My worst nightmare nearly happened this morning 😞

[purrswhileheeats]

I was reversing out of my driveway and almost ran over my neighbour's child, he was directly behind my car. He's no more than three years old and the only reason I saw him was he was waving his arms in the air and I saw them in my rear view mirror. He's so tiny I wouldn't have seen him otherwise as he was below the level of the back window IFYSWIM. My neighbour was loading stuff into his boot so I beeped the horn and shouted to him, he ran over, grabbed the boy and took him inside.

I was shaking and crying (sorry, that's so MN) when I got to work. They're a new family on the estate, only moved in a few months ago. The dad must've known the boy was playing outside while he was loading the car but didn't bother to check where he was.

I'm waiting for them to come home so I can go and speak to them. It's so horrible, I feel sick thinking about what could have happened.

@YeokensYegg The Dad is 100% to blame for not keeping track of his 3 year old.

Yeah, but how is that helpful? Would the OP feel better if she'd hit the child because it was "100% the Dad's fault"? Would she calmly say, "that was your fault?"!?

In human versus car, humans come off worse, so the person driving the big heavy weapon needs to take utmost care. It is a basic and well established fact that reversing into a space is statistically safer. Not doing so because it is difficult is a very poorly weighed decision. The OP has just had a demonstration of why, and the advice to reverse park is because this is the most meaningful thing that can be learned/changed here. She can go and talk with her neighbour till she's blue in the face, but that doesnt solve the problem for the next child, someone's pet, or even her own emergency which needs her to drive out quickly.

Just a few reasons why everyone should reverse park (some school car parks even have this as a rule):

1. If you arrive home to your driveway, you'll have taken note of hazards before starting the manoeuvre...like kids playing.
2. Your reverse manoeuvre is into a limited space -there's less to have to focus on.
3. Because it is a limited and restricted space you'll be driving a lot slower than if reversing out toward a more open area. So even in the unlikely event someone is in your driveway, the collision will likely be much less significant
4. You should prioritise ease of getting out, not getting in, in case of emergency

No matter what some people here seem to think, there is a massive statistical difference in the frequency of accidents caused by reversing into vs out of a space.

@LadyDanburysCane Yes.

We don't have a drive, but I know that I drive along a pretty busy main route into a city centre and I don't think it would be possible for most people to reverse into their drives from it. The flow of traffic is crazy, lots of big lorries and vans and all belting along at high speed. As far as I can see, the best bet is to drive in and then try and reverse out early in the morning when the road is quieter. I've watched a few attempts as I've driven past.

I know I'm an inexperienced driver and I don't have a drive, but all I can see is that the OP has had a nasty shock and wants to try and make sure that the child is safe in future.

@MotionActivatedDog

It’s extremely worrying that so many people on this thread can’t understand how or why reversing into the drive is so much safer.

I quite agree with you. I always reverse into parking spaces - it’s actually much easier than driving in, especially if you have a big car.

Reversing is REALLY DANGEROUS
As a tall person, I’ve had idiot drivers just pull off driveways suddenly without warning.. and witnessed it too.
A child could have been killed- it happens.
Best Check the road is absolutely clear of anything- including animals- before reversing anywhere.

@Mummyoflittledragon

I love this update on the demographics of your estate as it shuts up the people saying you think you’re superior.

Just as a word of thought, idk where you are but police in some countries don’t treat people as well as in the U.K. when they cause a rta, especially if they hurt a person. I appreciate that you obviously have no intention of hurting a child. But I really would try to rethink your manoeuvres.

If I had the energy I'd draw a diagram! It's a small complex off the road (common here) so the only vehicles are the ones owned by residents. There are no pavements, just a communal parking area and some houses like mine have parking under the houses.

I find it easier to drive forward than backward.

I know someone who killed a child in similar circumstances. There was never even a flicker of doubt that he was in anyway to blame. It was a complete accident caused by the parents looking the wrong way for a split second. It made no difference that it wasn't his fault. He had been a limo driver before the accident, ferrying the great and the good all London. He never drove or worked again after the accident. He was a broken man and spent the rest of his life sitting in his house destroyed by regret.

And the moral of this story is - it is nearly always safer to reverse into a space and drive out than the other way round. It might be slower or less convenient but those things pale into insignificance compared to the life of a child.

There are some absolute morons on Mumsnet tonight
I agree Ilikecheeseontoast but I disagree with you about who they are. I'm horrified by the car drivers who don't accept where their responsibility lies.

Of course everyone needs to be alert, but children should be safe from cars on the pavement. We shouldn't have to have children glued to our sides or holding our hands.

@Aspergallus Well put! Having seen people reverse out as if they are blind is alarming.
Always check an area is clear before reversing.

Children have been killed this way by own parents.
It’s a real danger.
A workmate reversed over his own dog-lethal outcome- and was suicidal afterwards.

@Ohfuckitall can you link where I said it wasn't my responsibility not to hit someone? Because I didn't. And I mentioned running, scooting and cycling. Perhaps try reading the whole post before getting all superior on everyone else?
As I have now said more than once - parents should also take responsibility for teaching their children road safely

Glad things are all okay OP and I can totally empathise with you feeling so shocked and awful. But it didn't happen so just breathe... be extra grateful for the good things in your life and take even more care x

I don’t think OP wants to tell the parents off. But they should be told to keep an eye on their young child. Yes, the responsibility is with the driver. But doesn’t mean the parents should let children play near cars.

@LublinToDublin toddlers need to to be holding hands by a road.

I agree Ilikecheeseontoast but I disagree with you about who they are. I'm horrified by the car drivers who don't accept where their responsibility lies

Quite.

My uncle did this ran over my cousin and killed him. He was 3 years.

The people who think this is 100% the driver’s fault or 100% the child’s parents fault need to Google the ‘Swiss cheese model’ of errors.

There is fault on both sides here. But the OP can only control her own behaviour. For all the reasons described previously on this thread it is (nearly always) best to reverse onto a drive.

And what comfort would it be to know it ‘wasn’t your fault’ you’d run over a child. Yes you might feel even worse if you’d been driving more obviously dangerously. But I imagine everyone but the psychopaths among us would be devastated in a life changing way if we ran over a child (or an adult for that matter!)

Luckily the OP was driving carefully (even if not parked optimally) and disaster was averted. It must have been a horrible shock for all involved.

@Galassia of course she cared! Then the shock and embarrassment. She must have thanked you a thousand times in her mind afterwards. Lucky you were there and was able to react

@purrswhileheeats

Thank you *@TheAwfulTruth, @HaveringWavering* and others. I'm not going to speak to the parents, hopefully they've learnt from this.

They are a nice family despite being Romanian obviously joking

Omg hahaha this is the funniest thing I've read on MN... hilarious thanks op 😂

This thread has made me think actually. I am going to make sure I alway reverse into spaces.

Thank goodness the worst didn't happen! Reversing onto your drive will mean a general lower risk but then for freak incidents a child might be just as likely to move onto your drive unseen whilst reversing, so don't dwell on that point. You can't blame yourself and to be frank everyone blaming the dad is being a bit much too! The child is 3 they do move fast and their curiosity is a risk. Yes he could have kept a more wary eye but distractions happen in real life, especially at home!

[quote Benjispruce5]@LublinToDublin toddlers need to to be holding hands by a road.[/quote]
Quite. I would never allow DD free reign near moving cars

The kid should have ran out of the way I know my kid would have

@purrswhileheeats

I was backing out really slowly and carefully as I always do; I use my wing mirrors on the driveway, stop and look around before reversing slowly. I had no idea a child was behind my car.

Nothing wrong with your driving technique then, the child was in a blind spot. Get a reversing camera fitted. Mine was an extra I didn't specify, but if I'd have known how good it was, and how much safer it is when I'm reversing, I'd definitely have ordered it. I think they may even be mandatory now in USA.

[quote zaffa]@Ohfuckitall can you link where I said it wasn't my responsibility not to hit someone? Because I didn't. And I mentioned running, scooting and cycling. Perhaps try reading the whole post before getting all superior on everyone else?
As I have now said more than once - parents should also take responsibility for teaching their children road safely [/quote]
You seem to be expecting people to carefully check each driveway they pass which is clearly unreasonable.

It is your responsibility to check you do not hit people as you cross a pavement. It doesn't really matter how people are travelling on the pavement. Its perfectly legal to run or scoot on pavements and perfectly normal for young children to learn to ride on pavements.

You can't shift your responsibility not to hit children on pavements on how they are using the pavements. Your really can't. This isn't a matter of teaching children road safety - and after all we are talking about children who are on PAVEMENTS. In fact it seems to be about teaching you how to be a safe driver. You have already said that you have chosen to have a fence which you are well aware obscures your view of the pavement as you come out. And now you feel parents have the responsibility to stop you hitting the children YOU have knowingly obscured your view of?

The responsibility really is all yours here.

@Coachradley

I don’t think OP wants to tell the parents off. But they should be told to keep an eye on their young child. Yes, the responsibility is with the driver. But doesn’t mean the parents should let children play near cars.

The parents let the little boy potter around the front of their house when they're tinkering with their car, they usually keep an eye on him. This morning was not a time for that, it was 7.30am and most people on the complex are leaving for work around that time.