Karen is my name

[Squills]

Recently someone posted a photo of a hairstyle she was considering... apparently it is a 'Karen' hairstyle and people quickly voiced their disapproval, not so much of the actual hair style, but of the association with 'Karen'.

My name was Karen until I changed it earlier this year.

I felt increasingly hurt and upset when, on an almost daily basis, I'd read or watch someone being vile about my name.

I felt uncertain whether to make the change as I hoped given time it would all die down... but it hasn't. The deciding factor came when I saw someone carrying a placard stating 'We say Karen to be nice, what we mean is cunt'.

Changing my name was fairly easy but time consuming. It was worth the cost and the effort though as I feel relieved to be able to introduce myself without embarrassment. I didn't realise fully how badly it was affecting me until I made the change.

If you want to get an idea of how it feels to have your name dragged through the mud enter your name into the Empathy Generator in the link below.

karenismyname.org/renamer

When you consider how much thought parents give to naming their baby, think how they feel now their chosen name is now considered an insult on a par with the word cunt.

MN deleted a stupid AIBU the other day started by a troll. Their deletion mention should have tackled the issue (misogyny and ageism) but it didn't.

Oh, the thread title was "i think I've been a Karen"

I've always loved the name Karen! I'm sorry it's been turned into an insult, I'm sorry you've had to change it.

That's disgraceful, OP. I'm sorry that you felt you had to change your name. It's worse still that so many women use another woman's name as an insult. Without exception, anybody who does this is stupid.

@IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves

I absolutely hate it. I understand its origin but it is used by men as a silencing technique. Stand up for yourself - you're a Karen. Don't Be Nice aka a doormat - you're a Karen. Exist as a middle aged woman - you're a Karen.

It's like that whole be kind nonsense. It means shut up, woman

Yes, it is a means of silencing women. I'm sure it is used by men but sadly a lot of women use it against their own, albeit older, kind.

A fairly recent example was when the BBC produced a podcast (which I believe was taken down) where the presenter posed a question to her two young invited guests 'How can white women not be Karens?' They jumped on the opportunity to voice their opinions saying Karens need to 'educate themselves, read some books, be less loud, just shut up and basically get out of the way'.

I'm no shrinking violet but it really got to me. Of course you never actually have anyone say anything to your face so its not something you can confront.

I wonder how many others have changed their name.

It's revolting how Karen is now a derogatory term.

We need a standard phrase that we use to call out this behaviour.

Wow, at first it was funny seeing my name in that context but as i scrolled I felt more and more demoralised and sad.
Now I know how women called Karen must feel...dont know how people still think its ok to post these memes.

It's so sad you've had to change your name. I love the name Karen, and have always thought it was horrible and misogynist to use it as an insult. The 'empathy generator' is fab.

The Karen I know is great. Mid-40s, a very dry sense of humour and extremely stylish. The way the name is used online and in the media is pure misogyny. Men must love it as it deflects from their bullshit. Why worry about male violence when middle-aged women are complaining in restaurants, hey?

I'm so sorry, Squills.

I have rejected the 'Karen' business for the reasons you outline. It's horrible to use a name like that.

It's an American import which has caught on just a little bit here.

We need to stand up and reject it wholeheartedly. Imagine how we would feel if it was our names?

Thankfully we can call ourselves whatever we choose but nobody should have to do that because of a stupid, mindless trend.

Ive just done it with my name. Im not fussed by the generator because its some made up crap that doesnt reflect me. The only place I ever hear about 'Karen' is on MN tbh. I dont see it on memes anymore on social media. I think, irl, its been and gone and the fact that MN keeps relentlessly talking about it is sad.

I should also say last name was 'Pollard' when the charactor Vicky Pollard was at her most well known. It was when I was a young teenager and I suspect ive grown a thick skin about stuff like this.

I love the name Karen, and know some lovely women with that name. I’m sorry you’ve felt driven to change your name.

It feels very sinister to me the way this hatred of middle aged women is being stirred up. It might be because I’ve spent too much time on MN, but I wonder if it’s linked to the rise in efforts to normalise paedophilia; targeting and undermining the group who protect children most staunchly. History doesn’t offer much comfort when anti-women trends take hold.

I am very sorry OP that you’ve felt the need to change your name.

I think this is something which has propagated a lot on social media, as I don’t really spend much time on it, I’ve only come across it being mentioned a few times and not excessively offensive.

I’ve been very much tempted that when I see someone write about a Karen to just pop up and say “Hello! I’m heeeeere!!!” jovially to see their reaction but I like my privacy. I’m not personally offended, they could pick any name to make a joke about.

Weirdly I went to school with 2 other Karens, and we all also had the same surname, pronounced the same but spelt differently which was quite amusing!

It’s just a name after all. Don’t forget the people spouting this crap are of the fingers first, think later (or not at all) brigade.

I quite like my name, I’ve had it for decades and I’m not about to get rid of it anytime soon.

I don't think it's mysogynistic or ageist if the person being targeted is actually doing something wrong. So many racists, transphobes, etc are called 'Karen' and try to claim the ageism/sexism card as if that's worse than what they're doing/saying. It's not an attack of nice people called Karen, it's just a weird slang term that will eventually get old and change.

My name is Karen. My Mum, who is sadly no longer with us, loved the name and would be so upset with the connections to the name now. However, I wouldn't change my name because although I absolutely hate all the memes etc, it's the name my mum gave me. I could just imagine her standing at the pearly gates when it's my time to shuffle off, hand on hips saying 'you changed your name to what??!!, hell is that way ➡️'

We shouldn't wait for it to get 'old and change'. We wouldn't do that with other derogatory terms so why is it ok for this one?

I don't mean to pick on your post Raindrops but it does smack of 'ignore it'. We shouldn't ignore it, it should be stamped on, hard and loud. Every time it crops up.

Apparently the male equivalent of karen is, Chad/Ian having never lived in America we dont see the name Chad in the UK much but i would associate Ian with a slightly younger generation than Karen?
Apparently Ian is, the Uk equivalent a shouty middle aged man??

It's really morphed into a completely different thing. I initially thought it was ok as there was at least a catch-all name to describe the behaviour of specific demographic but it was totally co-opted and never a good idea in the first place as it erases all accountability of people who behave in certain ways and it's turned into some kind of put down / joke.

@RaindropsOnRosie

I don't think it's mysogynistic or ageist if the person being targeted is actually doing something wrong. So many racists, transphobes, etc are called 'Karen' and try to claim the ageism/sexism card as if that's worse than what they're doing/saying. It's not an attack of nice people called Karen, it's just a weird slang term that will eventually get old and change.

So many racists and transphobes are called Karen?

What evidence do you have for saying that?

@Squills

Recently someone posted a photo of a hairstyle she was considering... apparently it is a 'Karen' hairstyle and people quickly voiced their disapproval, not so much of the actual hair style, but of the association with 'Karen'.

My name was Karen until I changed it earlier this year.

I felt increasingly hurt and upset when, on an almost daily basis, I'd read or watch someone being vile about my name.

I felt uncertain whether to make the change as I hoped given time it would all die down... but it hasn't. The deciding factor came when I saw someone carrying a placard stating 'We say Karen to be nice, what we mean is cunt'.

Changing my name was fairly easy but time consuming. It was worth the cost and the effort though as I feel relieved to be able to introduce myself without embarrassment. I didn't realise fully how badly it was affecting me until I made the change.

If you want to get an idea of how it feels to have your name dragged through the mud enter your name into the Empathy Generator in the link below.

karenismyname.org/renamer

When you consider how much thought parents give to naming their baby, think how they feel now their chosen name is now considered an insult on a par with the word cunt.

Wow. That website is awful to read. I hate the use of Karen in that way but that really displays how awful it is.

My real name is Karen ive considered changing my name everything I say publicly and indeed privately is mocked and derided because I'm "karen" im job hunting soon im dreading it i usually work in customer service will people even hire me? Its got so bad in the Midlands lately I had to resolve an issue a simple one whats your name? Karen....well im a manager so you don't need to ask to speak to me fml it was a simple issue two second resolve a simple till mistake and you need to mention it! I really wanted to say train your staff fucking better and it won't happen but of course that's "karen" behaviour so I just looked puzzled and carried on asking for them to correct the mistake for this im looked upon as Unreasonable

@RaindropsOnRosie - what a load of shite.

Karen, Gammon and Snowflake are all equally awful derogatory names for specific groups in society. I completely agree that the term Karen is designed to silence middle aged women.

@RaindropsOnRosie

I don't think it's mysogynistic or ageist if the person being targeted is actually doing something wrong. So many racists, transphobes, etc are called 'Karen' and try to claim the ageism/sexism card as if that's worse than what they're doing/saying. It's not an attack of nice people called Karen, it's just a weird slang term that will eventually get old and change.

So much bullshit its unreal

I’ve got a friend called Karen. It upsets me every time l see it. She’s lovely😔

If you re-read the first three words of my post, you'll realise it's my opinion based off my experiences and thoughts, not a fact.