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Original poster

I've ruined my life

89 replies

UKhomemaker · 19/07/2021 18:36

I've eaten junk and not exercised and drunk fizzy pop to the point where I am so far overweight. I can't seem to crack the habit. I look at myself and am disgusted because I have essentially taken a healthy body and destroyed it. My confidence is rock bottom & affects every area of my life. I hate people looking at me. I dress to hide. I don't feel worthy of nice things or worth the time to make an effort with my appearance.

I'm just so ashamed. And I don't know how to fix myself.

OP posts:

LizziesTwin · 19/07/2021 18:38

Little steps.

You are worth the same as anyone else, we’re all just the same. Can you take one little step today to take care of yourself? Have a nice cool shower & put on fresh clothes afterwards? Something you will benefit from.

Velvetbee · 19/07/2021 18:39

I just want to hug you, I can hear the pain behind your words. You’ve made choices that gave immediate pleasure but weren’t the best in the long run. You can turn this around.

Thisisthemonth · 19/07/2021 18:40

You start with your next meal and your first bit of exercise and only worry about the one after that. don't think too far ahead about how much you need to lose. begin now - the time will keep passing and you will get to your goal.

VeganVeal · 19/07/2021 19:01

@LizziesTwin

Little steps.

I agree, little steps, dont go over doing it if you're not fit. Build up slowly

waterlego · 19/07/2021 19:04

It’s never too late to make changes that can benefit you. And you don’t have to change everything all at once.

Try, as much as possible, to expel that feeling of shame. It is an awful, unhelpful emotion. You are worthy and deserving of love, as we all are.

💐

LittleOverWhelmed · 19/07/2021 19:04

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

toocold54 · 19/07/2021 19:06

I agree small steps don’t do any of these fad diets that don’t work.
Switch to diet fizzy.
Eat lower calorie junk or smaller portions of it.
Start by going for a 15min walk every day.

adagio · 19/07/2021 19:07

Small steps but learn a coping mechanism - large glass of water, some cucumber, go for a walk - tell yourself if you still want that can of pop later then you can, but water and a walk first.

Listen to positive podcasts, try to remember times when you feel good, lose yourself for hours on planning recipes (that you will probably never cook but it’s a distraction).

Stop buying crap food (that’s my nemesis!)

Tealwarrior · 19/07/2021 19:07

Op, please don’t be so hard on yourself.

My son in law is a GP and he usually suggests to people that they choose one thing to try and change for a month before trying to change another one thing. Basically baby steps as suggested by a previous poster.

Would substituting your fizzy pop for a sparkling water be something you could consider just for a start?

I really do wish you well.

Comedycook · 19/07/2021 19:08

In the nicest possible way, don't catastrophise this. You've put on weight...loads of people do, especially recently. It's fixable. Start drinking more water and go on a walk every day. Make some small changes

quizqueen · 19/07/2021 19:12

Don't have temptation in the house and try and fill up on healthy foods. Drink a pint of water before you put anything in your mouth and it will fill you up so you don't want as much.

FindingMeno · 19/07/2021 19:12

You do realise that you've shown huge strength acknowledging that you should make some changes, I hope?
I honestly believe that when you want to change for health rather than looks, you are a good way to the mindset you need.
Listen to that voice inside. Once you start on a healthy journey you will actually want to continue because it feels so good.

unsure111 · 19/07/2021 19:14

I felt the exact same as you. And ate and drank the same as. I drank nothing but pepsi max, could have up to 8 packets of crisps a day and had really quick unhealthy teas. For my breakfast I'd have 4 packets of crisps. I absolutely hated myself couldn't look in the mirror, just wore leggings and a black top constantly. Then one day just over a month ago I stopped. Haven't touched any chocolate or crisps since. I've lost a stone and still have a long way to go but I can't tell you how much it's built my confidence. I couldn't even walk outside by myself now I'm out walking and jogging. You have to be in the right frame of mind have a small goal and once you get a taste of that little bit of confidence and you start seeing the difference in your clothes it eggs you on to keep going. You CAN do it and feel better once you put your mind to it.

FlorrieLindley · 19/07/2021 19:17

I'm going to pass on a very simple piece of advice which was given to me.

It's baby steps. Try not to look at the bigger picture, just tomorrow, and then you look at the next day, and so on, and this is what you do:

You stop all junk food, biscuits, cakes, sweets etc, and you take a 30 minute walk every day.

These simple instructions allowed me to get a handle on things.

After about 3 weeks you will see a difference which will motivate you to taken on more exercise challenges (there was no way I could have gone to a gym or taken up running to begin with - but a walk? Well, I could manage that!).

Good luck!

Wallpapering · 19/07/2021 19:18

You haven’t ruined your life as not too late to make changes but I agree with other posters about small steps - one change at time.

There are some great support threads in weight loss subs, definitely worth a read.

You are not alone i for one need serious kick up arse as things gone to shit, so if you start new thread in that section you will have fellow newbie of me to keep you company in making small steps to making lifestyle improvements

Ella15 · 19/07/2021 19:20

First of all you are worth taking the time for and deserve nice things as much as anyone. So many of us have got stuck in bad habits like this before but they do not define you. Small steps, purposely make your portions a bit smaller, drink water and add a touch of Robinsons to taste but you can still have a can or two of diet coke a day while you focus on changing up your food. Reducing the window when you eat can really help too. I skip breakfast but have coffee, a light lunch and a bigger dinner with a treat for after and I don't feel like I'm depriving myself. And keep yourself busy and distracted - walk walk walk if you can. Get some light weights and commit to 10 mins a day following a YouTube vid. If you miss a day not a prob just make sure you pick it up the next day again. Basically small doable changes might have more of a longer term impact than going full on diet and exercise. You'll see little results and it'll spur you on - you just have to start somewhere. And do your nails, get some new make up. Don't be so hard on yourself, it's been the toughest 18 months, you deserve self care. And you have absolutely not ruined your life.

beigebrownblue · 19/07/2021 19:23

Friend of mine as thirty six stone in Jan.

She has lost ten stone with medical help.

You can turn this around. I need to lose weight to for my health.

You can do this.

Wouldyoudothesame · 19/07/2021 19:24

Hello OP, Just like other pp have said, small steps. Walk for 15 mins, have a healthier breakfast or switch the fizzy drinks to diet.
Just one of those things. Once you start achieving something small, you can start feeling better about yourself and this will motivate you more. It's unlikely that eating and being unhealthy comes from nowhere so seeking emotional support from a counselor would be a really positive step in the right direction. Treat yourself to some nice make up or hair products and boost your confidence. Be kind to yourself and don't let that inner critic drown you out. If you notice that you're telling yourself mean things then think about whether you would say the same comments to a friend. Tomorrow is a new day xx

iwouldlikearefundonmybody · 19/07/2021 19:33

I feel the same as you op.
Had a very difficult year which has meant lack of exercise. And can't seem to give up fizzy drinks.

Beechview · 19/07/2021 19:35

You haven’t ruined your life. You’ve just decided you want to change things because the old way doesn’t serve you anymore.

toolazytothinkofausername · 19/07/2021 19:37

You have not ruined your life, but mentally you have hit a brick wall.

Know this, there are ways you can smash that wall and be the size you want to be!

Maddy456 · 19/07/2021 19:41

Join the intermittent fasting Facebook groups for inspiration and tips. You can change your life! Please don’t give up on yourself x

2018SoFarSoGreat · 19/07/2021 19:45

ah, OP, you are being really hard on yourself! If this is fairly recent weight gain, you can get it off. It is much easier if you haven't always been battling your weight.

Little tiny baby steps. That's the way to do it. One day at a time. You will see a difference really fast, if you give up the fizzy drinks and just walk around the house as much as you can stand. Or outside, just go do it, even 10 minutes two or three times a day will get you going. You can do it! I know you can.

AffableApple · 19/07/2021 19:47

Get a Fitbit or step counter, and give yourself a daily target for steps. Drink plenty of water. Take diet changes slowly. Decide what changes you can make first in your diet. Deep breaths, and take it easy on yourself. It'll take time, but that's ok.

Mn753 · 19/07/2021 19:50

Just stop the fizzy drinks but change nothing else to start with. If you can crack the drinks then your tastes will naturally change. But it's hard so just start with that

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