I really don't need a male, 24-year-old sports coach mansplaining exercise and weight loss to perimenopausal women, thank you very much

[Annoyance]

That is all.

He's not anyone I work with, just someone I got into a conversation with and he started giving me unsolicited "advice".

Just fuck off.

[Sparklfairy]

I'll just leave this here...

[gardeninggirl68]

@Bouncealot

What do you call younger women that do this? Friend 10 years younger than me had first hot flush and is advising me on HRT, diet and exercise regime. I’m 2 years post meno now, did what suited me at the time, thank you v much, and feel fab

I'm sure there's a name somewhere for that too

[Wtfdoipick]

CitrusIceCream

Doesn't unsolicited advice come under the explaining with no indication that any is needed? So does come under the definition of mansplaining.

It wouldn't matter if it was Joe wicks giving the advice, it's still not welcome when it hasn't been requested. This isn't about someone knowing more it's about someone feeling it was their place to explain when it wasn't requested

[C8H10N4O2]

It’s not meant to refer to a qualified sports coach offering fitness (or whatever) to someone who isn’t a qualified sports coach.

It certainly is mansplaining when its unsolicited, the man is a wannabe, he has no idea what qualifications or experience the woman has but has simply assumed that he knows more.

[lljkk]

come on OP, if you really want to stoke the resentment bots you need to give some context.

Unsolicited advice... was it a random fellow in the swimming pool? On the street? At the gym or running club? Did he announce his opinions out of nowhere into silence or did he intrude on your conversation with someone else who wasn't asking for advice, either.

[Saidtoomuch]

Ha ha, good one @Sparklfairy

[Nietzschethehiker]

I'm fully aware that I may get heat for this (I also do not care) but in fairness a quick read of the OP is likely to prompt other peri menopausal women (I am very much included here ) into contributing possibly in a larger scale in one place than other threads where you might get one or two of us , maybe ten at a push .

Hence the above thread which is a group of us descending into differing levels of snark , sarcasm , point scoring and rage.

The level of exhausted menopausal pettiness and rage is something I'm rather proud of here. If ever there was a clear example of why he shouldn't have tried it with the OP it is the evidence here that he took his life into his hands doing so.

Mansplainers are unbelievably annoying and it is guaranteed it is always the tone and behaviour connected that makes it mansplaining and not advice (and perfectly capable of being condescending whatever their age).

Yes more or less everyone here is being uneccesarily argumentative and difficult. The only reason I'm not is that I've just had a fried egg sandwich so have achieved 15 minute relief from being snappy, growly and fed up of the world. Don't worry I'll be back to it in a bit.

If ever there was a thread proving that any world conflict currently just needs to send in the menopausal and peri menopausal women of this country and we would shut it down in half an hour through sheer rage and fear inducing snapping and glaring it is this one. Then we would need a nap. And food ( maybe not as DP just cowered slightly when I though he had eaten the last of the rolls....food is a dangerous subject currently in my house ).

Just in case there are any outraged responses to anything I have said in this please be assured, from the bottom of my heart, again I don't care.

[gardeninggirl68]

Op knows his age so doubt it was a randomer on the street

[Qwerty789]

Just to be on the safe side only take advice from those that have been through it personally

Well thats epically bad advice

[Hugoslavia]

If white women (collectively), didnt feel the need to speak to black men as if they know nothing, then we wouldnt need the terminology for it.

But do white women do this collectively? The Karen term emerged based upon one incident that became public and has since broadened as a way to silence women generally, but particularly white middle aged women. Whereas Mansplaining is pretty universal and the term did not arise from a single incident. I would argue that mansplaining is far more widespread and that the term aimed at silencing mansplainers (that's not possible), but of trying to remind them that the woman that they are offering their wisdom too, may well be equally or better qualified.

[Hugoslavia]

Incidentally, is there a term for white men collectively talking down to black women? Because it seems to me that women always get the raw end of the deal here.

[Congressdingo]

@alloalloallo

How did the conversation come up?

I remember when I started cycling to work, I’d be minding my own business when the office MAMILs felt the need to come and tell me how I was doing it all wrong, my bike was wrong, my clothes were wrong, my cheese and pickle sandwich at lunch was wrong, I needed to join a spin class, etc, etc. I’d never improve my times if I didn’t do X Y Z

Used to drive me nuts.

Oh christ I get you.
I had this so much I quit cycling to work, well quit altogether actually.
So bloody frustrating that I was told and shown where to put my feet on the pedals and I'd be quicker if I did x and y blah fucking blah.
I got fucked off with explaining a billion trillion times that I was just aiming to get to work and home quicker than walking. I was not about to train for the Olympics or TdF.
I just wanted a pretty cycle ride along the canal, better than the bus, quicker than walking etc etc. But no I MUST try harder, go faster, beat my times and speed.
Oh just fuck off you tossers.

[eightyfourandahalf]

Would a 30 year old female be allowed to give advice, or would she be "youngsplaining" as she wouldn't have experienced peri-menopause either?

[BoredZelda]

No, that wasn't the advice.

And it wouldn’t be the best advice anyway.

[MangoBiscuit]

I'm not perimenopausal (yet) but I used to get this shit a lot. Especially in mainstream gyms, or in social settings when lifting and training come up in conversation. If you feel you have you advice that might really benefit me, by all means ask if I'd like to hear it. If you have the respect to do that, then chances are I'll hear you out, even if I'm not in the mood.

But all the young men, and they have ALL been young men, who think they should comment on my squat form, or give me bullshit diet tips, or that one dickhead who thought he'd "help" by grabbing my bar mid bench press , can all FTFO!

[TwoFriedEggs]

@Nietzschethehiker

I'm fully aware that I may get heat for this (I also do not care) but in fairness a quick read of the OP is likely to prompt other peri menopausal women (I am very much included here ) into contributing possibly in a larger scale in one place than other threads where you might get one or two of us , maybe ten at a push .

Hence the above thread which is a group of us descending into differing levels of snark , sarcasm , point scoring and rage.

The level of exhausted menopausal pettiness and rage is something I'm rather proud of here. If ever there was a clear example of why he shouldn't have tried it with the OP it is the evidence here that he took his life into his hands doing so.

Mansplainers are unbelievably annoying and it is guaranteed it is always the tone and behaviour connected that makes it mansplaining and not advice (and perfectly capable of being condescending whatever their age).

Yes more or less everyone here is being uneccesarily argumentative and difficult. The only reason I'm not is that I've just had a fried egg sandwich so have achieved 15 minute relief from being snappy, growly and fed up of the world. Don't worry I'll be back to it in a bit.

If ever there was a thread proving that any world conflict currently just needs to send in the menopausal and peri menopausal women of this country and we would shut it down in half an hour through sheer rage and fear inducing snapping and glaring it is this one. Then we would need a nap. And food ( maybe not as DP just cowered slightly when I though he had eaten the last of the rolls....food is a dangerous subject currently in my house ).

Just in case there are any outraged responses to anything I have said in this please be assured, from the bottom of my heart, again I don't care.

[picklemewalnuts]

@Nietzschethehiker

I'm fully aware that I may get heat for this (I also do not care) but in fairness a quick read of the OP is likely to prompt other peri menopausal women (I am very much included here ) into contributing possibly in a larger scale in one place than other threads where you might get one or two of us , maybe ten at a push .

Hence the above thread which is a group of us descending into differing levels of snark , sarcasm , point scoring and rage.

The level of exhausted menopausal pettiness and rage is something I'm rather proud of here. If ever there was a clear example of why he shouldn't have tried it with the OP it is the evidence here that he took his life into his hands doing so.

Mansplainers are unbelievably annoying and it is guaranteed it is always the tone and behaviour connected that makes it mansplaining and not advice (and perfectly capable of being condescending whatever their age).

Yes more or less everyone here is being uneccesarily argumentative and difficult. The only reason I'm not is that I've just had a fried egg sandwich so have achieved 15 minute relief from being snappy, growly and fed up of the world. Don't worry I'll be back to it in a bit.

If ever there was a thread proving that any world conflict currently just needs to send in the menopausal and peri menopausal women of this country and we would shut it down in half an hour through sheer rage and fear inducing snapping and glaring it is this one. Then we would need a nap. And food ( maybe not as DP just cowered slightly when I though he had eaten the last of the rolls....food is a dangerous subject currently in my house ).

Just in case there are any outraged responses to anything I have said in this please be assured, from the bottom of my heart, again I don't care.

Gosh, excellent summary!

[Monestera]

OP YANBU and you could be me.

I had a man take me (the only woman in the weights section and about about twice his age) aside to tell me how I was lifting wrong. I believe he was well-meaning, but he wasn't taking in account the fact that I have to make adjustments for the equipment being a bit too high for me. Secondly, I was the only one he went up to, despite the fact that there were two men with arguably very poor form also lifting.

I gave him short shrift when I realised what was happening, but I still felt humiliated and frustrated.

[Ihopeyourcakeisshit]

@Nietzschethehiker

I'm fully aware that I may get heat for this (I also do not care) but in fairness a quick read of the OP is likely to prompt other peri menopausal women (I am very much included here ) into contributing possibly in a larger scale in one place than other threads where you might get one or two of us , maybe ten at a push .

Hence the above thread which is a group of us descending into differing levels of snark , sarcasm , point scoring and rage.

The level of exhausted menopausal pettiness and rage is something I'm rather proud of here. If ever there was a clear example of why he shouldn't have tried it with the OP it is the evidence here that he took his life into his hands doing so.

Mansplainers are unbelievably annoying and it is guaranteed it is always the tone and behaviour connected that makes it mansplaining and not advice (and perfectly capable of being condescending whatever their age).

Yes more or less everyone here is being uneccesarily argumentative and difficult. The only reason I'm not is that I've just had a fried egg sandwich so have achieved 15 minute relief from being snappy, growly and fed up of the world. Don't worry I'll be back to it in a bit.

If ever there was a thread proving that any world conflict currently just needs to send in the menopausal and peri menopausal women of this country and we would shut it down in half an hour through sheer rage and fear inducing snapping and glaring it is this one. Then we would need a nap. And food ( maybe not as DP just cowered slightly when I though he had eaten the last of the rolls....food is a dangerous subject currently in my house ).

Just in case there are any outraged responses to anything I have said in this please be assured, from the bottom of my heart, again I don't care.

This is post of the day for me

[Skybluepinkgiraffe]

@Sparklfairy

I'll just leave this here...

I am laughing too hard at that. Might wet my menopausal knickers (the shame!)

[Skybluepinkgiraffe]

Fabulous post @Nietzschethehiker

[Greystray]

If the advice was to move more and eat less it was probably good advice.

Oh dear...

[Allycott]

This is an attention seeking thread. Either that or she didn't like the truth.

[PrincessNutella]

Op, yes.

[AlbertBridge]

Okdoke. Do you have a question?

This isn't Question Time. It's Chat.

You sound like a customer service employee who's forgotten they're off duty.