Karen is my name

[Squills]

Recently someone posted a photo of a hairstyle she was considering... apparently it is a 'Karen' hairstyle and people quickly voiced their disapproval, not so much of the actual hair style, but of the association with 'Karen'.

My name was Karen until I changed it earlier this year.

I felt increasingly hurt and upset when, on an almost daily basis, I'd read or watch someone being vile about my name.

I felt uncertain whether to make the change as I hoped given time it would all die down... but it hasn't. The deciding factor came when I saw someone carrying a placard stating 'We say Karen to be nice, what we mean is cunt'.

Changing my name was fairly easy but time consuming. It was worth the cost and the effort though as I feel relieved to be able to introduce myself without embarrassment. I didn't realise fully how badly it was affecting me until I made the change.

If you want to get an idea of how it feels to have your name dragged through the mud enter your name into the Empathy Generator in the link below.

karenismyname.org/renamer

When you consider how much thought parents give to naming their baby, think how they feel now their chosen name is now considered an insult on a par with the word cunt.

What I find interesting about the fervour with which the Woke Bros have adopted “Karen” is that realistically Dereks do far more damage.

I see Karen a lot too, and it's not my name so I'm probably much less observant/conscious of it than someone called Karen would be.

That website is quite an eye-opener. I actually found it very uncomfortable seeing my name on all the memes and posts and had to stop reading.

Sorry, OP

Yes, it’s really odd that’s it’s been adopted by the #bekind crowd.

Actually there is a Karen who has done a lot of harm: Karen White, a male sexual offender who posed as a trans woman in order to get into a women’s jail and then assaulted a bunch of women.

@Lessthanaballpark

Actually there is a Karen who has done a lot of harm: Karen White, a male sexual offender who posed as a trans woman in order to get into a women’s jail and then assaulted a bunch of women.

Will it be recorded as a female crime stat I wonder? The decepticons usually favour Tara , Fallon and such mind you. Karen is a lovely name. Intriguing that the male version Chad never really caught on.

MyNameIsKaren
I’ve been very much tempted that when I see someone write about a Karen to just pop up and say “Hello! I’m heeeeere!!!” jovially to see their reaction but I like my privacy. I’m not personally offended, they could pick any name to make a joke about.

The problem is that it isn't used as a joke. If you go to the link contained in my first post you'll see the true extent of the hate behind the use of the name.

Sorry, I'd hoped to put the quote from @MyNameIsKaren's post in bold but it hasn't worked.

@Squills if you don't mind me asking - how did your friends and family react to your decision? Were they understanding? Are family members fine using your new name?

I know people change name for all sorts of reasons, but usually it's because they want to rather than being forced into it , so it must be a strange and unpleasant situation to be in.

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

I don't mind you asking at all...

My friends and family fully accepted my decision. It is quite difficult for them to get used to calling me by my new name though, as you can imagine.

I feel huge relief to have changed it. As I said earlier, I didn't realise quite how badly I'd been affected until I made the change.

To actually get everything sorted took much longer than normal because of the virus. There's a huge amount of paperwork involved to make the change but I now have passport, driving licence, all legal documents, insurance, etc, etc in my new name.

Surprisingly dealing with my bank was by far the worst. It took them around 6 months change my accounts! Passport, legal documents, etc were relatively quick and easy.

I stated American cases because I believe that’s where the term started.

You are very lucky if you have not met this type of person in the UK. They are here.

Again with the generalisation, RisingSun.

A

@RisingSunn

I stated American cases because I believe that’s where the term started.

You are very lucky if you have not met this type of person in the UK. They are here.

It is a different culture in the USA to some extent

It's not easy to get through to the police here

RisingSunn your logic is baffling.

@RisingSunn

I stated American cases because I believe that’s where the term started.

You are very lucky if you have not met this type of person in the UK. They are here.

You appear to be spectacularly missing the point.

We all know those people exist, no one is denying it. We are not discussing them. We are discussing using someone name as an insult/derogatory term.
I got told off in primary school for doing this. Mad how grown adults are doing it.

Yes, it's all very childish and generalising

Squills how did you choose your new name?

@Squills god, yes, I bet it's utterly daunting when you first start out.

As it happens, I recently met the first Karen I'd encountered since secondary school. I came into contact with her through work, and it felt genuinely weird and uncomfortable to write things like "Thanks Karen" in emails.

@stairway

Squills how did you choose your new name?

I didn't want to change my initials so I picked a very traditional name starting with the same letter... it gets shortened to Kat by my friends - much to the disgust of my dog!

I know some lovely Karen’s. It’s awful using my friends name as a put down. It’s only ever applied to women who are white and older, seems misogynistic

@RaindropsOnRosie

I don't think it's mysogynistic or ageist if the person being targeted is actually doing something wrong. So many racists, transphobes, etc are called 'Karen' and try to claim the ageism/sexism card as if that's worse than what they're doing/saying. It's not an attack of nice people called Karen, it's just a weird slang term that will eventually get old and change.

But they're not being racist or homo/transphobic. They are committing the hideous crime of being a woman over 40 in possession of an opinion. Social media doesn't like women having an opinion full stop but if you are over 40 - well how very dare you.

If you think it's only being used against women who are expressing genuinely unacceptable views, you are mistaken. Did you actually look at the empathy generator?

You are very lucky if you have not met this type of person in the UK. They are here

Yes of course there are people with unpleasant views in the UK. But if you do not like their views, you say" that is a transphobic comment and I find it unacceptable". You don't just say "don't be a Karen" because in the UK, that is a name very often used in over 45 women, so you are being sexist and ageist. Criticise the behaviour, don't just fall into lazy memes.

And where's the equivalent for men? There isn't one, because men are allowed opinions, even unpleasant ones, unless they do something really stupid like Savills estate agent man.

I'm sorry you had to go through this. I'm a Sharon but that and Tracey seems to be long gone.

@Saltyslug

I know some lovely Karen’s. It’s awful using my friends name as a put down. It’s only ever applied to women who are white and older, seems misogynistic

Yes, do other groups of society complain or need to speak to managers

It’s never used as a joke. It’s ageist, sexist and racist. “Karen” is always middle aged, white and has the temerity to assert herself. It’s absolutely hateful.

I have seen reference to a badly behaved man as a "male Karen" which just sums up how misogynistic the term really is. The one thing they'll give women over men. .