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Original poster

My worst nightmare nearly happened this morning 😞

460 replies

purrswhileheeats · 27/07/2021 17:51

I was reversing out of my driveway and almost ran over my neighbour's child, he was directly behind my car. He's no more than three years old and the only reason I saw him was he was waving his arms in the air and I saw them in my rear view mirror. He's so tiny I wouldn't have seen him otherwise as he was below the level of the back window IFYSWIM. My neighbour was loading stuff into his boot so I beeped the horn and shouted to him, he ran over, grabbed the boy and took him inside.

I was shaking and crying (sorry, that's so MN) when I got to work. They're a new family on the estate, only moved in a few months ago. The dad must've known the boy was playing outside while he was loading the car but didn't bother to check where he was.

I'm waiting for them to come home so I can go and speak to them. It's so horrible, I feel sick thinking about what could have happened.

OP posts:
BFrazzled · 27/07/2021 19:58

OP, there were many posters much kinder than me who explained why you should reverse park, never mind any particular difficulties with your setting. The way you describe your compound there might well be other kids or animals running around next time you reverse.

If you hit them next time you won't be crying and shaking not with mental anguish, but literally from fear of retribution in court. Learning to control your vehicle is not discretionary. The law enforcement is going to go straight after you and so will the child's family, never mind what you saw on TV shows.

roguetomato · 27/07/2021 19:59

@purrswhileheeats

I don't know actually, I just wanted to tell him to be more careful. I wasn't banging on the door shouting at his grandmother lol.

It was a horrible experience and not one I want to repeat.

Do you really think the dad needs reminding that he needs to be careful? You must have been shocked, but the fear of nearly losing a child because of his lapse in keeping an eye on his child is far greater, I would think. If it was me, I would just as him if the dc was ok next time I meet him.
zaffa · 27/07/2021 20:01

@Ohfuckitall do you have a comprehension problem or can you not read? Where have I said it is not my responsibility?
I have said, repeatedly, that parents are responsible for teaching their children to be careful. I have spoken of primary school children cycling on the pavement without supervision to and from school, and I have spoken of parents not teaching their children to be alert and aware of dangers.
If it makes you feel better to absolve all responsibility for the safety of your children then fine, but at the end of it, if someone hits my DD then blaming them frankly won't do anything to undo that or keep her safe. But teaching her safety and responsibility and not giving her free reign to run far ahead of me on a pavement next to a road will - not only from the traffic on the road or cars pulling out of drives but from a number of other sources of danger also.
Take some responsibility for your children andover their safety, at the same some that drivers take responsibility for their driving, and that will result in less accidents and safer children.

Ohfuckitall · 27/07/2021 20:02

We all have six foot fences out front due to traffic noise and I have had to stop sharply more than once as a child suddenly shoots out in front of me on a scooter @zaffa

Here is a quote from your post. You are openly saying that you have repeatedly almost hit a child, which is likely to have killed them, - a child which is legitimately and legally using a pavement, yet you are continuing to do the same thing each day and doing nothing to improve your visibility (reducing traffic new is apparently more important to you than not killing a child).

Yeah, I unashamedly do judge that. If you kill a child (looks more like when tbh) it will be entirely on you.

MrsV84 · 27/07/2021 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 27/07/2021 20:04

Driveways are horrendously dangerous for young children. I know of a guy who killed his 3 year old when he thought she was with mum and vice versa. I’m hyper vigilant with my 5 yo near traffic and I don’t give 2 fucks the amount of people who think I’m ott.

zaffa · 27/07/2021 20:05

@Ohfuckitall

We all have six foot fences out front due to traffic noise and I have had to stop sharply more than once as a child suddenly shoots out in front of me on a scooter *@zaffa*

Here is a quote from your post. You are openly saying that you have repeatedly almost hit a child, which is likely to have killed them, - a child which is legitimately and legally using a pavement, yet you are continuing to do the same thing each day and doing nothing to improve your visibility (reducing traffic new is apparently more important to you than not killing a child).

Yeah, I unashamedly do judge that. If you kill a child (looks more like when tbh) it will be entirely on you.

What? When did I say I did nothing to improve it? I installed multiple visibility mirrors to resolve the issue, but it doesn't stop those children from doing this on every other drive on the road. And it doesn't seem to stop them from growing up to use the pavement as a cycle path as they get older and involving themselves in a serious accident as a result
Ohfuckitall · 27/07/2021 20:06

But teaching her safety and responsibility and not giving her free reign to run far ahead of me on a pavement next to a road

It could be an adult runner. You could just as easily hit them. Its YOUR job to ensure you have proper visibility before pulling out. People are allowed to run on pavements, however much you don't like cos of your fence.

MotionActivatedDog · 27/07/2021 20:07

I think lots of people have a mental block when it comes to handling their car in reverse. I know of people who say they “can’t reverse”. I lived on a residential street once with a school and cars parked both sides meant only one lane of traffic was possible. The state of some people’s reversing “skills” was absolutely disgraceful. And some of them refused to reverse altogether causing massive traffic jams and other drivers having to reverse their cars for them. Lots of wing mirrors knocked too. It’s like people think reversing is an optional extra when you drive a car. Clearly much more focus on reversing required for the driving test.

zaffa · 27/07/2021 20:08

@Ohfuckitall

We all have six foot fences out front due to traffic noise and I have had to stop sharply more than once as a child suddenly shoots out in front of me on a scooter *@zaffa*

Here is a quote from your post. You are openly saying that you have repeatedly almost hit a child, which is likely to have killed them, - a child which is legitimately and legally using a pavement, yet you are continuing to do the same thing each day and doing nothing to improve your visibility (reducing traffic new is apparently more important to you than not killing a child).

Yeah, I unashamedly do judge that. If you kill a child (looks more like when tbh) it will be entirely on you.

Also, you have no right to accuse me of almost killing multiple children. Going at the exceptionally slow pace I edge out of my drive at, that is not a risk. Again, is it reading or is it comprehension you struggle with?
LublinToDublin · 27/07/2021 20:08

My comment about gluing children to parents was in response to those posters who seem to treat their driveways as as if they are road junctions. There's barely a foot of pavement round my way without a dropped kerb.
Children (not toddlers) should be able to run along the pavement with stopping every 2 seconds in case a car reverses out!

Dramallama4 · 27/07/2021 20:09

My god, half of the replies on this thread are ridiculous, it’s like a parallel universe. What a horrible toxic place this is these days.
Op, the parent should have been watching his child, his fault, not yours.

sauceyorange · 27/07/2021 20:09

You poor thing OP. What a horrible shock. Glad no harm done

Clymene · 27/07/2021 20:09

Anyone who allows their child to scoot down a pavement unsupervised with multiple dropped kerbs is a fucking idiot.

Knowing that you may be legally in the right isn't going to be much comfort when your kid is lying in hospital.

whynotwhatknot · 27/07/2021 20:09

In a big suv even going forward you wouldnt see a 3 year old -not saying this was the case but the reversing argyment has its faults

Dogvmarmot · 27/07/2021 20:10

@purrswhileheeats

I was backing out really slowly and carefully as I always do; I use my wing mirrors on the driveway, stop and look around before reversing slowly. I had no idea a child was behind my car.
Always reverse into your drive. That way you have just seen what is there and have a clear view leaving. Its the safest way. They should have been supervising their child but that wouldn't make anyone feel any better if the worst happened.
Notmoresugar · 27/07/2021 20:10

Really slack and ignorant parenting and an accident just waiting to happen.
Hope you're ok OP - you did really well to avoid him.

zaffa · 27/07/2021 20:10

@Ohfuckitall

But teaching her safety and responsibility and not giving her free reign to run far ahead of me on a pavement next to a road

It could be an adult runner. You could just as easily hit them. Its YOUR job to ensure you have proper visibility before pulling out. People are allowed to run on pavements, however much you don't like cos of your fence.

What is wrong with you? I don't know how much clearer to make this? I am not speaking of runners (who do not run on a busy road like ours due to the drives and traffic) I am speaking of children who, like in the OP, should not be left unsupervised on a busy road. Being more than an arms length from your child on a pavement of a road with moving traffic, regardless of drives, is wholly irresponsible
Original poster
purrswhileheeats · 27/07/2021 20:11

@BFrazzled

OP, there were many posters much kinder than me who explained why you should reverse park, never mind any particular difficulties with your setting. The way you describe your compound there might well be other kids or animals running around next time you reverse.

If you hit them next time you won't be crying and shaking not with mental anguish, but literally from fear of retribution in court. Learning to control your vehicle is not discretionary. The law enforcement is going to go straight after you and so will the child's family, never mind what you saw on TV shows.

Thank you Special Constable BFrazzled. Tomorrow I'll try not to mow down any more kids or animals.
OP posts:
Clymene · 27/07/2021 20:12

@LublinToDublin

My comment about gluing children to parents was in response to those posters who seem to treat their driveways as as if they are road junctions. There's barely a foot of pavement round my way without a dropped kerb. Children (not toddlers) should be able to run along the pavement with stopping every 2 seconds in case a car reverses out!
Good grief.
MrsPsmalls · 27/07/2021 20:15

Are people saying that this is not the ops fault? Even though she was blatantly ignoring the rules of the road? Which as all drivers will know is to reverse from the major to the minor road/space. Which is not negotiable and is safer for the reasons stated above many many times. If it is honestly impossible to reverse on to your drive then don't use it. The law would not have been on your side if you had hit that child.

Charliebradbury · 27/07/2021 20:15

Speaking as the parent who's child has run out into a road (side street, no cars close enough to hit him thankfully). I was supervising my children. My dd had dropped something, I turned to tell her to pick it up, in those 10 seconds my ds who was 3, let go of my hand and legged it. I ran after him and luckily no one was hurt. It was incredibly scary at the time. If someone had then come round to tell me to be a better parent etc I would have probably lost it. I was shaking afterwards and the car was no where close to my son. I imagine the parents have had just as much of a shock as you have and probably don't need you going round to discuss it.
I also would think about reversing into your drive, much safer.

Walkaround · 27/07/2021 20:16

Whose “fault” is it, though, if the child wasn’t on a pavement, because there are no pavements, just the owner’s own driveway coming directly out onto the road, as in this scenario?

Personally, as a pedestrian, I never trust people on driveways, because I do not fancy being crushed to death by a car even if I could have blamed them for it afterwards, and so actually do always check each driveway I pass and have always taught my children to as well. Accidents happen because at least one of the parties wasn’t checking, so I try to make sure that’s never me.

listsandbudgets · 27/07/2021 20:16

My friend's mum recently went to a funeral of a 4 year old child killed in exactly the same scenario - I don't drive but my friend is now telling the story and reminding people never to back out of their driveways.

Its sobering. I'm glad everything was OK OP you must feel very shaken up though. I'm sure his parents are feeling pretty shocked too it's very frightening when you have a lapse of attention and soemthing awful nearly happens to your child and the guilt feeling never quite dissipates.

KormasABitch · 27/07/2021 20:17

Terrifying experience for you, OP, and almost as terrifying some of the posts you've had on here. Flowers

Sharp learning curve; I wouldn't have thought about possible infanticide when parking on my driveway.