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Original poster

Becoming a monk or nun in a silent order

114 replies

Serenissima21 · 31/07/2021 18:54

Today I visited a monastery. Each monk has his own cell which is a bedroom, tiny study, chapel and vegetable garden. It is a silent order. The monks spend most of their time in their cells but eat and worship together- in silence.

I've always thought it sounded appealing but today I'm not so sure. Im not sure what the upsides are - I guess lockdown was easy? They have no tv or internet obviously and we didn't meet any as they don't come out when there are visitors.

My friend's sister became a nun in a stricter, closed order. She's not allowed out unless she leaves completely but she says she's never been happier.

I don't know what the point of this post is but just wondered if anyone here has ever contemplated (or experienced) a monastic life.

OP posts:

MrsFin · 02/08/2021 00:39

My cousin is a Carmelite nun (silent order). She's in her 70s now and became a nun at 18.
She's very happy - (and they do have the Internet, but are restricted as to when they can use it.)

MrsFin · 02/08/2021 00:41

@craftyminer

Seems like such a waste of a life to me. To do nothing and go nowhere and help no one and achieve zilch. You'd be so clueless about the works if you never spoke to anyone or watched telly etc

As they see it, they are not wasting their life, they are praying for the rest of us.

ScrollingLeaves · 02/08/2021 00:43

“craftyminer
Seems like such a waste of a life to me. To do nothing and go nowhere and help no one and achieve zilch. You'd be so clueless about the works if you never spoke to anyone or watched telly etc“

One of the best people in my life ever was a nun who taught me. I found out later many of her students felt the same.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Philosophy & religion

AnotherMarvellousThing · 02/08/2021 09:30

@Hen2018

What a waste of a life.

Having actually considered it, and decided it wasn’t for me, and despite no longer having any religious belief at all, this does make me want to ask what constitutes not wasting a life?

DueyCheatemAndHow · 02/08/2021 09:35

As the mother of a 3 year old who doesn't shut up... this sounds like bliss...

AnotherMarvellousThing · 02/08/2021 09:45

@DueyCheatemAndHow

As the mother of a 3 year old who doesn't shut up... this sounds like bliss...

There’s probably a market for silent retreats aimed at the parents of toddlers called the NO ONE WILL SAY ‘IVE JUST DONE A BIG POO’ weekend.

Rockbird · 02/08/2021 10:31

Always been at the back of my mind. Brought up Catholic and educated by nuns I was always fascinated by them and still am. I don't know if I could do it but would have loved the chance to find out. Married with children now though so the ship has sailed.

AnotherMarvellousThing · 02/08/2021 11:06

@Rockbird

Not necessarily — some orders will waive the under 35 age limit as long as they think you’re a good fit in other ways. (Not currently married (so I’m assuming you’d need to annul yours or knock your DH on the head

, no debt, no children under 18, physically and psychologically in good health (which probably means you shouldn’t mention knocking your DH on the head…).)

My parents’ parish has as a parish priest a widower with adult children — late vocation after his wife died a d his children grew up and left.

craftyminer · 02/08/2021 12:30

@ScrollingLeaves but that's different because the nun you're talking about was an inspiring teacher. I was saying the closed order nuns who stay silent is a waste of a life. Locking themselves away from society and not talking, seems pointless.

MrsFin · 02/08/2021 12:44

This will tell you a bit more about what they do.

www.thicketpriorycarmel.org/

SquirryTheSquirrel · 02/08/2021 12:49

I once went on a two day retreat (not silent). I don't follow a religion but I found it an immensely calming experience. If I'm stressed I sometimes close my eyes and picture the simple room I stayed in and the feeling I had when I laid down in bed.

MaMelon · 02/08/2021 12:59

Oh I often fantasise about this as I'm getting older - and even more so today after coming into the office on one of my onsite days only to find Mrs Slow Booming Voice has appeared.

I don't have a faith though, so I suspect I'd soon be found out to be the anti social grump that I'm becoming as opposed to someone dedicating their live to religious introspection.

SquirryTheSquirrel · 02/08/2021 13:05

@MaMelon

Oh I often fantasise about this as I'm getting older - and even more so today after coming into the office on one of my onsite days only to find Mrs Slow Booming Voice has appeared.

I don't have a faith though, so I suspect I'd soon be found out to be the anti social grump that I'm becoming as opposed to someone dedicating their live to religious introspection.

Why don't you try going on a weekend retreat? It doesn't matter if you have no religious faith (I am an agnostic).

AnotherMarvellousThing · 02/08/2021 13:06

Locking themselves away from society and not talking, seems pointless.

But you could say the same of a significant number of Mumsnetters who regard a ring at their doorbell as a shocking incursion on their privacy, and who treat the school run as a gauntlet to be run as silently as possible.

MaMelon · 02/08/2021 13:08

A weekend wouldn’t be long enough

I’m being facetious really, I’m just finding I’m becoming less tolerant as I approach the menopause.

AnotherMarvellousThing · 02/08/2021 13:11

@MaMelon

Oh I often fantasise about this as I'm getting older - and even more so today after coming into the office on one of my onsite days only to find Mrs Slow Booming Voice has appeared.

I don't have a faith though, so I suspect I'd soon be found out to be the anti social grump that I'm becoming as opposed to someone dedicating their live to religious introspection.

No one is going to quiz you on your position on the Assumption or the Holy Trinity -- I imagine large numbers of those staying in convent guesthouses these days are of no religious belief.

(The snag of course with actual convent life is that you might find yourself in a convent of fewer than ten nuns with Sr Slow Booming Voice across from you at recreation/ beside you in chapel until one of you dies. )

Ylvamoon · 02/08/2021 13:22

I think it's a possibility.

Especially if you have a busy, noisy life. Once you hit your 50's done the 9-5, family and Co, it be a great idea to just have a very simple life!

YetAnotherSpartacus · 02/08/2021 13:28

I've always loved the idea. Unfortunately, I'm an athiest.

MaMelon · 02/08/2021 13:36

I have no doubt whatsoever that this is indeed what would happen

ichundich · 02/08/2021 13:41

Do you believe in God and do you want to dedicate your life to God / be married to Christ? Otherwise I feel this would be disingenuous.

MrsFin · 02/08/2021 13:45

Locking themselves away from society and not talking, seems pointless

It doesn't seem pointless if you have faith.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 02/08/2021 13:51

The chattering order of St Beryl.

Original poster

Serenissima21 · 02/08/2021 13:55

Do you believe in God and do you want to dedicate your life to God / be married to Christ? Otherwise I feel this would be disingenuous
I'm not thinking of taking holy orders (don't think dh would be impressed!) but I find it interesting.

The snag of course with actual convent life is that you might find yourself in a convent of fewer than ten nuns with Sr Slow Booming Voice across from you at recreation/ beside you in chapel until one of you dies
I did spend a week in hospital once with only one patient (a nun) for company. She was too poorly to chat much but her visitors were very interesting.

OP posts:

PrincessKaguya · 02/08/2021 17:42

For me a waste of life is living in this rat race, constant consumption, having no respect for your body or mind. Majority of people live for themselves, they don't contribute anything to the society and they are often unhappy. Living in monastery/convent seems to be much more purposeful than our modern life.

KeflavikAirport · 02/08/2021 18:42

An elderly relative was a nun for many years. She has always been mentally fragile and seems to have joined to avoid coming out back when it would have been unthinkable. She eventually left but is very institutionalised and reliant on other people for everyday life. Rather sad,really.

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