Found bag of weed in 15 yr olds cupboard. The game is on. WWYD??

[Mydietstartstomorrow]

So I knew he was up to something yesterday. Went to meet a friend (who I know is a bit dodgy) and after I picked him up he came in and went straight to his room. A mum just knows somethings amiss. So when he’s out at work today I have a little scout around, open a cupboard and get a whiff. Found it, taken it. He’s just come in, I’ve acted completely normal (and not like I’m wanting to throttle him) and now he’s up there and I can hear him scurrying around. Is he going to ask me or just panic himself?!
I did know he’d “tried it” about 2 months ago when I picked him up from the park and he was yellow, got him to admit it and he said he’d tried it and it made him feel ill so he’d never do it again. I agreed to not to tell his dad that time (we are not together) if he promised not to ever touch it again.
Dad will literally explode.
Dad has been doing some work in my house today whilst I’ve been out at work so DS is probably shitting himself thinking Dads found it.
How shall I continue to play this?!

@maxbabi, how many teenagers have your tried to coax through their GCSE exams with knife wounds in their thighs?

It hurts them a lot. You don't care anything for the suffering of vietnamese children, probably within 20 miles of you. Do you care about the British children stabbed in the thighs?

I know four twenty something men ,currently in the prison system, who have been charged with attempted murder or murder because of cannabis induced psychosis. I will never think that occasional cannabis use is ok.

I can’t believe some people think teenagers smoking weed is ‘no big deal.’ Other then the people being exploited literally all across the world, it has been linked to mental illness and serious health problems. In my personal experience most people who smoke it suffer in some way or another.

I would be really upset but your son already has the weed and presumably won’t stop smoking it if you’ve already talked to him. I’d sit him down and lay it all out on the table then hope he makes the right choice from there, I think at this age there’s not much more you can do.

@maxbabi

do you even care about your own child? He is certainly lowering his IQ. Does that matter to you in any way?

How would you feel about a knife in his thigh? Which may or may not hit an artery? because the people he is dealing with do this .

Does he play football? because he won't be able to with an ankle tag. Are you ok with that?

And how about his prospects? They sink a little bit more with every puff. But this is all pearl clutching on a high horse?

I just wish I could make you see, I just wish I could show you the children I know, and what has happened to them. I just feel so sad for your son

@54321nought am with you. People espousing liberalism do so from a position of ignorance as to the effects of supply/producing on workers in illegal trades. It's not a laugh.

Also there can be severe psychological effects from weed even smoked at non dependent levels. Much more common than your average pretty white person would think.

OP I'd just have a frank conversation about the global reach and effects of drug supply and also of the potentially devastating consequences of ingesting an untested unregulated substance and give those two aspects as your reason why you wouldn't allow this crap in your house.

Call the police.
Now.

Report your fifteen year old. This is not funny.

Weed comes from suppliers. And suppliers are dangerous people.

You are minimising this as a parent and putting other people in danger.

Get the police to come round and give your kid a scare.

Sounds like they need it (and so does your DH)

With stuff like county lines shit going round it is not frivolous mater anymore, if it ever was.

[quote 54321nought]@maxbabi

do you even care about your own child? He is certainly lowering his IQ. Does that matter to you in any way?

How would you feel about a knife in his thigh? Which may or may not hit an artery? because the people he is dealing with do this .

Does he play football? because he won't be able to with an ankle tag. Are you ok with that?

And how about his prospects? They sink a little bit more with every puff. But this is all pearl clutching on a high horse?

I just wish I could make you see, I just wish I could show you the children I know, and what has happened to them. I just feel so sad for your son[/quote]
This.

[quote PlasticEgg]@54321nought am with you. People espousing liberalism do so from a position of ignorance as to the effects of supply/producing on workers in illegal trades. It's not a laugh.

Also there can be severe psychological effects from weed even smoked at non dependent levels. Much more common than your average pretty white person would think.

OP I'd just have a frank conversation about the global reach and effects of drug supply and also of the potentially devastating consequences of ingesting an untested unregulated substance and give those two aspects as your reason why you wouldn't allow this crap in your house.[/quote]
And this.

@maxbabi

Privileged sausage yep thats me pmsl

Yes, you are. But you crack on being oh so cool, and ignore all the boring old farts who are working at the sharp end of the drugs trade.

@maxbabi

Really have to laugh at the pearl clutching going on here. Its hilarious I would rather my son smoked the odd spliff and to the teacher.....you should see what shit teachers buy and stick up their noses!!! But thats ok right? I wouldn't want a teacher teach my kids that did hard core drugs.....but they do! Weed is not a gateway drug. Lol crack on ladies

Well, it's certainly pretty obvious you haven't had much of an education yourself. Your ignorance is quite shocking.

Follow the lost soldier on tiktok. Think about getting your son to watch him too.

He left the army, took ecstasy, ended up dealing coke and a long prison sentence. Out now, he talks a lot of sense. His main message is don't do drugs, but he comes at it with experience and facts.

@maxbabi

My son is 16 and after the year these kids have had a bit of weed is no big deal. His mates meet up and smoke I see nothing wrong with it at all.

There is. You need to understand the damage it can do to their brains. You have no idea if your son or one of his friends will suffer psychosis now or later. I've a family member whose life was ruined, literally ruined by the effect weed had on his mental health as a late teen.

Been there done all this. My partner was always with me on this. It escalated to a very serious level. Took 15 years and a lot of heartbreak in between. Tackle it now together.

@LemonSwan

Honestly if you tell him not to do it - hes still going to do it.

I would concentrate on talking about reasonable use - aka not daily, not alone.

Basically in an alcohol comparison - occasional and limited social drinking at events vs everyday habitual drinking.

I agree with LemonSwan.

Your post reminded me of when my son and a friend first smoked it, they were going on 15. IThey were upstairs in his bedroom and I could smell it so went in and confiscated it.

What I did with it I will not disclose .

There needs to be a middle ground.

Yes, it is an awful, awful trade and educating him on that with a documentary is worthwhile BUT you don't want to alienate him.

He is not the one stabbing boys in the legs, he is your son, and to support him effectively you need to show him he can trust you. Going overboard will further push him towards this friend and the drugs.

Hard to strike the balance but they are prime selfishness at that age, and I doubt Vietnamese kids will do much to sway him from the peer pressure, so focus on the effects it could have on HIM and HIS health.

Teenage brains aren't fully developed, you can't appeal to him as though he is an adult yet, there is still a maturity deficit. I would possibly speak to the school about the other kid, out of concern so it could be raised with his parents too.

To the posters that say weed is a gateway drug.it can be but it doesn't have to be to fuck your mental health up.it can do that all by itself.
When we were teenagers, the group of us would drink every weekend and have the odd spliff or harder drugs like ecstasy or amphetamines.
Apart from one lad who only smoked weed nothing else. Well turns out he was the one who's life it affected in the longterm.
He became addicted and later started hallucinationing.this got so bad that he spent time in mental health units..he now relies on his parents for everything, he can't function in the world alone.
And these are the same parents who thought it was OK as it was just a bit of weed.

@MUM2TJ I honestly don't know why there isn't more awareness about it, it's awful for your mental health. Maybe a Hollyoakes storyline

Tell him about the people who have had their doors smashed in & who have been terrorised by drug dealers who have gone to the wrong address to collect a crop of weed grown in a house nearby. Make him speak to a drug counsellor who would tell him about the psychosis linked to cannabis use. I would throttle ds if I found any drugs on him, I hope he is sensible enough to never consider using drugs.

@BrozTito

Weed isnt the casual thing to be joked about anymore, its strength is ridiculous and ive seen so many 15 year olds mentally destroyed by it.

This.

It's not weed, it's marajuana and it'll blow your head off.
I can smell it coming from the kids swings 100yds away.
It's nothing like it was 20yrs ago.

He needs to know what being stoned does to his every day - does he want to do fuck all all day? it's understandable at the moment - with these shitty coercions that are nothing to do with health hanging over them, but OP, their time is different to how ours was as a youth. Just be straight with him about it all.

Talk to him about how you are going to tell his dad - be his confidente otherwise he'll stop telling you stuff.

Dad will literally explode.

How shall I continue to play this?!

Do not tell his father. It will get very messy.

Pedantic Muriel xx

@MurielSpriggs

Dad will literally explode.

How shall I continue to play this?!

Do not tell his father. It will get very messy.

Pedantic Muriel xx

@maxbabi

Really have to laugh at the pearl clutching going on here. Its hilarious I would rather my son smoked the odd spliff and to the teacher.....you should see what shit teachers buy and stick up their noses!!! But thats ok right? I wouldn't want a teacher teach my kids that did hard core drugs.....but they do! Weed is not a gateway drug. Lol crack on ladies

And who exactly are all of these teachers sticking stuff up their noses? Or have you just pulled that out of your arse?

BrozTito
Weed isnt the casual thing to be joked about anymore, its strength is ridiculous and ive seen so many 15 year olds mentally destroyed by it.

I know lots of people on here don't see an issue with weed but my wonderful son went through a horrendous time after a reaction to it. The effect on his mental health was terrifying and he was referred to the crisis team. They told me that they see it all the time.

Difficult one. Fine to go with the harsh line about effects of the drug trade but a pp said it might not matter to a teen.

I know too many people who let it hamper their younger lives. Doing bog all but smoking. Some whilst holding down a good job so it works out for them. Others who kick back too much and get nowhere. This is bad enough in your 20s but could be catastrophic to a teen trying to do gcses and a levels.

I also saw the effects of psychosis. Skunk existed back in the 00s. Uni friends who either let it get to them and they dropped out. Or the former friend of dh who we know from Facebook now, definitely did too many drugs, but I can't swear it was the dope that ruined him, but he did trash an otherwise promising career.

My ex got to the point of serious dope addiction, got himself into a lot of debt and dropped out. Definitely made his 20s harder than they needed to be.

It's not harmless. You can't hide it from his dad either. So best trying to be good cop and talk to your dsso he continues to trustyou. Sounds like the dad will bollocking him anyway. Agreewiththe dad into let on it was you that found it. Best if he thinks it was dad then you can play good cop bad cop. Better he trustsyou as you can be alert for more of the same.

Grounding him and a ban on spending time with the dodgy mate could help?

These kinds of threads disgust me. All the people including the OP treating it like a game with the stupid suggestions of smoking it with him or sending photos of his mum smoking it

Putting aside the drug industry and risks of mental illness (mad to have to type that), my immediate thought would be that he is in an important school year and cannabis is incredibly demotivating.

I'd sit him down with his dad in your shoes.