Americans, men and the ‘pumping of gas’

[RubyFakeLips]

Despite being over 40, I’ve become more and more into TikTok of late (I have a tween). The algorithm has obviously gone all fucked up for me and my feed has lots of country Americans, a plethora of ride on mowers, big trucks and actual cowboy hats. Not really my cup of tea but I’m obviously gripped.

Weirdly, lots of them seem to demonstrate being a gentleman (their phrasing) by “pumping their woman’s gas”, which it turns out is not a euphemism. Also lots of criticising men they’ve seen not pumping the gas and allowing a woman to fill up her own petrol.

Is this a thing?! Is it really seen as chivalrous to do your wife’s petrol? This is not a thing in the UK as far as I know, or is it?

There are men all over the world who are polite like that @Empressofthemundane.

Has to be noted that that was also the largest male demographic to have voted for Trump in 2016 and 2020.

Cmon Ruby admit it, you're aching for a cowboy to come and pump your er, gas aren't you!

The more that people talk about it, the more I think that I would quite like full-service petrol stations if I lived in a country with extreme weather. If it's 40 C and high humidity I would pay extra not to be outside. It's not really an issue in Ireland, although there was one extremely windy day that blew a drop of diesel onto my jumper as I was removing the nozzle. It took about five washes to get the smell out.

It's like fricking Gilead

Oil changes are a bit of an American thing too. Ours presumably gets checked whenever the car gets serviced/MOT'd but we'd never make a point of going for an oil change.

We did have a company pool car once that needed oil putting in it regularly, but that was because it was a complete lemon. Was not sad to see the back of that one.

Has anyone mentioned this Smack the Pony sketch yet?

The conclusion I draw from it is that American men pump gas for their women because they don't want women to experience the exhilaration of waving a huge willy around in public.

I pulled into a pay at pump station in Sicily once and a local homeless man was 'pumping gas' for people because he had nothing else to do. Easy way to make a few euros.

I will not go to a station that doesn't have pay at pump.

@YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer

I'm American, and my DH pumps my gas for me. I can do it, and do when I'm alone but in general he pumps it for me. Men here also will "start the car" for their DW or Partner in the cold weather. I remember a thread here a while back where people were shocked that men in America did that. So yes it is a thing here, but also women CAN pump our own gas. As for states where you cant I believe there are only 1 or 2 where it is not allowed.

Oh my gosh, I'm from New England and have never heard of this. We must be the cold and frosty Americans. 🤷🏻‍♀️

The driver of the car fills the tank where I'm from. On family trips, that normally was my dad because he's a bit of a control freak when it comes to the road, and my mom is an anxious driver. Had nothing to do with "being the man". Can't remember it ever coming up with any of my friends or boyfriends either. Holding the door or pulling out my chair, sure. Not filling up my car...

Scottish DH actually will scrape the windows of my car when it's frosty out, but that genuinely has more to do with the fact that he's more organized than I am in the morning, and is normally out the door first with time to spare. He does it to be nice, and because he knows I'm already running late. If I don't return the favor (because even if I'm first out of the house, I'm typically still running late), he gets a bit disgruntled.

I saw one of these videos. A man was telling a story of how he saw a woman pumping her own gas while her husband sat in the passenger seat. He walked over to her and asked why couldn't her man do that for her. She looked confused and asked "What do you mean my man?" He said "Your man is sitting right there in the passenger seat, why can't he do it for you?" She replied "That's my momma"

I'm in the UK. My 58 year old father still fills my mums car up with petrol for her. She literally cannot remember the last time she filled her own car up with petrol

I remember my mum getting petrol as a child, when it was done by an assistant, Mum always asked for £5 worth which wouldn't get you much today. She does say she often wishes it was still done for her and someone would check her oil and the air pressure in her tyres.

I think that America is so vast and varied, that saying ‘they do that in America’ is like saying ‘they do that in Europe’. Bet all the pumping is going on in the red states!

I’m in the UK and my mum fills up for my dad. I always think it’s because he’s a lazy arse but she thinks it’s just being thoughtful.

Ok, I am aware of the comedy of this thread, but still, I'm going to be boringly anthropological:

• My (UK) grandmother was perfectly capable of filling a car but was quite clear it was a man's job if there were a man available. She was the main earner in the family for some years, and thoroughly capable, so this wasn't just studied ineptitude.

• My dad would generally fill the car while my mum queued to pay. No one ever explained the logic and my mum is dyspraxic so it could well be a pragmatic attempt to limit her ability to get petrol everywhere. But I grew up thinking it was polite to share the task.

• I (shamefully) assume DW will fill the car if we're both in the car. I can do it just fine, but this thread makes me realise I'm conditioned to assume someone else should!

Gosh I used to make DH pump gas. A Midwest winter is no joke. He still talks about the time he pumped gas and it was -30 Fahrenheit in Iowa. Thanks but no thanks. I’m honestly a capable adult, I just hate being cold.

@FlatCheese

Oil changes are a bit of an American thing too. Ours presumably gets checked whenever the car gets serviced/MOT'd but we'd never make a point of going for an oil change.

We did have a company pool car once that needed oil putting in it regularly, but that was because it was a complete lemon. Was not sad to see the back of that one.

@flatcheese

This has piqued my curiosity. How far would you say you drive between service/mot’d?

We do oil changes every 3000 miles. I’ve managed to drive 1400 miles in the last 4 weeks just taking my dd to holiday clubs and making a couple of trips to the market. Thankfully summer is my highest mileage time. The rest of the year it’s much lower, but the nearest shop is still a good 5 miles away.

My DP s from the Deep South. I’m from the U.K. and we live here. He always pumps my gas It isn’t at all about not being “able” to: he also always takes out the rubbish bags. I strongly get the impression that the culture is that these and other jobs that aren’t very “nice” should be done by boys/men. I love it - it’s smelly and dirty and kind of boring. I love that he just gets out to do it, even if he’s in the passenger seat - hell, even if we’re in someone else’s car (if the driver is a woman). Sadly he doesn’t wear a cowboy hat to do it…

Wolframhart An oil change every 3,000 miles? Is that what the manufacturer recommends? I've never done it, unless they do it when the car is serviced which is every couple of years. I do about 10,000 km a year (less during lockdown obviously). About 5 cars ago I had the oil light come on on the dashboard and it needed an oil top up and that's the only oil-related thing I've in in at least a couple of decades.

Ok I confess, I don’t think this type of content is completely unsolicited for me. I’m not quite sure what Trad Wife is but I did save a few big truck vids, and to be completely truthful, I keenly watched several shirtless cowboy clips before the gas pumping began

I understand we’re all able to pump gas, I just hadn’t realised that anyone would consider it an act of chivalry. Things like holding the door open are pretty well known. Except in Korea where that does not happen.

Being called ma’am? Is that complimentary?! I think it might be similar to the crushing moment when you stop getting asked for ID or when my mum was offered an over 65s ticket at the pictures.

Ok I confess, I don’t think this type of content is completely unsolicited for me. I’m not quite sure what Trad Wife is but I did save a few big truck vids, and to be completely truthful, I keenly watched several shirtless cowboy clips before the gas pumping began

Ha! Now it all comes out!

You know I just bought a new car that is more computer than car. I didn’t actually check to see what the recommended interval is on oil changes. The car will ping my phone when it’s time and I’ll worry about it then. I’m just happy to have one less thing to track.

I've Googled the oil change thing. Most American car manufacturers actually recommend between 5,000 and 10,000 miles between changes. The 3,000 mile thing is partly marketing by the oil producers and partly because that interval was advisable decades ago (pre 1990s) and people have just continued out of habit. Also, American cars tend to use traditional oil which becomes sludgy but European and Asian cars are designed to use synthetic oil which lasts considerably longer without needing to be cleared out because of sludge problems. Anyway, oil changes don't exist as a concept in Europe because it's part of the service every two or three years, it's just one of a list of things that happen during the checks, like wheel alignment and air conditioning fluid replacement.