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Karen is my name

186 replies

Squills · 23/07/2021 19:05

Recently someone posted a photo of a hairstyle she was considering... apparently it is a 'Karen' hairstyle and people quickly voiced their disapproval, not so much of the actual hair style, but of the association with 'Karen'.

My name was Karen until I changed it earlier this year.

I felt increasingly hurt and upset when, on an almost daily basis, I'd read or watch someone being vile about my name.

I felt uncertain whether to make the change as I hoped given time it would all die down... but it hasn't. The deciding factor came when I saw someone carrying a placard stating 'We say Karen to be nice, what we mean is cunt'.

Changing my name was fairly easy but time consuming. It was worth the cost and the effort though as I feel relieved to be able to introduce myself without embarrassment. I didn't realise fully how badly it was affecting me until I made the change.

If you want to get an idea of how it feels to have your name dragged through the mud enter your name into the Empathy Generator in the link below.

karenismyname.org/renamer

When you consider how much thought parents give to naming their baby, think how they feel now their chosen name is now considered an insult on a par with the word cunt.

OP posts:
gogohm · 24/07/2021 15:17

I've never heard the term Karen as an insult in the U.K. except on Mumsnet.

RisingSunn · 24/07/2021 15:48

It really isn’t.

RisingSunn · 24/07/2021 15:51

@Phyllis321 It really isn’t.

Phyllis321 · 24/07/2021 15:58

But you have missed the point of the thread as Mousetown and igelkott 2021 have already said.

Imapotato · 24/07/2021 16:29

I always thought it was really stupid to use a name as an insult.

Most Karen’s I know are perfectly nice. I only know one who I think the insult is actually based on. But she’d be a bitch no matter name!

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 24/07/2021 16:32

It doesn't matter if some Karens people know are lovely, and it doesn't matter if they are witches from hell.

Generalising and stereotyping women is hateful.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 24/07/2021 16:42

I think it's terrible.
It could just as easily be Sarah, Laura, Rachel, Tina or Lisa.

RisingSunn · 24/07/2021 16:46

@Mousetown No I am not missing the point. I was responding to those that mentioned the behaviours I listed ‘were in America though’.

I have already stated in a previous post that if it was my name I would also be annoyed.

foxandbee · 24/07/2021 17:31

I feel for you OP, to have had your name appropriated like that must be horrible. I did the empathy generator and it made me very uncomfortable.

Tallwhitepine · 24/07/2021 18:58

[quote RisingSunn]@Mousetown No I am not missing the point. I was responding to those that mentioned the behaviours I listed ‘were in America though’.

I have already stated in a previous post that if it was my name I would also be annoyed.[/quote]
If you're not in the US, how do you know this? A handful of stories from the internet?
Millions of people live here. It's just as mysogonist an insult in the US and just as many innocent women are being unfairly maligned.

Tallwhitepine · 24/07/2021 19:02

And the insult started because a guy who was getting divorced was all pissed off at his wife.

Gertie75 · 24/07/2021 19:09

It really hits home when you enter your own name in the link, it really must be awful and no matter how much people can say to take no notice it must be impossible to.

I've never heard an adult use it as an insult but there have been a couple of times at playgrounds when boys have used it to insult my 8 year old daughter.

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 24/07/2021 19:21

[quote RisingSunn]@Mousetown No I am not missing the point. I was responding to those that mentioned the behaviours I listed ‘were in America though’.

I have already stated in a previous post that if it was my name I would also be annoyed.[/quote]
It's not merely an annoyance though is it. OP has stated it was upsetting enough and having a big enough effect on her life that she changed her name...imagine for a moment.

What is the point of coming on a thread like this just to excuse the awful behaviour that's causing so much hurt?
Imagine attempting to call out racism and transphobia by using misogyny and ageism 🙄

Iggi999 · 24/07/2021 21:48

I have already stated in a previous post that if it was my name I would also be annoyed.
The difference between you and most posters on this thread is that even though it's not our name we are still annoyed on behalf of the people whose name it is.

Insertfunnyname · 24/07/2021 21:54

Wow that’s a hard hitting link. I did already empathise but now I really feel I get it.

Anyone who uses Karen as an insult should give their head a wobble.

mustlovegin · 25/07/2021 00:26

OP, I can empathise and understand why you did it, but no one should have to change their name because of a bunch of lunatics

Mistressofnone · 25/07/2021 10:54

Karen is my middle name and I am very fond of it. It's disgusting the way it is being used as an insult now. I'm so sorry you felt forced to change your name.

Mrshopley · 25/07/2021 20:36

I wonder how many people on this thread who are outraged about people named Karen having to change their name are equally outraged that many minority people in the USA, Canada, UK , Australia have to change their name to a more "white sounding" names all the time just so their CV isn't thrown in the bin? The name Karen is very common in generation X women and clearly many people feel many women of this generation behave in disturbing ways for whatever reason. That's why it's Karen and not Olivia or Ava.

Halfwaytoholiday · 25/07/2021 20:38

That's not why.

beastlyslumber · 25/07/2021 20:52

I wonder how many people on this thread who are outraged about people named Karen having to change their name are equally outraged that many minority people in the USA, Canada, UK , Australia have to change their name to a more "white sounding" names all the time just so their CV isn't thrown in the bin?

The vast majority of us, I expect.

igelkott2021 · 25/07/2021 20:56

The name Karen is very common in generation X women and clearly many people feel many women of this generation behave in disturbing ways for whatever reason

That's not why. I have said above why it is. Women should be seen and not heard and those over 40 in particular. People simply don't like women (over a certain age) having opinions.

And yes it's outrageous that women with non-English/white-sounding names have to change their names to get interviews but you could start another thread about discrimination in recruitment (backed up by discriminatory algorithms).

celandiney · 25/07/2021 21:06

@Mrshopley

I wonder how many people on this thread who are outraged about people named Karen having to change their name are equally outraged that many minority people in the USA, Canada, UK , Australia have to change their name to a more "white sounding" names all the time just so their CV isn't thrown in the bin? The name Karen is very common in generation X women and clearly many people feel many women of this generation behave in disturbing ways for whatever reason. That's why it's Karen and not Olivia or Ava.
So two wrongs make a right,do they? And "some women in a generation are perceived as behaving in unacceptable ways - whether they are or not - so we will take a typical name for that generation,use it as an insult,and drag and upset in a whole lot of lovely,innocent people" is also okay? And Karens Gen X? Really? I'm in my 60s and I would assume Karens were my age. ( and yes,I am outraged that anyone has to change their name because otherwise they will face discrimination)
ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 25/07/2021 21:09

it's not accepting my name
🤣🤣🤣

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 26/07/2021 09:15

@Mrshopley

I wonder how many people on this thread who are outraged about people named Karen having to change their name are equally outraged that many minority people in the USA, Canada, UK , Australia have to change their name to a more "white sounding" names all the time just so their CV isn't thrown in the bin? The name Karen is very common in generation X women and clearly many people feel many women of this generation behave in disturbing ways for whatever reason. That's why it's Karen and not Olivia or Ava.
Yes, any decent person would be equally outraged by both, I would hope.

It's just that this is a thread about a particular issue which has affected the OP personally, which is why the discussion has focused on that issue.

Mountainheart · 26/07/2021 09:34

I love the name Karen, ond of my best friends' name is Karen. It also reminds me of Karen Carpenter and her beautiful voice.

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