What has your 'Pandemic experience' been like?

[steakandcheeseplease]

After catching up with some friends I'd not seen for ages it was interesting to hear the different experiences they had. From being in the first strictest lockdown and giving birth to totally locking themselves away to it not really having any impact. No one hardly seen my friend baby till it was a year old

My experience.

My school was one of the first to close. Was on the news. That was scary and I was frightened.

The shops scared me, it was apocalyptic. A woman shouted at me outside Asda because I had my children with me ( no one else to have them)

Im very lucky I live semi rurally so was never trapped in the house, we went out as much as we could. No one could see us. I even did open water swimming in the lake near us and paddle boarded.

I visited my DGM nearly daily. She was 88 and living by herself. I'd sit at the end of the path with a flask of tea and id see how she was or bring shopping. I could see her legs were getting weaker as she couldn't leave the house. She gave me a hug once as I was crying about something.

My marriage ended due to us having issues and being holed up together escalated it.

I realised how bad my anxiety had got when I started retching for no reason

My kids ruined my house.

I stopped outside high rise flats in my car and seen a toddler up in the last flat (about 8 floors up) on a tiny tricycle on a tiny balcony just still looking through the gaps. That was a defining moment for me.

School work went out the window. But my kids were eventually allowed back in school as I'm a key worker.

I met up with several good friends and had socially distanced walks where no one could see us when one of us were really struggling.

I'm shocked at how many of my friends have had or still have mental health issues due to this period of time.

I feel like I've checked out of covid now, I'm more worried about the wave of debt and financial crisis that will come from this.

What was your experience like?

First lock down was ok, it was a novelty to have everyone home and we were good at playing board games etc. None of us got ill. I got a new job, which has been odd, not meeting colleagues etc. Eldest ds went to uni. Then the second lock down and I found that hard, weather awful, rubbish Christmas, ds off school again. I lost all motivation and enthusiasm. It’s not even as if I was a particularly social person but it all became so boring and dull. Now I am not rushing to be out and I feel daft for feeling like that. However we have been very lucky, we had work, space and the ability to support home schooling.

do people even want to hear that I personally was barely effected and absolutely loved not having to do school runs, for example?

I presume not

Being honest. It's probably been a benefit to me. I know that there has been so much tragedy and suffering and I'm well aware of that of course, but overall I have been very lucky. We obviously had the generalised fear of Covid and anxiety about shopping and going out, as well as worry over friends and family, but our own little family hasn't suffered really.

I was on maternity leave when the first lockdown down happened in March 2020 with my third child. My DH was immediately able to wfh but due to the nature of his job he was unable to do any real work for about three months (couldn't be furloughed as public sector). So we were able to spend a lot of time as a family.

My oldest son started primary school last summer and was incredibly anxious (not pandemic related) so the various periods of homeschooling due to isolating and lockdowns actually broke the year up for him.

My baby is now 18 months and I went back to work in September. But I was able to wfh so have never been back to work physically. This means that I have been able to take the kids to school/nursery and pick them up every day and have been generally around more for them.

Milt middle child had Covid last year but it was virtually symptomless and none of the rest of us caught it. None of our other family or friends have actually had Covid.

I'd love to physically go back to work and so would my DH. There were times it was stressful but yes, there have also been huge benefits.

I do feel bad saying all this, I know lots of people's lives have been ruined, but that's my honest answer. I know how lucky I am.

I was sad and frightened mostly. The awful fear in the early days when going to the supermarket felt like we were risking our lives. The endless washing and disinfecting, not being able to get soap and hand gel.
I was really scared that my parents were going to die.
Watching all the empty streets and feeling like I was living in a horror film. Weirdly despite the rear I was also really bored - couldn't concentrate on anything. Hated internet shopping, nothing ever in stock. I really missed my normal quiet, uneventful life.
But it was nice having DH home. And ds from university. DS1 has given up his rented flat and come home so has managed to get out of debt and start saving, so that's good. I enjoyed having DD home from school - she needed a break from the relentless bitchery of teenage girls! Her school was pretty good at online teaching, so I'm not feeling that she is behind.
Mostly atm I just fear that this will never end - our lives have become a treadmill of just getting by rather than really living.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba

do people even want to hear that I personally was barely effected and absolutely loved not having to do school runs, for example?

I presume not

Yes! Even though I haven't worked since 2020, I haven't been bored.

As an introvert I admit I liked lockdown a bit too much. I feel like the modern world is really biased in favour of extroverts and their needs, but restrictions meant that was all removed and it was bliss if I’m honest.

Lots of people with gardens were casually cruel about those of us who rely on outdoor public spaces. In particular, I won't forget a family member with an enormous garden sharing angry articles about people daring to sit down in parks.

It's the most minor thing possible, but DS's school only do a nativity play in Year 1. We're probably not having any more so I'll never get to see a child of mine in a nativity.

On the upside, I learnt how to knit and sew properly, did a ton of free courses online, successfully navigated homeschooling and mastered making naans from scratch

My mental health has been fine, I'm lucky, I'm quite happy with my own company. Of course, I missed my friends and family, but we kept in touch. DD has worked from home throughout so I had few worries there.

My physical health is altogether another a matter. It may all be coincidental, but my breathing had been impacted, I have copd, to the point where I now have a stairlift, a walker, a shower seat, and I'll soon get a mobility scooter.

Covid has probably taken at least a quarter of the remaining years I have. But at least in still here, as are all my family and friends. So I count myself lucky.

Awful.
Furloughed for most of the last 12 months. My mental health crashed. As did my teens. I would say it's been the worst 12 months of my life so far.

I found it really, really hard. I haven't really talked to anyone about it. I'm in Italy in a flat with 3 children. In the first lockdown we weren't even allowed out to exercise. Police were stopping people who were out on our road. I started waking up in the night with panic attacks, gasping for breath- still am but not as often. I don't know if I will ever feel normal again tbh.

On the whole found it a really positive experience. DH and I have got on the best we ever have. He did 90% of the child care as I'm NHS. The long hot summer last year was brilliant and my eldest kid (5) told everyone, totally unprompted, how much he'd enjoyed spending so much time with mummy and daddy. I enjoyed the lack of socialisingq (which I was really surprised by) and feel I became a better parent, as I didn't have the fall back of school/ nursery/ soft play. Our diet improved as we had to meal plan and initially couldn't have takeaways (shame that didn't last!).

Overall a really positive and liberating experience. Helped considerably by us both continuing to work and get the same income and having a lovely house and good sized garden. I appreciate how fortunate we are.

It's been a rather strange experience. In March last year before things were too bad I went overseas to take up a new job. Where I was due to work closed a week or so after I arrived which meant apart from money owed I had no income. Luckily part of that money kept me going until I managed to leave in August.
In the country I was in everything closed apart from supermarkets and small grocery shops and there were evening curfews in place. Luckily the rent and bills on my flat were paid for but there was no Internet, no TV...nothing. I used to beg to go into the office as it was the only place with Internet.
It was quite a lonely 6 months as the only other English people were the people I was supposed to be managing. On the plus side, there were plenty of toilet rolls

Being over worked to fuck.

So jealous of my sister on furlough

Complicated.

I went through a miscarriage just as covid was kicking off in the UK. There was no care available and no opportunity to visit a hospital EPAU so I had a long and fairly traumatic am-I-aren't-I until my scheduled 12 week scan, where I walked in to the sonographer's office to find two midwives practically in hazmat suits and had to say "I don't think you'll find anything in there", to save them trying to break the news to me. It was hell and I don't think I'll forget it as long as I live.

My marriage... the less said the better.

Friendship wise it sorted the wheat from the chaff big time, and that hurt.

And this week I have missed saying goodbye to my grandmother and attending her funeral (abroad, with a compulsory quarantine).

More positively, my 3.5 yo is now fully bilingual in English and DH's language, and reading in both - clearly an effect of lots more time with parents.

And I ended up (frankly to try and distract me from the MC) in charge of a very large community response initiative which has turned into a fulfilling job for me and which does an enormous amount of good for hundreds of people. So I feel that overall something good has come out of it for me and perhaps for those I work with.

I had my 1st baby at the start of the 1st lockdown. I had awful PNA and still get very teary when I think about the entire period. Its been terrible really.

It's been OK for me. I'm a sahm, and my routines were disrupted as I used to take DD to toddler classes every day. But we just switched to doing long walks instead. Had lots of interesting places to visit as we're in London, and made play areas out of all the local garden squares, riverside walks etc. I was never very anxious about the virus as I read lots of research papers detailing the demographic breakdown - I was never at high risk with my age/sex etc. Stuck to all the rules but got out and back to activities as soon as it was allowed, including putting DD into nursery and using toddler classes when they were permitted through the second lockdown. Third lockdown was hardest due to the weather, but I resolutely went out every day in the rain and snow to get us out of the house.

Kept DD in nursery 3 days since she started in June last year, so she's only had about 3 months with no social interaction at all (in the first lockdown) and she was under 2 then, so she didn't need it as much. I've prioritised keeping things as normal as possible for her, making sure she's been able to get out and do activities and see people as much as it's been permitted - she's had holidays, gone to theme parks, we have a zoo pass, went to soft play etc. So not bored or trapped at home, and I think it shows with her development and confidence.

Emotionally I've been fine, I have a history of MH issues but in a way that has made me more resilient, as I've never depended on others emotionally so I've been fine not seeing friends/family.

I had a baby. Wasn’t allowed my husband for any part except active labour, and he had to leave right after. No visitors for the three days I was in hospital, so had to do everything myself with a c-section. That was hard.

Broke the rules to have both my parents and my husband’s parents visit my baby. Don’t feel guilty about it.

My relationship went from strength to strength. My husband is the best person in the world. I saw so many people struggle with being cooped up 24/7 and we just had a bloody great time together and really relished how much time we got together.

I missed my siblings to the point it made me sick. Didn’t see my nephew for a year, which devastated me. One sibling has never met my baby.

My working pattern has changed permanently for the better - I can now work totally flexibly, saving myself 2-3 hours of commuting per day.

I gained a lot of weight from the baby and having nothing to do but eat. It’s coming off slowly...

I found a lot of beautiful new walks near me.

I missed my friends.

Amazing followed by not much different.
. I actually thought I’d caused the first lockdown as I’d been asking for a miracle to stop work for weeks before.
Was a bit worried by empty shelves but they were back within a week.

After first lockdown life went back to normal for me really. Back to work, seeing people there everyday, drinking wine with the husband at the weekend.

I forgot to add and was prompted by PP - my labour ended up in emergency csection because both myself and my son had sepsis. My husband wasnt allowed to stay afterwards or visit during my 6 day stay. So I had to care for my septic baby whilst having sepsis myself and recovering from a csection. Thats where the PNA started I think.

The Pandemic is the best thing that could have happened to us personally - more family time and more WFH.

I would undo it all in a heartbeat if it meant it had never happened.

I treated the initial lockdown as a bit of a holiday and enjoyed eating and drinking to excess and it was all a bit of a novelty. Then it became really boring, so I decided to change my life. I was able to use the time at home to apply for new jobs, and I have recently started my brand new dream job and am loving it. I also started to get fit, lose weight and give up drinking. I think it was all a bit of a reset button for me and I was able to make these significant changes that have made me loads happier. I have been very fortunate in this awful situation.

Overall it’s not been too bad. The first lockdown I had Covid and spent 6 weeks feeling various shades of yuck. DH and DC also varying levels of ill.
We did a lot of walking. I communicate with friends online a lot, that didn’t change. DH had always worked from home and had a decent office set up.
My brexit cupboard was very useful when shops went a bit mad.
Lockdown this year I worked a lot more, both teaching online and in school. My children were still in preschool which didn’t shut, and DD had 3 days a week in school on the days I worked as I’m a key worker.
I did a lot of socialising with our immediate neighbours- cups of tea and a chat. With them and my team at work I didn’t feel the lack of a social life.
My parents are local and our childcare bubble, so they had contact with the kids (mainly walking them home) and with me when we met for walks outside.

@Sometimesonly @Mogloveseggs and everyone else - really sorry to hear

I remember being incredibly frustrated about not being able to help all the 2 working parent families who weren't keyworkers and struggled with childcare.
I could've easily looked after friends' kids but that was one of the things we weren't allowed to do of course!

@Sometimesonly

I found it really, really hard. I haven't really talked to anyone about it. I'm in Italy in a flat with 3 children. In the first lockdown we weren't even allowed out to exercise. Police were stopping people who were out on our road. I started waking up in the night with panic attacks, gasping for breath- still am but not as often. I don't know if I will ever feel normal again tbh.

That sounds horrific honestly. Flats have got to be one of the toughest places to live with restrictions on going out/ meeting people. You through it though. You managed. Take strength from that.

NHS ICU Covid Red Zone ; highly disturbing and I wouldn’t want to do it again. Lost two close friends and colleagues and altho I don’t have nightmares, people I served with do. Lost a lot of weight and the skin on my face is only just recovering. I’ve kept a detailed diary and taken some pics, where appropriate. One day I’ll put it all together and get it bound and printed, but not at the moment.