Things that always happen in movies

[Soubriquet]

Doesn’t matter what film it is, love, horror, thriller they always do the same things

For example

Go to Mexico….and everything is suddenly sepia. Why?

They always get out of bed to investigate noises in the cellar, and don't even take a decent light.

It’s “If you have to shoot, shoot. Don’t talk!”

Eli Wallace (the Ugly) improvised the line.

Thanks @ShagMeRiggins
I'm glad he did. Very simple yet effective line.

@Ireallydontknowimtired

It’s “If you have to shoot, shoot. Don’t talk!”

Eli Wallace (the Ugly) improvised the line.

Thanks @ShagMeRiggins
I'm glad he did. Very simple yet effective line.

Yes I seem to have misquoted, but it is a very effective line and how I wish notice was taken of it!

TOP TIP!

Glaziers! Do not carry large sheets of glass across the street in San Francisco! It’s a major cause of light-comedy car chases!

Some of these are cultural differences between us and Americans.

Duvets with separate covers aren’t really a thing in the states. Much more common to have fitted bottom sheet, flat top sheet, and comforter (like a duvet and cover combined). So the available sheet for post sex wrapping makes sense.

Likewise driving safety probably equates to 70/80s Britain depending which state you’re in. Drink driving is getting more awareness but it’s pretty normalised in most non dry states. Likewise some areas don’t require seatbelts or motorbike helmets.

Oh and lights. Overhead lighting is less prevalent there. You’ll probably have spots or something in the kitchen and perhaps some sort of pendant light over the breakfast bar and/or dinning table. All other lights are likely to be plugged in lamps.

He's a transpondster!

That's not even a word!

Someone breaks out into a dance in the street and the entire street full of people join in, perfectly in sync.
Woman has her first labour pain and immediately starts pushing with no labour build up whatsoever and a minute later gives birth without so much as smudging her mascara.
You walk round a dark house shouting hello, anyone here without bothering to turn the lights on.
When the serial killer leaps out of a dark corner at you, you immediately run upstairs ( in the dark of course ) and lock yourself in the bathroom, rather y running back out of the door that you came in through.
Of course, if you do have the sense to run out of the door that you came through, then it's obligatory to trip up within five yards of said door, dislocate your ankle and hobble off, while screaming to let the killer know exactly where you are.
Hero shoots up an entire town, kills several people, destroys several buildings and vehicles etc, all before the cops get there. He will then be seen wandering off in a blanket while the cops mill around wondering what the hell went off.
When receiving bad news, it is compulsory to down a whisky in a crystal tumbler, and then throw tumbler against a wall before swiping the contents of the table onto the floor.
For added effects, you can rip the phone wire out of the wall too.
You must answer your phone with a ' yeah' rather than 'hello' and then after two monosyllabic words just hang up ....or throw the phone against the wall, depending on the nature of the call.
If you suspect that your pregnant and you don't want anyone to know, simply do a pregnancy test and leave the wee stick on top of the rubbish bin.
If you've agreed to start a family, but you don't want to really, just continue to take the pill and leave the pill strip in your handbag, rather than have the injection or something.

It's a small thing but: People always say "bye" and "talk later" and just hang up.
They never end their phone calls with
"All right then."
"Okay then."
"nice talking to you."
"Yeah, great to catch up. I"ll look up that file you wanted, see if I can find it."
"Oh, no bother. Just, if you have time."
"Yeah, happy to. Okay then. I'll see you in the meeting."
"Yeah, Wednesday right? God, so much to do!"
"Yeah, hectic, right? hahahaha"
"Alright, I'll let you go."
"Yeah, take care."
"yeah, bye then!"
"Bye!"
"Bye!"

Which seems to be how a LOT of phone calls end!

The time it takes from when an actor starts dialling a number to the receiver answering is miniscule.

@feckinarse

It's a small thing but: People always say "bye" and "talk later" and just hang up. They never end their phone calls with "All right then." "Okay then." "nice talking to you." "Yeah, great to catch up. I"ll look up that file you wanted, see if I can find it." "Oh, no bother. Just, if you have time." "Yeah, happy to. Okay then. I'll see you in the meeting." "Yeah, Wednesday right? God, so much to do!" "Yeah, hectic, right? hahahaha" "Alright, I'll let you go." "Yeah, take care." "yeah, bye then!" "Bye!" "Bye!"

Which seems to be how a LOT of phone calls end!

That’s assuming they even manage a ‘bye’

In America people live in huge houses but have no spare room so guests, or husbands who did something wrong, always sleep on the sofa.

If you get bad news (on the phone or in person), the first response should always be "WHAT?!!"

If someone rings you with bad news, they must talk fast and you must always say "Whoa, whoa, slow down. What's wrong?"

If you hear a suspicious sound or see something suspicious, you mustn't go and get someone to help. You must go to find what it is, even if it means walking alone into a dark, dangerous forest. Then you must say "Hello! Is anyone there?" because the killer or monster or ghost isn't hiding for a reason - they're waiting for you to ask so they can breezily say "Yes, yes I'm here just waiting to kill you".

Always change into white cotton "panties" and a vest before embarking on a barefoot chase through the woods.
Or maybe don't bother, because you're going to trip over a tree root and twist your ankle anyway.

@mrsfeatherbottom

In America people live in huge houses but have no spare room so guests, or husbands who did something wrong, always sleep on the sofa.

And the sofa is always tiny even if the room is huge, and even if the house is full of lots of expensive looking fixtures and fittings they don't keep spare bedding, just a really small and tatty throw blanket.

I'm an insomniac who hates the light nights….no one in movies, or TV, ever shuts the curtains to sleep. Once you start noticing this it’s everywhere!

The person who is solving the crime always refuses on principle to tell anyone else who the murderer is, making them Favourite Murder Target no 1. Sometimes theylll go to tell their colleague and do a “...no I want to be sure” and then go off to get nearly murdered.

Miss Marple and Poirot do this too and someone else usually ends up dead - honestly they should have been in prison for withholding evidence!

If you are female you will obviously be stunning (the more beautiful you are the better your chance of survival) Unless you're a dumb blonde in a horror movie, then you've had it!

Some types of murder mystery (eg midsomer) there are 2 basic rules:

1. it's most likely to be the least likely person who dunnit, especially if there's a well known thesp quietly underemoting until the last five or ten minutes.

2. murders will continue to happen until the last five or ten minutes, but the detectives will eventually manage to save the last person in peril.

Haha yes Errol my mum always says “most famous dunnit”