I'll take your Chester draws and I'll raise you a...

[smellyjellycopter]

Wallah! It's the first time I've seen voilà written this way. But when I think about it, it seems like a really obvious thing to do so I wonder how common it is.
Is it a "thing" that I've just missed before now?

@SecondCityShark

And sorry, I sounded like a bit of a prick in my second to last message. The second para was my mind wandering off and thinking about 'popcorn kettle black' again - not aimed at you.

No worries, it was fine.

@LemonJuiceFromConcentrate

Not quite the same but my ds half-heard the old-fashioned expression “common hausfrau” in some film or other (as in “she’s nothing but a common hausfrau”). He assumed it was a bird, like a common house sparrow.

I discovered this when I found him and dd playing a game on the trampoline involving bouncing on their knees and kind of pecking and repeatedly yelling “Common hausfrau!” at each other. Which seemed pretty weird until he explained.

It is funny when kids get things wrong😂 I used to think that in Star Trek there was a place called 'Bobligo' (where nobody had gone before) as in there was an uninhabited planet named Boboligo and that Star Trek was all about getting there

My ex and then 10 year old daughter wanted to go to the cinema to see ‘drastic park’. I thought I’d misheard, but My laptop was open and she had indeed been trying to find a movie called ‘Drastic Park’. Ex was 34 , also had to rewrite his CV where he’d been listing his skills as ‘cunting customers change’.

You have to blame his parents really.

Especially when it takes seconds to Google it, it's not as if they have to go to the library!

Precisely. And it makes me wonder what their inner thoughts look like if their outer ones are so nonsensical

shabby sheikh

I've met a couple in my time of working in London hotels and they've always been immaculately dressed!

It is funny when kids get things wrong😂
I used to think that in Star Trek there was a place called 'Bobligo' (where nobody had gone before) as in there was an uninhabited planet named Boboligo and that Star Trek was all about getting there

Love it! That’s where all my jumpers go 😂

@PracticingPerson

Is amazing how many people think being able to spell matters more than having the good manners not to criticise other people's errors.

I really hate these threads.

cunts' pedants' corner is that way -->

Aaaah I really wanted your apostrophe to be in the wrong place

It baffles me that people just walk around aping sounds with no thought to what they might mean

Me too. It reminds me of being a child and singing pop songs with the words all wrong. Sometimes I’d have completely made up words in there, too. I just assumed I didn’t understand because it was grown up stuff.
But when you’re an actual grown up, surely you expect what you’re saying to make sense? Surely you question what you hear if it seems ungrammatical/nonsensical/illogical? Surely you say “No, that can’t be right” and so check what you’re writing or saying?

@krankykittykat

'delete if not aloud' on Facebook groups

“I couldn’t hear it so I’ve deleted it”.

^it always causes lots of confusion. I admin a page which is female oriented and we get lots of MLM spam messages hoping to tap into female networks. I’ve stopped being polite to them now.

@Anewchapter

I recently saw a Whilborough for sale.

Brilliant! That's just how my FIL would say it!

There's a pair of raw iron gates for sale on my local Facebook page.

They're wrought iron gates obviously.

I love threads like this. They make me laugh, and I'm not laughing at people. The mistakes remind me of my mum as she was notorious for getting her words wrong. Also, childrens' misunderstandings are the cutest. I read Gervase Phinn years ago and he wrote about a time he was observing a class and got chatting to a child who had drawn a beautiful motorway with lots of sparkling gems. He asked why and she said it was ' a jewel carriageway.'
I agree with a pp though that it's grating when people in education, for example, write or speak incorrectly. I worked with a teaching assistant once who declared to a group of children, 'Yous was all messing about !'
That took some explaining. And a nursery near me states on its advertisement, 'The nursery that care's.' That bugs me.

jewel carriageway
🚗. 🚗. 🚗
💎💎💎💎💎💎

In the US, the saying is "dead as a doornail," @JudgeJ.

And again, thinking back several years, but I KNOW this was a typo, I saw an advert for a home for sale. "Divorcing, MUST SELL. New kitchen, sunken living room, huge dick overlooking valley for entertaining." And I thought, "Damn. He really DID lose everything in the divorce!"

Bone apple teeth, good lord

@nildesparandum

Ano for I know

My middle name is Aino, pronounced "I know". Unfortunately, an old boss used to spell it as "I know" too, and it went on my health authority certificate. Customers who saw it probably wondered what the fuck my parents were thinking, giving me that as a middle name.

@SymphonyofShadows

I’m surprised at how many people on MN think ‘a lot’ is one word.

Well, many think no is a complete sentence, so not too surprising.

Seen on here today 'old wise tail'

The use of 'draws' in a group I'm in (Australia) had me thinking maybe the did things differently here. But no. Juts several thousand people who don't seem to know it's drawer/ drawers. Gives me the rage

Sometimes misheard words become normal usage.
Plonk to describe cheap white wine actually is the WW1 british soldiers version of vin blanc.

Plonk to describe cheap white wine actually is the WW1 british soldiers version of vin blanc.

Is that definitely misheard though or deliberate rhyming slang?

Willy been

Ah right! Thanks @DaphneMoonsSeattle , @Benjispruce3 and @Howshouldibehave. I’ve not heard of that before, but at least now should I ever use it, I won’t call it a squid!

MIL is a top offender with ‘definately’ so we now believe she is ‘H’ from Line of Duty.

I must admit I always get this wrong but hopefully since Line of Duty (and I didn't even watch it!!) I have learned my lesson!

I am surprised at those who get sliver/slither mixed up though!

I've come across "out of the blew" a frightening amount of times recently.