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Original poster

My worst nightmare nearly happened this morning 😞

460 replies

purrswhileheeats · 27/07/2021 17:51

I was reversing out of my driveway and almost ran over my neighbour's child, he was directly behind my car. He's no more than three years old and the only reason I saw him was he was waving his arms in the air and I saw them in my rear view mirror. He's so tiny I wouldn't have seen him otherwise as he was below the level of the back window IFYSWIM. My neighbour was loading stuff into his boot so I beeped the horn and shouted to him, he ran over, grabbed the boy and took him inside.

I was shaking and crying (sorry, that's so MN) when I got to work. They're a new family on the estate, only moved in a few months ago. The dad must've known the boy was playing outside while he was loading the car but didn't bother to check where he was.

I'm waiting for them to come home so I can go and speak to them. It's so horrible, I feel sick thinking about what could have happened.

OP posts:
EverythingDelegated · 27/07/2021 18:18

Sympathy, I do reverse on but thanks to a hedge I sometimes get a pedestrian / cyclist on the pavement / child on a scooter step out unexpectedly, it's really frightening. You managed to avoid an accident today and that's the main thing.

Saidtoomuch · 27/07/2021 18:23

You saw him though, focus on that.

What will you say to the parents when you see them? Was it to confront or to check everyone is okay? I'm just wondering whether its one of those lesson learnt things, and no doubt the parents will be more more upset about the near miss than anyone, so it might be nasty it you go when you you are still angry?

MotionActivatedDog · 27/07/2021 18:25

Try and master reversing in OP. Your nerves will never be the same otherwise every time you try and reverse out.

nimbuscloud · 27/07/2021 18:26

Can you get a reversing camera and/or sensors fitted to the car?

sycamore54321 · 27/07/2021 18:27

What a horrible shock and thank heavens all is well.

However, you cannot attempt to shift blame in any way to the parents. You are the one moving a large heavy machine, it’s legally entirely your responsibility to ensure you do it safely. You should be nothing other than apologetic - you cannot blame the parents.

Reversing into your drive is far safer - you will have driven past it immediately beforehand so you have a clear idea of what is there, and the potential areas of where a child could appear are much smaller - only directly from the right or left. Reversing out means a much wider arc from which a child could appear. Plus you are a moving car and so more visible to anyone; whereas reversing out means you are starting as a stationary car and so less obvious a danger. The angle of approach is different also and helps visibility - when reversing out you go straight out for longer. It’s not foolproof but it’s definitely safer to reverse in (and it’s the rules of the road - you reverse from the major road into the minor road, not the other way round. Same goes for parking spaces in a car park. Far safer to reverse in.

If you can’t get reversing camera retro-fitted, you could also consider a convex mirror on the pillar or edge of your drive.

I hope you get over the shock in time. It must have felt horrible. I know that sounds like a lecture above, but please do take a lesson from this horrible situation. And thankfully everyone is unhurt.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 27/07/2021 18:28

@LubaLuca

Start reversing on to your driveway. Things like this are easily avoided.
100%

It is hugely safer to reverse into car parking spots (on your drive, at a supermarket etc.) and then drive forwards out of them. If you're not confident to do it - practice and learn.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 27/07/2021 18:32

@flapjackfairy

Well presumably you could run over them just the same when reversing onto the drive.
Nope. Visibility is better as you've just driven up to it, they are more likely to have spotted the car paused in the road and about to reverse in, and children walk along pavements but they don't usually lurk in drives.

All of this also applies in supermarket car parks etc.

There is loads of evidence to show that reversing into car parking spaces is safer than reversing out of them.

SoupDragon · 27/07/2021 18:32

Not quite sure how reversing in would help? You're still reversing, one way or the other and there could be a toddler on your driveway.

Not really as you usually still approach the driveway forwards as you drive down the road. You'd know it was clear before positioning your car to reverse on.

OP near misses are scary. It will take a while to "forget" about it. I bet you will be obsessively checking it's clear before reversing off for a good while.

Imnothereforthedrama · 27/07/2021 18:34

You had a shock and I’m sure the parents did too .
Hopefully they will be careful in future .

MotionActivatedDog · 27/07/2021 18:35

Around here when a car arrives on the street the children or an adult supervising them shouts “car” and they all stand up on the pavement and wait for the car to pass. But they wouldn’t be aware of a car slowly reversing out of a drive in the same way. It’s much safer to drive into the street, get a look at what’s on or around your drive and then reverse onto it.

roguetomato · 27/07/2021 18:35

It didn't happen, so that was great. But I agree with others it's better to reverse in. Next time, it could be some children passing by. Way safer to be able to see where you are going.

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 27/07/2021 18:36

But it was the OP also needs to be more careful. Driving with due care and attention involves choosing the safest manoeuvre that is practically possible to get in / out of your drive. And in the vast majority of cases that will be reversing in and driving forwards out.

Tiddleztheelephant · 27/07/2021 18:36

*However, you cannot attempt to shift blame in any way to the parents. You are the one moving a large heavy machine, it’s legally entirely your responsibility to ensure you do it safely. You should be nothing other than apologetic - you cannot blame the parents.
*
Wow, disagree and quite an unkind post.
OP was driving safely and so spotted the child before anything happened. Why on Earth would she be going to apologise for the fact that their toddler stood behind her car??
Parents should supervise their children in roads, it's as simple as that. Your 3 year old is your responsibility.

Original poster
purrswhileheeats · 27/07/2021 18:37

Thanks all. I just had such a shock this morning and our lives could have changed in a split second. If I'd hit that child, even at 2mph he wouldn't have made it.

I've just knocked at the neighbours' as I saw lights on but the door was answered by a Romanian grandmother who couldn't understand English or Greek, I guess she's just visiting. No sign of the parents yet.

OP posts:
BFrazzled · 27/07/2021 18:38

Crap, it beggars belief.

You almost killed a child and manage to make this sound about yourself. Nursing your shaken self and about to give a proper telling to those Romanian parents. Lucky you they weren't English - guess who would be told off for reversing into the street?

Reverse into your drive each and every time from now on. You cannot = you are unfit to drive, end of story. Like literally, today, before you are preparing to knock onto Romanians door, reverse into your drive. Or call your husband or other designated adult in your household to do it for you...

BeenAsFarAsMercyAndGrand · 27/07/2021 18:38

@BFrazzled

Crap, it beggars belief.

You almost killed a child and manage to make this sound about yourself. Nursing your shaken self and about to give a proper telling to those Romanian parents. Lucky you they weren't English - guess who would be told off for reversing into the street?

Reverse into your drive each and every time from now on. You cannot = you are unfit to drive, end of story. Like literally, today, before you are preparing to knock onto Romanians door, reverse into your drive. Or call your husband or other designated adult in your household to do it for you...

Well said.
PaddleBoardingMomma · 27/07/2021 18:38

@BFrazzled

Crap, it beggars belief.

You almost killed a child and manage to make this sound about yourself. Nursing your shaken self and about to give a proper telling to those Romanian parents. Lucky you they weren't English - guess who would be told off for reversing into the street?

Reverse into your drive each and every time from now on. You cannot = you are unfit to drive, end of story. Like literally, today, before you are preparing to knock onto Romanians door, reverse into your drive. Or call your husband or other designated adult in your household to do it for you...

You sound absolutely demented.
BFrazzled · 27/07/2021 18:40

Oh, sorry - just saw you have already knocked....

So how is your car parked today - with its back into the drive? Or are you going to reverse out of your drive tomorrow as usual and hope the neighbours beware?

parietal · 27/07/2021 18:40

if you have a big car, there is a big blind spot at the front too

kmph.com/news/local/dangerous-blind-spots-in-trucks-and-suvs-cause-hundreds-of-child-deaths

stellaisabella · 27/07/2021 18:40

You aren't honestly going to go and tell
The parents off are you?? Confused

PaddleBoardingMomma · 27/07/2021 18:40

Everyone shouting YoU ShOuLd LeARn HoW tO rEvErsE and no one saying maybe those either people should responsibly watch their own damn children in a public open space with moving vehicles around?!

Honestly some days you mumsnetters really out do yourselves.

cervixuser · 27/07/2021 18:42

@BFrazzled

Crap, it beggars belief.

You almost killed a child and manage to make this sound about yourself. Nursing your shaken self and about to give a proper telling to those Romanian parents. Lucky you they weren't English - guess who would be told off for reversing into the street?

Reverse into your drive each and every time from now on. You cannot = you are unfit to drive, end of story. Like literally, today, before you are preparing to knock onto Romanians door, reverse into your drive. Or call your husband or other designated adult in your household to do it for you...

this is outrageous - the OP was driving carefully and she is shocked and doesn't need this.
SoupDragon · 27/07/2021 18:42

@PaddleBoardingMomma

Everyone shouting YoU ShOuLd LeARn HoW tO rEvErsE and no one saying maybe those either people should responsibly watch their own damn children in a public open space with moving vehicles around?!

Honestly some days you mumsnetters really out do yourselves.

Where is anyone shouting?
sycamore54321 · 27/07/2021 18:42

@Tiddleztheelephant

*However, you cannot attempt to shift blame in any way to the parents. You are the one moving a large heavy machine, it’s legally entirely your responsibility to ensure you do it safely. You should be nothing other than apologetic - you cannot blame the parents. * Wow, disagree and quite an unkind post. OP was driving safely and so spotted the child before anything happened. Why on Earth would she be going to apologise for the fact that their toddler stood behind her car?? Parents should supervise their children in roads, it's as simple as that. Your 3 year old is your responsibility.
The law doesn’t see it that way. Anything happened, it would be 100% the driver’s responsibility. Yes the parents should watch their children but in this case, it’s definitely two wrongs don’t make a right. The car, and where it moves, is the driver’s responsibility. There is no point telling her otherwise.

I agree she got a horrible fright and that she did well to avoid a collision. But she was not driving in the safest possible way and isn’t it better that she learns something from this experience and reduces the likelihood of it ever happening again?

cervixuser · 27/07/2021 18:42

@PaddleBoardingMomma

Everyone shouting YoU ShOuLd LeARn HoW tO rEvErsE and no one saying maybe those either people should responsibly watch their own damn children in a public open space with moving vehicles around?!

Honestly some days you mumsnetters really out do yourselves.

yes - absolutely - it's outrageous the way the blame is being shifted to the OP