Anybody told their DH they were pregnant in a really bad way (like I did earlier)? Make me feel better

[SecondCityShark]

Found out this afternoon that I'm pregnant and had a major freak out. We use contraception and I firmly didn't want children right now.

But somehow, here we are.

So I was in shock for about an hour, and then I started crying hard, which I never do.

DH came in to see me ugly-crying and honestly, I think he thought somebody had died.

I feel bad for him because in the films, it's always a happy 'I'M PREGNANT!' or a woman handing over a positive pregnancy test in a gift-wrapped box or something.

Has anybody else royally screwed up the big moment as I did earlier?

We’d already had a few losses so I wasn’t planning to make a big thing out of it. I just told him casually while we were making dinner. This was in the middle of the first lockdown. He said “I know, I saw the test in the bin. Can you pass the bread. The way things are going we’ll probably both die before we get the chance to see if this one sticks.”
I made some kind of noise in agreement and we didn’t mention it again until the baby was still there at the 12 week scan which was the furthest we’d ever got at which point DP cried.
Honestly don’t beat yourself up, I’ve had friends who have been absolutely devastated when they’ve found out, some terminated and some went ahead. They all made the right decision for them. Take care

@olidora63 a neighbour of mine, very slim lady, I saw her on the Friday, when I saw her again on the Wednesday she had another baby! She'd no idea she was pregnant, was ttc and she definitely did not look pregnant! She was wearing leggings and a crop top when I'd seen her - I thought she was pulling my leg at first! She'd woken in pain the sat night and she and dh thought she had appendicitis or something, by the time the ambulance got there baby was born. Huge shock for them.

Everything online says you have no real symptoms this early

I had really early symptoms like the week I conceived! Everyone and every pregnancy is different

Regarding timing though - there's a phrase Scots are fond of

"What's for you won't go by you"

Some believe in that some don't

@Spotthedog91 yours is hilariously scientific!

Actually I think the best story is my mums - she felt unwell but it was flu season so she put it down to that, then she fainted at home and her parents insisted she see a dr. Dr tells her that he knows why she has been feeling unwell, she is pregnant "no you're wrong i can't be, the father will kill me!"
Dr thought she meant my dad - she didn't she meant the priest cos she wasn't married! Then he had to break it to her she was around 4-5 months along pending a check by "newfangled" ultrasound - She'd no clue!

A wedding was hastily arranged.

We worked really, really hard to get pregnant. Most of that work was me because I had to have a series of really awful surgeries in order to be able to Ttc. When I told DH I was pregnant I was ridiculously excited, but he just panicked. I wasn’t even mad then. I understood. It’s a big change even when it’s ridiculously planned.

Told I couldn't have children naturally due to scarring on tubes.
Taking the pill anyway to help with heavy periods.
Also using condoms as we'd only been together 8 months.

I didn't notice a missed period, it just seemed really light for once.
I loved to party but didn't think it was odd I couldn't drink alcohol on my birthday - just thought the smell made me feel sick as I was coming down with a bug.
Also didn't think about the fact I was coming in from work and napping for an hour, never having done that before.
But when we got a takeaway one night and I puked it straight back up, I did start to think something wasn't right. When the smell of cooking mince also made me instapuke, I thought nahhh, then started to count back to my last period... and it had been quite a while - decided to take a test. My boyfriend came home from work to find me standing in the hallway, white as a sheet, looking like I'd seen a ghost.
I just sort of waved my arms around, pointed in the bathroom and started to cry.
Took about 20 minutes to get him to understand what was happening.
Went to the Dr who booked me in for a scan asap due to the risk of ectopic from the scarring.

When I saw a baby on the screen I blurted out 'oh my god its a baby'... the radiographer asked me what exactly I had expected to see. I don't think I actually believed it until I saw it on the screen. I was 12 weeks pregnant by then. Baby was born at 6months + 3 weeks.... not a lot of time to get my head around anything having been told for the previous 10 years I couldn't have children.
Said child is now 18, the boyfriend is a distant ex and though it was a total bombshell at the time and screwed up all sorts of plans I had, it didn't really affect my job - I went back to work after 6 months, got promoted within a year and was able to boot out the boyfriend when he turned out to be a) a useless father and b) and abusive bastard.
Its not the life I planned to have as a childless, carefree woman. But its a different life with a rather fantastic 18 year old who is now at university and I can start to think again about some of those wanderlust plans I had way back when!

I had first DS when I was 23, fathers reaction was sorry but I’m 22 and I don’t want this and walked away

I have negative experiences. 2 unplanned pregnancies. 1st long term now ex bf response was fuck I can’t do this I’m 25 we can try again in a few years now we know Mr Sperm works !!! I kid you not

2nd I’ll meet you at the abortion clinic this is going to screw to my life you have to get rid of it.... manipulating bastard

Both of these I had terminations, both of these I hate that I didn’t tell them to fuck off as I would now, I had zero confidence, MH was so bad during the 2nd relationship

I had a ONS 7 months after the 2nd termination and he doesn’t know, I couldn’t tell him I was scared of his reaction, my DD is now in secondary school.

But I also chose to have 2 other terminations at 18 and 33
I think it depends on person. for all of us whatever our experiences are we’re all bloody marvellous. No one is perfect

Pissed in a cup and made him put the stick in and read it.

@SecondCityShark I didn’t realise how much my job meant to me until I had kids. I had to fight for my job and now I think I am much better at it than if I had just coasted along. Also I’m a lawyer… a lot of women in the City seem to have kids later on - mid to late 30s - whereas I was done by the time I was 33. A lot of my contemporaries are taking time off fir kids now whereas I am just picking up pace!

My partner had just moved from the USA to start uni and be with me. He was 21, I was 31. I have pcos so expected getting pregnant to be really hard. We didn't use contraception because I knew we had to be 'trying' for a year to get referred to Ivf.

Hed been here four weeks and I'd started puking out of my nose, five days before I was due on. I kept delaying taking a test until I was over a week late. He was excited, I was terrified. I got up at 6am one morning and did the test, woke him up by saying, 'i think the test is broken, it says I'm pregnant'.

We got married last summer, Ds is about to turn two and I'm expecting DD in 5 weeks. I took five months maternity and work a .8 contract - my work life balance is just about ok!

I found out I was pregnant the week I started a new job. They were all saying 'you'll have a baby soon' and I was getting really annoyed because I wanted at least a year in the job. On my way home it dawned on me that I couldn't remember when my last period was and I'd been having a lot of aches like I was coming on. I had to pull over to be sick.

I got two tests on my way home and ran upstairs to wee on them. I've done tests in the past and immediately come on the moment I wee on them 🤣 I was washing my hands and could see it change out of the corner of my eye - it was a very very strong positive. I was sick again. We had a bloke due round to put some blinds up. I had an awful upset stomach through the stress of it.

Told DH the moment he came home, he didn't speak for ages. I tried to lighten the mood by saying 'oh and btw it is yours' like Rachel did to Ross in Friends. Well, I was sick again.

DS is nearly 5 now and a delight. We also have a 9 month old daughter.

He wasn't planned and it didn't mess up my career, my manager was really supportive.

My husband had asked me a few times 'are you pregnant?!' Because I needed a wee so many times and kept saying I'd felt like I was coming on for weeks waiting for my period 😂

Honestly? I just screamed "noooo" and was crying uncontrollably. I had just quit a dreadful job which caused awful mental health issues and was just starting to get back on track. I had a termination and, whilst it obviously wasn't pleasant, it was the right decision. Sometimes the timing is just wrong