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Original poster

Husband's employee has taken/stolen my pain medication

197 replies

6demandingchildren · 30/07/2021 00:52

This is a message expanding what happened today, it's from me to a good friend as it saves me typing it all out again, sorry it's long and probably complicated.
This is the message
I'm so angry right now and I was going to chat tomorrow but in too much pain to sleep.
Obviously we only have 1 week until holiday so we need to try and make some extra money as we won't be able to earn anything while we are away and we need money while away so the pressure is on.
We decided to go into work today to list as much as we can to sell on eBay.
Dh then had to go to the building site as the tree surgeon was going to be their early as he needs to do his bit before we can get the electrics in, so I said I would go to the warehouse on my own.
I have run out of tramadol at home but knew I had 6 at work so decided to wait until I got there as I'm in so much pain and the co-codamol isn't touching the pain.
I get to work and do a few things before settling down to a cuppa and 2 pills.
I go to get my tablets and they are gone, I look round and can't find them so go to the car and as I knew nothing in there so I phone dh who said employee pinched 1 tablet and they are on her desk.
I look everywhere and can't find them so phone employee and she said she has them in her bag.
I have spent the day in agony and I was also angry at dh as I thought he had given them all to her.
Met dh at home and he is also angry with her as he said she could have one then a bit later saw the strip on her desk and questioned why she wanted one when she had a strip she said they were the ones he said she could have and he said no, he explained that he said she could have 1 not all of them and to put them back on my desk as I need them.
But instead of putting them on my desk she put them in her bag and took them home and I doubt she will return them as she will of taken them all.
I'm so angry as she has stolen from me.
Sorry that was so long but I need to vent.

For context she knows I have 3 prolapsed disks and a spinal fracture as well as other medical issues, but she is also a family friend.

I am in so much pain I can't sleep and it's worse as I have not kept up with the pain relief.

Aibu to be so angry or could it be a honest mistake? (But I honestly can't see how)

OP posts:
GreatAuntEmily · 30/07/2021 07:05

If people could sell their prescribed drugs on there would be a nice side income for many people. Hence it is illegal.

SunSunSunshine · 30/07/2021 07:19

@girlmom21

He didn't give it her, suggest she takes it or prescribe it to her. She's a grown adult who knew exactly what she was taking.

HTHBiscuit

Yes he did. He said she could have one.
girlmom21 · 30/07/2021 07:21

@SunSunSunshine that's not the same as him physically giving it to her and saying 'take this, it'll help'. He wouldn't get a bloody manslaughter charge for it like you're claiming Hmm

Velvian · 30/07/2021 07:28

The DH didn't say she could have one, he just told OP that he did to keep the peace. He actually saw a strip on her desk and texted her when they were no longer there. The employee used to be on the same medication and he texted to ask were they OP's.

LemonTT · 30/07/2021 07:36

@girlmom21

He didn't give it her, suggest she takes it or prescribe it to her. She's a grown adult who knew exactly what she was taking.

HTHBiscuit

But the OP stated that he did offer them to her in her OP and her message to a friend. But he told her not to take the strip just one tablet.

As people have pointed out she is going to have to report the theft before a GP prescribes anything. Then the trouble begins. There is evidence she and her husband are at fault. The OP created that evidence in her message and on here. There are significant plausibility issues in this whole story for the OP and her husband.

The employee’s story could be as simple as to say she was in pain at work. Her boss told her to take some medication lying around. When he said one she thought her meant one strip. The employee can claim she didn’t know what it was and that she is the victim.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 30/07/2021 07:36

@FortunesFave

Sack her. It's a terrible thing to do.
They can't sack her - husband is just as culpable for allowing her to take even one tablet.
MichelleScarn · 30/07/2021 07:47

@6demandingchildren

I do think pain is worse with stress and in the past few weeks my husband has had a terrible head injury that could of been fatal and my darling cousin has died and I miss her terribly we didn't see each other often but kept in touch and she just had a way of wording things that made you laugh, it's her funeral next week and I won't be able to make the journey. But my son does get married in 3 weeks so that's something to look forward to as he is marrying someone who has become such a good friend to me and a genuinely lovely person so we are blessed. I do hate doom and gloom and moaning and I'm being that person and their are so many in physical or emotional pain that have it so much worse.
How's your husband doing? Is he OK being back at work so soon after this awful near fatal injury? Sounds like you've had a dreadful time!
ilovesooty · 30/07/2021 07:53

@EBearhug

Isn't it illegal to take medication prescribed for someone else?
It's illegal to supply a controlled drug to someone else. I can't believe how careless and irresponsible the behaviour of those in this scenario is.
clairethewitch70 · 30/07/2021 08:00

Tramadol is a controlled drug and shouldn’t be left in a desk drawer🤷‍♀️

scaffoldingtheworld · 30/07/2021 08:01

None of you are coming over well in all of this OP.

I think you all need to address what you’ve done. As someone above said, you’ve left a controlled drug lying around. Your DH gave one and the employee taking a controlled drug not prescribed to her. Plus the tone of your husbands text.

milkyaqua · 30/07/2021 08:02

And people - employees, who want to keep their jobs eg - also shouldn't steal.

Original poster
6demandingchildren · 30/07/2021 08:03

Good morning.
Had words with dh earlier about him lying to me as that is also another issue, but understand why he did it.
Amazed at how many people do not read all the posts, it's actually quite staggering.
I will hopefully get some more soon as even though 6 have been stolen im way over a month since my last prescription as I only take them when the pain is bad, I only left a few at work (6) as I don't like to carry them in my handbag due to my grandchildren getting to them easier as I'm quite forgetful and could leave my bag where they can get to it.
Also I naively trusted her as she is also a family friend or should I say was and she was meant to join us on holiday but now their is no way.

OP posts:
Datingandnoideahowto · 30/07/2021 08:04

Yeah no one in this scenario is blameless. All of you need to wise up.

ilovesooty · 30/07/2021 08:07

I worked in drug intervention services for years.

I agree with PP that the behaviour of everyone in this situation ranges from careless to criminal.

Datingandnoideahowto · 30/07/2021 08:08

You shouldn’t be leaving a controlled drug in an unlocked drawer at work. That’s madness.

ilovesooty · 30/07/2021 08:09

And if you're 'quite forgetful' you need to develop a more responsible attitude to your prescribed opiates.

Orf1abc · 30/07/2021 08:11

Did you call 111? They would have helped you.

I get why you're upset, but focus on getting the help you need to feel better.

Original poster
6demandingchildren · 30/07/2021 08:13

SHE WAS NOT GIVEN THEM IT TURNS OUT SHE STOLE THEM.
please if you can't read all the posts at least read mine for updates.
Only 3 people can get into my office, me dh and her, she knows where I keep my medication as she might have to administer some if DH is not around.

OP posts:
Chloemol · 30/07/2021 08:15

Why don’t you go to her home and get them?

scaffoldingtheworld · 30/07/2021 08:16

You’ve admitted your husband has lied. I wonder if he said to employee just to take the strip/them rather than specifically 1.

Datingandnoideahowto · 30/07/2021 08:17

I wouldn’t believe your husband.

Why are you in the office on your own if your so reliant on others to administer medication? That doesn’t sound safe for you.

Original poster
6demandingchildren · 30/07/2021 08:17

I did not call 111 as the service is very stretched and I would probably have to wait hours for a call back from a doctor and I may as well wait until my GP surgery opens, but like I said upthread I think it needs to be changed as it's not really helping that much.

OP posts:
Datingandnoideahowto · 30/07/2021 08:17

You should have called 111. And possibly the police.

Iwouldlikesomecake · 30/07/2021 08:21

To all the people saying OP is ‘leaving them lying around’ the only people who have access are those who are trusted with the keys. Her, DH and the woman working for them. That’s not ‘leaving them lying around’.

That’s like saying ‘well those nurses shouldn’t leave opiates lying around, where loads of people can get to them, loads of people have access to the drug cupboard keys’. Hmm Yes- the people trusted with the access!!

This is the same as someone with legitimate access to something (drugs, paperwork, information) abusing their position to gain access to something they shouldn’t (looking at a family member’s medical records, taking a drug for personal use). You should be able to leave something in a locked office and trust that those who have access are trustworthy enough not to abuse it.

C152 · 30/07/2021 08:21

The employee was totally in the wrong; there are no ifs or buts about it. Your DH should have sacked her on the spot for gross misconduct. THIS is what I would be having words with him about. Actually, I would insist that he sack her now. No wishy washy "i can't be dealing with you" text messages. A formal letter / email stating she is being fired for gross conduct, with immediate effect.

In future, you do need to consider how you store your medication. It should be in a locked box; at the very least. I know you said your DH needs to be able to get to it quickly in an emergency, but if he keeps his keys with him all the time, the delay of a couple of seconds unlocking the box is neither here nor there.

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