Ds wants to join the army

[Mum060708]

Ds is 15 and has been talking about joining the army. Not every single day, but whenever we have any sort of conversation about his future he tentatively mentions the army. So I need to start taking him seriously I think.
But I'm completely of my depth. I don't know anyone who is in the army, apart from compulsory service during the war we don't have anyone in our family, I don't have any friends with army connections, no-one.
How do you even start joining the army? He's clever but lacks confidence. I know you can join the army at 16 or 17 but is it ok for me to say he needs to be 18 and finish school first?
He's quite an anxious person but in many ways I can see that the routine of the army might suit him. If the toughness of it doesn't break him it really might be the making of him.
But I think he's got quite unrealistic expectations too. For example he thinks that when he leaves the army he'll be set for life with a whole world of job opportunities open to him. He hasn't thought about the ex-servicemen who struggle with civilian life when the routine is taken away from them and who can't find jobs or homes. He hasn't thought about the potential to be quite badly injured.
I suspect some of his desire to join the army comes from computer games and war films. But I don't want to just rubbish his ideas, that's not fair. He's always been interested in military history and knows so much. So maybe it would be a good fit for him.
I've looked on the web at the army recruitment page but it's all very glamorous obviously.
Where can I get some better and more realistic information? When is a good time to start encouraging him to speak to someone? Who should he speak to?
Any experiences and pointers welcome, I'm feeling a bit lost.

My school had the option of a work experience scheme that the army ran, it was a good way getting a sense of what the army was looking for.

But I was in a working class Scots area, DH in a middle class London had no contact with the army at all in school.

I was offered a place on a scheme where the army paid for you to go to Uni and you then spent a number of years with them.
DM was absolutely horrified.

I didn't end up accepting it but I thoroughly enjoyed the time I spent on the experience scheme.

There’s so much more to their job than just going to war.

This is very true, but unfortunately going to war and the acceptance that lives may be lost is also very true. I wouldn't be disappointed as such if my children wanted to join, but having lived with the PTSD that 16 years as an infantry officer and three Afghan tours left DH with, I'm not sure I'd be chasing them down to the recruitment office. I'd certainly not encourage the infantry either. Leaving as an officer you're better off, but an infantry soldier doesn't have half the extra skills that the other arms leave with.

However OP, I do agree that the opportunities in the services are unparalleled if taken with both hands. It absolutely is a lifestyle, not a job. Just make sure he's absolutely sure it's what he wants and encourage him to talk to people in the forces as much as possible to get the gritty info and not just the brochure gloss.

This is very true, but unfortunately going to war and the acceptance that lives may be lost is also very true

Absolutely right….

This family can attest to the fact that time in forces can open up to subsequent career paths that might be otherwise unattainable, and I wouldn’t discourage any of my family from joining the services as long as they did their research first.

However I’d certainly caution against anyone thinking that certain branch’s/trades/services are pretty much immune from seeing operations or the consequences….Events in 1982 (I’m that old) brought that fact into sharp focus for quite a few people in all three services who thought they would never be deployed on active service.

@TheFairyCaravan

I take issue with anyone willing to sign on the dotted line to say they would go to war.
I of course appreciate that there is way more to joining the army than fighting and killing but many of us cannot see past the fundamental role of a solider and I would be horrified if my child signed up.

Each to their own I guess.

Mischance there are not regular deaths at brecon. Thsts compmete scaremongering. There have been tragic deaths yes. But certainly not regular.

Dd is 15 almost 16 and for a while now has wanted to be an army officer
We’ve been down the recruitment office who discussed a level choices

She’s training but super fit anyway

She won’t look at cadets at this age it’s really not cool but hardly anyone on army went cadets so don’t let that put him off! I have lots of family who were on the army and none would be seen dead in cadets )their words not mine!)

You tube and the army website is a great start. Instagram is good too as lots of stories on daily and webinars

regular reported deaths of young army recruits because of the brutal approach to training

Bollocks. There have been “up to 20” military deaths on the Brecons since 1984, all soldiers training for SAS selection. Some deaths during official training, some ‘off duty’ whilst training for the training.

Every death is tragic, and the Military is culpable for a number of them, but to phrase them as “young Army recruits” is incorrect and scaremongering.

I work for a military charity so come from a different viewpoint. I would say he needs to get a trade if he does join. Those who struggle on leaving tend to have left unexpectedly eg failing compulsory drug test / becoming injured. Those who struggle the most after leaving didn't gain a trade and then drift about not knowing what to do with themselves.

Has he thought about Network Rail or the NHS for apprenticeships? They both have a huge range of options.

This is very true, but unfortunately going to war and the acceptance that lives may be lost is also very true

Although that, of course, doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be involved in killings. My future DIL deployed this week. She’ll work with a blue helmet as part of UN contingent and be wearing a Red Cross emblem. She’s rather hoping to be saving lives not taking them.

I know 4 boys who joined the army as teens after GCSE. They all went into engineering. Learnt and amazing trade and work ethic. Given skills that they wouldn't be able to do until much older in civilian life like HGV driving.

2 are still doing training and the others walked into high paying jobs in civilian life using those skills working on aircraft and trains. Neither saw active service or any danger.

Oh all 4 were cadets of either army or airforce

@Mum060708

Am I the only one who would be utterly disappointed if my ds (or dd) wanted to join the army?

Not disappointed as such but my gut reaction is not a positive one. I'm not going to say that to him though, I'm trying hard to educate myself and help him make the right decision. (While secretly hoping he decides against it)

I’d suggest navy or RAF careers - less likely to see the more grim and brutal man to man fighting and bombs etc, but rewarding careers.

I had a friend who joined the RAF at 16, trained as a comms engineer from memory and now earns a VERY good salary in civilian life in IT.

I hope all the people who would be horrified at their children joining up never need any support with flood protection, vaccination programmes, strike cover for ambulance or fire services, emergency water supplies supplies. Amd o doubt your happy for the UK not to be involved in any humanitarian response to disaster, for there to be no peace keeping or intelligence effort etc etc. No? Just happy to leave all that to other people's children?

brittleheadgirl

Peace is only made possible when people are willing to fight or die for it. If where you live is suddenly invaded by people who wish to impose their own brutal regime on you then who do you expect to defend you ?

Do you “take issue” with the people in the Afghanistan army who are desperately trying to keep the Taliban back ?

Exactly expressdelivery.

(I posted before I saw ExpressDelivery post, which is more articulate than mine!)

[quote brittleheadgirl]@TheFairyCaravan

I take issue with anyone willing to sign on the dotted line to say they would go to war.
I of course appreciate that there is way more to joining the army than fighting and killing but many of us cannot see past the fundamental role of a solider and I would be horrified if my child signed up.

Each to their own I guess.[/quote]
Where would you and your children be if no one had ever been prepared to fight?

It's a very complex and emotive argument. I used to be an active pacifist before changing my opinion and now being pro-armed forces (although with reservations about when and how they are used) so I see both sides. But I don't think this thread is the place for it. It isn't going to help this mother support her son. I suggest a new thread if people want to hash out the rights and wrongs of military intervention.

Where would you and your children be if no one had ever been prepared to fight?

Luckily for her, for you, and for all of us, we live in a society where we have free choice. There will always be people who are willing to fight, and she is perfectly entitled to say she wouldn't want her children to. (And you can also bet your bottom dollar that a lot of those fighting in the world wars would rather have been anywhere else than there).