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Original poster

Husband's employee has taken/stolen my pain medication

197 replies

6demandingchildren · 30/07/2021 00:52

This is a message expanding what happened today, it's from me to a good friend as it saves me typing it all out again, sorry it's long and probably complicated.
This is the message
I'm so angry right now and I was going to chat tomorrow but in too much pain to sleep.
Obviously we only have 1 week until holiday so we need to try and make some extra money as we won't be able to earn anything while we are away and we need money while away so the pressure is on.
We decided to go into work today to list as much as we can to sell on eBay.
Dh then had to go to the building site as the tree surgeon was going to be their early as he needs to do his bit before we can get the electrics in, so I said I would go to the warehouse on my own.
I have run out of tramadol at home but knew I had 6 at work so decided to wait until I got there as I'm in so much pain and the co-codamol isn't touching the pain.
I get to work and do a few things before settling down to a cuppa and 2 pills.
I go to get my tablets and they are gone, I look round and can't find them so go to the car and as I knew nothing in there so I phone dh who said employee pinched 1 tablet and they are on her desk.
I look everywhere and can't find them so phone employee and she said she has them in her bag.
I have spent the day in agony and I was also angry at dh as I thought he had given them all to her.
Met dh at home and he is also angry with her as he said she could have one then a bit later saw the strip on her desk and questioned why she wanted one when she had a strip she said they were the ones he said she could have and he said no, he explained that he said she could have 1 not all of them and to put them back on my desk as I need them.
But instead of putting them on my desk she put them in her bag and took them home and I doubt she will return them as she will of taken them all.
I'm so angry as she has stolen from me.
Sorry that was so long but I need to vent.

For context she knows I have 3 prolapsed disks and a spinal fracture as well as other medical issues, but she is also a family friend.

I am in so much pain I can't sleep and it's worse as I have not kept up with the pain relief.

Aibu to be so angry or could it be a honest mistake? (But I honestly can't see how)

OP posts:
Datingandnoideahowto · 30/07/2021 10:39

I also have chronic pain. I also have tons of painkillers and they live all sorts of places. I never share them with anyone. And I’d never expect anyone else to tell them to go help themselves to my medication.

I’d also never leave myself short before a weekend.

ilovesooty · 30/07/2021 11:08

No one said the OP was a drug dealer. Talk about misrepresenting people's words. Hmm

Howshouldibehave · 30/07/2021 11:10

Met dh at home and he is also angry with her as he said she could have one then a bit later saw the strip on her desk and questioned why she wanted one when she had a strip she said they were the ones he said she could have and he said no, he explained that he said she could have 1 not all of them and to put them back on my desk as I need them.But instead of putting them on my desk she put them in her bag and took them home and I doubt she will return them as she will of taken them all.

So all of that was entirely a lie made up by your DH?!

I’d be very worried how easily he lied about things, tbh.

contactornotthatisthequestion · 30/07/2021 11:38

OP do you take paracetamols at the same time as the tramadol? i ask this as im also on them for prolapsed discs and i didnt find them very effective until i started taking them with the paras (used to aleterate them) now i find the work so much better. gabapentin and pregabalin didnt really do anything for me.
also maybe ask gp about a low dose of amytriptaline and tgis also helps, i take it at night. yes its primarily an anitdepressant but it does work quite well for this type of pain

Batsy · 30/07/2021 11:42

please remember that gabapentin is also a controlled drug... whatever the truth of whats gone on here, i think a review of where you keep those kind of medications at work needs reviewing

ilovesooty · 30/07/2021 11:48

Gabapentin is also abused a lot and you need to be very careful about storing it securely. I also agree with @Batsy that you really do need to review your meds storage.

Incidentally if your husband told her to put them 'back' on your desk it certainly indicates that security around them was very lax.

girlmom21 · 30/07/2021 13:18

@ilovesooty

No one said the OP was a drug dealer. Talk about misrepresenting people's words. Hmm
Quite a few people have suggested the DH is...
ilovesooty · 30/07/2021 13:47

I was referencing the post by @Insidelaurashead.

If the husband makes opiates available to others, yes, he is committing an offence. The fact that money hasn't changed hands isn't relevant.

Insidelaurashead · 30/07/2021 14:21

You're right @girlmom21 quite a few have made that suggestion. Reading the thread, the third party has gone into a locked office, into the OPs drawer and into a code locked box to take the medication. But it's still OPs fault or OPs husbands. Nevermind that chronic pain can make it difficult to remember to carry medication everywhere, so as a coping mechanism OP has some at work. I had all sorts in my office pre covid, as reasonable adjustments to allow me to cope with work. If someone had nicked my blanket or my fan or my wheat bag or my special chair for example, they're still a thief, even though I'd left them there

MistySkiesAfterRain · 30/07/2021 14:38

Why was your DH going to give it to her/did he say she could have one?

How did she get hold of the strip?

safariboot · 30/07/2021 14:39

@6demandingchildren

mathanxiety he didn't give my medication out as going through his messages she stole them, I can't lock my medication in my drawer as in an emergency my husband does need to get into the drawer quickly to be able to get to my injections so called friend also know this and knows what to do that's why she is the only other person with a key to our office.
This sounds suspiciously like your 'D'H changing his story because he's realised that he supplied illegal drugs to his co-worker. Class C, possession illegal without a prescription, supply illegal unless you're a medical professional.

Getting the police involved will land your husband in the shit and could well get you treated as a suspect too, so you probably don't want to go down that route.

SunSunSunshine · 30/07/2021 15:07

@Insidelaurashead

You're right *@girlmom21* quite a few have made that suggestion. Reading the thread, the third party has gone into a locked office, into the OPs drawer and into a code locked box to take the medication. But it's still OPs fault or OPs husbands. Nevermind that chronic pain can make it difficult to remember to carry medication everywhere, so as a coping mechanism OP has some at work. I had all sorts in my office pre covid, as reasonable adjustments to allow me to cope with work. If someone had nicked my blanket or my fan or my wheat bag or my special chair for example, they're still a thief, even though I'd left them there
No how it reads is that the OP's husband said that his employee could have some of his wife's controlled pain medication. The wife has now realised by putting this on a public forum (and by the responses that she has received) her husband could be in a whole heap of trouble. The OP now keeps changing her story that she or her husband are in no way to blame.
user1471554720 · 30/07/2021 15:52

Could you or dh drive to her house and collect them? The more of a fuss you make, the more she will think twice before pulling that stunt again. If she hasn't got them etc, inform her that she needs to ring your doctor and say she took them. Tell her your doctor won't give more unless she says she took this lot. If there is any fuss, tell your doctor what happened and give them her name and phone. What a mean, nasty thing for her to do.

me4real · 30/07/2021 16:34

I'm glad she's not working for you anymore @6demandingchildren , please don't have her back.

Omg he didn't dish them out, she stole them. He lied to me as he didn't want me getting upset but I have so it was pointless.

If he's denying he gave her one to start with, I don't believe him. I think he did and has now changed his story to seem completely innocent himself (even though he gave her one of her tablets.)

I hope you do better now they've changed your dose, or they find something that helps soon. xx

scaffoldingtheworld · 30/07/2021 16:50

@user1471554720

Could you or dh drive to her house and collect them? The more of a fuss you make, the more she will think twice before pulling that stunt again. If she hasn't got them etc, inform her that she needs to ring your doctor and say she took them. Tell her your doctor won't give more unless she says she took this lot. If there is any fuss, tell your doctor what happened and give them her name and phone. What a mean, nasty thing for her to do.
May be read the whole thread first.
BrozTito · 30/07/2021 17:10

No way it was an accident by her, shel be addicted. Best shes gone. You need to ring various Nhs lines and hassle, if you highlight withdrawal symptoms you can get temporary scripts of a few days.

Gingernaut · 30/07/2021 17:17

You may want to get this thread pulled.

You failed to securely store and your husband allowed someone access to a controlled, highly addictive drug, when they weren't prescribed for her.

I understand you're upset that something meant for you was taken, but these things ain't Smarties.

You can't allow anyone else access to them.

thenewduchessofhastings · 30/07/2021 17:37

No offence but it sounds as though you,your DH and your employee are far too close and the relationship between you isn't professional and the lines of work/friendships are too blurred.

Soontobe60 · 30/07/2021 20:08

@girlmom21

Everyone saying "he's broken the law letting her take them" is being ridiculous. IF he is a qualified first aider he's not allowed to give her medication but he's perfectly fine to say "there's some medication in x location if you feel that it might help". She's taking the decision to take the medication.

I think the worst thing here is someone leaving tramadol in an open location.

This is a Class C drug, which means it's illegal to have for yourself, give away or sell. Possession can get you up to 2 years in prison, an unlimited fine or both. Supplying someone else, even your friends, can get you up to 14 years in prison, an unlimited fine or both. Like drink-driving, driving when high is dangerous and illegal. If you’re caught driving under the influence, you may receive a heavy fine, driving ban, or prison sentence

This is from www.talktofrank.com/drug/tramadol#the-law
Tramadol is a class c drug and what her husband did IS illegal.

Worrysaboutalot · 30/07/2021 22:06

@6demandingchildren Where did you get that medicine bag with a lock? I need one :)

Worrysaboutalot · 30/07/2021 22:09

Sorry, I hit post too soon.

It is rubbish that your now ex friend couldn't be trusted. So now you have lost out on a friend and an employee.

I hear your pain, as I have a lot of nerve pain and I am on Gabapentin amongst other meds.

Hope you get on top of the pain soon Flowers

Torvean · 03/08/2021 15:55

Are your pain killers for your fracture? I just find it odd that you've been given gabapentin which is more for neuropathic pain and tramadol within 10 weeks.

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