What's the funniest way you imply you've put on weight?

[Ivytheterrible1]

My sister describes herself as an upside down space hopper

A friend of mine says she's turned into a lard canoe.

It just sounds all very sad and upsetting to be honest, rather than funny.

Not sure why you'd need to disclose or excuse weight gain (point it out and make 'light's of it before someone else can?) or would want to normalise speaking about yourself or others in such a negative or sizeist way tbh, each to their own. If someone is happy with their size then they would surely not be using language with such negative connotations and would be celebrating their form.

Standards of beauty and misogyny are clearly very deep rooted, which is sad.

@dontgobaconmyheart

It just sounds all very sad and upsetting to be honest, rather than funny.

Not sure why you'd need to disclose or excuse weight gain (point it out and make 'light's of it before someone else can?) or would want to normalise speaking about yourself or others in such a negative or sizeist way tbh, each to their own. If someone is happy with their size then they would surely not be using language with such negative connotations and would be celebrating their form.

Standards of beauty and misogyny are clearly very deep rooted, which is sad.

I think you've got lost - AIBU is that way ⬅️

thank you Fatpats .

Ah well- had a feeling I'd attract that sort of post to be honest.

We have a silly sense of humour in our family perhaps and make light of things. None of us are into body shaming or disliking ourselves but if we put weight on we are mindful of it and try to lose it. Health more than aesthetics.

I sometimes say I look like a snake that swallowed a rat.

My auntie the other day said she looks like a “fucking piggy honk honk”

I don’t know why but I was in bits

I say I got lost on the way to fat club.

I say that I'm storing weight in case I get stranded on a desert island or lost in a really big forest.

I also describe my bingo wings by saying that my ambition is to become a flying squirrel.

Beached whale or seal are often used by dp and by me about both of us sometimes almost always when on a beach and regretting a month or so (18 now) of creeping weight !!
I also sometimes say I am ‘heavy footed’ to mean the same.

I'm preparing to survive the winter.

I'm making my peasant ancestors proud.

Taking inspiration from the Michelin Man.

I've been to pork town.

It's hard to think of examples, they just come out! And basically everyone I know has gained weight in lockdown and has been making fun of themselves no need for the fun police.

Big bum so say I look like a question mark upside down. Tell grandchildren more to cuddle

I seem to be developing a gravitational orbit.

Circumferentially enhanced

Or is it spelt circumferencially enhanced?

Autocorrect doesn't like either but I know what I mean.

Increasing my buoyancy.

My ‘floatation devices’ seem to have increased in size during lockdown. Always used whilst actually swimming.

We describe it as 'too much mummy' to the kids. They described it back as 'snuggly'.

It's my winter coat.

When I was (having a veg out) on the sofa, I’ve been known to say “someone call greenpeace! There’s a stranded whale!” 😂

I'm not overweight, I'm undertall (Garfield)

I'm easier to jump over than ride around

I'm not beanbag chair compatible

I'm well-insulated

I used to be in Pans People, now i'm in the Roly Poly's.

If you're under 40, move on to the next post.

I'm not overweight. I'm too short. My BMI would be fine if I were a foot taller.

I fell down the stairs the other day and my neighbours thought Eastenders was just starting.

cwt that really made me laugh. I have done the same and I could hear it clearly. Hope you are ok. For all the funny it can be awful.

I was built for comfort, not speed.

Short and fat = vertically challenged, horizontally advanced.

Isn't this more about being overweight for your body than gaining weight? Putting on weight can be a positive thing. I've improved my qcovid score, despite being a year older .