Americans, men and the ‘pumping of gas’

[RubyFakeLips]

Despite being over 40, I’ve become more and more into TikTok of late (I have a tween). The algorithm has obviously gone all fucked up for me and my feed has lots of country Americans, a plethora of ride on mowers, big trucks and actual cowboy hats. Not really my cup of tea but I’m obviously gripped.

Weirdly, lots of them seem to demonstrate being a gentleman (their phrasing) by “pumping their woman’s gas”, which it turns out is not a euphemism. Also lots of criticising men they’ve seen not pumping the gas and allowing a woman to fill up her own petrol.

Is this a thing?! Is it really seen as chivalrous to do your wife’s petrol? This is not a thing in the UK as far as I know, or is it?

I was a PT "diversified petroleum by-products transfer engineer" at uni in the 80s. That was our joke name for full-serve pump jockey. I "pumped gas", "dipped the tip" (😉 checked the oil), & cleaned the screens. Half the staff were female. Americans are definitely going backwards!

@YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer why would someone need their car started for them in cold weather? Am I missing something?

Why am I laughing so much at this thread? I just have to think of the phrase “pumping gas” and I start giggling. I need help. Or a manly American.

I think a lot of older women set store by a husband doing “chivalrous” acts such as filling up with petrol/opening car door.

I was, however, rather taken aback when ds’s friend’s mum said, in response to my saying I needed to fill up the car, “Oh, Malcolm would never let me do that.” That was me told.

Loved it when this little arrow was finally explained for me !
Wouldn’t it be great if electric cars retained this dial instead of digital battery readout ?
As for starting cold - if the car has a manual choke then starting could be a bugger esp on cold mornings to say nothing of the starter handle which I remember from 60s family Austins.
Still now starting to get the heat going would be a splendid thing for someone to do if not noisy for sleeping neighbours.

[quote thelegohooverer]@YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer why would someone need their car started for them in cold weather? Am I missing something?[/quote]
So the car warms up. They also scrape the ice/snow off the windows too. So when the woman goes out her car is warm and windows are clear and ready to drive. It's not that women are incapable of doing these things, its just I guess left over chivalry from "the olden days". I'm not going to lie, I prefer not having to scrape my windows and not getting into a freezing cold car LOL. But my DH now has a job that starts much earlier then mine so I have to do it myself now. I know, I know poor me haha

I was bemused when a woman I used to work with said her retired husband would get up earlier than her and reverse her car out of the garage for her because, in her words " I can't do it".

This was the English Midlands in the late 90s.

Sometimes when I lived on the east coast of the US and there had been 'freezing rain', encasing the car in a carapace of ice like a giant frozen prawn (sorry, shrimp) , DH could sometimes physically wrench open the car door when I couldn't. But apart from that....

DH is being, IMO, a Proper Man at the moment - he's teaching our 22 yo DD how to do the DIY stuff on the car we're giving her now she's starting work.

My MIL had never filled the car with petrol and had to be shown how after my FIL died (Malaysia, not America). I was surprised to hear that, she's a very independent person and not the type to sit around waiting for someone else to do things for her. Mind you, she also told my SIL that a married woman shouldn't leave the house after 7pm unless accompanied by her husband, so clearly had some rather old-fashioned ideas.

There was a stage when we were living in London, so didn't use the car much, and the car was only filled at weekends before we set out on a trip somewhere. Because we were both in the car and I was driving (DH didn't drive then) the fuel flap was always on DH's side so he just filled it. I didn't even really notice until I went to get petrol during the week while DH was at work, and DS piped up from the back "We can't get petrol Mummy, Daddy isn't with us".

I just never understand using the word 'pump' as a verb in this situation. Nobody has ever actually pumped anything, that's a strenuous action involving movement, and filling a car with fuel involves pressing a small lever.

Yes you hold the pump but you're not actually pumping. Ridiculous.

I live in the US. This is real, and it’s completely lame. You have to think of it in the same vein as ole southern men doing ‘manly’ things for their southern wives: the kind you’re seeing on tiktok only do it because it enhances their manliness (or so they think). They become big by belittling others, not because they’re actually great. And the women who let their menfolk pump their gas for them are the type to enjoy being kept. Many voted for Trump…..

I know a widowed woman who would drive over 25miles across her state border so that she could have her gas pumped for her.

Meanwhile, in the rest of the country, it’s completely normal for the driver to pump their own gas, regardless of whether they’re in possession of a penis or a vagina.

I think TikTok is the antithesis of reality.

exactly.

This thread is feeding my obsession with the American south, I love it !!!!

local woman pumps gas for the first time on her 80th birthday’

🤣🤣🤣

Love the East Coast Frozen Prawn image errol. Remember that from Boston days. Have known freezing rain only a few times here in London when houses and everything outside Franky ended up covered in ice. Amazing.
black

I assume there a time when pumping was involved (human pumping) feel as though I’ve seen it in old 20s (?) silent movies ??

Having your car heated and windows scraped on freezing days sounds like heaven. We used to do the windows whoever was our first but never start the car. That's the dream right there - and a coffee in the cup holder and donut on the passenger seat. Id even fill the petrol myself for that life of luxury.

Yes you hold the pump but you're not actually pumping. Ridiculous.

Yes this is why I was confused I wondered if it was actually a different system in America that meant you were actually pumping something.

toobig I know !

This tickled my fancy

‘Yes you hold the pump but you're not actually pumping. Ridiculous.’ From ‘pragmaticwench’

Great thread op

We stayed with friends in New Jersey in Feb one year, they ran the car on the driveway for 30 mins before we got in - it was -18 deg C outside so car had to be warmed up before it moved.

I’m American. When DH and I are out together, he almost always drives because I am an anxious driver and he is a relaxed driver. If we stop for gas, he will typically get the gas. If we are on a road trip though we often divide and conquer so the person getting the gas will be whoever ends up being most efficient when assigning tasks for the pit stop, bathrooms, snacks, map checks, etc.

So no, I wouldn’t say it’s a thing universally.

American culture is also really not very cohesive. The infighting you might be seeing between Trump and anti-Trump, mask and anti-mask. Those are just symptoms of a bigger socio-economic divide that is growing wider and wider. Our cultural mores are growing further apart. My peers would mock the idea the a man needs to pump the gas. Conversely, I have a family member my age who has a full time job, but still lays out her husband’s clothes every morning.

I think American pumps are different though. Ours have to be held and squeezed all the time for the fuel to flow, but American ones can be locked on and left. Unless they've changed in the past couple of years.

@ErrolTheDragon

Sometimes when I lived on the east coast of the US and there had been 'freezing rain', encasing the car in a carapace of ice like a giant frozen prawn (sorry, shrimp) , DH could sometimes physically wrench open the car door when I couldn't. But apart from that....

DH is being, IMO, a Proper Man at the moment - he's teaching our 22 yo DD how to do the DIY stuff on the car we're giving her now she's starting work.

I have a garage now, plus cars don’t really use keys anymore, but I used to have a “key” that heated up to unfreeze the lock so I could put my actual key in.

Sometimes took me an hour to de-ice my car enough to drive to school at 6 in the morning.

Yes, American pumps you typically just get it started and can then just stand there until it shuts off automatically. It’s ridiculously easy, especially since nearly everywhere has pay at the pump now.

BarbaraofSeville I thought it was about farting too My DH does refuel for me but more often than not I do it myself!! I just wish DH could drive but that is a whole other thread and part of the reason I make him do the fuel so he knows what he is doing if and when he ever learns to drive, which at 46 I don’t think he ever will 😬

I can and will pump my own but I'm fortunate to live in a village where we still have serviced pumps (in the UK). Thing is, the person that pumps here is the lovely 80 year old lady that owns it. Also, have to confess, DH does warm my car up on cold, frosty mornings.