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Original poster

Becoming a monk or nun in a silent order

114 replies

Serenissima21 · 31/07/2021 18:54

Today I visited a monastery. Each monk has his own cell which is a bedroom, tiny study, chapel and vegetable garden. It is a silent order. The monks spend most of their time in their cells but eat and worship together- in silence.

I've always thought it sounded appealing but today I'm not so sure. Im not sure what the upsides are - I guess lockdown was easy? They have no tv or internet obviously and we didn't meet any as they don't come out when there are visitors.

My friend's sister became a nun in a stricter, closed order. She's not allowed out unless she leaves completely but she says she's never been happier.

I don't know what the point of this post is but just wondered if anyone here has ever contemplated (or experienced) a monastic life.

OP posts:

Adarajames · 03/08/2021 03:49

As a teen I found religion and rather fancied life in a Convent, then I lost religion and found women and realised it was the wrong fit entirely! .

I do really like the idea of living in community though, I was looking at living somewhere like Camphill or similar after uni, inside I became long term sick and disabled and so rather more insular than is probably good for me, and no longer an attractive proposition for any sort of community, religious, silent or otherwise

ShippingNews · 03/08/2021 04:27

@Serenissima21

Parlour, not parkour! The Poor Clares do not leap about through urban spaces!

This did make me think though - it's such a sedentary life. I wonder if it is healthy.

Those enclosed convents are usually self-supporting, the nuns do everything. Running the farm, planting and harvesting crops, baking and cleaning, sewing clothes. Running businesses , like sweet making or bread making . I saw one where they make coffins which are highly prized . They are definitely not sedentary .And then seven times a day they troop off to the chapel and back for prayers. They all look pretty healthy and seem to live long lives.

youshallnotpass9 · 03/08/2021 04:31

Couldn't be a nun, massive fantasies about being a Hermit.

Anyone who knows anything about being a Hermit, please don't tell me, I want to live in the fantasy I have created.

Also, not sure of the rules now, but I am sure you could become a nun at any age at one point, even if you were widowed? I will have to find it but I am sure it was one way women use to get away from being married off again when they were widowed young

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Philosophy & religion

ElGuardiandenoche · 03/08/2021 12:51

@YetAnotherSpartacus

The snag of course with actual convent life is that you might find yourself in a convent of fewer than ten nuns with Sr Slow Booming Voice across from you at recreation/ beside you in chapel until one of you dies

The chattering order of St Beryl.

God bless Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman 💜

airforsharon · 07/08/2021 15:31

I buy soap, hand cream etc from the Carmelite nuns at Quidenham. They make the BEST soap.

airforsharon · 07/08/2021 15:36

@youshallnotpass9 i think the max age these days is 50/55 for many orders, because members need to be fit & active to work within the community.

VeganVeal · 07/08/2021 16:24

I did a sponsored silence at school once so have some idea what it would be like

KittenKong · 07/08/2021 16:41

I remember it being an option for our brownies as a sponsored thing. I couldn’t understand why everyone had hysterics when I asked them to sponsor me.

SoloISland · 06/09/2021 21:39

The thread caught my eye. I am a Monastic Nun living within an Order as a Solitary ie a hermit on a small island off the West Coast of Ireland. The thread is fascinating.

Adarajames · 06/09/2021 21:58

You are allowed to have internet? I thought maybe was only for convent business related reasons, or is that only the silent orders?
Your life sounds fascinating, would you mind telling us a bit more about it all?

Solasum · 06/09/2021 22:05

@SoloISland I would be fascinated to hear what the structure of your days looks like, if you don’t mind sharing? And a question, have you ever had any doubts about your faith? And will you stay where you are all your life?

SoloISland · 07/09/2021 09:51

Thank you for your post.

Most important. No , never a moment of doubt. When hard things have happened in my life, as they do to everyone, people say, how can you trust God when this has happened, and I reply... That was people doing that. God helped me bear it. Held me.
NB I am nearing eighty years old now.
One of the holiest Sisters I knew? She said, I believe in God although I am seldom aware of His presence. That is faith; trusting, giving all, asking little.

As for staying here? That is not up to me as, like all Nuns, I am in Holy Obedience to our Mother Abbess. This place is rented as we are an Order that owns no property . As far as I know, yes, I will be here long term

Oh you mean would I leave the Order? No. Simply no. I know that folk do and personally know two couples ex- nun and ex-priest. Anathema. Life Vows are for Life. They should not be taken lightly. It takes nine years of training/.formation for a man to become a priest and almost the same to take Life Vows as a Nun. Time to know and be aware and stand firm.

The day; starts early as I call Canada many days. ie around three am. I have the same tasks as everyone else of course. A prayerful walk to the shore at first light which of course varies with the seasons. This place is so peaceful. Working here at whatever needs doing; I knit for sale to support the active work the Order does eg rescuing abandoned babies in India. Caring for the rescue cats who live here. Seven of them now...There is no need for a strict schedule as I am alone, and Prayer underpins every hour. I close down around four pm for the night.

Word prayer is the least and least important form of prayer. Prayer is how we live.

Yes internet. No TV or radio and I only turn the phone on for essential calls ….
And of course the internet for prayer, needs and to keep in touch with my Order . And to keep in touch with the world for prayer. And I get my essential supplies online. eg food as there is no shop out here. It is a great blessing and a practical help to Solitaries.

It is not about existing in a vacuum. It is about dealing with essentials as easily and with as little interaction as possible, and email is perfect.

SoloISland · 07/09/2021 14:45

@youshallnotpass9

Couldn't be a nun, massive fantasies about being a Hermit.

Anyone who knows anything about being a Hermit, please don't tell me, I want to live in the fantasy I have created.

Being a hermit is very individual and varied. Fear not...

Yes a widow can join some Orders. But not these days for the reason you remind of. Thankfully. Also younger spinsters might choose to do that. As in Shakespeare.. Get thee to a nunnery. A place to escape to or be imprisoned in.

It is actually not easy to get into an Order now. Escapism is not allowed. It is an intense life needing fortitude.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 07/09/2021 15:09

SoloISland- thank you! Fascinating insights.

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