Found bag of weed in 15 yr olds cupboard. The game is on. WWYD??

[Mydietstartstomorrow]

So I knew he was up to something yesterday. Went to meet a friend (who I know is a bit dodgy) and after I picked him up he came in and went straight to his room. A mum just knows somethings amiss. So when he’s out at work today I have a little scout around, open a cupboard and get a whiff. Found it, taken it. He’s just come in, I’ve acted completely normal (and not like I’m wanting to throttle him) and now he’s up there and I can hear him scurrying around. Is he going to ask me or just panic himself?!
I did know he’d “tried it” about 2 months ago when I picked him up from the park and he was yellow, got him to admit it and he said he’d tried it and it made him feel ill so he’d never do it again. I agreed to not to tell his dad that time (we are not together) if he promised not to ever touch it again.
Dad will literally explode.
Dad has been doing some work in my house today whilst I’ve been out at work so DS is probably shitting himself thinking Dads found it.
How shall I continue to play this?!

Its quite serious if he reacts to a batch he could as in really be in grave trouble.
Don't be fooled it can have devastating life changing consequences.
Sit him down with his dad and speak to him frankly.
It really isn't he time for himto get hooked on this.
This is most parents nightmare.

Weed isn't just a gateway drug. It can lead to serious mental disorders. There were a group of girls at my school that were stoners. None of them achieved their potential. I would be horrified if my child was buying drugs of any kind, including weed. My 13 year old told me the other week that her friend (different school, but well regarded, one of the most oversubscribed in my city and felt to be very "middle class") had told her that the majority of her (year 8) class had experimented with some form of drug. No doubt there is some exaggeration but any at that age is terrible. My husband (professional job) works with a lot of 25 year olds. They all do cocaine regularly. We are in the midst of a drugs crisis. It's being normalised and our children are at risk of both becoming addicted but also being drawn into a very dark world in which they are very vulnerable.

Make some delicious brownies 😋

Weed always seems to bring polarised extreme opinions on both 'sides'.

Some teenagers will smoke weed. Forbid it and they'll just go to the park or wherever to smoke.

Yes it can exacerbate mental health problems, but then again it's legal for medicinal use in many countries and recreational in some. It's amazing how many people go on about the effects of weed but happily get drink alcohol!!

Saying that, I would NOT be happy if my teens were smoking it every day. AFAIK they don't at all and never have, they would tell me because they've known for a while I smoke. I've explained to them that there is the risk of it causing issues and for some young people daily constant weed use makes them lazy and not fulfil their potential. I've also explained that it's best not to use any drugs at all (including alcohol), because they do have effects on your dopamine - it's more difficult to feel 'unadulterated' fun or happiness once you start regularly or even semi regularly consuming alcohol or drugs.

I have smoked weed around twice a week (except when pregnant or bf) since I was 16. Had a year or so off at times. Has done me no harm and in fact helps chronic pain. I work ft and am otherwise a fully law abiding citizen. Many, many others like me.

@beforesunsetorsunrise

Weed always seems to bring polarised extreme opinions on both 'sides'.

Some teenagers will smoke weed. Forbid it and they'll just go to the park or wherever to smoke.

Yes it can exacerbate mental health problems, but then again it's legal for medicinal use in many countries and recreational in some. It's amazing how many people go on about the effects of weed but happily get drink alcohol!!

Saying that, I would NOT be happy if my teens were smoking it every day. AFAIK they don't at all and never have, they would tell me because they've known for a while I smoke. I've explained to them that there is the risk of it causing issues and for some young people daily constant weed use makes them lazy and not fulfil their potential. I've also explained that it's best not to use any drugs at all (including alcohol), because they do have effects on your dopamine - it's more difficult to feel 'unadulterated' fun or happiness once you start regularly or even semi regularly consuming alcohol or drugs.

I have smoked weed around twice a week (except when pregnant or bf) since I was 16. Had a year or so off at times. Has done me no harm and in fact helps chronic pain. I work ft and am otherwise a fully law abiding citizen. Many, many others like me.

And many many many thousands of children trafficked into the UK and sold into slavery to subsidise your habit. How can you live with yourself?

@54321nought
I live with myself very well thanks. I get it from a clinic the legal way, but it's expensive and that is unfair. If people would get behind legalisation for recreational use and medicinal use was made less expensive to access then the trafficking you talk of / seem to know all about would seriously dry up. It's prohibition which drives any trafficking.

Many, many, many thousands of children? Any source for this?

[quote beforesunsetorsunrise]@54321nought
I live with myself very well thanks. I get it from a clinic the legal way, but it's expensive and that is unfair. If people would get behind legalisation for recreational use and medicinal use was made less expensive to access then the trafficking you talk of / seem to know all about would seriously dry up. It's prohibition which drives any trafficking.[/quote]
no, legalisiation would make trafficking far worse.

@beforesunsetorsunrise

Many, many, many thousands of children? Any source for this?

It is widely known and well documented, you can find many sources for yourself. These facts are not in dispute

Ok then

@beforesunsetorsunrise

Ok then

Of course some people will prefer to pretend this is not happening, so they don't have to think about it, and their contribution to the terrible suffering of these children.

Does that include you?

It’s ‘unfair’ that weed is expensive? How?

Some people grow their own.

In places (the USA for example), where it is legal, it is home grown. Nobody is 'trafficked'.

Tell him you've posted it through the police station door and if he wants it back he can go there and ask for it.

My 20yo is a weed smoker and has been since he was 14. He was (is) an intelligent boy on track for 7 grade 7+ GCSEs until he started smoking weed. Nothing would stop him at that age. When he was 15 he was told he owed a local dealer a few hundred quid for his "free" weed and asked to do deliveries round town, and further afield (took a heavy, wrapped package that he thought had something metallic inside to Manchester). Eventually the penny dropped and he stopped doing the running. Just didn't turn up and they didn't know where they lived.

While all this was going on I had access to his phone and screen shotted every message. I passed it all to the police on a weekly basis, plus anecdotal material that he told me, and they used it with other intelligence they had to build a case and bust 2 local dealers. He was never named and never gave evidence or a statement, the messages alone were enough.

I got social care involved but they weren't great, TBH, although they did offer respite.

There is a whole lot more that happened - his behaviour at home got violent due to being unable to handle the drugs he was taking and he was placed in voluntary social care for 4 months for the safety of the rest of us. He was permanently excluded from school and only sat 2 GCSEs, both of which he passed but well below the grades he should have got. He's only recently picked up the threads of his education and is looking at an Access to HE course, but still only has his 2 GCSEs.

He still smokes weed but can manage it with a normal life. He has managed to get a decent job and a much better mindset. I'm waiting for him to get fed up of the weed, which he's showing signs of, but it's been a long road and it's had an effect on the lives of everyone else in this family, with two younger brothers having to see police coming to our house multiple times when he attacked me in a weed-induced paranoid rage, having their birthday and pocket money stolen to buy his weed, and listening to him cough and gag when smoking bongs in the middle of the night in the garden.

So those of you who bleat about it being harmless can fuck off to the far side of your your happy little hippy world and fuck off some more when you get there.

Sorry, there were paragraphs aplenty in there but the android app's taken them out.

@Plumtree391

Some people grow their own.

In places (the USA for example), where it is legal, it is home grown. Nobody is 'trafficked'.

I know nothing about the USA cannabis industry.

I know about the UK cannabis industry, which is slave based, and cheap, because no wages are paid, and in the event of cannabis becoming legalised, the slave based factories will have a huge competitive advantage, and will be very much protected from police investigations by obfuscating sources. Business will boom, and the numbers of children trafficked into slavery in the UK will increase.

Meanwhile, while it isn't legal, the whole industry is staffed by thousands of child slaves, who have no access to education, a decent diet or medical care.

This is what you are supporting when you buy cannabis

@HarrietSchulenberg

Tell him you've posted it through the police station door and if he wants it back he can go there and ask for it.

My 20yo is a weed smoker and has been since he was 14. He was (is) an intelligent boy on track for 7 grade 7+ GCSEs until he started smoking weed. Nothing would stop him at that age. When he was 15 he was told he owed a local dealer a few hundred quid for his "free" weed and asked to do deliveries round town, and further afield (took a heavy, wrapped package that he thought had something metallic inside to Manchester). Eventually the penny dropped and he stopped doing the running. Just didn't turn up and they didn't know where they lived.

While all this was going on I had access to his phone and screen shotted every message. I passed it all to the police on a weekly basis, plus anecdotal material that he told me, and they used it with other intelligence they had to build a case and bust 2 local dealers. He was never named and never gave evidence or a statement, the messages alone were enough.

I got social care involved but they weren't great, TBH, although they did offer respite.

There is a whole lot more that happened - his behaviour at home got violent due to being unable to handle the drugs he was taking and he was placed in voluntary social care for 4 months for the safety of the rest of us. He was permanently excluded from school and only sat 2 GCSEs, both of which he passed but well below the grades he should have got. He's only recently picked up the threads of his education and is looking at an Access to HE course, but still only has his 2 GCSEs.

He still smokes weed but can manage it with a normal life. He has managed to get a decent job and a much better mindset. I'm waiting for him to get fed up of the weed, which he's showing signs of, but it's been a long road and it's had an effect on the lives of everyone else in this family, with two younger brothers having to see police coming to our house multiple times when he attacked me in a weed-induced paranoid rage, having their birthday and pocket money stolen to buy his weed, and listening to him cough and gag when smoking bongs in the middle of the night in the garden.

So those of you who bleat about it being harmless can fuck off to the far side of your your happy little hippy world and fuck off some more when you get there.

So sorry you have been through this. It is horrendous BUT you are actually incredibly lucky. I am sure you don't feel lucky at all, but that little phrase "they didn't know where he lived" ( and they didn't find out)

that is the difference between your family having to flee from your home, your child being stabbed, (or worse), your child being in the clutch of the drug dealers and forced to commit violent crime under threat of you or his brothers being raped/ badly hurt/knifed/ burnt, having the house burnt down with you all inside it, your child being in prison...

and you merely having a child who became violent towards you and dropped out of education and destroyed his health.

I know you already know you are lucky, I am just spelling it out for the happy hippies on here.

I know nothing about the USA cannabis industry.

I know about the UK cannabis industry, which is slave based, and cheap, because no wages are paid, and in the event of cannabis becoming legalised, the slave based factories will have a huge competitive advantage, and will be very much protected from police investigations by obfuscating sources. Business will boom, and the numbers of children trafficked into slavery in the UK will increase.

Meanwhile, while it isn't legal, the whole industry is staffed by thousands of child slaves, who have no access to education, a decent diet or medical care.

This is what you are supporting when you buy cannabis

Thanks @54321nought, I for one was not aware of this. Do you have any links or basis for this?

54321nought it did help that I knew who the local dealers were (everyone does) and they were both sad little shit-sacks who were likely being used themselves by the next rung up. Honestly, if they'd have arrived at my door themselves I could have taken them with one hand and my frying pan, and the men on the next rung up would have toasted them before us. I also had a marker on the house for 999 purposes.

I googled, "is the uk cannabis industry fuelled by slavery?", and several links came up, many with quite recent dates.

It's worth looking at them.

@maxbabi

My son is 16 and after the year these kids have had a bit of weed is no big deal. His mates meet up and smoke I see nothing wrong with it at all.

So cool

if his dad is likely to "explode" and things are already difficult and strained, then I really wouldnt put an extra nail in the coffin over this.
You dont have to get him involved

@Branleuse

if his dad is likely to "explode" and things are already difficult and strained, then I really wouldnt put an extra nail in the coffin over this. You dont have to get him involved

He is his dad and it's not her place to withhold information like this from him.

Its got nothing to do with the father. If I thought my kids dad would explode and something ruin their relationship, i would be very careful what I told him.
Cant see any benefit to him knowing

I agree, Branleuse. It's a breach of confidence as much as anything else.

If cannabis growing was legal here, it would be regulated and employees would have statutory rights. As it is, unless a smoker knows someone who grows a small-ish amount for personal and friends' use, there will be exploitation involved.