Man sprawled on front step. WWYD?

[Lizzie523]

I live in a flat and when the takeaway man came over an hour ago he said a man was banging on the front door and vomiting everywhere ()

Looking out I can see the man is still sitting sprawled across our front step. I moved in 4 months ago and have met all neighbours apart from one, a man. So it could well be him. He hasn't buzzed any of the other flats and he's just sitting there. It will get dark soon. I don't know for sure he lives here but seems probable.

WWYD? I don't want to deal with it at all but feel some sympathy

The op was absolutely right to telephone the police. I would have done the same, or called an ambulance, maybe both.

I hope you managed to get some sleep op and that the man is OK now. We may never know the outcome but thankfully you took the right action.

(avamiah, would you of indeed, really?)

@MaxNormal

Would people really phone the police or go and help for every single pissed person in the street? If I'd done that where I used to live I'd never had been off the phone. I'd have phoned if they were collapsed unconscious and/or bleeding but just sitting behaving weirdly, no chance.

That’s a really good point - and of course when I think about it the answer is no. Personally I would only offer to help in situations where I felt the circumstances meant the person was unsafe - for example helped a very drunk girl at a train station recently because I was worried she was going to fall down a big flight of stairs, that she wouldn’t be able to get on the right train etc etc. (Amazing how many people were totally ignoring her tho - she was literally staggering drunk, trying to get down a big steep flight of stairs in massive heels - she’d have broken her neck if she’d fallen.)

In the case of OP’s drunk man, because he was sitting there for a long time, I’d assume that maybe he wasn’t capable of getting home, and as it was late that might make him unsafe, so yeah I would have offered him water/wipes to clean himself up if he’d been sick on himself, and said I’d call a cab for him if he wanted. I wouldn’t have invited him into my house tho - this would have happened on the street.

It would never have occurred to me to call the cops as I wouldn’t have thought they would attend unless the person was in a worse state than the one described in the OP (ie unconscious or something). Plus I don’t have total faith in the police response to all situations (don’t get me wrong - there are some fucking great police out there. But also some less great ones).

Tbh I probably wouldn’t have phoned the police as there are constantly homeless people/ drunks sleeping in doorways in my town and even if I requested a welfare check it would be unlikely to be done on a Friday night.

I can only assume that the posters giving OP a hard time for not rushing to his aid may live quite sheltered lives in very quiet areas. For anyone remotely familiar with an inner city, seeing people in this condition is commonplace, at any time of the day, and for every rare occasion when someone is ill, there are hundreds where they are drunk, or under the influence of drugs, and a potential risk. I've seen people lash out at their good samaritan several times. This is not being judgemental, its simple risk assessment. And yes, it's a sad sign of the times when it means ill people can get ignored, but the odds are so greatly in favour of it being drunkenness it's not worth the risk to OP. I also agree that unless it's a very quiet low crime area, the police would probably have higher priorities on a Friday night, but no harm in calling I suppose.

Astonishes me that some posters come on here just to be nasty to the OP. Are they blokes?

What kind of decision-avoidant attention-seeking flake do you need to be to actually have to ask on an Internet forum what to do in this situation?

WTF is actually wrong with some people on this thread!!
If you don’t have any actual advice don’t post. I swear people who are miserable in RL just come on here to take it out on random strangers. MN is meant to be a place of support.

In many areas seeing drunk people is an every day occurrence you do not call 999 every time you see a drunk person. Our services are stretched as they are and unless they are severely unwell or they’re being a nuisance then what do you expect the police to do?
This man was sat up smoking and not causing enough concern to call 999 which is why OP asked for advice.

OP was on the phone to the police whilst on here yet people were still finding ways to try and have a dig - it’s honestly pathetic!

@AlGorithim he wasn’t unconscious stop making things up he was sat smoking which I’m pretty sure you can’t do when unconscious

Please don’t waste Police time by calling 999.
It’s not an emergency.
Most of you on here crying ‘call 101’ or ‘dial 999’ have obviously never lived in an area where drunks do all sorts of weird things on a Friday night that the Police just haven’t got the time to deal with.

You probably will shout ‘go to A&E’ for not very much either.

If it helps for future OP I think I'd have called 101 sooner.

1.. The building is occupied by women who, like you, would likely be fearful of passing him so in reality door to the building was blocked to anyone wanting to leave or enter.

1. He was banging causing a disturbance

1. He was vulnerable. He might have lived there and stayed so long as he had nowhere else to go. Then after leaving be vulnerable on the street due to his state.

101 and a welfare check after the banging became a problem next time and then the police can decide if hers a priority or not and to be fair the earlier in the day the more free officers they are likely to have.

Would people really phone the police or go and help for every single pissed person in the street? If I'd done that where I used to live I'd never had been off the phone.

Totally agree. I live in London and I would be charged with wasting police time if I called 999 every time I saw a drunk man shouting and puking between cigarettes.

OP was worried, I'm glad she didn't go out.

Where I live all my neighbours are male so I would have called one of them.

Lovelydiscusfish that's it. I have of course helped young girls out by themselves obviously pissed of of their heads late at night, either by helping to find their friends, staying with them or paying for a taxi for them.

Again if someone is lying down and unconscious I'd check personally if it was safe to do so, or otherwise call an ambulance - even if it is from alcohol they could still be at risk, whether from choking, hypothermia etc.

But if someone is compos mentos enough to be vaping then absolutely no.

I lived in an area with a very high rate of deprivation and alcohol and other substance misuse. I wouldn't have seen anyone come to harm but there's no way I'd have wasted police or especially ambulance time for someone that was overwhelmingly likely to just be hammered.

And it's perfectly fine for a young woman living alone to be cautious about her own safety. Drunk men can be terrifying.

I'm pretty sure that the police have their own methods of controlling how much of their time is spent on what they judge to be minor ,non urgent calls.Calibrating how quickly they respond /which calls to prioritise .

@Frownette

OP was worried, I'm glad she didn't go out.

Where I live all my neighbours are male so I would have called one of them.

Yes, let the menfolk deal with it. This post is doing no favours to the feminist cause. Women serve in the military, are Police Officers, first responders and so forth. Avamiah I am with you, I would have taken no issue with dealing with this myself.

@RoseRedRoseBlue no I've had bad experiences in the past, no chance I would have gone out and that's my prerogative.

You're not helping feminist causes because you're trying to say I should do something I wouldn't want to. It would take less than a minute to phone my neighbours.

Exactly, it’s YOUR prerogative. If I went out to assist, that would be mine. Also, I didn’t say you should do something you didn’t want to, did I? I just don’t like the theme running through this thread of the ‘helpless female’.

This thread is ridiculous. 😂😂😂

I've already said I would get hold of one of the neighbours, so I'm not 'helpless' and would have assisted in my own way. But if it frightened me then no I wouldn't want to go out. Last time I tried with something like this I got punched for my efforts and went over as I'm 5'2", size 6 and frail because of health issues.

Yes, let the menfolk deal with it. This post is doing no favours to the feminist cause.

It’s not anti-feminist to protect yourself.
A female shouldn’t have to put themselves in potential danger just to prove they can keep up with the ‘boys’.

Hmmmm, I don’t recall saying that should be the case. It’s the notion that only a man can deal with it that’s troubling.

I'm saying I don't want to deal with it directly, I'd go by a different method. Other women might.

You do it your way, I'll do it mine. A woman's choice is part of feminism. Over and out.

Yes of course. It’s not a moan levelled at you specifically, I just don’t think that some of the over dramatics and prevarication on the post have painted females in a very good light. Anyway, have a good evening.

@RoseRedRoseBlue

Hmmmm, I don’t recall saying that should be the case. It’s the notion that only a man can deal with it that’s troubling.

No one suggested only a man could deal with it. The person who asked men for help no doubt felt their risk in the situation was lower than hers. Imo correctly, given women are typically more vulnerable, and often at a physical disadvantage. If a woman feels ok about handling this, great, but those that don't shouldn't be made to feel they've failed at feminism.

@RoseRedRoseBlue you too

SOME women are and you show zero empathy for those who wouldn't be up to it. Feminism is NOT about women being "as good as a man" / "the same as a man" . You're assuming the "male as default" / "male strengths should be those we aspire to." It should be about being accorded the same respect as men generally are. Very different capabilities but equally valuable as people.

And anyway sometimes discretion is the better part of valour, and good on the man who overcomes macho stereotypes to know when it is best to walk away.