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Original poster

To wonder why people are like this

119 replies

DuckyMcDuck · 15/07/2021 19:24

DS2 (13) currently plays cricket at county level. He is the only squad member who doesn't go to a private school and all of his kit, bat, bag etc aren't one of the top brands and some comes from Sports Direct.

He's mentioned a few times that some of the boys make barbed comments about this and have teased him in the past about the fact he hasn't ever been skiing or hasn't got the newest trainers but we've always told him to ignore, that children can be mean etc and to Ds's credit, he hasn't seemed overly bothered.

So I went to collect him from training last night as DH was working and stood waiting with the other parents. As DS came out, two women and a man who, obviously not recognising me, were saying some really nasty things about him, along the lines of 'well here comes the charity case' and very obviously laughing at him.

They went very quiet when they realised who I was and did have the grace to look sheepish but I honestly don't understand why they feel the need to be so mean about a child. It's obvious they must say stuff at home which has been picked by by their children.

I'm not sure why I'm posting really as I'm not sure that anyone is going to admit being like that towards a child and so I won't get an answer my question.

OP posts:
Etinox · 16/07/2021 13:41

@DuckyMcDuck- yes! what @ASatisfyingThump said, “Your DS plays at county level, he's earned his spot, I hope he's proud of that!”
Don’t let the tossers taint the achievement.

jesusmaryjosephandtheweedonkey · 16/07/2021 14:11

They are obviously aware of how talented your son is . He doesn't need the latest equipment to fit in, he's there purely on talent.
A quiet word with the coach will help but them back in their place

MrsKeats · 16/07/2021 14:47

I go to a coffee shop near a private school abs the way the kids speak to the baristas is awful.
Horrible snobbery. Please complain.

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MrsKeats · 16/07/2021 14:48

*and

PoppyFern · 16/07/2021 14:52

@MrsKeats

I go to a coffee shop near a private school abs the way the kids speak to the baristas is awful. Horrible snobbery. Please complain.
Well I chose my child's school precisely because I observed the local private school seniors being ever-so-polite to the coffee shop staff.

I was bowled over by the way they carried themselves confidently yet respectfully.

You get wankers in all walks of life and from all backgrounds.

Anon987654 · 16/07/2021 14:53

Money obviously doesn't lift you out of the scum pools of society. A great lesson for your DC today show how money can't make you a better person!

AdoptedBumpkin · 16/07/2021 14:56

They are shallow snobs. Try to be the bigger person and make them feel guilty.

Oneearringlost · 16/07/2021 15:49

Where do these people come from?

sizehelp · 16/07/2021 15:59

You get wankers in all walks of life and from all backgrounds.

Of course but that doesn't mean snobbery & entitlement doesn't exist.

sizehelp · 16/07/2021 15:59

in private schools that is.

PoppyFern · 16/07/2021 16:01

@sizehelp

You get wankers in all walks of life and from all backgrounds.

Of course but that doesn't mean snobbery & entitlement doesn't exist.

Of course it exists but it's not a private Vs state school thing.

I went to a state school, plenty of snobby entitled people there

My child is at a private school, lots of down to earth people there

sizehelp · 16/07/2021 16:04

I'm not sure about that, I've worked in state & private & my original career was dominated by those who had private education.I would argue there is a particularly entitlement in some not all & that it is more prevalent in private despite existing in state.

sizehelp · 16/07/2021 16:06

That's not to rubbish your experience as I'm sure its true I'm talking more generally.

MaMelon · 16/07/2021 16:13

I would agree sizehelp

PoppyFern · 16/07/2021 16:22

@sizehelp

I'm not sure about that, I've worked in state & private & my original career was dominated by those who had private education.I would argue there is a particularly entitlement in some not all & that it is more prevalent in private despite existing in state.
I can't comment on wider experience of private schools as I've only known my child's. I'm sure there are some dreadfully entitled people out there.

I just dislike sweeping statements about private schools because it's not my experience.

Most of us have sacrificed holidays and new cars to afford the fees.

While my neighbours have two flash new cars and are constantly updating their house and buying new things, my house is falling apart and we have one very old car between us.

It's just a question of priorities, neither is right or wrong.

MaMelon · 16/07/2021 16:28

Most of us have sacrificed holidays and new cars to afford the fees

The fact that you have chosen not to have holidays or new cars is irrelevant - the vast, vast majority of people still wouldn't be able to afford private school fees even if they did that. Furthermore, for many, not having a holiday or a car at all or having a falling down house is just their day to day reality that doesn't then give them £10k plus per child to spend on private education. It's really not just a case of 'priorities'.

I don't like generalisations either, but there is a prevalence of entitlement amongst private school pupils - that money infers a certain privilege in society.

dancealittleclosertome · 16/07/2021 16:31

Tell the club. Absolutely. Explain that your DS didn't want you to say anything, so they must be careful how they deal with it, but deal with it they must. In a way it's akin to racism, and that wouldn't be tolerated, so why should this? Disgusting people.

sizehelp · 16/07/2021 16:41

It's just a question of priorities, neither is right or wrong.

What's a question of priorities? private school? If you think the vast majority can afford private schools by foregoing holidays & new cars then you're incredibly out of touch.

PoppyFern · 16/07/2021 16:58

Of course I'm not saying that anyone can afford private fees if they try hard enough, I'm not stupid. If I had more than one child or couldn't work then I couldn't afford it.

I obviously worded it completely wrong but I was just saying that not everyone who sends their kid to private school lives a lavish lifestyle and buys the latest things, lots of us use second hand clothes and kit etc.

It's just a misconception that we all fly around in helicopters and guffaw at the plebs.

Obviously the people OP is talking about are utter cretins but that's no reason to tar all private school kids and their parents with the same brush, it's just another form of prejudice.

PerciphonePuma · 16/07/2021 17:02

Gobsmacked you let them say such vile shit about your child. I'd have gone ballistic.

OP, if you don't say something to the Coach then you're essentially allowing them to do it to someone else. Whereas if they get called out on it, they may think twice next time

sizehelp · 16/07/2021 17:05

I obviously worded it completely wrong but I was just saying that not everyone who sends their kid to private school lives a lavish lifestyle and buys the latest things, lots of us use second hand clothes and kit etc.

I wouldn't disagree with this & certainly is my experience re some schools Ive worked in.

sizehelp · 16/07/2021 17:07

Obviously the people OP is talking about are utter cretins but that's no reason to tar all private school kids and their parents with the same brush, it's just another form of prejudice.

And I wouldn't never tar an entire group of anything my point was if looking at entitlement imo it would be higher in private schools vs state schools.

Legoninjago1 · 16/07/2021 17:16

@SilverOak

The bullies are not wealthy people. They’ve only just managed to afford private school and they feel the need to put others down to make themselves feel better. The genuinely rich couldn’t care less what anyone else has got and don’t feel the need to put anyone down. In fact the richest person I ever met used to wear shoes with holes in because he liked them and he was too busy to go out shopping for new shoes.
Absolutely agree. In my experience of many private schools across the years, I've seldom come across this kind of shit. When I have it's been from a 'first time buyer' who clearly, deep down, lacks self confidence and puts others down to try to feel better.
MaMelon · 16/07/2021 17:18

I obviously worded it completely wrong but I was just saying that not everyone who sends their kid to private school lives a lavish lifestyle and buys the latest things, lots of us use second hand clothes and kit etc. It's just a misconception that we all fly around in helicopters and guffaw at the plebs.

I don’t think many people think you fly around in helicopters but surely you can accept that private school is not simply a case of adjusting your spending on non essentials?

Again I don’t think anyone is tarring all private school pupils and their parents with the same brush - just that there is more likely to be a level of entitlement at private schools than at state schools.

PoppyFern · 16/07/2021 17:22

I give up, obviously some of you just want to sneer and band together in some kind of us and them scenario which doesn't really exist outside your own prejudices.

Ironic really given OPs problem.