Things that always happen in movies

[Soubriquet]

Doesn’t matter what film it is, love, horror, thriller they always do the same things

For example

Go to Mexico….and everything is suddenly sepia. Why?

Almost noone ever just throws up unless they’re pregnant (occasional recent exceptions for drunkeness and of course nerves in Pitch Perfect) - never just a nice bout of food poisoning. They themselves never realise this or apparently know that sickness can be a pregnancy symptom.

The contents of their fridge is a metaphor for their lack of wellbeing. There’s either nowt but a withered carrot when they’re at a low ebb or everything you could ever eat when they’re looking after themselves.

@Geamhradh

All the lights are on when you come home, and every house has 376 lamps all over the place instead of ceiling lights. Nobody ever closes their curtains. After sex women always wear a man's shirt.

Sounds like Gilmore Girls to a t (shirt).

American film homes must have loads of mice what with those ginormous breakfasts that no one eats or seems to clingfilm up and put away.

This thread is so funny (and true).

Why do the women always sleep either naked or wear really revealing things but men always, even when having sex, have a t shirt and massive boxer shorts on!

Nobody ever needs a wee.

Someone moves in and just brings one bag on arrival.

Drinking from a mug that's clearly empty. Why not put water in it to make it more convincing?

Cars that can miraculously stop massive hails of gunfire with not one bullet getting through.

When a cop is coming up for retirement, you know he’s going to die

Nobody ever calls the cops at the first hint of trouble but takes things into their own hands.

Wake up in bed together and immediately go into full snogging and sex, huffing morning breath into each other's faces. Nobody needs a wee first either.

Horror films, whenever there is noise upstairs they have to go and investigate, rather than get the hell out of there.

The contents of their fridge is a metaphor for their lack of wellbeing. There’s either nowt but a withered carrot when they’re at a low ebb or everything you could ever eat when they’re looking after themselves.

...and then there is 9 1/2 weeks.

The science is always crap. Why don't they ever ask a scientist?

Close to this is if they are in a lab all the bottles contain pretty coloured liquids and someone is always using a pippette.

Sean Bean always dies unless he is doing a posh voice, then it's 50/50 (The Martian, Flightpath v GoldenEye).

If anyone is using a keyboard they only tap on the middle row and the letters appear at a regular speed.

Patients in hospitals 'flatline' in reality you can only get a flatline as shown by unplugging all the leads.

They then use the defib regardless of whether the patient is in a shockable rhythm and the ECG never goes off the screen because it can't display the defib signal.

02:54Soubriquet

Ugly women get their glasses removed and hair styled and look they were really beautiful all along!

She's all that being a perfect example. Dowdy dungarees, not a drop of paint on her (despite the paintbrush behind her ear) thick glasses. Take them off and holy cow!

Women always shower and have a bath in full make up and it never runs or gets sweaty. This always annoys me!

Also, for those saying Sean Bean dies I raise you Sean Pertwee. Dies in every film he appears in.

As the 'Ugly' character in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly memorably says "When you come to shoot, shoot - don't talk"

This used to be one of my favourite quotes from the film. I used to say it when I wanted someone to get to the point but I remember it as "If you wanna shoot, shoot - don't talk". Damn, I've been saying the wrong thing all these years.

Yes to the lead actor leaping up, with just enough strength left after being tortured to near-death, to kill the very strong and healthy bad guy.

Or is it "If you're gonna shoot, shoot - don't talk". Can't remember what I used to say either.

@TheWeeDonkey

People can drive without watching the road.

Oh the anxiety I get when they're talking to someone else in the car, looking away for what feels like ages. I tend to go "Watch the road you..."

No one seems to have to spend 5 mins unlocking their phone before using it. They just pick it up and dial out, no matter that their job role is very high security and their phone access should be secure. We know from
Mumsnet that in real life people spend ages trying to get into other people's phones!

@Thelikelylass

No one seems to have to spend 5 mins unlocking their phone before using it. They just pick it up and dial out, no matter that their job role is very high security and their phone access should be secure. We know from Mumsnet that in real life people spend ages trying to get into other people's phones!

Likewise it only ever takes about 3 attempts to guess someone's computer password even if they work for MI5, the Pentagon, FBI etc. You'd think they would really be trained in having stronger passwords. Thw person who has just guessed the password always says "bingo!" and then finds the file they need instantly. It sometimes takes me a good 5 mins to remember where I saved something on my own computer!

Someone walks into a bar/pub and orders ‘a pint’ but the bar man never asks ‘ pint of what?’

Every single phone number has 555 in it.

Children are happy to sit quietly at a kitchen table, while adults have a serious and uninterrupted conversation, even toddlers. Maybe it’s just my house and my feral child, but that doesn’t happen here 😂

Two people want to have a conversation and rather than leave the room, they ask everyone else to leave the room - even if they're eating. So rude.

That should have said a side conversation away from everyone else

The hero never says thank you or shows any gratitude for important information or items.

This is especially irksome when the donor of said information/item dies shortly after giving it.

Although the nightclub’s really crowded, the hero always gets a free table right next to the stage, and he’s always the random punter that the Jessica Rabbit character drapes herself around.

No matter how long the drive out from the city to the suspect’s mansion, the lead detective doesn’t explain to the novice detective what they’re going there for until they’re actually on the doorstep and have rung the bell.

No matter how large or small a home - one-bed apartment or mediaeval castle - the time it takes for the occupant to come to the front door once the bell’s been rung is exactly one second more than the time it takes the lead detective to explain to the novice detective what they’re doing there.

If you’re in a war, do not make any optimistic reference to having a pint with the hero once this damn mess is over, ‘cos that’s a surefire way to get yourself killed eight minutes from the end.

Car chases take place in city traffic and never result in the death of an innocent bystander.

I was going to say this, and everyone is great at driving a car at high speed, going down narrow streets or the wrong way down a one way street, through market etc