Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Found bag of weed in 15 yr olds cupboard. The game is on. WWYD??

104 replies

Mydietstartstomorrow · 06/08/2021 17:45

So I knew he was up to something yesterday. Went to meet a friend (who I know is a bit dodgy) and after I picked him up he came in and went straight to his room. A mum just knows somethings amiss. So when he’s out at work today I have a little scout around, open a cupboard and get a whiff. Found it, taken it. He’s just come in, I’ve acted completely normal (and not like I’m wanting to throttle him) and now he’s up there and I can hear him scurrying around. Is he going to ask me or just panic himself?!
I did know he’d “tried it” about 2 months ago when I picked him up from the park and he was yellow, got him to admit it and he said he’d tried it and it made him feel ill so he’d never do it again. I agreed to not to tell his dad that time (we are not together) if he promised not to ever touch it again.
Dad will literally explode.
Dad has been doing some work in my house today whilst I’ve been out at work so DS is probably shitting himself thinking Dads found it.
How shall I continue to play this?!

OP posts:
LemonSwan · 06/08/2021 17:50

Honestly if you tell him not to do it - hes still going to do it.

I would concentrate on talking about reasonable use - aka not daily, not alone.

Basically in an alcohol comparison - occasional and limited social drinking at events vs everyday habitual drinking.

DonLewis · 06/08/2021 17:53

Put a load of oregano in a bag and put it in his coat pocket? Hell think he's got it, but will know you know when he goes to use it. Then the game is really on. Grin

Or just talk to him about it? Where's he got the money from for it?

maddy68 · 06/08/2021 18:00

I would smoke it. And send him a pic of you smoking his weed. Tell him to be more careful where he stashes next time ;)

Orf1abc · 06/08/2021 18:00

Grow up and stop playing games. Tell him you've found it, talk about the negative consequences that can come from smoking weed. Talk about how many people are exploited in the supply chain.

Or keep playing games and expect no better from your son.

LubaLuca · 06/08/2021 18:03

Don't mess around. If you want to talk to him about it, then get on with it - waiting for him to 'confess' is a loser's game all round.

WorraLiberty · 06/08/2021 18:04

"The game is on"

"How shall I continue to play this?"

You stop playing games and sit him down with your ex and talk to him properly.

Original poster
Mydietstartstomorrow · 06/08/2021 18:10

Of course I’m going to talk to him about it! I’m not going to just let it go. I’ve already spoken to him about the consequences of smoking it, he’s 15, we’ve gone through it all with him many times but he doesn’t listen clearly. I’m just letting him sweat it for a good while which I don’t think will do him any harm
It’s a very small bag, probably about £10 worth I’m not sure

OP posts:
WrenNatsworthy · 06/08/2021 18:12

Tell him you found it.

Have an open and honest conversation with him about drugs.

Is 'Dad' your partner or your Dad?

LordOfTheThings · 06/08/2021 18:20

Tell him you've found it, talk about the negative consequences that can come from smoking weed. Talk about how many people are exploited in the supply chain.

This would be my course of action.

SupermanWithTheGreyHair · 06/08/2021 18:22

I wouldn’t play games about this. I also wouldn’t have taken it from his room. When he finds out you’ve taken it, he’s already going to have his guard up, won’t trust you and will maybe be reluctant to tell the truth. Very bad move I think.

It’s done now though so I’d just talk to him as soon as possible. I don’t like it but do think it’s something most teens do so as a pp said, talk about ‘reasonable’ use.

Hen2018 · 06/08/2021 18:22

Dad will literally explode?

That’ll take more sorting than a bag of weed.

Original poster
Mydietstartstomorrow · 06/08/2021 18:23

Dad is his dad, we haven’t been together for many years but get on. I know I’m going to have to discuss it with his dad but he’s a very difficult character and their relationship is strained anyway and it’s going to be quite explosive I know

OP posts:
Boood · 06/08/2021 18:26

I’d just take it and smoke it. It’ll drive him nuts not knowing for definite where it’s gone, and he can hardly confront you about it.

LordOfTheThings · 06/08/2021 18:30

Well the OP can hardly tell him not to smoke it I'd she smokes this stash herself.

Chibbles · 06/08/2021 18:33

Smoke it yourself and tell him it's not as decent as what we could get in the old days.

He might then think it's less cool.

Original poster
Mydietstartstomorrow · 06/08/2021 18:34

Lord well I kinda can cos I’m a 40-something grown up and he’s a child! But I wouldn’t as I haven’t smoked that stuff in years and would probably throw up!

OP posts:
MajesticWhine · 06/08/2021 18:44

What kind of job does your 15yr old have?
I would throw it away and tell him I had found it, personally. No need for any mystery. If he has income though, it's going to be tricky stopping him from buying more.

maxbabi · 06/08/2021 18:48

My son is 16 and after the year these kids have had a bit of weed is no big deal. His mates meet up and smoke I see nothing wrong with it at all.

Geamhradh · 06/08/2021 18:49

Tell him if his employer finds out he could lose the (summer?) job he's paying for it with. Tell him you thought he was more intelligent than to think weed was cool. Tell him that you're not going to collude with him again seeing as he has walked all over your trust this time. Involve the other parent.

Geamhradh · 06/08/2021 18:50

@maxbabi

My son is 16 and after the year these kids have had a bit of weed is no big deal. His mates meet up and smoke I see nothing wrong with it at all.
Gosh you're so down with the kids. Thankfully none of the 300 I teach have such irresponsible parents.
BrozTito · 06/08/2021 18:51

Weed isnt the casual thing to be joked about anymore, its strength is ridiculous and ive seen so many 15 year olds mentally destroyed by it.

BrozTito · 06/08/2021 18:52

It'l be a big deal when he cant leave the house and thinks everyone wants to harm him, maxbabi

MarianneUnfaithful · 06/08/2021 18:53

I told mine that he was directly part of the system that is the cause of shootings and stabbings where we live in S London. Feeding a system of gang exploitation and the ruining of lives. And asked how that felt given his stance on companies that exploit underpaid labour in developing countries etc.

That made him think.

About cocaine, but Diary of a Drug mule makes good watching too, I think. The drug trade exploits people.

LazyDoll · 06/08/2021 18:59

My mum did this when I was a teenager and got my naval pierced and didn’t tell her.
She found the jewellery in my bedroom and took it from the box I kept it in.
I in turn went into HER room. Found it and took it back.
The matter was never spoken of. We never discussed to this day that I had my naval pierced Hmm

Lotsachocolateplease · 06/08/2021 19:02

I discussed this scenario with my ds’s 14 & 19. Their advice?
Smoke it together and chill Grin