What parenting things do other people do that you absolutely refuse to do?

[FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]

I never bake my kids' birthday cakes. I can buy a very good supermarket one or pay someone to produce something that looks better than what I can do and has cost me less.

I won't do role playing with them. There are no scarier words than "mummy will you play with me - you be the dog and I'll be the owner". I apparently do it ALL WRONG anyway, I usually say something like "instead, why don't we do some painting" or I even say I'm busy. And I thank God every day the days of playing tea parties are over. Me perched on a very uncomfortable toadstool seat pretending to sip tea from a singing Fisher Price teacup for 2 hours and doing it wrong anyway 😂

Did not know dinovember was a thing. Something else we won't be doing.

[quote SmidgenofaPigeon]@81Byerley thank you so much for that xx[/quote]
You absolutely will be a great mum. You will also do loads of things that you currently swear you'll never do - yes, even though you're a nanny now - and that's absolutely fine too!

@Hardbackwriter oh I’m pretty sure vast parts of my carefully constructed benign dictatorship will crumble when faced with my own child

not parenting things, but baby related so I'm adding them:

no weird pg announcements
no baby showers
no gender reveal cakes/parties

I never reprimand for spills. I just clear it up without a comment or a simple "whoops!". My parents used to go nuts about spillages and I decided I don't want to be that way with my own DD.

@bongbigboobingbongbing

I'm the same, I just get a towel and ask them to help clean up. I realised I wanted to change my reactions when I saw DC gasp and freeze after spilling a drink in the kitchen - now I (and they) are a lot more relaxed x

Insist on a really early bedtime and then complain when they wake up at 6 am

Another thing that I’ve just thought of whilst doing the little ones’ lunch- paper plates! With 5 children at home I already have enough housework, washing, washing up etc to do- atleast it’s just eat and bin

Well elf on shelf is getting a pasting. Too right it’s creepy

Shop bought cakes are harshly judged in real life. At school there a mum who bakes and takes orders for cakes, she Charges ££40 to £60 Tbh I just think it’s so pricy when I can buy a few colin caterpillar. Yes I know the rationale goes well, it’s home made, she’s got to source ingredients, prepare,cook, hand finish. I don’t place that cost or value upon a cake and I think it’s a bit of a scam.

No 'naughty step' / 'controlled crying' or sleep training
No Nursery or childminder (they were ASD & didnt cope when we tried)
No Elf on Shelf / Xmas Eve boxes
No Disney TV or Visits, thank puff..
No fizzy drinks (fortunately, they don't like them)

but, apart from that, I'm like @Iggly:

"There wasn’t much I wouldn’t do with or for the kids - but that’s because I had a very very deprived childhood so I feel unsure with parenting and don’t want to cock up (so I over compensate) 😂😂"

Bake birthday cakes, any baking with kids
Elf on shelf
Christmas Eve boxes
Phonics or learning work other than reading

@BertieBotts

I know you you meant to the film set, the theme parks I was mentioning are like giant film sets but more fun even if you didn't go on a single "ride". That's what I meant not all theme parks are about rides..

Arts and crafts. I'm neither arty or crafty .... she has school and a arty grandparent!

Say "because I said so" . It drove me mad as a child. If I can't think of a good reason for whatever it is, then why am I pushing it.

Center Parcs, Disneyland, Bestival, package holidays. I would detest everything about all these, I know myself. They can do them when they are older/have their own children if they want to.

Treat my children as my unpaid therapist.

Cosleeping once past the first few hellish months. Making my own purées. BLW for the win.

@Chicchicchicchiclana

Center Parcs, Disneyland, Bestival, package holidays. I would detest everything about all these, I know myself. They can do them when they are older/have their own children if they want to.

Someone after my own heart. 😂

sleep training, or a strict routine
making them clear their plates
elf on the shelf

I love baking their birthday cakes though.

My brother makes my little niece go round and give everyone a kiss when they leave. (Fortunately not enforced in corona times ) and my mum used to make us go round kiss the random assorted elderly ladies gathered in my gran’s living room because that’s what she used to have to do herself.

I will never make my kid do this. I don’t enjoy kissing my niece either as she’s invariably drooly with a chin full of biscuit crumbs.

Potty/toilet training. 🚽

I always did elf on the shelf for my kids and one year as they were in their tweens they refused to clean their bedrooms. We had a naughty elf turn up and leave a note saying that if they didn't tidy their rooms then the nice elf they had always had would suffer a torturous end. The note was stuck to the duck tape that held the good elf splayed against the cupboard door in the kitchen.

The kids didn't believe it. I knew they would not.

So the following morning, they woke up in their messy bedrooms with a severed elf leg and an arm on their pillow along with a note saying " warned you- you are now on the very very naughty list along with me and Christmas is cancelled. I'm off to elf jail, what about you?" Never seen so many tears, so much tidying and apologies AND I got rid of the elves!!

I was a pretty easy parent tbh. I played tea parties but only with real cake. The one thing I flat out refused to do was early morning weekend activities. My eldest loved Morris dancing but you had to be up and out at 7am every Sunday to go and sit in a community hall that smells like feet and sick (I know I used to do it as a kid). So when my daughter said she wanted to join her mate I after that I would have the kids on a Friday night and she would then on the Saturday night and sort out the Morris dancing. Win!

Very consistent bedtime routine. Bath, bottle, story, night night. Close bedroom door. End of. Once in cot/bed they didn't leave their bedrooms after bedtime, as far as they knew downstairs ceased to exist. From about 6 months they both went to bed like a dream, zero fussing. The first time we holidayed with friends and their toddlers, DH and I watched in horror as, every night, they spent upwards of 2 hours just putting their DCs to bed

Never, ever tolerated or pandered to bad behaviour in public. If they tried kicking off in a cafe or shop they would get one warning. If they continued we would immediately leave - yes, this meant leaving a half eaten meal a few times, but it's amazing how fast they learned.

I refused to try and reason with someone who couldn't even tie their own shoe laces yet. From being tiny they knew that Mummy always said what she meant & meant what she said. No half baked threats or half hearted broken promises.

Still refuse to be their friend even though they're both late teens and very good company. I already have plenty of friends, thanks, as do they - and my relationship with my DDs is a very different dynamic (as it should be). I am what I call a Friendly Mum, but I'm always first & foremost their Mum. It's a different job description to being a friend.

I never instituted a 'bedtime routine'. We did plenty of reading, writing, drawing, having fun, cuddles, etc and they bathed everyday but at different times. I let them stay up with us until they were tired.

No bribery, no naughty step, no reward charts.

Yes to no naughty step or star charts

Can’t say I have never used bribery

Certainly no children music in the car

I’ve been quite lucky that I never had a bedtime routine ds is a good sleeper when he is tired he will go to sleep if he didn’t have a bath at night would have one in the morning. when we out he will sleep in my arms (too big now too)

We very routine obsessed in this country