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Original poster

You're invited to a friends for dinner at 7pm, what time do you ring their doorbell?

853 replies

suggestionsplease1 · 01/07/2021 23:25

Out of interest, feel free to post to the minute!

Let's say this is not a very, very close friend, so you don't have a pre-existing idea of their expectations / preferences for your arrival time.

After reading another thread on visitor etiquette on AIBU today I was wondering if mumsnetters can converge on a perfect time, or if there are widely differing ideas on this issue!

OP posts:
kindaclassy · 04/07/2021 10:18

People who are shocked/horrified/offended at the idea of guests having to "wait around" to ring the bell at 10 or quarter past because they are a bit early..

To arrive on the dot, you'd have to do that anyway!

Unless you live literally across the road, you can't time your arrival by car or public transport to the second, so to be at the door at 7 on the dot, surely you need to plan for a few minutes delay and wait a bit anyway.

SmackMyAssnCallMeJudy · 04/07/2021 10:19

Anyone arriving early ‘to help’ would piss me off so much, and would not be invited back.

Luckily none of my friends are this rude / clueless.

kindaclassy · 04/07/2021 10:19

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

I just can't believe that turning up at 7pm when you've been invited for 7pm is "abominably rude". WTF are you lot on 😂😂😂
It's just telling how much manners to expect from that person 🤷

Interested in this thread?

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General relationships
BiddyPop · 04/07/2021 10:20

Well last night, it happened to us - guest rang bell at 6:45 as they had misjudged how long it takes to walk to us. Luckily I was just finished getting changed and dinner was all organised, but I had been looking forward to a 10 minute sit down...

jo3009 · 04/07/2021 10:32

I'm obviously not invited out much, but I like being early, 5 mins early in my opinion is being on time and showing the host you've made an effort to not be late.

Katefoster · 04/07/2021 10:37

07.02

wanttomarryamillionaire · 04/07/2021 10:39

7pm and definitely no later than 7.10pm! If I invite people for dinner I expect them to come at the time I invited them. Its very rude to be to early or late!

itsgettingwierd · 04/07/2021 10:46

Most of you wouldn't get invited to mine more than once!

If I say 7pm I don't mean keep me waiting past 7pm before you decide to Grace my doorbell with your fingers presence. That's so rude.

If I said 7pm I'd be happy with anytime between 6.45-7pm.

If a few minutes late I'd accept those unexpected minutes due to misplanning.

Any later and without an explanation I'd assume you felt your time was more important than mine as I've spent all day prepping you a meal.

kindaclassy · 04/07/2021 10:51

itsgettingwierd

so when you are invited for diner, you expect the host to have to have to plan and start waiting for you at least 15 minutes before the time they actually invited you too?

SoupDragon · 04/07/2021 10:57

If I say 7pm I don't mean keep me waiting past 7pm before you decide to Grace my doorbell with your fingers presence. That's so rude.

As is turning up 15 minutes early.

jakalaka · 04/07/2021 11:01

7pm.

If they said 7 for 7:30 then 7:15

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 04/07/2021 11:07

Those saying anytime from 6.45 pm are wrong. The earliest you should arrive is 7pm with anything up 15/20 minutes late. Your host could still be dressing before 7pm.

AlexaShutUp · 04/07/2021 11:09

@itsgettingwierd

Most of you wouldn't get invited to mine more than once!

If I say 7pm I don't mean keep me waiting past 7pm before you decide to Grace my doorbell with your fingers presence. That's so rude.

If I said 7pm I'd be happy with anytime between 6.45-7pm.

If a few minutes late I'd accept those unexpected minutes due to misplanning.

Any later and without an explanation I'd assume you felt your time was more important than mine as I've spent all day prepping you a meal.

Likewise, if you turned up on my doorstep at 6.45pm when I had invited you for 7pm, you wouldn't be getting another invite. I'd think you were incredibly rude!!
mumof3wonderfuls · 04/07/2021 11:11

If you arrived before 7 I wouldn't ask you again!
7.10

OneStepOut · 04/07/2021 11:14

The answers on this thread are why I can't be bothered with people in my house anymore. I usually tell people 'Come anytime after 6. I will be putting food on the table at 7pm sharp'. You can guarantee that nobody would turn up before 7:30 and then look at each other because veg are like warm.

ImInStealthMode · 04/07/2021 11:15

If I'd been invited AT 7pm then between 5 to and 5 past 7.

If I'd been invited FROM 7pm (as invites in our social circle often are) then probably half past.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 04/07/2021 11:17

OneStep - cook something that doesn’t spoil and few fresh beans when they arrive.

Abraxan · 04/07/2021 11:18

7-7:10 : but as close to 7pm as possible.

Never early as people May bed those extra few minutes.

Not late as it's not nice sat around waiting for guests to arrive and can come across as being somewhat rude - not prioritising the hosts/friends and giving the courtesy of being prompt.

That's for more formal dinners though.

Close friends or family - a bit early is often fine , but again not late unless it's unavoidable and then you call to let them know

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 04/07/2021 11:35

Felicity Cloake in her Modern Manners column in the Guardian says a dinner party guest should arrive within 15 mins of the initiation time but never before it. Obviously slightly different for something like a wedding where you arrive in good time of the ceremony.

LindaEllen · 04/07/2021 11:41

Okay, so I have anxiety.

I don't want to turn up early, that's really rude. I don't want to turn up late, that's really rude. I don't want to turn up bang on time because then they might think I was waiting outside for the right second, which is just going to be super embarrassing. So, I will always arrive at approximately (exactly!) 7.04 for a 7pm arrival. Not early, and not late enough to have the hosts curtain twitching. But, you can guarantee I'll have been waiting somewhere round the corner for at least 10 minutes - to make sure I was actually there when I aimed to be!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 04/07/2021 11:43

7.04 is perfect!

Justme10 · 04/07/2021 12:14

*But, you can guarantee I'll have been waiting somewhere round the corner for at least 10 minutes
*
I would hate to think any friend of mine was waiting round the corner because some etiquette books says it's rude to be early.

I have had my friends for a long time and they have helped me through the hardest times in my life and they are not coming expecting the perfect hostess, they are coming to see and spend time with me.
If they come ten minutes early and it's going tits up or I'm not completely ready then they will pour me a drink, offer help and laugh with off with me.
That kind of friendship is far more important than the unspoken rules of etiquette.

moynomore · 04/07/2021 12:27

Definitely wouldn't want my guests to arrive before 7 as I probably would still be running the hoover. 7:10 is perfect. For an "anytime after 7" invitation I would say 7:15 or 7:20.

LuvMyBubbles · 04/07/2021 12:29

Not before 7 and definitely not later than 7.15

Tiddleztheelephant · 04/07/2021 13:12

I'd be walking up the path at 6.59pm but I do have slight issues in this area.

If ds was with me though maybe 7.15-7.20pm

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