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Original poster

I wish I'd money

101 replies

ssd · 04/07/2021 09:37

Thats all

It would put my worries at rest

I know its not everything but its a lot when you don't have it

OP posts:
Camomila · 04/07/2021 10:29

I think the issue with having no money is that having no money impacts on everything else.

I completely agree, I can't really complain too much as DH and I wfh throughout the pandemic but it would have been 100x easier if we had a spare room to put the desks or a garden to put the kids in. I hated the days that DH had meetings from the livingroom and I had to try to entertain 2DC in their tiny bedroom.

ImInStealthMode · 04/07/2021 10:29

I hear you OP. It's only recently in my late 30s that through inheritance, promotion and meeting someone with whom to split the bills that I'm in a position where an unexpected expense like a car breakdown or a visit to the vet with Dcat isn't a crisis resulting in tears and either frantic reshuffling of funds or credit cards.

We're not rich by any means but we now have a cushion to fall back on and it's an absolute relief, it really is.

I hope you find yourself in the same position sooner rather than later x

mintylovely · 04/07/2021 10:30

Being poor makes everything harder, for example being ill and having to choose between heat and eat. Nobody is saying they'd swap health for money.

BastardMonkfish · 04/07/2021 10:30

Life is definitely less stressful all round when you have money. Even having enough to decide we are going out for the day, you have so much more freedom when you have a car, enough money to fill it with diesel to drive wherever you like, entry fees to places like zoos and open farms, drive past a McDonald's and not have to say no we have pasta at home.

maddiemookins16mum · 04/07/2021 10:31

It’s true that money doesn’t always bring happiness, what it does always bring is choice.
Choice of home, food, healthcare, work or not to work.
However, I can say from a personal experience that it got a bit better as we got older….lower/no mortgage (if applicable), no childcare cost etc.
That said, our private pensions are rubbish and gawd only knows what the state pension will be like in 18 years (when we can retire).

MyMabel · 04/07/2021 10:33

I get this, I feel sick to my stomach sometimes when I think about how much easier our lives would be if we were comfortable.

Orf1abc · 04/07/2021 10:37

It's no coincidence that the areas impacted worst by covid are also those with the highest levels of deprivation.

Money isn't everything, but it does give you access to safe and adequate housing, technology and space to work and learn from home, healthcare when the NHS is not immediately available. Money means being able to isolate from work and not worry about how to pay the bills, it means having a garden for the kids to play in when the parks are closed.

lollipoprainbow · 04/07/2021 10:37

As someone about to tip into her unarranged overdraft I hear you !! I fantasize about having lots of money and not worrying about the cost of every single thing. The school holidays are looming and I'm worried about how I'm going to afford doing nice things. Sad

Babymamaroon · 04/07/2021 10:38

YANBU. Money gives you options to deal with all the other crap that comes along.

Cancer? You can afford a second opinion and quicker treatment if needed. Help at home, extra childcare etc.

General stress? You can buy treats, book well-being treats, book a weekend away whatever it is - you can spend money to make things easier.

Unexpected massive expense? Sort it in your stride and not even think about it.

It helps soothe whatever is going on and in itself takes a major source of stress and worry away. Aren't finances typically a massive contributor to divorce?

I hate working I have to say but I work in order to have all of the above.

Orf1abc · 04/07/2021 10:40

lower/no mortgage

More people are in rented accommodation than have been for decades. Whilst some of us have the fortune of a reducing mortgage (and usually, increasing equity), millions face rising rents and no security beyond a six month tenancy.

Original poster
ssd · 04/07/2021 10:41

I know its all relative. I have a friend married to a high earner who tells me money doesn't matter. With a straight face. I just smile and bite my tongue.

OP posts:
ThanksIGotItInMorrisons · 04/07/2021 10:42

Post wasn’t asking if you’d rather be a) rich but sick, or b) poor but in good health. Yes. I think life would be easier if I didn’t have to worry about mortgage payments and enough money to feed kids who are eating me out of house and home without worrying. I have suffered and I have starved in my life. Right now I’m not starving. But money buys food and pays your bills in this first world country. You can’t survive here without it. Everything is available to you if you only have enough money.

FindingMeno · 04/07/2021 10:43

Ample money is security and choice.
Who wouldn't want that?
Excess money is a different issue.

Camomila · 04/07/2021 10:51

It might depend on the DH? I would keep my average earning DH who does an equal share of house work/nursery runs/filling in random forms for school over my friends high earning DH who expects her to iron his work shirts.

Nothingyet · 04/07/2021 10:56

@ssd

I know its all relative. I have a friend married to a high earner who tells me money doesn't matter. With a straight face. I just smile and bite my tongue.
Money only doesn't matter when you have enough to be comfortable. We live frugally, and careful with money, but we were always able to get a mortgage and now we own outright, so we have always had a comfortable place to live . We've never had to worry about bills. I'm not boasting, as I say we live frugally and I am grateful. I wish there wasn't such gross inequality. Boris and Carrie spending 28 thousand pounds on take away meals over an eight month period last year. The wealthy have no idea how the majority live.
WantingToWonder · 04/07/2021 10:59

I've been in both positions (on benefits as a single mum and very comfortable).

Having some money in the bank definitely makes you happier. Just knowing that a unexpected bill won't add to your worries is very comforting.

cupcakecourageous · 04/07/2021 10:59

I would like the opportunity to prove that winning the lottery will NOT ruin my life Grin

MyNameForToday1980 · 04/07/2021 11:00

I get you OP. I am lucky that I do have money these days (salary not savings). And I am grateful every day. There was a long time when I lived from payday to payday, praying not to have any unexpected expenses between, paying by cheque where possible as it bought me three days before it was cashed.

When you have enough ££ not to worry about an unexpected bill, it really is a privileged position.

You do find other things to worry about though. But at least one BIG worry is not an issue anymore.

EmpressSuiko · 04/07/2021 11:02

I feel you OP, I would love to just be able to buy things we need without fretting it will break the bank, my DD needed new school shoes and we had no money for them, we eventually managed to get a spare £10 to get her a pair but it took a couple of weeks to sort.
I just want us to live comfortably and have some money to save or put to the side for unexpected expenses.
I am actually quite jealous of my friends and family who can afford at least one holiday every year and just buy clothes/household items/electronics whenever they need or want them, they are all very fortunate and I hope one day we’ll be in a better position.

ObviousNameChage · 04/07/2021 11:04

The health /bad partner/bad relationships/whatever else might make people miserable argument only works if poverty was a protective factor against any/all of those things.

However we all know (and statistics back this up) that poverty actually increases the risk of all these things going wrong.

AvonCallingBarksdale · 04/07/2021 11:12

If you have lots of money, it can also detach people from real life. A friend of ours is married to a hedge fund manager. He works silly hours - they have huge wealth. Sometimes she’ll say, “it’s like being a single parent”. No. It really, really isn’t. Hmm
Slightly off the point but that was in response to OP’s friend’s comment.

Meruem · 04/07/2021 11:14

Money does make you happier. It’s true you can’t “buy” happiness as if it’s some item in a shop, but having money does make life a lot easier. I’m not super well off but I can buy the food I want without worrying, pay bills, save for a holiday etc. I grew up in total poverty, not enough food to eat etc, there were no food banks back then. I hugely appreciate the fact I don’t have to live that way now. It’s so tough and you’re constantly worrying about how this or that will be paid.

Mabelface · 04/07/2021 11:18

Money would make a huge difference to me. I have asd and find working full time very stressful. Being able to quit work and just do what I need to do would be amazing.

VettiyaIruken · 04/07/2021 11:19

I feel the same. It's bloody miserable being skint. Flowers

thenonsensepotter · 04/07/2021 11:22

I agree with you OP. We have a house we love and are comfortable but any extra expenses such as birthdays or Christmas, a trip out, a holiday, clothes that need to be new, often sends us into a lot of stress. I'd love to be able to treat our DC and not feel panicky about it.
There will always be someone worse off but you can't spend your life constantly thinking that or you'd just always feel guilty.