Would you rather have another baby or a bigger house?

[HitsAndMrs]

I have 2 children and would like a third but it means we would have to wait a few more years to move to a bigger house. We have enough rooms but need more space.
We could give out DDs a big house with their own bedroom or we could have another child and experience the joy that comes with that.
I know this is a personal subjective question but wanted to see what you would do? For the record, my DDs would like another child! (We had a loss which they often talk about)

From the sound of your post your DC already share? So you’ve a two bed?
I’d not have three children in a two bed personally, and I’m not funny about sharing rooms like some on here are!

@lastqueenofscotland

From the sound of your post your DC already share? So you’ve a two bed? I’d not have three children in a two bed personally, and I’m not funny about sharing rooms like some on here are!

No we have a 3 bed, 3 bathroom. They share a room because they want to so the spare room isn't really used other than an office for my husband now and again.

I agree with @lastqueenofscotland . 3 DCs in a 2 bed house, even if they are small DCs, would feel very overcrowded to me.

Bigger house.

Bigger house.

@SkankingMopoke

I agree with *@lastqueenofscotland* . 3 DCs in a 2 bed house, even if they are small DCs, would feel very overcrowded to me.

It is a 3 bedroom. We have enough rooms but would obviously feel smaller with 3 dc. My dds are 8 and 10.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Bigger house. You'll all benefit from the extra space, and the kids you have will probably get the best of you if you're all in a more comfortable living situation.

Now I would rather have a bigger house but that is because I have finished having children. When I still wanted more children i wouldn't have taken a palace over another child.

House, without a doubt. What's the point of having another child if you don't have enough space which will impact your current children.

Neither - but would go for house if made space for existing family as the upheaval of a baby at your DC’s age will be huge . What is it about a new sibling they find so attractive? Very very sorry for your previous loss but are you projecting onto them?

If I only had one DC then baby. If I had two or more I say house, so in your shoes, house.

House. Children bring purpose rather than happiness and two is sufficient for that

Most depressing thing I’ve ever read.

You have a three bed with two sharing already, you’ve suffered a loss & clearly want another baby! (So sorry to hear). Have another baby, the house will come later. My third is a dream

In my case, baby (I have 0 children currently). In your case and the case of anyone else who already has two children, I would respectfully say you should consider the environmental impact of having another child for the benefit of your existing children.

Also I imagine your DDs will want to stop sharing when they reach their teens, so wouldn’t have another baby if having one meant they wouldn’t get their own rooms.

Bigger house , particularly with your current age gap . Days out , holiday itineraries etc will be much more difficult if you add a baby / toddler to the mix .

I have three, so I’m coming to you with the benefit of hindsight.

We need a bigger house. We just don’t have enough space. It is a huge ball ache. Had I known what was going to happen with regards to our finances etc I might not have gone for a third.

Also mine are similar ages to yours and I honestly can’t imagine going back to sleepless nights and potty training, although I would adore another baby.

I was in the same position as you! Eldest dd is 10, middle dd is 7 and we are in a lovely 3 bed. The girls already shared a room so we all had a chat and decided on another baby- he is now 5 months and it was such a good decision!

I’m surprised how many people say house. You can always get a bigger house (as your post suggests) but you can’t always have another baby! So many people I know who stopped at 2 (I had 3) now have a puppy and I think a puppy is more hard work than a baby!

We also suffered a loss two years ago; which cemented the fact we wanted another- before then we were umming and aahing, but it was a lateish loss (14 weeks) so we had our heart set by that point!

Baby!

It's so subjective only you can answer that.

For me it would be house.

But sounds like you want #3 to complete your family so go for it! Family makes a home, not a house.

Why can’t you have both?

@PattyPan it sounds as if you’d like a baby yourself. My decision to try for a child came with the acknowledgment that I was doing something environmentally irresponsible for the sake of my own well-being/joy. It feels a bit weird to me to use the environment argument to dictate other people’s choices round kids if you want a child yourself (and so have surely if not come to terms with, then at least acknowledged the inherent selfishness involved and decided it’s acceptable.)

I kind of feel like you either feel that the environmental impact is unacceptable, so you stay child free, or you accept that it’s not a decision that can be entirely based on quantifiable external factors and go ahead.

I went for baby, with very similar age gaps and a loss before DC3 came along.

We still live in the same house, but have done a loft conversion to make 4 bedrooms.

Wouldn't change a thing, DC3 has brought so much happiness into our lives. That doesn't necessarily mean it will be the right decision for everyone, but was for us.