It's a (British) dogs life

[Cruddles]

To set the scene, I'm originally from Australia and my wife is from London, and we live in the South East of England. We have two children under 5. My wife has always talked about getting a dog one day.

A few weeks ago we moved into our forever home, part of it is a fairly decent size garden, would be about 20m long by 8m wide. Also there's a large garage at the rear of the garden, and a utility room in the house accessable from the side.

When the discussion of having a dog comes up it seems my wife and i have very differing views of how it's managed. Growing up in Australia we always had a dog. It would live in the garden and provided with a kennel. At night we would put the dog in the garage with a basket with blankets in it. The dog would be allowed in the house when the family was at home, but there would be strict rules about where in the house it could go, bedrooms were definitely a no no. The dog would be walked 3-5 times a week, weather dependent, and it never travelled in the car anywhere.

My wife's experience of having a dog is it lives inside with the family, including sleeping on beds. It would remain inside if everyone was out, letting it out in the garden was just for going to the toilet or having a play. It would be walked two times a day, no matter the weather, and would often go in the car with them to places.

I believe that our house provides the kind of set to i had in Australia for keeping dogs, and I'd be happy to get an appropriate dog now. My wife insists that the "Australian" way is cruel for the UK as Australia "is always hot" so dogs can live outside. This is utter jibberish and my wife partly says it tongue in cheek, but she insists the "British" way is the only way to keep a dog. I would be happy to set up an area in the garage or the utility room that the dog could access that would have heating for the really cold days as a compromise, but this isn't enough.

If it is the "British" way i don't think i ever want a dog. I already have two children, i don't want a hairy, slobbering third one.

So my question is, is my wife correct? Does everyone else keep dogs the "British" way and I'm cruel, or is she over the top?

@Toomuchtodoo

Dogs in the UK definitely need to be walked nore than 3 times a week. I'm assuming the majority of gardens are very big in Australia, so the dogs have more room to run around. If this is the case, the OP isn't necessarily being cruel by only walkng 3 times a week In the UK wirh our smaller gardens, a dog needs to be walked at least twice a day.

Dog walks are just as much about novel smells and socialisation as they are exercise. Otherwise a dog could just live its life happily in a big garden with no walls at all.

*walks

My DF’s working sheepdogs slept outside.

Now he’s retired, his dog sleeps in the kitchen, is allowed in bedrooms but not on furniture and goes in the car for walks in different places.

I would say we fall somewhere in the middle.

I wouldn't have dogs that need to live outside. I would walk most days. I say most its maybe once or twice a year they are missed. The dogs live in the downstairs of the house. But do have run if the downstairs. Are allowed on their sofa. But only on their blankets. They also go out in tbe car alot with us .

I totally understand that there will be differences in how pets are kept.

But I am not convinced that you know alot of about how to look after dogs. They absolutely shouldn't be run ragged until they have no energy left. So I think if you do get a dog, you may need to do some research into canine behaviour.

And posters like the one that still believe dogs need to know their place also has no clue either.

Don't get a dog for fucks sake. You are absolutely fucking clueless 🙄

I'm with @Wolfiefan

In the U.K. dog theft is a huge problem. Also any dog kept outside could well disturb the neighbours.
Is there a compromise? My dogs don’t go upstairs and stay off the furniture/don’t go in bedrooms?
They do need daily walks.
You can’t leave a dog whilst you go off on a day trip. I’m off out with my dogs later today. But they go in the boot. We have a dog guard and the boot is lined with washable vet fleece.
No rescue or decent U.K. breeder will let you have a dog in the way you describe.

My sister lives in Brisbane and her dogs sleep on the veranda but come in the house when the family are up and about and definitely come in holiday to the coast, walking and swimming every day.

It does rather depend on what sort of dog you have but outdoor living isn't the norm in the UK except for farm and guard dogs.

I have never let our dogs upstairs or in furniture and until we got our latest, 8 month old working cocker.

Alas, we have gone all wrong this time. He's just so cuddly! He lies in my arms and sucks a finger like a baby ❤️!
But of course when he's feeling playful and boisterous and he's wet and muddy he treats the sofa like a trampoline. Big mistake.
So we are reasserting boundaries and he is banished to his bed, he looks so hurt and I miss the cuddles but it's for the best.
And definitely not allowed upstairs but he sneaks up on a shoe hunt if he gets the chance when no one's looking. We have to have a barrier which I recently fell over and lucky not to break a leg.
He sleeps in the utility room.

So all I'm saying is agree your red lines and train as you mean to go on!

@Greenrubber

I think you have misread the OP. They state that the dog in Australia was walked 3-5 times a WEEK not a day. How is that more exercise ? The dog isn't even walked daily .

And this is why you don't want them
In the furniture!

(Dog threads need pictures imo).

Please don't get any pet; they are members of your family and deserve some kindness, my cat has a cat flap, so she can come and go as she pleases and is never, ever chucked out at night. I wouldn't want that, so why should she? And every dog we have ever had, lives in the house, was walked at least twice a day; they need company, not just to be left staring out of a kennel. They both wander around the house as they choose, and my kids would ask to have a dog or cat with them at night.

Ours lived in U.K. sleeping in a large barn with about a dozen dogs on straw. Very healthy, very well looked after and trained, but a working dog rather than pure pet. She’s retired to become a pet now. She doesn’t go upstairs, spends hours in the garden come rain or shine and chooses when she is prepared to spend time with us.

There’s a mid point between total indulgence, being a toy with few rules and the other end of spectrum which is tied up/kept on concrete and hosed down.

Yes, I do think it's cruel to keep dogs outside in the uk. The weather is complete different in Australia, not sure why that is "utter jibberish", although I know lots of farm dogs who chose to sleep outside or in barns. I do think people here go a bit mad with treating their dogs like humans. Mine is allowed on the couch, not on the beds. He wasn't supposed to get on the couch but I relented on that very quickly when he was a puppy. Now he jumps up and lies on my legs all the time.
Yes, people here are obsessed with rigid rules on walking dogs. For instance it's absolutely pushing down here today, my dog got up the park this morning for the toilet and that's it. He's not going to die because missed his walk today. Same for when it was excruciatingly hot a few weeks ago. I don't walk him in that weather either. I've discussed this with my mum yet she still sneaks over to mine and takes him out in the middle of the afternoon, even although she claims she agrees about it being too hot. She's due to have her key taken off her.
I think dogs in this country are treated a bit too much like children sometimes. They need to know their place in the pecking order and that's at the bottom. Could be the reason there are some many unruly, maniac dogs around now with their "oh he just wants to play, he won't hurt him" owners.

Generally though he's never left alone for anymore than a few hours, and he used to go in the boot of the car but prams and dps work stuff live in there too often so he usually sits in the back seat of the car or on the floor (its a big car so lots of floor space in the back)

I'm British born and raised but lived in Australia for a while (in Sydney and rurally) so I recognise both of your view points. I was shocked at how different Australians treat their dogs.

I don't think either is intrinsically wrong however dogs are pack animals and see their 'family' as their pack so I don't agree with the Australian way. If I was your wife I just wouldn't get a dog if those were the rules I had to abide by.

Your way is cruel and I actually think think most Australians would agree.

Its not really how working dogs are. kept anymore unless you're an arse. I go to Siberia when i can and even there they wouldnt dream of treating working dogs like that.

I think a compromise is possible. Our dog (he died a couple of months ago) lived indoors, mostly in the kitchen, and wasn't allowed upstairs, or to sleep in the bedrooms. He was played with, fussed over, and walked daily, but was never taken out in the car just for the sake of it, or taken on family days out, or on holidays with us. Our dog was a much loved member of our family, but he was a pet, not a person, and was treated accordingly.

It seems I've been firmly put in my place, thanks for all the feedback. To clarify a few things if they weren't clear and to give my thoughts on how what i was expecting:

• our dogs didn't sleep outside. They were put in a garage with their beds and blankets as the last thing when we went to bed. The first thing we did when we got up was up let them out of the garage. It was a place to sleep.

• the dog had run of the garden all day, with appropriate shelter for weather

• i didn't know anyone who would keep their dog inside their house during the day if they weren't at home

• this access to garden space therefore offset the need to walk it as much as it seems people do here (that's the thought process, whether that's right it wrong)

• when at home the dog would join us in the house: in the morning before work/school, as soon as we got home, and all weekend

My thoughts then on having a dog here would be about it having the same garden access with appropriate shelter. This would involve access to a utility room or garage that was suitable shelter from the weather, including heating. I would never force a dog to sit in the elements. I understand the weather in the UK is colder and wetter than the UK, but here in the SE it's not that grim. Again my thoughts were this access to garden would offset the need to walk twice a day. I think keeping a dog inside all day is a bit cruel, even if they get two walks a day. This is the whole sticking point with my wife and i, she sees the dog being kept inside and walked twice a day. Butt it seems overwhelmingly that I'm in the wrong if MN is to decide.

The comments about dogs socialising is an education for me. What if you live somewhere where there's no frequency of other dogs on walks?

Anyway, as i said, this has been an education, i came here for feedback and I've certainly received it.

Our dog stays outside when we’re out of the house, I know a few other people who do the same. She’s a big hairy dog who prefers outside and our garden is hemmed in at all sides so theft not an issue. Much preferable to those who leave their dog in a crate when they go out, that gives me the shivers. Our garden is tiny though so definitely doesn’t substitute for walks!

I’m also australian and our dogs lived outside too. They had kennels to sleep in and were perfectly happy. My parents dogs still live outside and are much loved and cared for. The dogs actually sleep out on the lawn even though they have kennels to sleep in. Most people I knew growing up had their dogs outside some did have them inside but that was the minority.

But also walking isn't just about exercise, it's sniffing and stopping boredom and socialising. Stuff the can't get from running around the same garden day in day out.

My sister is English and lives in Australia. She is just about the only person in her neighbourhood - apart from another English person - who walks their dog. When she does she often has other dogs who can get out of their yards come along. They could go for a walk by themselves whenever they wanted but dogs like to walk as a pack.

Once we were going somewhere else for a walk, and a neighbourhood dog was hanging around hopefully but we got in the car and left it behind. We drove 10 minutes, parked and started our walk only to hear scampering paws - the dog had chased the car as it wanted to come along so badly. We had our walk, then drove it home and dropped it off.

Again my thoughts were this access to garden would offset the need to walk twice a day. I think keeping a dog inside all day is a bit cruel, even if they get two walks a day. This is the whole sticking point with my wife and i, she sees the dog being kept inside and walked twice a day. Butt it seems overwhelmingly that I'm in the wrong if MN is to decide.

But why can’t your dog have access to the outside every day by having free run of the garden/utility and also be allowed indoors and have 2 walks a day?

Surely none of it needs to be either/or? You can have both!

Unless you’re saying you both work out of the house FT and you want the dog outside all day when no one is home? In which case it’s not the right time for you to have a dog.

Unless you’re saying you both work out of the house FT and you want the dog outside all day when no one is home? In which case it’s not the right time for you to have a dog.

And if it had a suitable shelter such as a heated garage or utility room, why not?

@Cruddles

Unless you’re saying you both work out of the house FT and you want the dog outside all day when no one is home? In which case it’s not the right time for you to have a dog.

And if it had a suitable shelter such as a heated garage or utility room, why not?

Because dogs are sociable animals and need company. Why bother getting one if its going to send most of its life alone

I live in Australia, and don't recognise this at all (unless it's a rural thing). My dog is definitely an inside, sleeps on bed, dog, as are everyone I know who have dogs (and I meet a lot a the dog parks), other than my next door neighbour who is from Yorkshire, and it's actually quite upsetting listening to the poor thing whimpering and obviously stressed with being left out doors.