Sum your day up Bridget Jones style!

[Spidermanssecretary]

Weight: 12 st 5
Creme eggs: 1, pints of Stella: 1, death threats from middle aged men: 1, hours spent on Mumsnet: 2

Weight: massively fucking pregnant.
Cloth nappies washed and sanitised: too many to count
Emotional Breakdowns because of the heat:
Too many to count
Ice creams: 4

@MikeWozniaksGloriousTache

Weight: massively fucking pregnant. Cloth nappies washed and sanitised: too many to count Emotional Breakdowns because of the heat: Too many to count Ice creams: 4

Mine reads similarly

Weight: too pregnant to care
Doughnuts: 4
Wee breaks: too many to count
Emotional breakdowns: 2
Store assistants doing up my shoes: 1
Parking fines because I can't walk to the car quickly enough: 1
Ice creams: 1
Boots advantage club points: over 200

Are you OK re death threat?

But OK
Weight 12st
Glasses of pink prosecco 2, large
Cigarettes 2
Pizza 1
Number of times I told myself I'll do better tomorrow 5

Weight: 187lbs
Gym sessions: 2
Cake slices to counteract gym sessions: 1
Coffee: intravenous
Miles covered running after teenagers: 63 and counting!

Weight: scales are a tool of the patriarchy so can fuck right off
Crisps: two packets, one S&V, one chilli and sour cream
Alcohol: 1 Pimms (using June allowance 3 per week) , 1 Prosecco (Sewing Bee Final dispensation)
Takeaways:1 (see Sewing Bee dispensation above)

Weight ... too much
Vape ..... too often
Double decker 1
Coffee 8

Emails sent requesting a viewing - 496
Cups of tea - 8
Responses from shit letting agents - 2
Pain killers - 4
Boxes packed - 12
Nervous breakdowns - 1

Weight…private and confidential but nicely offset by a fun sized apple. Healthy.
Mini brownie of the high fibre kind….chocolate fix, keeping me regular.
Surprise positive comment when no positivity to be found…1
Flat tyre…1 (bastard)
Coffee…3 cups, black (on account of huge colossal private & confidential weight…dairy bad)
Steps…in excess of 8,000
Stairs climbed…4 flights.
Am practically Jane Fonda in manner of sweat bands and keep fit video…

Weight: Too fucking much
Number of hours of Netflix watched: Approx 8
Other achievements: Zero
Disclaimer: I'm ill

Weight: I dare not look.
Bags of crisps 2
Cornettos 1
Steps walked, sadly very few.
Achievment, Returned large frying pan and found the right sized one , so they day is a success

Weight 80kg
Glasses of red wine 2 (large) 🍷🍷
Visits from match.com:4
Number of times I've checked the post for important letter : 5

Weight: don’t care anymore
Wine: 1
Naps: 1 x 1 hour
Calls I’ve not answered: 1
Messages from various dating sites I’ve ignored: 3
Netflix: 2 episodes of motherland which I’ve already seen
Amazon deliveries: 0

Weight: Probably 63 kg
Sleep: 5 hrs
chocolate: 200 g
falls off of bike: 1
hours spent outdoors in glorious sun: 5
sunburns: nil, hooray!

Weight: huge- look like a beached wale.
Cigarettes: 3
Covid Test: 1
Will do better tomorrow.

Weight-10 stones
Steps 7k
Nervous breakdown-2
Biscuits ate during said breakdowns-15 ish
Coffee-7
Autistic sons meltdowns x5
Scratches and bites from said autistic sonx3
Attempts to leave the house-x2 will try tommorow
Contemplating running away-all day

All of the above? Too fucking hot to care..... (heat, not anger!)

Weight 72kg
Cigarettes 0
Alcohol 0
Big Macs.2
Cornetto.1
Grave visited. 1
Did ok today.

These are brilliant, keep them coming!
Nits found on dd's hair: 0 (hurray)
Bastard Sylvanian family babies found in work laptop bag: 3
Sequels to the little mermaid watched: 1 too many

Weight:9st something (last checked about 5 years ago)
Job offers: 0
Interviews: 0
Call from twaty ex: 1
Cups of tea: 8
Toast: 3 slices
Shitty day really.

Weight: somewhere that makes me obese.
Episodes watched: 1 - only because it was the end of a series
Times my children fell out : too many
Potatoes peeled: 6
Crisps eaten : three packets

Must try harder

Weight- down 1 lbs v.good
Alcohol units- 0. Not counting strawberry daiquiri at lunch as mostly fruit
Fruit- 1 unit. V.good

Number of times put on and took off floaty dress- 7.
Minutes spent looking for thong to go with floaty dress- 107. V.bad

Weight: 85kgs (5 mysteriously appeared in the last 4 months)
Number of dead things binned from the fridge: 5
Number of conversations with 15 yr old about new game release: eleventy billion
Number of times 15 year old talked about learning to drive: more than that
Bowls of ice cream with caramel condensed milk: 2 (mysterious 5kgs might be related)
Times considered going on the treadmill: 3
Alcohol: 0 (because these days it just makes tomorrow feel shit)

Weight: a bit more than admitted to the nurse
Height: a bit less than pretended to the nurse
MRI scans: 1
Changes of clothes due to hideous sweating: 2
UK holidays cancelled by provider due to ongoing restrictions: 1
Alternative similar UK holidays available at this late stage: 0
Friends seen in person for the first time in a year: 3
Iced coffees: 2
Cornettos devoured: 0

Weight: today is Day Off
Alcohol: 3, 2 units of which were blue
No of chairs fallen off from after 2 units of blue alcohol: 1 (in front of Chinatown crowd, v. v. embarrassing)
No of crappy pigeons who crapped on my head: 1 (but that is 1 too many)

HOWEVER day partly saved by Mr DHarcy meeting me from station with umbrella. Was v. romantic, if don’t count pissing down rain and v.wet dog that jumped on nice new dress.

Weight Off the scales
Alcohol 0
Food Fruit. More fruit. Cheese sandwich. A magnum. Shit food day.

Ill DC 1
Ill pupils bloody hundreds off and shielding
Football matches 1 (yay Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿)
Hours of YouTube videos with ill child millions