Americans, men and the ‘pumping of gas’

[RubyFakeLips]

Despite being over 40, I’ve become more and more into TikTok of late (I have a tween). The algorithm has obviously gone all fucked up for me and my feed has lots of country Americans, a plethora of ride on mowers, big trucks and actual cowboy hats. Not really my cup of tea but I’m obviously gripped.

Weirdly, lots of them seem to demonstrate being a gentleman (their phrasing) by “pumping their woman’s gas”, which it turns out is not a euphemism. Also lots of criticising men they’ve seen not pumping the gas and allowing a woman to fill up her own petrol.

Is this a thing?! Is it really seen as chivalrous to do your wife’s petrol? This is not a thing in the UK as far as I know, or is it?

This is astonishing. The infantilisation of women. I've always put in my own petrol. I've never considered it a "manly" thing. But then I also put bins out, mow the lawn and can use a drill.

I suppose some women must like it though. There was a thread on here a while ago where lots of women said they liked their husband to go to the bar and being them drinks even if (get this) the woman had actually given him the money, so they got to feel "like a princess" (boak) despite paying for the privilege. So perhaps I shouldn't be surprised.

When I first met DH his village station had a pump attendant; their insurance or something didn’t allow public use.

I was mortified sitting there having someone do the work. After that one occasion I’d drive past the place to get to BP

I can and do get my own diesel but if I'm with DH he just automatically drives and fills the car. I do all the life admin, it's the least he can do 😂

I can understand if the woman is all dressed up in something fancy.
But otherwise it sounds really weird.

That said I can remember my grandma lived near a petrol station that still had an attendant in the 80s and always used it. She didn't learn to drive until after her husband died so it wasn't like he had filled up for her in the past.

I used pump attendant pump just last week. There used in older cars to be an embarrassing struggle to open the flap and now fir me to lush the right buttons at the right time.

I admit I don't defrost my car but that's because there is a mystery person who does it
I used to work shifts so earlies, lates and nights. Every time I came out to my car without fail, it would be defrosted. 5am, midnight.. didn't matter. I don't know who does it and it's been years now!

Lol it's only the great state of New Jersey that prohibits this expression of chivalry the law has been changed in Oregon. I love it, I drive in, hand my credit card to (usually) a young man and five minutes later I'm driving out again. If I find myself filling up in Pennsylvania or New York I do it myself, nbd.

When I was a kid my dad would get out and watch the guy fill the tank, I don't know if men do that anymore. The attendant used to wash the windscreen and check the water too but that went the way of the dinosaurs.

In the UK if we're both in the car dh (who is British) does usually do it and I usually thank him. It's not because I can't do it myself. If I see his tea stewing next to the kettle I make it and take it to him, it's not because he can't do it himself.

It's not an American thing! Maybe a southern thing.

I imagine it's a bit like how, when you read MN threads about how the DH doesn't do his share of household chores, the one chore he always does do is the bins. It's like the manly chore.

I imagine all these men do jack shit at home but hey they do the gas station bit.

When I used to live in Texas it was definitely considered a very chivalrous thing to pump gas for a woman. As in, many female friends would consider it a "man's job" and would never compromising their manicure to do such a thing 😁 If Daddy took care of it, your man would continue the duty. See also: oil changes, car washes and topping up air in tyres.

Ah - the old blue and pink jobs !

I'm in Missouri and this definitely isn't a thing around us.

I think you are being served right-wing Tradwife content. It's the kind of thing I could imagine someone like Mrs. Midwest spouting.

I think American pumps are different though. Ours have to be held and squeezed all the time for the fuel to flow, but American ones can be locked on and left. Unless they've changed in the past couple of years.

So its even easier than in the UK and involves very little effort. But I do think America seem to find jobs where there aren't any such as petrol pump attendants and the people who stand at the bottom of the escalator in department stores smiling at you for no reason.

@HeronLanyon

Loved it when this little arrow was finally explained for me ! Wouldn’t it be great if electric cars retained this dial instead of digital battery readout ? As for starting cold - if the car has a manual choke then starting could be a bugger esp on cold mornings to say nothing of the starter handle which I remember from 60s family Austins. Still now starting to get the heat going would be a splendid thing for someone to do if not noisy for sleeping neighbours.

If you're thinking of the arrow aligning with which side the fuel cap is, that's a case of fact following fiction.

Half of the cars I've had, had the arrow pointing to the opposite side. I can't remember what the arrow was supposed to signify, but it wasn't originally pointing to which side the fuel cap was.

It seems to be more common now that the arrow is pointing in the right direction, and I reckon designers have taken this urban myth and run with it.

@MouseholeCat

I'm in Missouri and this definitely isn't a thing around us.

I think you are being served right-wing Tradwife content. It's the kind of thing I could imagine someone like Mrs. Midwest spouting.

Yeah it does sound... specific.

Back in the day, in America, your dad got out to fill up the tank, and the other men in the car got out to stand next to him. 😂 I have no idea why this was a thing.

I wonder if it’s a satisfying job, standing and smiling at people all day. I can see both pros and cons.

And are the men who pump their wives’ gas also the sort who remove their wives’’ stocking garters with their teeth at the wedding reception?

I have never put in my own fuel, or air in my tyres either. We have attendants who do it.

I don't think anyone else is able to though as they use a disc to unlock or reset it each time.

I just sit in the car and they wash the window too.

I always tip well though.

One of the put down cheers it the excellent film that is Bring It On was "you're going to pump our gas someday" ie you'll have a low paid job.

I have a friend whose husband fills her car. She has a full time job and is a capable person, I'm not sure why she can't manage this basic task

@MrsMariaReynolds

When I used to live in Texas it was definitely considered a very chivalrous thing to pump gas for a woman. As in, many female friends would consider it a "man's job" and would never compromising their manicure to do such a thing 😁 If Daddy took care of it, your man would continue the duty. See also: oil changes, car washes and topping up air in tyres.

Really?

I live in Texas and no one has ever offered to "pump my gas" for me, ever.

I do remember there being two prices for petrol/gas. One was "full-service" where someone put gas in your car, checked your tires and oil, and cleaned your windscreen/windshield and you paid an additional fee per gallon. The second was called, "self-service" and you paid less but did it yourself. I think the "full-service" was pretty much gone by the late 80's.

@SalsaLove

Back in the day, in America, your dad got out to fill up the tank, and the other men in the car got out to stand next to him. 😂 I have no idea why this was a thing.

Oh yes, that's a thing here. Sometimes guys get out and watch the filling process. I just assumed it was because they didn't trust the attendant was filling it correctly. We can have it filled full, or full full. The latter is past the click off, but it's quite well monitored so doesn't overflow. I always thought the getting out was a full full viewing....

Say what now?
Or should I say: wtf did I just read?
Are we talking about gas gas or you know (whispers) gas?
I mean I don't even... I can't even... dare I ask if they've started looking for the man to change the light bulbs again too?
I mean does the man look more manly if he's "pumping gas" at tesco or at shell? Does he have to dress a certain way to do the deed? So many questions...

The gas pumps in the USA are such a faff, at least the ones in California.

I'd have full service every time if I could.

American men from the South and Midwest tend to be pretty polite. They will call you ma’am. They will offer you their seat. They will open doors for you, change your tire, open jars, kill bugs, compliment the food, pick up heavy things, wash the car, mow the lawn, etc.

I miss them.

You're not allowed to pump your own gas in New Jersey. There's lots of cars with bumper stickers saying "Jersey Girls Don't Pump Gas" like that's some kind of weird badge of honour.

Canada still has places with full/self service stations, even when it's pay at pump - they wash the windscreen and headlights in winter, check the oil, etc. At supermarkets near a relatives house, it's like that and she always goes there for that service. In the winter it's seriously cold and can be slushy and/or slippery, so no point getting out of the car if someone will do it for you. And it's a good job for teenagers, both boys and girls. I guess generally it's maybe a more male thing to do, though, so men might be more chivalrous by doing it, like opening doors or doing some kind of mechanical things with the car. Of course it's not necessary but still seen as a bit chivalrous to do I think, and then just becomes part of the typical male/female stereotyped job divide.