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Original poster

Husband's employee has taken/stolen my pain medication

197 replies

6demandingchildren · 30/07/2021 00:52

This is a message expanding what happened today, it's from me to a good friend as it saves me typing it all out again, sorry it's long and probably complicated.
This is the message
I'm so angry right now and I was going to chat tomorrow but in too much pain to sleep.
Obviously we only have 1 week until holiday so we need to try and make some extra money as we won't be able to earn anything while we are away and we need money while away so the pressure is on.
We decided to go into work today to list as much as we can to sell on eBay.
Dh then had to go to the building site as the tree surgeon was going to be their early as he needs to do his bit before we can get the electrics in, so I said I would go to the warehouse on my own.
I have run out of tramadol at home but knew I had 6 at work so decided to wait until I got there as I'm in so much pain and the co-codamol isn't touching the pain.
I get to work and do a few things before settling down to a cuppa and 2 pills.
I go to get my tablets and they are gone, I look round and can't find them so go to the car and as I knew nothing in there so I phone dh who said employee pinched 1 tablet and they are on her desk.
I look everywhere and can't find them so phone employee and she said she has them in her bag.
I have spent the day in agony and I was also angry at dh as I thought he had given them all to her.
Met dh at home and he is also angry with her as he said she could have one then a bit later saw the strip on her desk and questioned why she wanted one when she had a strip she said they were the ones he said she could have and he said no, he explained that he said she could have 1 not all of them and to put them back on my desk as I need them.
But instead of putting them on my desk she put them in her bag and took them home and I doubt she will return them as she will of taken them all.
I'm so angry as she has stolen from me.
Sorry that was so long but I need to vent.

For context she knows I have 3 prolapsed disks and a spinal fracture as well as other medical issues, but she is also a family friend.

I am in so much pain I can't sleep and it's worse as I have not kept up with the pain relief.

Aibu to be so angry or could it be a honest mistake? (But I honestly can't see how)

OP posts:

DazedConfusedAndHungry · 30/07/2021 04:07

I had my whole box stolen on way home from pharmacy and because of the type of drug it is, my GP would only prescribe more once I had a crime number. I guess it's a common excuse to get more, to say they've been stolen. I have them delivered now evacuate I was anxious about having my bag snatched again.

Your husband should not have told her she can have even one. ESP if it's difficult to get an appointment, I'd be angry with him for giving controlled meds away. Is there any chance the woman has thought he meant one strip, or he's said something like "sure there's some in the drawer you can have" When she's asked him? I learnt my lesson so I never leave any anywhere and when mine were stolen my GP advised to only keep them at home and never to leave them at work or at someone else's house if anyone but me can access them.

Does he take your meds for his head injury too? I don't know if that's what you were hinting at when you said he doesn't take paracetamol and wouldn't deprive you, if so, you could get in trouble for sharing a controlled drug with him too. When mine were stolen my GP told me I shouldn't leave them anywhere but home and not to put my hand bag down on seats and tables if I've just picked them up. In future I'd keep them at home in a safe place and the fact an employee is asking for controlled drugs and if she's genuinely stolen them I'd be concerned about addiction.

It's very addictive when taken for long periods of time and at each review my doctor will look at exactly when I've put my requests in to see if I've been trying to get them early. I don't get a buzz from them like some people do, they fuck with my sleep and even when I'm on the max dose I'm in a lot of pain still and can get very angry quickly on my really bad days. I feel for you suffering, I hope you're able to get an appointment.

Sweetpeasaremadeofcheese · 30/07/2021 04:10

She sounds like an addict, very suspicious behaviour.

pinkcircustop · 30/07/2021 04:12

Your husband is in the wrong here - he shouldn’t be giving our prescribed medication.

He is extremely unprofessional - both for giving out medication and for telling his employee he “can’t be doing with her”. He needs to take a look at his management practices and be very careful as what he’s done is illegal.

TheSunShinesBrighter · 30/07/2021 04:26

@ZealAndArdour

Tramadol is a controlled drug so this whole scenario is a legal nightmare. Good luck to all of you, the person who left the drugs lying around, the person who told an employee to take one, and the person whole stole the drugs. Nobody is in the clear here.

Read this OP. Sums up the situation perfectly.

CoronaPeroni · 30/07/2021 04:33

I don't really understand what your dh expected from his message. It sounds like he was trying to shift the blame from himself. Has anyone had a response from her? My first reaction would be to go to her house and get them and sort out whether it was a mistake or not.

SNKB14 · 30/07/2021 04:40

@ZealAndArdour

Came here to say this

avamiah · 30/07/2021 04:44

I’m sorry but have I missed something here ?

1)Firstly Tramadol is a prescription only drug and is highly addictive that’s why you can’t buy it at your local pharmacy as it’s only on prescription.
2)Why is OP’s husband giving it out as if it’s paracetamol or ibuprofen?
3) Why is OP keeping Tramadol at work ??
4) There can be serious side effects from taking this drug if you haven’t been prescribed it from your doctor , these could be 1) fast heart rate
2)dizziness, nausea , itching , and basically feeling terrible.

Mandalay246 · 30/07/2021 05:04

Hang on here, this doesn’t add up. You say you keep your meds in your drawer at work but that you only go into work one day a week. So you only need meds for your pain once a week?
Keeping Tramadol in a drawer at work is a very very bad idea, as it’s a powerful drug that should be kept safely. Your dh told her to take one - why? If my employer gave me access to tramadol she’d be in big trouble!

I was wondering about that myself. If you need the Tramadol so much why on earth do you keep it at work and not at home - it really doesn't make much sense.

She shouldn't have taken the pills, but neither should your DH have given them to her, and they should not have been in your desk drawer.

Stormtrooper76 · 30/07/2021 05:29

Tramadol is a highly addictive controlled painkiller, it’s use is therefore strictly regulated by medical professionals. When you request more earlier than expected your GP will want to know why you’ve run out early. Legally only a months tablets can be dispensed at a time to prevent abuse.

It is illegal and frankly stupid to take someone else’s prescription medication. If one of my employees took tramadol I’d be very concerned about addiction. As an employer you have a duty of care and need to address this.

Your husband, if he gave her even one, is illegally supply a controlled drug, not to mention in breach of his health and safety rules. Would he happily hand out any other controlled substances?

Keeping them in an unsecured drawer is lunacy, tramadol is widely abused and although it doesn’t have a legal requirement for locked storage, why leave them in harms way?

Realistically your husband needs to address his employee’s actions (both taking them and likelihood of addition), his text is stupidly unprofessional. I’m sorry you’re in pain but when assessed from all angles, not one of you comes out of this looking good.

Muchmorethan · 30/07/2021 05:36

@ZealAndArdour

Completely agree.

Sunbird24 · 30/07/2021 05:50

I imagine OP was keeping most of her prescription at home where she needed it most often, she said she had 6 in her drawer at work, so those were just in case she forgot to bring them with her on days she was in the office.

Purplealienpuke · 30/07/2021 06:04

I totally understand why you're angry
BUT... tramadol are a controlled substance. As such YOU should ensure nobody else has access to them, ie a locked box/drawer at work. Both you and your husband can have a key if he needs access but this employee should never have had access for any reason, let alone to 'steal' them!
You do realise the implications if she had had an accident at work after taking YOUR tramadol?? After your husband said she 'could have one'?
Im sorry you're in pain, I couldn't function without them either, but please rethink how you store them (and maybe who you employ/trust) in the future.

ZealAndArdour · 30/07/2021 06:08

Nobody is getting sacked in this scenario. The employee would absolutely crucify you at a tribunal.

“My boss told me to just take one of these tablets for my pain instead of going home sick, then he sent me this abusive text”.

SycamoreGap · 30/07/2021 06:09

@Bythehairywartsonmywitchychin

If they’re on repeat prescription and you’ve run out ring nhs 111

NHS111 can’t help with this as it’s a controlled drug.

BountyIsUnderrated · 30/07/2021 06:21

It is against the law to give others your prescription medication hope you realise op.
If she takes too many or has a reaction you can get into legal trouble.

Pixxie7 · 30/07/2021 06:23

At the end of the day you shouldn’t be leaving dangerous drugs where someone else can access them. Your partner certainly shouldn’t be giving them to someone else.
I think you have got to put this down to experience and learn from it.

SunSunSunshine · 30/07/2021 06:27

Trammadol is a a seriously strong pain killer. So much so it's banned in certain countries. (Years ago there was a case where a lady took some over to Egypt and ended up in prison).
Your husband should never ever have given his employee the medication.
He has now also potentially 'sacked her' for stealing by saying to her he doesn't want to see her ( could be interpreted as sacking).
As someone has mentioned before this is now a whole legal mine field.
Imagine if the employee had overdosed and your husband had given her the controlled drug?

If I were you I would play it very safe and be nice to the employees so she doesn't come back at you with a lawsuit.

I have also been on Tramadol for nerve damage back pain. So I know it's effects. The fact you are so angry at not being able to take it shows how effective and addictive it can be.

GreatAuntEmily · 30/07/2021 06:41

She has broken the law. Or you have broken the law - letting someone have your prescribed drugs.

CovidCorvid · 30/07/2021 06:41

I think your dh is at fault. Sounds like the employee misunderstood about how many she could have. She could argue she meant to put them back after being told to but forgot. I certainly wouldn’t be accusing her to her face of theft. Hope you get a new prescription sorted.

girlmom21 · 30/07/2021 06:52

Everyone saying "he's broken the law letting her take them" is being ridiculous. IF he is a qualified first aider he's not allowed to give her medication but he's perfectly fine to say "there's some medication in x location if you feel that it might help". She's taking the decision to take the medication.

I think the worst thing here is someone leaving tramadol in an open location.

SunSunSunshine · 30/07/2021 06:58

@girlmom21

I think the worst thing here is someone leaving tramadol in an open location.

I think it's you being ridiculous. Tramadol is a controlled drug. Heroin addicts break into pharmacies to steal this stuff. Her husband could be done for 'dealing'. Or worse manslaughter if his employee dies from taking it.

Katefoster · 30/07/2021 07:01

Tramadol is a controlled drug and addictive so please don't leave them lying around again.
I hope you get some more soon. She shouldn't of stolen them so I'm wondering if she has a problem because no one I know would take that much tramadol from someone else

ZealAndArdour · 30/07/2021 07:01

Everyone saying "he's broken the law letting her take them" is being ridiculous. IF he is a qualified first aider he's not allowed to give her medication but he's perfectly fine to say "there's some medication in x location if you feel that it might help". She's taking the decision to take the medication.

I think the worst thing here is someone leaving tramadol in an open location.*

Oh the magical powers of first aiders do make me laugh. A first aider can’t direct anyone to take a controlled drug that isn’t prescribed to them

I’m a registered nurse with meds management responsibility for my organisation, HTH.

Hendalle · 30/07/2021 07:03

A lot of PPs need to RTFT. OP updated that her DH didn’t tell the employee to take one, she stole them and OP saw this in DHs messages.

girlmom21 · 30/07/2021 07:03

He didn't give it her, suggest she takes it or prescribe it to her. She's a grown adult who knew exactly what she was taking.

HTH

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