I've ruined my life

[UKhomemaker]

I've eaten junk and not exercised and drunk fizzy pop to the point where I am so far overweight. I can't seem to crack the habit. I look at myself and am disgusted because I have essentially taken a healthy body and destroyed it. My confidence is rock bottom & affects every area of my life. I hate people looking at me. I dress to hide. I don't feel worthy of nice things or worth the time to make an effort with my appearance.

I'm just so ashamed. And I don't know how to fix myself.

My thin friend puts her knife and fork down between mouthfuls .Whereas I always find myself prepping the next mouthful before I finished the one in my mouth

Write a list of five things you do each day that you’re proud of. It can be “walked upstairs” or “drunk Diet Coke” or “parked further away”. Over time, keep adding things to it, or do things to go on it, like “stood up and walked around for a few minutes every hour”

Changing that negative voice in your head would help massively, you really don't deserve the verbal kicking you're giving yourself. Would you say the things you say to yourself to anyone else or would that be horrifically hurtful and you wouldn't dream of it? So why do you speak to yourself that way?

I've had to work really hard to be nicer to myself but it's made an enormous difference to my life and my ability to change the things I'm not happy with, it's hard to motivate yourself when you're constantly telling yourself how shit you are! I've essentially CBT'd myself I suppose, I've made a conscious effort to catch myself when I start thinking negative things and overlay that thought with something positive. It's hard to find the positives to start with (because they're buried under all the negative) but they are there and they get easier to see the more you practice the technique.

Everything comes easier when you're in the right mindset so that's what I'd tackle first, its worked for me as I've lost 3 stone over the year or so I've been doing it.

Would you consider Yoga, I've recently started doing it and I love it, I go to a class, I don't have the motivation for online or zoom. I find that it's gentle on my joints and makes me feel good.

Dr Chatterjee's books are great - Look at Feel Better in 5 - It has lots of 5 minute health improvements you can make. Or his new one is called Lose Weight - Feel Great, which is not a diet book, just full of sensible ways to be more healthy. You can borrow one of them from the library if you don't want to buy it. He also has a great podcast where you can pick topics that suit you.

I've met him a couple of times at events and he's lovely. He's very much focused on making sustainable changes to improve your health rather than faddy diets or gimmicks.

Gosh you’ve not ruined your life, that’s so over dramatic. You just need to loose some weight that’s all 💐

Ok so how far over weight are you? What are you playing with here?

@peridito - one really easy one is: do squats while you clean your teeth. Clean you teeth for two mins twice a day and that's quite a lot of squats.

The real benefit comes when the squats make you so much stronger that you leap up from the sofa if the house phone rings or there's someone at the door or you need to speak to someone not in hte same room as you, or the adverts have come on and you want a glass of water. Squats work the muscles that get you out of your seat easily and that means you move around more in lots of tiny ways every day.

I'm 5'1 and 14 stones. I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin. I hate looking at myself and things like running upstairs or putting my shoes on are a struggle.

That's pretty much exactly where I was, 5'1" and 14 stone! Down to 11 now literally just by walking more and eating less (but still probably too many) carbs. Would still like to lose another 2 stone and do seem to have plateaued a bit but I'm already so much more comfortable than I was, it doesn't wind me every time I bend down anymore at least But like I said a change in attitude came first for me, starting to take care of myself instead of beating myself up and hating myself all the time because all that does is sap your energy and motivation.

@UKhomemaker

I'm 5'1 and 14 stones. I'm so uncomfortable in my own skin. I hate looking at myself and things like running upstairs or putting my shoes on are a struggle.

Oh gosh, the way you were talking, I thought you must have been bigger. Yes, you're overweight but no one's going to be making a documentary about you! There's loads of people in the same situation. Ive been a similar weight to you and I'm only 5'2"...I wasn't especially happy and yes I did feel uncomfortable. This is very salvageable.

Make a list of the good food you like.

Fish, fruit, meat, veg. Yogurt, salads, cheese Etc

Then list the meals you can make.

Then make a menu for yourself. Ditch the fizz altogether. Water, add a slice of orange or lemon (I slice and freeze them in a food bag)

And dont be too hard on yourself. Takes time

@UKhomemaker
I’m the same, if you want to start a mini support group, I’d be up for it. I’ve moved house, got rid of exDH and just about ready to think of diet and exercise if it wasn’t for this heat.

Ah cmon, I was thinking you were double that! You can lose that, you know that.

Ok, decide how you want to do it. Low carb works for me, first two or three weeks are a bugger as you fat adapt them your appetite totally drops. It removes for me all cravings for sugar and carbs and gives me lots more energy .

We are all different though. Just think how you want to do it, and then we can help you.

@Weirdfan

That's pretty much exactly where I was, 5'1" and 14 stone! Down to 11 now literally just by walking more and eating less (but still probably too many) carbs. Would still like to lose another 2 stone and do seem to have plateaued a bit but I'm already so much more comfortable than I was, it doesn't wind me every time I bend down anymore at least But like I said a change in attitude came first for me, starting to take care of myself instead of beating myself up and hating myself all the time because all that does is sap your energy and motivation.

OP, this is a really good, sensible post. Just a few small changes make such a difference.

After you've lost a few pounds you start to notice it. Clothes are more comfortable. You have more energy, don't get breathless etc.