What has your 'Pandemic experience' been like?

[steakandcheeseplease]

After catching up with some friends I'd not seen for ages it was interesting to hear the different experiences they had. From being in the first strictest lockdown and giving birth to totally locking themselves away to it not really having any impact. No one hardly seen my friend baby till it was a year old

My experience.

My school was one of the first to close. Was on the news. That was scary and I was frightened.

The shops scared me, it was apocalyptic. A woman shouted at me outside Asda because I had my children with me ( no one else to have them)

Im very lucky I live semi rurally so was never trapped in the house, we went out as much as we could. No one could see us. I even did open water swimming in the lake near us and paddle boarded.

I visited my DGM nearly daily. She was 88 and living by herself. I'd sit at the end of the path with a flask of tea and id see how she was or bring shopping. I could see her legs were getting weaker as she couldn't leave the house. She gave me a hug once as I was crying about something.

My marriage ended due to us having issues and being holed up together escalated it.

I realised how bad my anxiety had got when I started retching for no reason

My kids ruined my house.

I stopped outside high rise flats in my car and seen a toddler up in the last flat (about 8 floors up) on a tiny tricycle on a tiny balcony just still looking through the gaps. That was a defining moment for me.

School work went out the window. But my kids were eventually allowed back in school as I'm a key worker.

I met up with several good friends and had socially distanced walks where no one could see us when one of us were really struggling.

I'm shocked at how many of my friends have had or still have mental health issues due to this period of time.

I feel like I've checked out of covid now, I'm more worried about the wave of debt and financial crisis that will come from this.

What was your experience like?

Lockdown 1 was fantastic, like a holiday! We are a busy family and never together so when we all had to be home, and that amazing weather...we thought we was abroad!

2nd lockdown I can’t remember at all but obvious wasn’t too bad.

3rd lockdown. Lost it completely. Down a dark hole, mental health at its poorest, the world felt so so small to me. Hated every single second. It broke me in so many ways, it felt like torture.

I won’t be doing a 4th!

Single. Stuck in a flat with no outdoor space. My mental health is shot, and I have never felt as alone. It'll take time to work my way back to the fulfilling life I used to have.

I think the hardest thing for me was that first Monday after The briefing where we were told stay at home people will die etc.
I had to get up and go to work (care home admin) and I remember feeling really scared and angry that the dice had fallen that way for me.
I also realised I had to suck it up as I wasn’t the only one doing the drive of fear.
I got Covid in April as we were told admin didn’t need to wear masks initially as they didn’t have a lot.
We were with a coughing resident in the lounge who sadly later passed away who had bought it into the home from hospital.
My DD’s had to homeschool alone as my DD 10 was isolating due to asthma so couldn’t go in on the key worker ticket and my work would not allow me to WFH or furlough.
My eldest DD14 made lunch and looked after her until I was home at 2. This was stressful as time went on and I nearly gave up my job. DH took time off from his job but also had to work.
For the second lockdown my DH stopped work as the DD’s mental health was shot from being alone so much.
I was fucked off with all the “look at us having lovely family time in the sun doing wholesome things” Facebook posts. I appreciate this was unfair everyone had different situations.
I got Covid again in October and we all had to isolate it was a lovely rest as I was allowed to work from home and felt fine so we all chilled and did sweet FA (well some work).

Lockdown 1 was ‘fun’ for the first few weeks. It was a nice change of routine. My DH was home (usually works long hours in the city) but as weeks turned into months, it was horrific. I feel grateful that DC1 had not yet started school but I also had DC2 aged 6 months and the lack of support from family and friends, the feelings of isolation, of exhaustion, I’ll never forget.

I remember walking down our street early on with my children and an elderly couple a long way ahead of us stopped and froze in terror. I crossed the road.

I started a new job in the nhs in early March 2020. Being in the first patient to arrive on our ward with confirmed Covid’s room was utterly terrifying. Every time they coughed I silently said a prayer.

The positives:

My DH was able to see a lot of our DC2 ‘firsts’ like sitting up, walking etc. He missed so much with our first.

We have a garden. It was nice weather (at least the first lockdown was)

I got into my dream course at university.

The third lockdown was awful. Much worse than the others.

Worked throughout, as did my husband, not from home. Never worked from home, stunned by reports of other workers quarantining files etc, none of that at my workplace. Children at school with key workers places. Strained mental health due to gyms closing. Jogged every day instead.
Defining moment - walking down a busy main road , that was deserted , no cars, reminded me of Vanilla Sky. That was 25th March 2020.

My husband got to spend more time at home- he works full time but his work hours cut from 11 to 2- he gets paid to do 11 hours but only needs to do 2. He's much less stressed and can continue to WFH if he wants to.
My illnesses and conditions have improved slightly so I've been able to pick up old hobbies-yoga, walking, reading, sewing.
I've become an Aunty for the 17th, 18th and nearly 19th time.
I've got involved in charity and protest related things which have kept me very busy.

I worked throughout. Apart from my shifts changing to 2.00am instead of 9.00 am, Life carried on the same. My eldest works in a bank so he had same routine and my youngest was being home schooled anyway. As a single widowed parent l muddled through best I could. I never felt scared or anxious, l think the fact l was very busy either at work, or at home helped. I am comfortable with my own company, and enjoyed working on my flower garden during the summer months. You can create something beautiful during difficult times, l learnt that after my husband died suddenly eight years ago. Now my workplace is almost back to normal and life goes on. I never spend anytime dwelling over the situation, l think also the fact l don't watch tv at all, or pay little attention to news helps. I just focus on my everyday tasks.

Burnout from working full time from home while caring for a 2 year old for 4 months until her nursery reopened. Ended up signed off work for 6 weeks in September with anxiety and panic attacks and been on anti depressants ever since. Have lost touch with a lot of my friends and just feel flat these days.

Anyway. Batshit doesn’t actually begin to cover the last year but here’s a few stand out moments for me personally

My shock That this became the most divisive issue I’ve ever known , completely eclipsing brexit and any political election.

The utter selfish cunts practically ransacking the supermarkets at the start

watching thousands of pounds of income disappear at an alarming rate. while wondering if we’d still have jobs and be able to keep the house we’ve worked our arses off for for years to buy. Every last one of my business clients dropping me like a hot potato at the start. (They all came crawling back when they wised up to the fact it wasn't actually the apocalypse 🙄) DH being furloughed from March - September and his work were total cunts. He was on approx half pay as what some people don't realise is that you get 80% of £30,000 pa. Not great when you're on £50k pa plus bonuses. His work would also never give him a straight answer as to whether he still had a job or not. He's in the building trade and all the predictions were that that industry was in danger. He's just accepted a new job now as he has never really forgiven them how he was treated on furlough.

“Friends” dumping me, one Cos I dared voice out loud that I wasn’t personally scared of corona and I was fed up of all the rules . Another because I don't agree with masks. I only found that reason out through a mutual friend as said friend simply blocked and ghosted me (after 10 years of being my “best friend”)

Having to deal with the fact that many of my (remaining) friends have views I completely don’t agree with and accepting they probably feel same about me.

Finding a wonderful strong group of like minded women on Mumsnet who have kept me (somewhat) sane and we’ve set up a splinter group for support, venting and friendship. Oh Hello A.D.‘s I LOVE YOU 😍

Being incredibly grateful that my parents have been sane and rational about it all and we have seen eachother throughout regularly (QUICK!!! CALL THE COPS!!)

Having my business trashed all over social media and being called a dirty bitch and worse by local people. The “reason” was they took exception to me saying on a local page I don’t believe in masking kids in school. They even tracked my 14 yr old down on fb and insulted him. This was actual grown adults. Also, on another occasion, a random inboxed me and threatened to beat me up because she thinks I’m “endangering lives” by working. Erm a) it was, and is, allowed. And b) got no choice in that, excuse me for having a mortgage and bills and kids 🤣😞

Being put on medication for panic attacks and anxiety and for much of it, Thinking it’s a good day if I wake up and feel okay and not wish I hadn’t woke up

Watching my 3 Kids completely fall apart due to schools being closed and whole lives turned upside down. While not only having to deal with seeing posts all over fb about how well other kids doing and coping doing all their work and managing great. And also knowing some people I care about actually wanted schools shut 😭

Anyway I’m so over this total shit show now, (tbh I was over it in March 2020.) and if it wasn’t for my kids and family I don’t think I’d be here now tbh.

I do not know where the random "anyway" came from at the beginning of my last post ! Makes no sense, bloody rubbish old iPad

Varied. Income wise I had to stop work as DS has SN but not entitled to any schooling but needs 1 to 1 and not entitled to any help. But then sold old house quicker than expected, went through in 3 months and had money again. DH wfh throughout and more work than normal, been lovely having him home and very happy together.

Its been tough on kids, 1 in y10 and complete shambles with GCSEs, on off schooling no mental health support, ever increasing demands and its broken her and she is now off with anxiety but home schooling you can't get qualifications at the moment without industrial quantities of money. Ds I kept up academically but socially lockdown was dire for him and in lockdown 3 he went mute. We are finally getting help hopefully after 3 years of fighting for it but its a shame he had to be completely broken before anyone helped. Dd has had some successes in maths comps which kind volunteers continued.

2020 holiday had to be cancelled and fun and games getting money back but got all but 600 back in end and had lovely holiday in Devon. Dh is gutted he still can't see his family and friends in France even though he and they are double vaccinated especially 88 year old Mum. Pets have loved it and lovely having them. Got a lovely UK holiday booked for summer and done lots of work on old and current house but hope things will get back to normal especially for kids.

Hated the first lockdown. Stuck in small mid-terrace house with autistic 3-year-old and an 8-year-old. Tiny garden, very small living space downstairs, very conscious of the thin walls and our neighbours. I was also working long evenings and weekends throughout, no masks or PPE and mixing in a small space with other staff so never really feared or felt bothered about getting covid.

I’ve found the rest of lockdown absolutely fine when the kids are attending school but awful when they’re closed.

My house is incredibly messy now. I think it's reached a tipping point of no return, until the kids go to Uni anyway.

Absolutely hated it. Run a business which basically was almost shut for months and only getting going properly again now.
Homeschool was rubbish. Very young boys who can barely do anything independently. Luckily they get on with each other ok. I was really really worried about their social development being held back, couldn’t give a toss about the academics.
Really struggled with lack of social contact especially as I don’t have many close friends I could call/zoom only acquaintances.

Financially a disaster because I only benefitted from a tiny grant via the self employed scheme and dh got made redundant (not got a new job yet).

Worried abort my parents with my dad shielding and CV and my mum’s mh suffering with worrying about my dad.

Only good thing is we all managed to get out running/cycling/walking more than usual. And we’ve discovered some lovely local routes/ footpaths which I never know existed.

@grapewine

Single. Stuck in a flat with no outdoor space. My mental health is shot, and I have never felt as alone. It'll take time to work my way back to the fulfilling life I used to have.

I’m sorry. I have a friend in a similar situation and it must have been SOOO hard. I was thoroughly fed up of my dh and dcs but at the end of the day was eternally grateful for their company.

The timing of the first lockdown couldn't of been better for me. I had just returned to work after maternity leave and I was missing my little boy like mad. I am so so so beyond grateful that I got continue to work and make a living while having my little boy and husband (furloughed) at home everyday.
We had lovely weather the first lockdown too so going walks everyday was lovely and I actually really enjoyed the simple life.
Surprisingly, I wasn't all too scared about the impact of covid. Stupidly probably and thankful that no one I know was affected by it.
It tested my marriage, as it did everyone's. Glad we have survived through it. My husband is now back working full-time and doing overtime and I miss him like mad.

I guess the whole experience has just made me thankful.
Thankful for my health, thankful for the time I have had with my family and thankful for the simple things in life. I will never take for granted the luxuries in life.

The downstairs of our house is looking very untidy now. Last night DH was very proud of himself that he put all the bits of paper DS and his rabbit had distributed over the living room in a bag. Unfortunately he left the bag in there and this morning he discovered rabbit had redistributed all the paper from the bag all over the living room so its back to the same.

For us it was the lockdowns that have been truly awful. The actual virus we think we all in December 2019 and since have been in contact with people who have had the virus and had to isolate but never got anything further.
The first lockdown we ended up losing all our jobs over night. 4 adults went from earning to benefits within 24 hours..

We have had to be very resourceful in finding new jobs as things like fruit picking, shelf stacking and delivery jobs we didn’t get.

Mine was varied too
March 2020 catching covid in the first wave from school and being really ill, passing it to clinically vunrable husband but luckily both of us came through despite him being taken to hospital once , checked and released.
Both of us having long covid in the first wave but helping each other with the help of mums net covid threads. Realising how much school has dominated my life and having a rethink of how it could be better.
Spending time with just my husband and finding out how much we still love each other and enjoy each others company with no interuptions. Feeling old from long covid and annoyed I could not do what I could do before
Worries about my mum catching covid and all of my family. Not seeing my granddaughter in the first wave for weeks other than face time.
Trying to educate my class online in both the first and second lockdowns via the internet and teams. The wonderful reponse from class' parents who had there own jobs to juggle.The niggly response from parents to the slightest perceived wrong worksheet , video etc from just a few. The interaction with children in the classroom that I missed so much. The relentless online marking and setting of lessons The feedback which normally takes few seconds in the classroom became a typed conversation. Trying to juggling my class needs online with providing key worker care.
The birth of of my grandson in the 2nd lockdown in Jan but also the worries associated with the pregnacy as my daughter in law was working full time in a school before the birth. How close as family we have become again. We value every minute we spend together. We do the touching base phone calls etc more often.
The realisation that there is more to life than just working and that I can't fix or control everything. The realisation that I need to look after myself more.

Shit

I nearly lost my sanity working from home with DH also doing the same and two DC home schooling with pretty poor provision.

I lost both my parents to Covid earlier this year and have spent more time in Covid wards that one ever should have to. I got past any anxiety around being exposed to it though - both through caring for them at home and visiting in hospital. And since then I’ve been dealing with both the emotional impact of losing two parents in their sixties and all the practical shit.

My MiL was diagnosed with cancer during lockdown. This week we’ve finally managed to travel 500 miles to see her for the first time in two years so say goodbye as it has spread to her brain.

And adding on top losing many of my coping mechanisms - especially time on my own and seeing friends, numerous periods of self isolation for myself and the DC (one DC has had 4 x 10 days isolation since September due to cases in his class) and I’m surprised I’m still standing.

I was ill with pneumonia 3 times in the months preceeding the pandemic so at the beginning it felt like I'd been in it longer than anyone else. The last time I was in a and e news of covid had just started and I remember being amused when I coughed and people were a bit shifty.

I didn't get to go in to work between sick leave and the lockdown starting. I facetimed my mum dad and sister crying because ds (about 20 months at the time) wouldn't see them for 3 weeks. "It's only 3 weeks".

Dh is a teacher and we tag teamed work - if he had a lesson I had ds, if not or if I had an important meeting he did. I don't actually know how we did it, I think it was because we knew we only had to keep going until the summer break.

When we got back from the shops it was straight into the shower and clothes in the wash. We discovered bits of our very local area we didn't know and stuck to our 1 walk a day.

When things eased it felt really naughty driving somewhere and we eased to the letter. 8 am the most clinically risky in our family due to asthma but my sister and dad seemed to think I was being ott.

Then over the summer we had a little staycation plus one with family for my mums 60th which was wonderful. Ds went back to nursery.

I don't really count the 2nd lockdown as one but did see it coming. First ever Xmas at home which was chilled.

The third lockdown has hit me hardest, nd we've been the most flexible with the guidance in it. I did go and sit in my mums conservatory before you were allowed inside because I was stressed and run down and needed my mum and a cup of tea. We didnt go back to showering straight from shop. We bubbled with a friend down the road with a baby and toddler which was wonderful.

I hate working from home and miss my team, I also miss visiting clients.

Over all, it wasn't the worst. We are lucky to have kept jobs, not had to worry about food etc and have touch wood avoided covid. Dh and I are as strong as ever and ds was a good age for it going over his head. I still have moments where I feel like we (as in society) are in a Sci fi film!

Frazzled2207 Thank you. I appreciate it. It sounds like it has been tough for you as well. Hope your financial situation improves.

I sympathise with worrying about parents. It's just another layer.

Crap. Full time single parenting in a flat with no outdoor space working full time and trying to parent/homeschool at the same time. Lonely as no other adult company and ex used pandemic to see her even less (if that were possible).

Gran died of covid after barely any one being able to see her for the previous year. What a sad lonely awful way to go. Not what she deserved.

@Lovelydovey

Shit

I nearly lost my sanity working from home with DH also doing the same and two DC home schooling with pretty poor provision.

I lost both my parents to Covid earlier this year and have spent more time in Covid wards that one ever should have to. I got past any anxiety around being exposed to it though - both through caring for them at home and visiting in hospital. And since then I’ve been dealing with both the emotional impact of losing two parents in their sixties and all the practical shit.

My MiL was diagnosed with cancer during lockdown. This week we’ve finally managed to travel 500 miles to see her for the first time in two years so say goodbye as it has spread to her brain.

And adding on top losing many of my coping mechanisms - especially time on my own and seeing friends, numerous periods of self isolation for myself and the DC (one DC has had 4 x 10 days isolation since September due to cases in his class) and I’m surprised I’m still standing.

I'm so very sorry. That sounds just awful. I don't know what to say other than I feel bad about moaning now. Sending you strength.

Hugs to everyone who needs them after writing all of this down. I would love to share these with the Cabinet - I don’t think they have any idea what people have been through.