Karen is my name

[Squills]

Recently someone posted a photo of a hairstyle she was considering... apparently it is a 'Karen' hairstyle and people quickly voiced their disapproval, not so much of the actual hair style, but of the association with 'Karen'.

My name was Karen until I changed it earlier this year.

I felt increasingly hurt and upset when, on an almost daily basis, I'd read or watch someone being vile about my name.

I felt uncertain whether to make the change as I hoped given time it would all die down... but it hasn't. The deciding factor came when I saw someone carrying a placard stating 'We say Karen to be nice, what we mean is cunt'.

Changing my name was fairly easy but time consuming. It was worth the cost and the effort though as I feel relieved to be able to introduce myself without embarrassment. I didn't realise fully how badly it was affecting me until I made the change.

If you want to get an idea of how it feels to have your name dragged through the mud enter your name into the Empathy Generator in the link below.

karenismyname.org/renamer

When you consider how much thought parents give to naming their baby, think how they feel now their chosen name is now considered an insult on a par with the word cunt.

On Reddit they have a sub-forum called bleep you Karen with 2 million members

I've no idea where this all came from and why that name came to be chosen

I think it’s horrible the way Karen has been adopted in this way.

Omg @Squills that link is so upsetting and important.

Felt sick when it was my name.

Hate the appropriation of Karen-it is absolutely vile and needs to stop but if you try to stop it then you are accused of being a Karen.

What another great way to silence women

well i can understand why you have done this op , but surely im not the only one that thinks its fucking shocking that a person feels forced to change their name which was given to them with love by their parents , the name they grew up with because of this shitty pathetic contonation now applied to it . its good that you are feeling better now op , but heres a vitual hug anyway , im sure on some levels your decision must have been hard

@enchantedstar

Agree with you. I just did it for my name and I hated the Karen ‘thing’ before but I really understand now

This

You’re seeing Karen used as a derogatory term on an almost daily basis?

How extraordinary.

Wow. Its awful when you put in your own name.

Thats actually really valuable for everyone to learn.

I'm so sorry your (lovely) name has been crapped all over OP

I don’t see it as silencing middle aged women at all.

I see it as calling out a certain ‘type’ of woman. This type of woman calls the police on black men bird watching in the park. And makes sure she cries ‘it’s an African American! (with feigned fear for effect)

This woman calls the police after seeing a black male in her halls of residence (though he is a student there).

This woman calls the police on an 8 year old selling lemonade on the pavement.

This woman arrogantly tells a family to leave a private park/gardens assuming they don’t live there.

It is unfortunate that your name has been used. I would be annoyed if it were my name.

But I’m glad they are now being called out!

We're not American though.

And yet it's a thing here.

?????

@RisingSunn

I don’t see it as silencing middle aged women at all.

I see it as calling out a certain ‘type’ of woman. This type of woman calls the police on black men bird watching in the park. And makes sure she cries ‘it’s an African American! (with feigned fear for effect)

This woman calls the police after seeing a black male in her halls of residence (though he is a student there).

This woman calls the police on an 8 year old selling lemonade on the pavement.

This woman arrogantly tells a family to leave a private park/gardens assuming they don’t live there.

It is unfortunate that your name has been used. I would be annoyed if it were my name.

But I’m glad they are now being called out!

Those people all have real names why not use them?

@MissTrip82

You’re seeing Karen used as a derogatory term on an almost daily basis?

How extraordinary.

The only place I see 'Karen' stuff on a daily basis in on MN. Theres nothing anymore on any of my social media playforms.

@MissTrip82

You’re seeing Karen used as a derogatory term on an almost daily basis?

How extraordinary.

In answer to your question… yes I do. I didn’t change my name without good reason.

Apart from an occasional look at mumsnet I don’t use forums. I don’t use Facebook, Twitter, etc, etc. However, I do read and watch YouTube. Without doubt if you’re not called Karen things wouldn’t jump out at you as they do for me but they are definitely there nonetheless.

There is even an upcoming film called Karen…

You’re seeing Karen used as a derogatory term on an almost daily basis?

How extraordinary.

Are you saying OP is looking for something to be offended? Surely not, that would be victim blaming and you've always been a sensible poster,
and I'm sure you realise how unpleasant it is.

So why is it extraordinary?

RisingSunn

Generalising much? Type of woman to do this or that?

All your examples have names for the behaviour used, why don't you use them? This is what I mean by lazy name calling.

@MissTrip82

You’re seeing Karen used as a derogatory term on an almost daily basis?

How extraordinary.

I follow quite a few newspapers on Facebook and you can see it in their comments every single day. Same on YouTube. Not only do I see it all the time, it's still met with "hilarity" and if you call it out, they double down and level it at you instead.

@RisingSunn

I don’t see it as silencing middle aged women at all.

I see it as calling out a certain ‘type’ of woman. This type of woman calls the police on black men bird watching in the park. And makes sure she cries ‘it’s an African American! (with feigned fear for effect)

This woman calls the police after seeing a black male in her halls of residence (though he is a student there).

This woman calls the police on an 8 year old selling lemonade on the pavement.

This woman arrogantly tells a family to leave a private park/gardens assuming they don’t live there.

It is unfortunate that your name has been used. I would be annoyed if it were my name.

But I’m glad they are now being called out!

See all those women have names too. But its easier to use a lazy slur (that gets filtered down and used when women are doing completely normal things) than to address the issue. These are all American incidents too, we're not in America.

@MissTrip82

You’re seeing Karen used as a derogatory term on an almost daily basis?

How extraordinary.

I see it daily. Recently I saw a Facebook post by Boots who wanted to highlight a good deed done my a member of staff in a pharmacy. The staff member was called Karen. The comments were full of “hahaha! Her name is Karen!” comments.

@Phyllis321

I absolutely hate it. It’s misogynistic and ageist. It doesn’t even ‘work’ outside the USA due to the different socioeconomic connotations of the name. Pathetic.

I totally agree with you.

OP thank you so much for sharing this and I'm so sorry you had to change your name.

I already disliked Karen as an insult, for many of the reasons pps have stated (also it is just so overused now) but I have never actively called it out. I will now.

@User24689

OP thank you so much for sharing this and I'm so sorry you had to change your name.

I already disliked Karen as an insult, for many of the reasons pps have stated (also it is just so overused now) but I have never actively called it out. I will now.

Thank you and thanks to those of you who who have been so sympathetic and supportive.

I was very unsure about posting on this topic - I feared that I’d be ridiculed.

Calling out entitled behaviour, unreasonableness, people trying to use their status or wealth to bully people to respond in a certain way is something reasonable to do. Using a specific name as an insult is not.

All the women I have known called Karen have been pleasant, courteous and helpful. As far from a term of abuse as possible.

I know anyone called Karen, but I definitely call out this insult. I had to have quite a long conversation with teen DD about it because she thought it was perfectly fine. Yea, she seems it regularly on SM. Personally I don't see it regularly because I don't use SM in the same was as DD, the to the poster remarking It's extraordinary to see it almost daily,it really isn't. Try to use your imagination.

I do feel for anyone called Karen. I'd like to think i would be strong enough not to change my name and use it proudly, but I'm not sure that's true.

My name is Karen and if anyone ever tried to make a derogatory remark about my name to me, DH or any of my friends let me tell you they'd get it with both barrels IRL or on social media.

I keep rejecting the term as all the women I know called Karen are kind women generous with their time who I like.

It’s wrong to dismiss women’s feelings, younger women go along with things that make them feel uncomfortable but once you reach mid 40s you just don’t care anymore, you’ve been ‘kind’ for years and where has it got you? NOWHERE.

@MissTrip82

You’re seeing Karen used as a derogatory term on an almost daily basis?

How extraordinary.

I hear it ALL THE TIME. The other day my boss assumed a lady called Karen would be “a Karen” for instance. She wasn’t, she was lovely, but the damage was done in my boss’s head.