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Things you want to get off your chest but can't

125 replies

Neonorchid · 12/08/2021 19:13

Spill it here...

I'll start! I love you to bits but my word you are spoiled. Every sentence does not have to start with I want.

OP posts:
Suprima · 13/08/2021 01:41

I just want my baby back

Me and your dad loved you so much

He is the most wonderful, gentlest man and it hurts me so much to know I will never see you two together.

user1493423934 · 13/08/2021 02:03

I miss you so much. You are my firstborn and I hate that you don't live with me, living at your Dad's isn't helping you at all. I know you're 13 and hormonal as hell, but it makes me so sad I don't see you every day, and that your dad is no doubt filling your head with lies about me.
I remember those days after you were born, and the bond we had.
I hope you'll come back one day.
I miss you and love you. I'll always be your mum. xxx

CornflowerBlue62 · 13/08/2021 02:07

Dear X,

Overhearing you describe us as friends made me feel a bit sick.

I laugh at your appalling remarks because you’re my manager and I’m a coward and hypocrite not because I think you’re actually funny or nice. I’m not sure who I dislike more, you or me.

giggly · 13/08/2021 02:17

Your spoiled and rude child completely ruined our holiday and has destroyed our friendship

RoseMartha · 13/08/2021 02:28

I am suffocating under your continued demands on my time and energy and goodwill. I am doing the best I can for you and support you in all ways and have organised outside of the home support most of which you reject. You tell me you dont love me and only use me for what you can get from me. You push me beyond my patience (and I am a patient person), on a daily basis and your constant need for control is making me want to run away and just live a quiet life on my own away from everyone. Your physical and emotional abuse towards me is just tearing me apart and breaking my heart and I cant walk away because I am your mother and you are a not yet an adult and I am the one who is there for you to pick up the pieces every time you fall apart.

TerriblyNaice · 13/08/2021 02:37

@Zandra123

You were my big bro you should have been my protector not abuser, you took away my childhood and my decisions even in adulthood have been affected by the experiences. Bastard.
I hear you. I'm in that place too, for the same reason as you.
MargaretThursday · 13/08/2021 03:04

You think you and your mate have been badly treated.

Actually, no. Everyone leant over backwards, even though he was rude, lied, verbally abusive whenever you weren't there and took the credit for things he hadn't done.
Telling us now that he was going to do all these marvellous things has absolutely no credence as our experience was he never did anything that he wasn't either cornered into or for his own benefit.
Trying to stop others from doing things they have agreed with us by saying now he's gone they don't want to to do is childish at best. We can talk to them, you know, and know that isn't the case.
And no, the local people aren't mourning he's not working with you any more. I can tell you they've got the same opinion as us. Yes, even those people you said "were best friends and would do anything for him". Some of those were the ones that warned us about his behaviour back at the beginning. Telling us otherwise does not convince us anything other than you're grasping at straws that don't exist.
And btw telling us we shouldn't take things personally when he'd been verbally abusive was particularly offensive.

So, grow up and stop behaving like a stroppy child. It wasn't that everyone was against him for no reason. It was that his behaviour was a constant problem.

But actually you are to blame too. Because every time someone raised a concern you leapt into protective mode. You did missing work for him. You removed people that raised concerns from positions where they could try and help. You denied that he'd done things. When he did things that you'd blown up at others for doing, you suddenly thought we were all being fussy and you started doing it too. In meetings we all knew you were messaging him to tell him what to say-he admitted it btw if you want to deny it.
If it really got to the point that you needed to talk to him about an issue, then he gave you an excuse that would have made dc as a toddler blush (and they were the master of bad excuses) and you came to tell everyone how life was so hard for him because he'd found a hole in his sock that morning, or something similar.

I wonder how it would have gone if you had pulling him up properly the first time concerns were raised. You never gave him a chance to improve because you always covered for him. Just like a spoilt toddler, why should he bother to do anything if you covered for him? So, yes, you do have to take some of the blame.

You can also take the blame for bullying. You think we don't know what happened in January because someone dared pull him up (rightfully)? That was bullying by both of you, and you have continued to be a bully and undermine the rest of the staff.

We trusted you until he came on the scene. You were trustworthy. Now if you told me the sky is blue, I'd look out of the window to confirm. It's going to take a long time to trust you again because we've seen a nasty side that's going to stay with us.

When I spoke to my doctor needing sick leave due to stress-yes that was stress entirely down to this situation, I described some of the things that had been going on and she asked if you two were in a relationship. That's what it's like. You're like a teenage lover who's just found the person he adores and can't see anything wrong. he's the abuser in a domestic abuse relationship.
I think you think it's returned. It's not. You've surrounded yourself with him and his friends who are rubbing their hands as to what they can get out of you. If you start not giving them that, you'll find they drift away.
If you don't get out from them, then you're not going to change because they're dripping poison into your brain.

So you have to stand up and take the consequences. I'm not going to believe any apology after the last one (which I did-but you went straight back to continuing with the same behaviour afterwards).

If you want any hope of being trusted again you need to break free of him. You won't though, because you won't admit even with physical evidence in front of you that there was ever any problem.

Yes, the whole situation was mostly him to blame. But you have to take the responsibility for allowing him to behave like that. For shielding him from any consequence of his actions. And you also have to take responsibility for bullying to try and get your own way. two years ago I'd never have thought it of you. But you have shown that you will throw anyone and everyone under a bus to get your own way as long as your buddy didn't have to face any consequence of his actions.

Unless you acknowledge all the above then there is little possibility of moving on fully. We can work together, but the trust has forever been broken between you and pretty much everyone else.
That's not everyone else's fault btw.

ToLiveInPeace · 13/08/2021 04:06

I love you to the ends of the earth, but carrying the load in every aspect of our lives has destroyed my health and it's crushing my soul. The only future I can picture scares me.

canneverfindmyslippers · 13/08/2021 05:04
  1. I’m too afraid of you to divorce you. Separate living is all I can do but you’re still scary.
  1. It was me who phoned the police last year when you were drink driving and I’ll never tell you that. So pleased you’re off the road for two years.
  1. I see the little digs in what you say in your messages and I see the subtle nastiness that is intentional but I don’t let it hurt me anymore.
  1. You’re an awful alcoholic and you know it. I secretly hope it completely incapacitates you very soon for my sake and your daughter’s. I know that is an awful thing to say and I am ashamed to feel it but the world would be better off without you.
spottygymbag · 13/08/2021 05:14

You child is a spoiled nightmare. She's not spirited, she's a bully. I'm sick of signing accident reports for my dc because yours has hit, scratched, ripped clothes and bitten mine. It has nothing to do with being a single parent or working full time. Get your act together and start parenting your child.

MeOldBamboo · 13/08/2021 05:29

If you don’t hurry up and kiss me as if your life depended on it, we are going to be friendzoned forever and we will miss out on what could be the best 10 years of our lives.
Come on, I know you have it in you.

Nightlystroll · 13/08/2021 05:31

If you're going to put your children in the garden to play, can you ask them to talk to each other instead of screaming every word. At 7 o'clock in the morning. Just shut the fuck up!

LoislovesStewie · 13/08/2021 05:37

@Ginghamglitter

I know you have ASD but please for the love of god talk to me about something other than North Korea, Communism or Minecraft… we’ve got 3.5 weeks of holiday left and I don’t think I can take being ‘talked at’ for hours on end any more!
I can recommend someone who can also talk on these subjects for hours; they need to get together. He also has ASD, no surprise there.
shiningcuckoo · 13/08/2021 06:11

It's been almost 30 years and 10000 miles and I realise that you were probably the one. And I think that is what you think too.

HappyBirthdayMrPresident · 13/08/2021 07:06

I get that we fucked up and should have handled it better but that does not give you the right to bully us into submission to get your own way and the sad thing is I know you will win in the end cause my mental health can only fight for so long

MolG5276bvfg · 13/08/2021 07:53

I know you’re family. I know you live a long way away but I don’t want to be your free hotel anymore when you come to visit everyone and never even offer to take me out to dinner. PS. I’m on holiday next time you’re here.

Themadcatparade · 13/08/2021 08:12

Your child deserves so much more than your abusive wreckless cruel mind game shit you dish out and I’m going to do everything I can to make sure she’s has the confidence to know she’s not in the wrong.

LordOfTheThings · 13/08/2021 08:22

I made a mistake and I'm sorry. If I could turn the clock back 35 years I would do things very differently and wouldn't have acted like such a spoilt bitch. I still love you now.

HeReWeGoAgAiN1112 · 13/08/2021 08:41

You confuse me so much. You are my one, but you don’t give me enough back. Sometimes you are amazing but mostly you disappoint and make me feel flat. I can’t keep away from you and you know it. I’ve always hoped it would work out with us and last week you gave me a glimmer of hope, then disappeared again.
We keep ending up back together randomly. I’ll always hope for a happy ever after but I know it will never be.

GoodnightGrandma · 13/08/2021 08:42

I want you to leave.

TheSecondMrsAshwell · 13/08/2021 08:59

You don't have to lie to me to make yourself look better, I love you anyway.

pinkpapaya · 13/08/2021 09:00

You have been dating this guy for 12 weeks and you are already speaking about him as though you have been together forever and you know everything there is to know about him. You met him online, you have introduced him to your family, your friends and yet he has not introduced you to anyone from his side, he won't let you meet his 23 year old son, he is telling you things about his job that don't add up if you know anything about how people in his profession work, he is supposedly in a job that pays 100K for the last 7 years but rents a flat in a grotty part of town. I have known you all my life. You are in your 40's now not a teenager and yet if you are physically attracted to a man, you will swallow whatever they tell you. You have never left home, never lived with a man or been married or even had a proper relationship. You have allowed yourself to be used by men who openly told you they could not love you, had 'issues' or just messed you around whilst seeing other women. Even when it was staring you in the face, you hung on. You bend yourself out of shape to be what they want even adopting hobbies that you have never had any interest in before. I get that you want to be with someone. I get that you want to be loved and be in love. I get all of that BUT please, please love yourself a bit more first and exercise a bit more judgment before claiming this latest one is 'the one'. You know so little about him, he is from overseas, you haven't met anyone who knows him, you haven't checked his background out, you only know what he has presented you with. I can't help but shake the feeling that perhaps there is another woman overseas and this is why he doesn't want you to meet his grown up son and why he tells you he has no real friends. I know I seem suspicious but it is because I care about you, I have seen you choose really unsuitable people who were giving red flag signs from the start, I have seen you allow yourself to be treated badly. I just want you to open your eyes, enjoy the heady days of romance by all means but just keep a bit of perspective and common sense in the process. I worry you will be hurt again. I think you are in love with the idea of being in love.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 13/08/2021 09:10
  1. You are the most selfish person I have ever known and you are partially the reason it took me so long to trust girls & women.
but last year you hurt me for the very last time and you are dead to me.
  1. You said a bunch of things that I wouldn't have expected from my worst enemy. Then you asked me to forgive you.
Well, I thought I did but I don't think I will ever be able to. I know you are sorry and that you miss me. But it means nothing to me anymore.

You are my what if...but I know the answer, which is "total disaster".🤣 We were not made for each other, that's for sure. But I'll always love you.

You broke my heart and I was devastated. But being so alone & miserable made me realise that nobody is ever promised to be loved or to have a happily ever after.
So I made the decision to not worry about that anymore and everything I did afterwards led me to the love of my life. You were the storm before the calm. Thank you.

You and I are just incompatible. And I hate that you have very little emotional intelligence, that you lie, that you never take my side. I hate so much about you.
I envy people who have relationships you and I never had.
The stories I hear are alien to me and it's a damn shame that you didn't try harder to understand me.

I dream about you and you are still alive. And then I wake up and I'm so angry with you. I wish you hadn't been rescued when you were. If you had died there & then, we would've mourned you and would've thought the world of you.
But instead you proceeded to fuck everything up so royally for the next 10 years that after you died we had to deal with the carnage you left behind for years.

KurtWilde · 13/08/2021 09:26
  • You were a good friend to me but you wanted too much. I know me stopping contact hurt you but staying in touch was hurting you more. Someone awesome is out there for you, but it's not me. I'm too broken to give you what you deserve.

  • I spent 15 years of my life with you, and I hate how you now talk like I'm a stranger to your past, like the memories we shared are just your memories now and I was never even there. I hate that you made me feel insane. Like everything was me. And only now do you admit that all my worries and suspicions were warranted. I hate how you are with her, how you treat her like you should have treat me. How you rub it in my face every time we have to speak. Because of you, I stopped trusting ME. Now every time someone tries to get close, I push them away in case I'm reading it wrong or they turn out to be just like you. I'd rather be alone forever than risk my sanity again.

amillionmenonmars · 13/08/2021 10:01

I hope you are all happy now that you finally pushed me out and yourselves up. But I hope you are all watching your own backs because each one of your is a self seeking bitch and your 'friendships' will crumble in the bid to make it to the top.

I guess by now you realise how much work I had to do when none of you were pulling your weight. Really hurts to have to do all that unpaid overtime and miss out on family life doesn't it?

I wish I could let go of the bitterness. I'm getting there. But just to let you know - I have a lie in every day if I want it. I go to the beach when the sun shines. I finally have a life of my own.