It's a (British) dogs life

[Cruddles]

To set the scene, I'm originally from Australia and my wife is from London, and we live in the South East of England. We have two children under 5. My wife has always talked about getting a dog one day.

A few weeks ago we moved into our forever home, part of it is a fairly decent size garden, would be about 20m long by 8m wide. Also there's a large garage at the rear of the garden, and a utility room in the house accessable from the side.

When the discussion of having a dog comes up it seems my wife and i have very differing views of how it's managed. Growing up in Australia we always had a dog. It would live in the garden and provided with a kennel. At night we would put the dog in the garage with a basket with blankets in it. The dog would be allowed in the house when the family was at home, but there would be strict rules about where in the house it could go, bedrooms were definitely a no no. The dog would be walked 3-5 times a week, weather dependent, and it never travelled in the car anywhere.

My wife's experience of having a dog is it lives inside with the family, including sleeping on beds. It would remain inside if everyone was out, letting it out in the garden was just for going to the toilet or having a play. It would be walked two times a day, no matter the weather, and would often go in the car with them to places.

I believe that our house provides the kind of set to i had in Australia for keeping dogs, and I'd be happy to get an appropriate dog now. My wife insists that the "Australian" way is cruel for the UK as Australia "is always hot" so dogs can live outside. This is utter jibberish and my wife partly says it tongue in cheek, but she insists the "British" way is the only way to keep a dog. I would be happy to set up an area in the garage or the utility room that the dog could access that would have heating for the really cold days as a compromise, but this isn't enough.

If it is the "British" way i don't think i ever want a dog. I already have two children, i don't want a hairy, slobbering third one.

So my question is, is my wife correct? Does everyone else keep dogs the "British" way and I'm cruel, or is she over the top?

Well your wife's opinion is what most British people would think, they would think it was cruel and wonder why you even want a dog if you are going to neglect it that way.

Your wife is correct! You should not get a dog.

Pet dogs in the UK are generally treated as your wife says.
Unless they are/have been working dogs, or have such thick coats that they dislike being inside, then they live inside with the family and are (hopefully) seen as part of the family.

I think your biggest problem is likely to be how you and your wife will treat the dog so differently, I think that could be a problem for your relationship!

In Britain it would be considered cruel to make a dog sleep outside. Your wife is correct.

OOOOH you have done it now! Be prepared for some rather heated replies!

I think most dog lovers in UK who have dogs think of them as part of the family so would of course be happy for them to be in the home.

I must admit I have seen too many animal cop programmes from USA where people chain their dogs outside, often with no water or food, an embedded collar, but when asked claim to love their dogs! I know you would not think of doing that but I cannot understand why have a dog and leave it outside unless it is a guard dog?

Having a dog and not having it snuggle up to you on the sofa when watching tv seems weird to me. I saw that as a cat lover!!!!!

Say that not saw that!

I'd say your way is v cruel. My partner is Australian and his family have always had dogs - I don't recognise the way you treat them as the way his family do or his friends. They walk their dogs several times a day, take them on holiday, dogs are inside whenever. We have a dog and he's inside, goes to daycare, walked several times a day, and comes everywhere with us. If that's the way you want to have a dog, I don't think you should have one personally as it sounds like neglect

I think you are cruel and the way you treat that dog was terrible. What is the point! They also need walking every day sometimes twice. Wow! Please don't get a dog you don't deserve one.

You can of course kennel dogs outside, and it's how many working dogs live.

Pet dogs would live indoors with their families, and would of course have both interactions and exercise on a daily basis.

Your DW is correct, but you could train the dog to sleep somewhere else in that house than in your bed.

A young and healthy dog needs walked at least twice a day

What your family did was very cruel - really horribly cruel

Dogs are pack animals. Your way is cruel for a single dog but workable for 2/3 dogs.

My DM is in her late 70s and her childhood dog was kept that way (in the UK) and never had dog food, it was fed on scraps and leftovers. It apparently lived until it was 16. I don't know of anyone who keeps pet dogs like that now (hunting or working dogs, yes). My ddog (pts this year) was my best friend and slept on my bed and would sneak under the duvet in winter, came everywhere with me and loved the car. Anywhere I was, ddog was right next to me.

If you were to get a rescue dog and described your way of how a dog would live you they would refuse you a dog and tell you how cruel that would be.

The lack of exercise and socialising with others dogs alone would be an absolute vile way to keep a dog.

Any dog regardless of nationality is going to be bored and lonely if it spends most of its time outside on its own or in a garage on its own. I treat my dog like another child! She comes everywhere with us.

Your way would be fine if you had several dogs, as they would be living in their pack and so could be happy in a garage / garden setup. A single dog though? No way! It would be so lonely! I'm with your wife!

Yeah either you’re attitude to having a dog needs a major overhaul or you shouldn’t get one. From what you’ve described I can’t see what happiness a dog would bring to your life or you to theirs.

I’m with your wife too
Our dog isn’t allowed in bedrooms he comes in car mainly to park it’s not like he comes everywhere with us. He sleeps downstairs at night on his own. Walks 3 times a day

To leave a single dog outside is cruel doesn’t it lead to behaviour issues?

Interesting that it’s so different

I don't see the point of a dog as a pet unless it spends most of its time inside. A guard dog or farm dog would be different.

In the U.K. dog theft is a huge problem. Also any dog kept outside could well disturb the neighbours.
Is there a compromise? My dogs don’t go upstairs and stay off the furniture/don’t go in bedrooms?
They do need daily walks.
You can’t leave a dog whilst you go off on a day trip. I’m off out with my dogs later today. But they go in the boot. We have a dog guard and the boot is lined with washable vet fleece.
No rescue or decent U.K. breeder will let you have a dog in the way you describe.

Our dog is part of the family. He sleeps in one of his 3 beds, is walked twice a day and, as often as is feasible comes on holiday with us.
My DH is not a dog person but even he would not leave him outside all on his own.

Thanks all for the replies, i think the consensus is clear! Just to be clear, our dogs did spend time cuddling up on the sofa, whenever we were at home the door was open and the dog was in the living room and kitchen with us and got lots of cuddles.

But yes, we never thought we were cruel to our dogs, they had shelter and food, and space to move. It seems we may have been unkind in some ways

I mean, our dog doesn't sleep on the beds and rarely goes upstairs but he does live inside, is walked every day and lies on our laps on the sofa so I would say we are more like your wife in the treatment of our dog. We are British.

It's fine for dogs to live outside in appropriate kennels. That's how many working dogs live.

The idea of only walking it a couple of times times week, depending on the weather is awful.

Not all British owners allow dogs on beds though and they're not always allowed on sofas.

I don’t think your way sounds cruel at all - but I think your wife is right, it was ok because of the weather conditions.

If you put a dog in the garage through winter here that would be extremely cruel and negligent. On taking the dog out with you I think that’s personal opinion but I decided not to get one until we could accept it as a part of the family - which means coming with us whenever possible.

Why would the dog living/sleeping outside be the dealbreaker if you’re happy to have it cuddle on the sofas/in the house when you’re in?

My dog sleeps downstairs, do not allowed upstairs to bedrooms at all. She has several beds downstairs. She’s allowed on the sofa to cuddle only when we’re there. The door is open to the garden pretty much permanently when the weather doesn’t prevent that, so free to go in and out, but is in the house (downstairs) if we’re out. Sometimes she comes with us in the car, sometimes not depending on the activity.

I don’t see you and your wife are a million miles apart?