What has your 'Pandemic experience' been like?

[steakandcheeseplease]

After catching up with some friends I'd not seen for ages it was interesting to hear the different experiences they had. From being in the first strictest lockdown and giving birth to totally locking themselves away to it not really having any impact. No one hardly seen my friend baby till it was a year old

My experience.

My school was one of the first to close. Was on the news. That was scary and I was frightened.

The shops scared me, it was apocalyptic. A woman shouted at me outside Asda because I had my children with me ( no one else to have them)

Im very lucky I live semi rurally so was never trapped in the house, we went out as much as we could. No one could see us. I even did open water swimming in the lake near us and paddle boarded.

I visited my DGM nearly daily. She was 88 and living by herself. I'd sit at the end of the path with a flask of tea and id see how she was or bring shopping. I could see her legs were getting weaker as she couldn't leave the house. She gave me a hug once as I was crying about something.

My marriage ended due to us having issues and being holed up together escalated it.

I realised how bad my anxiety had got when I started retching for no reason

My kids ruined my house.

I stopped outside high rise flats in my car and seen a toddler up in the last flat (about 8 floors up) on a tiny tricycle on a tiny balcony just still looking through the gaps. That was a defining moment for me.

School work went out the window. But my kids were eventually allowed back in school as I'm a key worker.

I met up with several good friends and had socially distanced walks where no one could see us when one of us were really struggling.

I'm shocked at how many of my friends have had or still have mental health issues due to this period of time.

I feel like I've checked out of covid now, I'm more worried about the wave of debt and financial crisis that will come from this.

What was your experience like?

My son has really suffered. It's been his first year at Uni. Because his Uni lied last August on their website about "blended learning" and told students there'd be face to face teaching in small groups etc., he made the decision to go to Uni, live on campus, etc. Almost immediately after the deadline, the Uni changed their website and said there "may be" blended learning where possible. (I have screen shots and dates showing the subtle website change from the internet archive website). In reality, the teaching staff had been told they wouldn't be on campus and told they wouldn't be doing face to face teaching at the start of last Summer. So, even in the months that small group face to face teaching was allowed by Govt laws/guidance etc., his Uni didn't do any of it. His Uni tried to charge £18 per day for a small food parcel for students isolating due to covid. They still insisted that students paid the "college" fees despite the college buildings (common room, study areas etc) being closed. Even though the staff car parks were virtually empty, they still fined students for parking in them (valid permits for different car parks at the far end of campus). Security guards stopped students from the same flat (household) walking around together. Many of the "live" online lectures were actually recordings of last year's real lectures with the lecturer spending a couple of minutes "live" at the start to introduce it - that justified it being a "live lecture" for the statistics/reporting. He's just finished his first year exams and is pretty adament he's not going back next year. Lots of Unis have bent over backwards to help their students and support them. My son's uni has basically just ripped them off for their money. I've been on his campus a few times during the middle of a "normal" working day, both during lockdowns and between lockdowns. It's a ghost town, the staff simply aren't there, virtually everything is closed, even the student support services were closed (apparently it's online only this year!).

First one was massively scary and I was afraid to leave the house. We couldn’t get supermarket deliveries for a while and had boxes. Better when we were able to get deliveries later on. The worst thing was not being able to get medical appointments and dental appointments. In September I paid for both.

Second one felt as though we were more used to it and had got into a routine. Third was hard, through the winter, but I think there’s more acceptance that this is how things will be now.

What annoyed me was the expectation that everyone over the age of 65 was fair game to be sacrificed. Those of us who are older have precious little expectation of ever having the sort of life we had and we have far less time left.

I was pregnant during the first lockdown (about 22/23 weeks when it was announced) so I was absolutely terrified about catching it. DH WFH for the first month then was furloughed until early September when business dried up. Older DC were obviously homeschooled which was HELL. The teachers didn’t provide much help at all other than a very loose timetable once a week mostly with links to websites like Bitesize so I had to wing it and make things up. I am an English teacher but I teach adults so totally different to primary school children. With DH being furloughed, he was around to help which was nice. We watched all of the HP films in a week, the garden looked the nicest it ever has and that’s definitely the longest we’ll ever spend together. We didn’t go anywhere at all from late March- late July when DS was born. I went to my appointments and DH went to the supermarket once a fortnight (yes, we had to make food stretch for a fortnight! Lots of frozen fruit/Veg and UHT milk!).

Once DS was born in July, cases were exceptionally low and things were reopening. My anxiety was slightly alleviated and we decided to start trying to live once again. We saw family a bit over the summer for the first time in months and we went out to eat in restaurants (EOTHO was amazing!). The DC obviously went back in September which was pleasant and things started to feel slightly normal again.

Lockdown in January was dire. DH was at work so couldn’t help with homeschooling. The teachers offered more help but they still didn’t send enough work at all and I found myself having to pick up the slack so they didn’t waste away for 2 months. I had to juggle a toddler, baby and homeschooling 3 primary school children alone. It was obviously winter so snowed a lot and was generally just freezing, not like the first lockdown with the glorious sunshine. I became very depressed and am still struggling now.

I didn’t go inside a shop for a year. I first went in one over Easter this year and it felt so weird. Masks are still shit, I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to it. I hate the fact everything has to be prebooked often weeks in advance to get a slot so there’s no spontaneity anymore. I hate the fact baby groups are opening up but only to a select few people so I’m just placed on waiting lists. I’m very lonely and struggling with my mental health.

It's been a mixed bag for me. But on the whole we've been extremely fortunate.

I'm a sahm to a toddler and at the time of the first lockdown a 4 year old. So first lockdown was ok, it was a bit 'end of days' with going shopping etc. I was scared, we were so worried about our older family members catching it. DH was sent to work from home a week before actual lockdown but we have an office at home so that was ok and I'd pulled DD out of preschool that week too. I remember being really relieved when they locked down. I'll never forget watching Boris' address to the nation.

I had been reading the prepper threads on here since Christmas and kind of felt like a situation was incoming, so I'd gradually filled the freezer and got some extra tins, nappies, non perishables, things like calpol and adult paracetamol in etc and I'd told our parents to do the same. Luckily they did even though they thought I was a bit mad so I wasn't worried about immediate family going without and it meant that when other family members couldn't get things like calpol for love nor money I could give them a bottle. My brother has a pain condition and couldn't get any paracetamol anywhere - I wrapped two packs and posted them first class to him in a Jiffy bag as he lives half an hour away so I couldn't go to him (I bet that's not allowed!). He got them the next day. We took on the shopping for both sets of parents as my DM is CV and DHs parents are late 60s.

First lockdown eldest was at preschool so no real homeschooling. We've got a large garden so we just spent an inordinate amount of time playing. It got very boring and repetitive! I was trying to get DD's EHCP because she has ASD through in time for school and also sort her school place and arrange a transition and that was very very stressful. We managed though and it was done by the July. DH and I left the house for walks individually, we didn't take the children out at all (apart from the garden and they had plenty of exercise and fresh air there). It was all so unknown. We never washed the shopping. We did weirdly quarantine parcels though!

DH working from home actually saved us money because he normally has a long commute. So no more £300 a month fuel bills. We also saved because we weren't going anywhere although I expect I've spent a small fortune on crafting activities, garden toys, paddling pools etc that I wouldn't normally have. Plus homeschooling materials later - mathlink cubes, letter and number flashcards, books, a new laptop in the end because ours was crap and not up to the job.

Second lockdown felt relatively normal because schools were open and DH had continued to work from home anyway. It just meant that we couldn't do Christmas in the usual way.

Third lockdown was more troublesome because I had to homeschool a reception age child with ASD whilst also wrangling a toddler and keeping quiet enough for DH to be able to work. The novelty of that soon wore off. Still I counted myself lucky that I wasn't trying to work too. I feel awful for parents who have had to try to do both it is an impossible ask.

DH working from home has saved us money (enough to start overpaying the mortgage) and given him way more time with the children than he would ordinarily have. He's home for school drop offs sometimes (around work commitments, I can and do do most of them but sometimes he likes to) and he's home for baths and bedtime. Monday to Friday he used to be out of the house 7-7 so missed all that. It's invaluable. However I will happily admit that him being here 24/7 has put a bit of a strain on us, I didn't sign up to be a sahm with him in the house the whole time. It changes the dynamic, I'm very used to getting on myself and doing things my way without interference and he gets under my bloody feet, makes a mess, asks annoying questions all the time, has tons of 'helpful' suggestions....He is going back to the office two days a week from September and I can't wait! It will do him good too.

I've not seen my 90 year old Gran for 18 months except for one visit over the care home fence last summer. She miraculously has managed to avoid getting it, despite it being rife in her home and lots of the residents dying from it. I should be allowed to see her from next week and I'm so glad we didn't lose her in the interim. She has dementia and it's so upsetting to think she may not have understood and might have thought we'd all abandoned her. She hasn't lost her spirit though, she merrily told the nurse to piss off when they gave her covid jab and said she wasn't having any of 'that muck' (she did have them both in the end, she doesn't have capacity anymore so my mum consented and they distracted her and did it).

We're extremely lucky that no one we know has been seriously ill or died. We only know a handful of people who've had it at all. We're also lucky that it's not put us in a bad financial situation and that we've got a decent sized home with garden. So annoyances here certainly, it's been hard going but I don't ever forget that there are people that have had it a million times harder than I have.

Generally, we've stuck to the rules.

I got sick on St Patrick's Day 2020, most likely caught it in the office. About a dozen of my colleagues got sick at the same time. Lots of DH's colleagues got sick. DH got sick shortly after I did. DS got sick, but more mildly. Never got tested, but weeks of low-grade fever, breathlessness, coughing, heart palpitations, utter exhaustion - well, you may draw your own conclusions. After 6 months I could go to sleep without doing breathing exercises first to ease my aching lungs.

Been WFH ever since, as has DH. Not lost a penny in income and our quality of life has improved overall. I have no intentions of returning to the office for more than 2 days p.w., hopefully less, and DH is similar. We are lucky to have decent employers who are making big changes to our offices and working patterns.

I haven't been in a supermarket for a year, and have no intention of going back to grocery shopping in person, it's a waste of time. I don't dislike people, but I don't want to go back to crowded events for the foreseeable. DS has coped really well with all the disruption, and I think it's helped develop his organisational skills and self-motivation, which are vastly better than mine at his age!

I should perhaps add that our parents are dead and our family are not local, so not seeing people has been easier on us than it has on others. It's really been one continuous lockdown, other than DS going in and out of school, and it's been fine. We're now double-jabbed, but I don't pay much mind to what the government says, as I don't believe they have our best interests at heart.

I sold my semi rural cottage January 2020. Completed July 2020. No house to go to so lived in my van until he next lockdown in November. That was interesting while continuing to work shifts as a key worker to those with mental health issues. The campsite had closed almost all facilities so showering was an experience too!
During this time socially I didn't see family for a few months, DD was furloughed and vulnerable so we chose not to even see each other. That was hard. I'd go for a walk with elderly DM but never went inside anyone's house
The loneliest time was the actual move when all my stuff went into storage and I had no idea when I'd end up. The campsite had a weird vibe towards the End of summer when we all knew things were getting bad again
In November moved to stay with DD until I completed on a new house in January 2021
That wasn't a great experience for either of us
Moved to new house and the day I moved I contracted Covid.
I first thought I was ill from stress, cold and exhaustion, I was wrong and then laid up in bed for two weeks surrounded by boxes and the most horrendously scummy house I've been in.
Life slowly got back to a new normal, the house isn't so scummy and I'm very happy here
I think I just took the whole thing as just another experience.
Goodness knows how life doesn't always go as we plan or how we would like it to. There wasn't much I could do about the global situation so I just got on with it

Fucking horrible.

In many many ways we have been lucky. Nobody close to me died of covid - one relative in hospital quite ill with it but recovered. Me and DH still have jobs. We have a nice house with a garden. I do know this is so much better than many have experienced.

But oh God it has been GRIM, working from home with kids around. My youngest turned 1 at the start of the first lockdown, then we have primary age DC as well and me and DH were both working full time still. I was also working on covid response which was frantic and stressful and scary. My work tried to be flexible to start with for those with DC but that didn’t last, and then over winter lockdown (when our nurseries as well as schools closed again) it was just, tough shit, get the work done.

It was so relentless and so stressful. I felt like I was constantly running just to stand still, crap parent and crap employee, always exhausted.

I remember one day where I’d woken up early to get as much work done as I could before the children work up, but ended up having to work twice as long anyway. Finally got my laptop away and out-of-office on to try to homeschool while watching toddler while DH worked. Toddler fell over and scraped knee and howled, older sibling sobbed and ranted on and off for three hours. Tagged DH back in and turned my laptop back on to a flurry of “WHERE WERE YOU this STILL ISN’T DONE, you were TOLD it was urgent when I emailed you two hours ago!” type messages.

It all felt so endless and so bleak, and I felt like such a useless failure. And so lonely, too; my friends and family were either in my position with little time to catch up, or they were having the time of their lives ‘enjoying this slower pace of life’ and I couldn’t relate. I don’t resent anyone for managing to find some good in it but some people were so utterly tactless. One relative, normally kind and sensible, tried to cheer us all up on a family WhatsApp chat with some glurgey meme about how our children would think this was great when they looked back one day, because what they’d remember was all that time with their parents and never having to hear “I’m too busy to play.”

I am pretty sure I got covid at the start of the first lockdown and ironically it was probably the least stressful part of all of this!

The first lockdown was utterly miserable because of the most selfish people on the planet as neighbours. I worked long days throughout it and survived on 4 hours sleep a night (if I was lucky).

I had a stressful time selling and moving. I've been very worried about the pandemic, how truly awful some people are, the economy and the crash that will happen.

But I know I'm very lucky that all my loved ones are okay.

@user1497207191

The financial support has polarised people. I'm an accountant. I've got clients who've received no support at all and have lost their savings, their businesses and homes. A couple of clients have killed themselves over this. On the other hand, other clients have literally had money thrown at them. One couple have 3 small Air BNB flats. They've so far received £28,000 PER FLAT, that's £84,000, with more money to come. That's far more than they lost during the months they couldn't rent them out, so they're quids in. Then you have, say a plumber with annual profits of just under £50k who's received nearly £30k in SEISS grants, but an electrician with annual profits of just over £50k who received nothing. There needs to be an urgent enquiry into Rishi Sunak's crazy scattergun approach to covid support for self employed.

That’s insane. I have received £7k from Mr Sunak’a self-employed scheme (have lost many multiples of that) and £7k is quite good compared to what others I know received.

I don’t know how anyone could have got £84k without applying fraudulently though tbh. But yeah the system stinks.

Pretty shit.

DH works in aviation and we're extremely fortunate that he still has his job.

My three secondary school age children had no education from March - August last year, and were off school from mid-December to mid-April this year. The two in exam years have been utterly fucked by the incompetence of the SQA and the Scottish government.

My parents were and still are terrified by the whole thing. My dad's probable dementia has gone unassessed because the NHS turned into the National Covid Service.

My daughter's mental health took a battering due to the isolation, uncertainty and not seeing her friends. In about February we took the decision to allow her to see friends again inside and I don't feel guilty about that in the slightest (and her friends' parents are clearly OK with it too).

Pre-pandemic I worked from home, no change in that over the last year and a bit, except I'm now trying to work at home without the benefit of an empty, quiet house. Also trying to complete Masters studies with no access to Uni library and archives.

Can't really think of any benefits at all, except the saving on petrol for DH's commute.

I've been very lucky really, I live in a small town that has been barely touched by covid (51 cases over the whole pandemic so far). My parents back in the UK got it though, last March, and my dad was very ill and on a ventilator for weeks so that was very worrying (he recovered thankfully)

We went into a sort of lockdown in March, schools closed but my DD's school (and I think all the schools in my country really) managed it really well, she was given set work to do each day after the first week or so, and send in to her teacher who marked it each day so there was very little pressure on me. I was home anyway with toddler DS and OH was able to get money to help with lost earnings via his union fund. There wasn't much impact on supermarket supplies in my town, for a while there was a shortage of some things but it never got that bad.

That first Spring was the hardest, at home most of the time (we live right next to a forest so we went for walks every day which helped a lot) but when school reopened for the last two weeks of term and DD could see her friends again, things relaxed and we never went back into a lockdown like that again. No more school closures since then and DD has been allowed to play with friends freely since then. Clubs the children were supposed to do didn't happen, like toddler gymnastics and circus school, but Scouts carried on for DD (outside only) and her circus school reopened in small groups.

Honestly, the hardest part for me, apart from worrying about my dad when he was ill, was not being able to go to the UK to visit my family last summer. Now my parents are supposed to come here next month but that may not happen still because brexit (if UK was still part of the EU they would be able to travel here with EU green pass making it easier).

So I have been very fortunate, my heart breaks for those who haven't.

I should have asked for furlough. The proper lockdown period of looking after a 1yo and a 3yo while juggling work with my husband was awful, dangerous abs not something I ever want to do again. My older one was miserable and isolated, my younger was was incredibly demanding. We realised quickly that it was impossible to work and look after them properly so had to do shifts. I have never been so tired and stressed. I remember snapping at one of the school mums who was banging on about how wonderful the pandemic was and how the school should do something to celebrate the time we all had to spend as a family. She’d had a lovely 6 months so some people have really enjoyed it.

We then all got covid and that was shit too. It was so worrying knowing we were too sick to look after the children properly and wouldn’t be able to get help if we deteriorated. We were quite scared in week 1 but better in week 2.

GoldenOmber I think there were a lot of parallels with our posts. I think anyone working with a 1yo will have had a really hard time. I know so many people with pre-schoolers who were close to breakdowns

I’ve been lucky.

When we were first asked to WFH, it was a total blessing because I was up against the deadline for MSc dissertation. I was able to do the work that needed to be done for my job but I basically spent every free minute focused on my dissertation.

I had my full salary as I could WFH and then last summer I took up my place on a full-time funded PhD programme. All of my research, training and meetings can be done from home, and lockdown actually means I’ve been able to attend virtual workshops/webinars/conferences that I wouldn’t have been able to pre-pandemic.

I’m an introvert and it has suited me very well. DH has worked throughout (postman) so we haven’t even been cooped up together for a year. We also don’t have kids. It did mean that my 30th birthday was spent in full-on lockdown 1.0, my holiday was cancelled and I didn’t get a graduation ceremony. However, I saved a shit tonne of time and money, cleared my debts and found a sleeping pattern that suits me much better!

I’m dreading the social pressure to get out and see people

I was very glad I didn't have young dc during the pandemic, I take my hat off to parents who've home schooled because I honestly don't think I'd have coped.

We had been used to having the house to ourselves as both dc were living away, and had been having lots of day trips, weekends away and holidays. It was rather a shock to the system when the pandemic hit and the eldest headed back to live with us as her flat mate had gone back to the family home and she didn't want to be stuck on her own in a flat.

The youngest was on his placement year and carried on working as normal but several of his housemates left and he was pretty lonely at weekends, I worried about his mental health but he was pretty stoic. He then moved back last summer and has done most of his final year at home.

Dd and I both then got furloughed and had a pretty pleasant few months but then she got made redundant which was stressful - fortunately she found a new job and has been able to save a house deposit, something she wouldn't have afforded while renting. Hopefully she is moving into her new house soon, we have reached the stage where we feel rather crowded and we are all looking forward to getting our own space back.

Having everyone at home 100% of the time (all wfh) has really taken its toll on my MH at times, I just feel like I never get any peace without being able to hear someone else on a zoom call, our house isn't very big so there's no escaping it. I've also ended up being chief cook and bottle washer as I'm the only one who's part time, which has led to some resentment and a few rows.

Apart from that I feel pretty fortunate that we are all still on speaking terms and haven't suffered any financial hardship or lost anyone to covid, we've had less problems than most.

@Frazzled2207 I don’t know how anyone could have got £84k without applying fraudulently though tbh. But yeah the system stinks.

No, nothing fraudulent about it. All criteria complied with for each grant. These were all local authority grants, based on each property being registered for business rates. Questions to answer "yes" to were very simple, i.e. "has your business been adversely affected by covid" etc. Local authorities had to send money back to the govt if they didn't pay it out, so many were being very "flexible" as to who they gave it to and had discretion to set their own criteria. But if you didn't have business premises liable to business rates, you got nothing under the local authority schemes.

[quote user1497207191]**@Frazzled2207* I don’t know how anyone could have got £84k without applying fraudulently though tbh. But yeah the system stinks.*

No, nothing fraudulent about it. All criteria complied with for each grant. These were all local authority grants, based on each property being registered for business rates. Questions to answer "yes" to were very simple, i.e. "has your business been adversely affected by covid" etc. Local authorities had to send money back to the govt if they didn't pay it out, so many were being very "flexible" as to who they gave it to and had discretion to set their own criteria. But if you didn't have business premises liable to business rates, you got nothing under the local authority schemes.[/quote]
ah right sorry I thought you were referring to the self employed income support scheme. Yeah I didn't have business premises so not eligible at all.
totally wrong that some businesses were able to readily claim so much and others got virtually nothing.

Husband and I both key workers so lucky that we still have jobs.

When the pandemic first started DH was given a laptop to WFH which he hated.

My department closed so I was redeployed and spent eight hours a day packing PPE kits, which I also hated but again, felt lucky that I was still employed.

Reopened in summer and went back to work as normal. DH got a new job and pay rise and moved to office working 3 days out of 5 so he was less miserable.

The DC coped well and did get to go to school part time because we are keyworkers, though they would not engage in homeschooling when they were home. Felt for youngest DC who was 15 months when it first hit so missed out on the parent/toddler groups etc

Lost my Grandad just before Christmas, he was very poorly already and was in hospital due to a stroke. Tested positive for covid the day before he died so was recorded as 'death with covid' despite having no impact on his death at all as it was due to heart failure caused by the stroke.

Funeral was only immediate family which was sad as he would've had a big turnout in normal times.

We all got covid in January. DH and I were poorly for around 10 days. Not seriously. It wasn't pleasant but we coped. Hardest part was having to entertain 3 DC while cooped up in the house (they had it too but barely noticeable for them).

Mother in law just visited for the first time in 18 months as she lived in Portugal which was nice.

Overall it's been ok for us, certainly compared to others anyway.

We had a bit of a mixed bag.

We lost several family members and a friend, all very close to us, and couldn’t travel for their funerals. That was bloody awful. There were a few other shit things that were difficult to cope with (especially during the first lockdown) but, on the whole, we’ve been really lucky.

I’m a little bit of a prepper and had made my CEV mum do the same so didn’t need to panic buy or struggle for delivery slots. We both have our jobs and have worked throughout, we have a couple of quid in the bank and we’ve both had our second jabs (we’re both vulnerable so although we’re still being very careful, it’s nice to feel a bit safer). Our marriage has always been good but has only got stronger. Obviously all luck rather than judgement, but I’m very grateful and aware that things could have been very different.

Truthfully, taking out of equation people dying of course and the fact the economy is screwed for me on a personal level its actually been one of the best times in my life! I've definitely changed as a character for the better because of it.

For me it's been both the best and worst time of my life.

DD4 is CEV. We were warned starkly early on by her consultant that she likely wouldn't survive Covid. Having seen her in resus twice already in her life that was a terrifying thought.

For the first time ever my childhood issues that mean I'm a prepper actually done us an amazing turn. Despite having a very large/busy household we managed to organise a weekly delivery from the butcher and a local fruit veg place that meant we didn't need to go near a supermarket at the height of the madness.

We have a 6 kids. DS was away at uni and chose to stay away as he was working. We had 2 teens, 2 primary schoolers and DD4 (who requires a lot of care) so life was looking busy.
Then SIL hit a major issue. Her ex fucked off. Her three primary school age kids come here two afternoons a week and usually for a week in the holidays. She's works in ICU for the NHs and her speciality (respiratory medicine) was in high need. However once the schools closed there was no way her Mum could look after her three full time, but with the risk to DD4 there was no way we could have them here while she worked. So we all had to make the tough choice that her 3 came here and she didn't see them in person for "a few weeks" until things calmed down. Between the spike and then SIL getting very ill I had 2 teens, 5 primary schoolers and 1 pre-schooler full time for 16 weeks. It was very, very hard.

However, that was also balanced by the fact that the bond between the children is absolutely amazing. The bickered occasionally, but the mostly kept each other going. I've never been prouder. My teens (a level students at the time) came into their own over the period. The one who wants to be a teacher absolutely amazed me in how she helped the younger ones with their home schooling (unprompted!). The other, who wants to be a chef, was in her element meal planning and cooking food that was better than I ever could!

I feel for the two teens. I strongly feel they were completely let down over the results saga. DD1 lost out on her first choice of uni and then by the time it was all rectified she'd changed plans and laid a deposit on accommodation elsewhere. They then went to different unis in the same city and were both let down by repeated "we'll have some face to face" when neither uni had any plans for either. One uni was absolutely appalling because DD wasn't in halls (they are sharing a flat). At one point when they had to isolate DD2's uni actually provided food parcels for them both and it was them that told the girls that DD1's uni would be hopeless because she wasn't in halls - and they were right.

Christmas was very difficult for MIL. It was the first without FIL and we'd all promised him when he was dying that we'd continue our tradition of massive family Christmases. While it wasn't remotely our fault we all felt bad that we couldn't fulfil that promise. It was also so quiet compared to usual so his loss was felt even more.

It's quite difficult atm as everyone else is determinedly wanting everything to be normal and people are getting quite arsey about us still being very careful. It's like because I made the very, very difficult decision to let DS2 and DD3 go back to school - for the sake of their education and mental health - then we should be just meeting and mixing with all and sundry. Trying to make some people understand that DD4 is still as vulnerable as she ever was and that taking risks that I feel are unavoidable is horrible and scary so we still have to be as careful as we can.

I have hated all the restrictions from day 1. I've remained in work. But all the things I loved stopped and I fell into a hole. No motivation, poor sleep, feel crap. Just hope I return to myself once this is over. It's been tough. My heart goes out to those who have suffered and lost.