Things that always happen in movies

[Soubriquet]

Doesn’t matter what film it is, love, horror, thriller they always do the same things

For example

Go to Mexico….and everything is suddenly sepia. Why?

Detectives or senior police officer (see also very important business men) always keep hard liquor in their drawers/office.

Before school all the teenagers have time to gather in the local coffee shop/canteen/school grounds and have a relaxed catch up.

Class bell rings, students all race out the door whilst the teacher yells their homework at them which is usually read pages .

Everyone always carries loads of paperwork, even though most things are paperless these days.

“….so, with your dad gone, and your mom hooked up with Luigi, you just grew to hate any kind of pasta…”

Hero gazes narrow-eyed into the middle distance.

“…something like that.”

No, exactly that. That’s why she said it - in case we hadn’t figured it out. So just say ‘yes’, you prat. Don’t try and come on all enigmatic and unreachable. Your backstory’s about as complex as a MacDonalds ad.

Everyone in sitcoms must wake up at about 3am because they are always going to the gym, grocery store and coffee house before they even go to work.

No one ever goes to the loo, ever.

No use of condoms or mention of them.

Every single phone number has 555 in it.

Done purposefully as 555 isn't a used telephone code in the US.

Similar to the eat one small item of food and leave trend, there will be an argument at a dinner table and one character will dramatically throw down their fork and flounce off in a huff, usually followed a few seconds later by the sound of a slamming door. This is annoying, especially when it's a teenager. No one ever gets dragged back to the table and told not to be a spoilt brat

Old male actors always have amazingly beautiful young partners.
All women are drop dead gorgeous.
All secondary characters, esp in cop shows, are ugly / fat
The hero always gets a scratch across the cheekbone - never on the end of their nose!
The actor you don’t recognise will die as soon as they land on the planet.
And always ..go into the basement without turning the lights on!
We should write a film together!

@Ireallydontknowimtired

Or is it "If you're gonna shoot, shoot - don't talk". Can't remember what I used to say either.

It’s “If you have to shoot, shoot. Don’t talk!”

Eli Wallace (the Ugly) improvised the line.

As for American films and televisions, you’ll see middle class characters hand-washing dishes rather than stacking a dishwasher. Nah, doesn’t really happen like that.

@Morgan12

Everyone in sitcoms must wake up at about 3am because they are always going to the gym, grocery store and coffee house before they even go to work.

Yes! In Friends, for example, they all seem to work about 2 hours a week!!

@LucyLocketsPocket

No one ever goes to the loo, ever.

Except in Eyes Wide Shut. Nicole wipes her bum I'm front of Tom and I remember thinking "I have never ever ever seen anybody else do that in a film" It was the least worst bit of the film tbf.

I've definitely seen a recent trend in films to show the lead actress on the toilet when it's completely irrelevant to the plot.

@KillingMeDeftly yep although it does make some sense for shift workers like Monica and Rachel (early series), self employed Phoebe and out of work Joey, it really DOES NOT for chandler and Ross. Doesn’t Chandler do something in finance??

[quote FoxgloveSummers]@KillingMeDeftly yep although it does make some sense for shift workers like Monica and Rachel (early series), self employed Phoebe and out of work Joey, it really DOES NOT for chandler and Ross. Doesn’t Chandler do something in finance??[/quote]
He's a transpondster! Or at least he was in earlier series, later he moved into advertising.

How they can afford those apartments on their initial salaries was another question. And why was C&J's apartment so much more basic than M&R's? I'd assume all the apartments in the building would have the same layout.

A dad in a film can never look after a baby competently. Instead there are always "hilarious" scrapes where he changes a nappy a the baby wees on him or he accidentally drinks breast milk left in the fridge or leaves the baby on a bus.
If the father is lovely and a brilliant dad who does loads with his kids he is probably going to die at some point.

Hear a spooky noise..goes and investigates by wandering around in the dark and not turning on any lights!

No one ever works their notice period. I'm looking at you Casualty and Holby City. No wonder the NHS is short staffed

So true as a PP says about cops always using their torches rather than turning the damn lights on. I’ve tried and tried to think WHY you might do this but the only explanation I can think of is that they want it to be a fun game of hide and seek. Would love to know what police actually do.

They always hold their torches up over their heads like they're waving a lighter at a Barry Manilow concert.

The police always arrive at the end when all the drama is over. The crime is always solved by the average person using their bravery and wit, they get the killer to confess, escape being murdered, then have them all wrapped up for the police to place in handcuffs.

@WalkersAreNotTheOnlyCrisps

The detective will be estranged from his family.

I always wonder if this is to do with casting, they have less people to hire to make the plot plausible 😂

A whack over the head with anything that’s to hand always knocks the baddy unconscious straight away and for just long enough.

Unless it Michael Meyers. Then he will get straight up after being shot, stabbed, run over, thrown from a cliff, sawn in half...

Horror films, whenever there is noise upstairs they have to go and investigate, rather than get the hell out of there.

Also in horror or thrillers - noise outside, go outside and leave the front door wide open, come back in lock the door and surprise, surprise the baddie is now in the house and the door is locked!

If you want a crime solved, take the lead cop off the case. Especially if it goes ‘all the way to the top’.

If a bomb goes off or a car explodes behind you, start walking away with swag and in slow motion.
Burn baby burn. 🔥