You're invited to a friends for dinner at 7pm, what time do you ring their doorbell?

[suggestionsplease1]

Out of interest, feel free to post to the minute!

Let's say this is not a very, very close friend, so you don't have a pre-existing idea of their expectations / preferences for your arrival time.

After reading another thread on visitor etiquette on AIBU today I was wondering if mumsnetters can converge on a perfect time, or if there are widely differing ideas on this issue!

Killing myself laughing at this thread. Never, ever, ever turn up early to my house, you'll find the dinner half cooked and me in the shower 😂😂😂. My former MIL drove me mad. I would tell her 8.00 thinking she'd rock up about 7.30 but no, 6.45 there they'd be just as I was running about looking like the wild witch of Endor, with the kitchen like a bombsite, the table not set and the dogs raiding the bin. I'm sure she did it on purpose!

I’m off to google witch of endor. What a magnificent phrase! Who is she?.
Arriving 85min early that’s definitely nutty
Agreed all these descriptions of harried hosts stepping in shower at 7 hoping guests don’t arrive are comedic

7.10

If I’m going to a friends house then I would turn up at 7.07 - gives them a bit of time if they’re running late with cleaning or prep etc but not so late that they’ve got food going cold.

Meeting them in a restaurant then I’d try and be on time exactly (but probably fail)

but not so late that they’ve got food going cold.

Do people genuinely arrive at dinner parties to find the food on the table, ready to be eaten immediately?

In my nearly 50 years on this planet, I’ve never once experienced this.

@Bodynegative

Killing myself laughing at this thread. Never, ever, ever turn up early to my house, you'll find the dinner half cooked and me in the shower 😂😂😂. My former MIL drove me mad. I would tell her 8.00 thinking she'd rock up about 7.30 but no, 6.45 there they'd be just as I was running about looking like the wild witch of Endor, with the kitchen like a bombsite, the table not set and the dogs raiding the bin. I'm sure she did it on purpose!

Oh my goodness same! I've got one friend who always arrives at least half an hour before the time I give her. And as if to make it all ok she texts as she leaves home to let me know she's on her way... Too late for me to say no I'm not ready because she seems to press send then set off. And if I say you're early she just says oh it's only me!

Depends on the invite, if it’s dinner at 7pm then obs would be there in time to sit down at 7pm. If it’s 7.00 for 7.30 then any time in between.
I think it would be rude if it’s a sit down dinner, starting at 7pm to be late for that. A buffet or barbecue is different. A formal dinner needs everyone seated at the same time.

Depends on whether I was the only guest - if just me/my family invited, we'd arrive about ten past; if it was a group event, the closer the friend, the more prompt the arrival - in this case we don't know them that well so would be about 7.15-7.20.

Depends also on the night of the week - I'd be much more on-time Mon- Thurs, assuming that it would be a quick dinner and early finish, whereas a Friday or Saturday would be a more relaxed, longer evening so I would assume that there would be about an hour to an hour and a half's worth of drinks/nibbles etc before dinner to allow for people to arrive.

If I'm hosting, I'm happy for people to arrive on time, happy for them to be up to about half an hour late, and absolutely hate it if they are even 2 minutes early!

7.05 pm - 7.10 pm.

Any later and they start to worry, any earlier and you risk catching them unprepared and getting ready. It's rude to arrive early in my opinion.

6.55pm

People do get REALLY touchy on any thread about etiquette/ decoration, and they realised they completely missed out on the memo or people find them tacky or very rude 😂.

I especially love the grand dismissal of good manners as being too complicated, boring, stuffy or outdated. Brilliant.

This thread should go in classics.

I’m quite surprised at how many people are saying 7.15 or even later.
I would never arrive early but would aim to ring that bell between 7and 7.05.

@3JsMa

Between 6.45 and 7 pm. I prefer to be a bit earlier and help if needed rather then being late.I think it's offensive to the host.

3JsMa It’s definitely much more offensive to the host if you turn up early and offer to help! That would ruin the whole night!! That’s so very rude.

I think it's a bit much to say turning up early and offering to help would 'ruin the whole night'. If that's your approach to hosting, you might want to unclench a little.

If it's an informal dinner with close family/the sort of friend who has cleaned up your bodily fluids on enough occasions to count as family then it's probably ok to arrive early and help, although I still wouldn't unless I'd arranged it beforehand. Otherwise no.

I don’t know about ruining the whole night but if it’s a dinner party type thing I would b mortified if someone showed up 15 mins early offering to help!

Normally that’s the 15 mins that DH is trying to frantically clear up the bomb site I’ve left in the kitchen and I’m trying to get changed out my apron into something presentable.

If you were close enough that your "help" would be welcome by your host, they would have asked you...

So unless your host has asked you in the past to put put their laundry away or hoover the living room while they busy doing something else - and it's doubtful you are that close, I guarantee you you are anything BUT helpful

You don't ruin the night, you are just a pain in the arse!

@jo3009

6.55pm

Why do people think turning up before you’re invited is ok!

At a minimum turn up at 7, no earlier. 5-10 minutes after would be better

We always say "7 for 7:30" which means "Drinks start at 7 and we eat at 7:30 (-ish)". Then you can just show up when you want, but if you're too late, you'll miss a lot of the fun and you won't understand the jokes later because we'll all be pissed by then

Never ever be early, it's rude and puts the host on a bad footing.
If you have an invite for 7pm then dinner will likely be 7.30pm. Arriving at 7.05pm would be perfect.

Once again, some people believe their time is more important than anyone else's time.

You are invited at 7, the host would reasonably think they have until 7 to get read. People have a life and things to do.

Deciding that it's the host own stupid fault not to be ready 2 hours early to cater for you arriving early and when you feel like arriving is something else.

Sometimes I think I live in the Twilight Zone.

Don't people who aren't invited somewhere at 7pm just turn up at 7pm

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Sometimes I think I live in the Twilight Zone.

Don't people who aren't invited somewhere at 7pm just turn up at 7pm

Of course not.

I just can't believe that turning up at 7pm when you've been invited for 7pm is "abominably rude". WTF are you lot on 😂😂😂