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Original poster

Do you agree with this statement regarding pain and child birth

173 replies

user6767 · 13/07/2021 22:29

Chatting to a few friends tonight about child birth. One of them made a statement that I had never really thought about before but I can definitely see her argument.

She basically said it's wrong that women have to bear the pain of childbirth. When for nearly all other invasive/painful procedures we would be given pain relief as standard. She pointed out whilst we do have options like epidural these are not standard and in the UK in particular a 'natural birth' is seen as ideal. Also that she thinks if men had to give birth there would already be many more pain relief options available by now.

I thought it was a really interesting view point. Wondering what others think?

OP posts:
Greybeardy · 14/07/2021 07:10

And even then you only get them in the UK where nurses and midwives are allowed to put in spinal taps. In places where epidurals are managed by anesthesists and standard eg the USA and India these side effects are almost unheard of. @Ozanj this is not true. (DOI: uk anaesthetist).

CrouchEndTiger12 · 14/07/2021 07:19

@Greybeardy

And even then you only get them in the UK where nurses and midwives are allowed to put in spinal taps. In places where epidurals are managed by anesthesists and standard eg the USA and India these side effects are almost unheard of. *@Ozanj* this is not true. (DOI: uk anaesthetist).
A nurse can put a needle in someone's spine and give anaesthetic in the UK?! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

No they can't. That's why so many women suffer...waiting for an anaesthetist to administer it.

Greybeardy · 14/07/2021 07:25

No, a nurse or midwife can’t do spinals or epidurals in the uk - that was my point!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3rd trimester Childbirth Families General health
CrouchEndTiger12 · 14/07/2021 07:26

@Greybeardy

No, a nurse or midwife can’t do spinals or epidurals in the uk - that was my point!
I know!!!! Sorry that was directed at the poster who said they could. I knew you were saying that! Flowers
RavenclawsRoar · 14/07/2021 07:35

Agree. I think it's disgusting how much pain women are expected to go through. I do know there are women who prefer no pain relief and who have positive experiences but I found it absolutely horrific and brutal. Best way I can describe it is being turned inside out while being split in half. I think all women should have access to immediate and effective pain relief if they want it.

KeflavikAirport · 14/07/2021 07:38

Maternal mortality was insanely high before modern medicine

Still is. 800,000 deaths a year worldwide.

JustLyra · 14/07/2021 07:41

There’s not a single abdominal operation that a man would have where he’d be given, reluctantly, only paracetamol afterwards.

I worked with a woman who went into labour early with twins. She ended up with a tear from the first one then needed a c-section for the second. Two paracetamol was her post op pain relief, and even then it took over an hour from when she asked to when it arrived

Greybeardy · 14/07/2021 07:44

@CrouchEndTiger12 oops, sorry… totally misinterpreted you!… think I need more coffee! Smile

CrouchEndTiger12 · 14/07/2021 07:46

[quote Greybeardy]@CrouchEndTiger12 oops, sorry… totally misinterpreted you!… think I need more coffee! Smile[/quote]
Oh not at all...to be fair I wasn't very clear!!! Smile

Seasidemumma77 · 14/07/2021 07:47

I had epidurals with first 2 dc and no pain relief at all with last 2 dc. It was my choice not to have pain relief with dc4, and for me that's the crux of the argument, women must has access to choice.

Recently had a hysterscopy, no pain relief even offered. For me, I found it far far worse than childbirth, still utterly shocked than such procedures are routinely done without painrelief. I will go as far as to say it was barbaric.

ivfgottwins · 14/07/2021 07:54

I'm not sure when you are getting your info but pain relief is offered as standard during childbirth in the U.K. 🤷‍♀️

everydaysablessing · 14/07/2021 07:54

Definitely agree.

Aggy35 · 14/07/2021 07:58

Currently expecting and I disagree.Pain is a natural part of childbirth.One a person chooses to have when deciding to have a child.Sadly nature isn't fair...is it fair that men never get to experience what it is like to carry a child,to feel it move,breastfeed? There are biological differences between the sexes and no amount of intervention will make it fair.

Youdiditanyway · 14/07/2021 08:02

Not sure. I had an epidural with my first after coping for 14 hours with back to back contractions. It felt amazing not to feel anything but I didn’t move for the next 10 hours and ended up needing forceps for shoulder dystocia. Suppose it could have happened regardless but I always put it down to the epidural. Had no pain relief with my next two and no interventions. Again, could be coincidental but I know there’s a definite link between epidurals and forceps/emergency c-sections.

Youdiditanyway · 14/07/2021 08:04

@JustLyra

There’s not a single abdominal operation that a man would have where he’d be given, reluctantly, only paracetamol afterwards.

I worked with a woman who went into labour early with twins. She ended up with a tear from the first one then needed a c-section for the second. Two paracetamol was her post op pain relief, and even then it took over an hour from when she asked to when it arrived

This was my experience after my 2 c-sections as well. I was offered paracetamol and ibuprofen after major abdominal surgery, it didn’t make even a jot of sense.
ChaToilLeam · 14/07/2021 08:06

I never wanted children, but even if I had, the whole childbirth thing would have seriously put me off. It is insane that women are expected to put up with excruciating pain that no man would be expected to tolerate, and then to get up and care for a highly dependent newborn directly after. Women are not adequately cared for, believed or valued.

randomsabreuse · 14/07/2021 08:07

I had appendicitis a couple of years after my last DC. My aftercare was in a different league - no issue if I buzzed for help to/from the toilet (was dizzy as anything) while with a newborn while too sore to sit up while holding baby and about to fall asleep holding them the HCA/MW were uninterested in helping/cross when I asked. However I wouldn't have wanted an epidural - although it hurt a lot doing childbirth it was over and then I could get straight in the shower and feel human again rather than having to wait for the epidural to wear off.

JustLyra · 14/07/2021 08:11

@ivfgottwins

I'm not sure when you are getting your info but pain relief is offered as standard during childbirth in the U.K. 🤷‍♀️
Pain relief is meant to be offered as standard.

It’s not always.

Mrstreehouse · 14/07/2021 08:14

I’m glad I don’t live in France where an epidural is forced upon you. I’m confused as to why people are posting that it’s so horrific and there are no pain relief options. I was frequently offered various methods of pain relief, none of which I wanted. Epidurals do increase risk and prevent you being able to push properly in some cases.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 14/07/2021 08:16

The issue with childbirth is that it's not just about the woman, it's also about the baby. Most drugs get into the baby's bloodstream and can cause issues with breathing at delivery etc. They can also result in the 'cascade of interventions' - forceps etc.

C-sections are not an easy answer, especially if you have several children as they push the risk onto the following pregnancies. I've known of a baby born very premature as a result of placenta previa (which was most likely a result of his mother's precious section), and a friend and her baby almost died as a consequence of placenta accreta, which is much, much more common after multiple sections. She only survived because she had a full hysterectomy.

So it's not only about women being told to put up and shut up. There is more to it than that.

miltonj · 14/07/2021 08:17

I don't think we should be given in as standard, but offered it as standard and fully informed before hand on all options and their pros and cons.

I persistently begged for an epidural. But kept getting fobbed off. The dr came in to administer it when I was pushing her out. Fair enough if I had a short labour but I was in the deliver room for 13 hours. Their excuse was that they were incredibly busy. Because of the pain I was nearly too exhausted to push, and had to have a ventouse birth. It was mismanaged, but I wonder how common it actually is.

makinganavalon · 14/07/2021 08:19

Fortunately in the hospital when I gave birth I was treated extremely kindly, made a huge fuss of and given all the options at all times. I was also let stay in for three days even though I had no problems and I was just having a little trouble latching and emotionally. This was 2 years ago and it amazes me when I hear how cruelly other mums are treated and feel very lucky with my experience.
What I was NOT ready for is how I was expected (not by my husband I hasten to add but some weird societal pressures and in laws) to do EVERYTHING after the birth when visitors came, but not expected to complain, not show my boobs at anytime even while breastfeeding, and not cry because it embarrasses people even though perfectly natural to be feeling like bawling your eyes out all the time.
It still baffles and upsets me two years on and I'm determined to do everything I can to help my friends who are having babies in October- freezer meals, support, anything they need and no judgement

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 14/07/2021 08:23

It should be down to the woman giving birth. After all it is her body.

I had 2 births without any pain relief (10 h and 1h) and went home directly after - I prefered to be fully conscious and in charge of my body (no needles in my back and I would never take 'gas and air' after the description I read here on MN).
But then mine was not a risk birth and I was completely healthy.

KeflavikAirport · 14/07/2021 08:32

Epidurals are not forced on women in France but they are offered as standard and something like 98% of women have them.

ASpoolofBlueThread · 14/07/2021 08:33

My body my choice should apply to maternity care as much as it does to anything else, but it doesn't.

Giving birth being a part of normal life is a bollocks argument. Death is a natural (and inevitable) part of life but we don't pressure people into dying with pain medication.

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