Can I still claim child maintenance if he refuses to go on birth certificate?

[Laurajohnson1981]

I am due to give birth to my baby boy in 7 weeks. My boyfriend left me as soon as he found out I was pregnant and refuses to acknowledge that there is a baby. He hasn’t been to any scans or had any involvement and says he won’t be named on the birth certificate. I do not think he should just get away with paying nothing. Will I still be able to claim child maintenance from him if he is not on the birth certificate? I’ve read somewhere that if his name is not on there he has no legal obligations. Surely this can’t be fair if he is just refusing.

Well, I went down this route too. We have a 3 year old boy, daddy wasn't interested in him from the very beginning, so is not in birth certificate.
I applied for child maintenance through CMS a month ago. Ex got livid, tried everything to stop it. I've given all details they asked for, apart from his NIN. I know they contacted him 3 days later, he got a panic attack and redirected all mail to his mommy. Silence since then. I called CMS a week ago and asked, what's next as I want to know what to prepare myself for (we have a 2 week holiday ahead of us). They just told me, if it takes longer it's a good sign, as there is probably more documents to go through (and the final amount should be bigger). They didn't even tell me if he wants DNA tests or not. I'm getting more and more anxious with every day, as our holiday is approaching and what if we will have to cancel and stay in UK?
Can someone calm me down and explain how it went for them, time wise...

Why would you have to stay in the UK? Just let CMS know you’ll be on holiday and to email any developments.

OP I’m so happy how your story turned out. Thankyou for the update.

Yes I do it's very straightforward, put in a claim and they will go ahead and process it, if he claims he isn't the father child support will expect him to do a dna to prove it

I have read about dad's not wanting to pay maintainance. My son broke up with his partner and later on she phoned to say she was pregnant he said he didn't want the pregnancy to go ahead as relationship had broken down but as its her decision she chose to go ahead. My sons name wasn't on the certificate and he doesn't want any involvement or responsibility towards the child. Now she is chasing for maintainance , this really isn't fair as he never wanted pregnancy in that situation. Why should he pay for something he clearly stated he didn't want. I feel he has been used.

Oh god another one 🤦‍♀️

Did he wear a condom? If a man feels so strongly about not having children that he will abandon a pregnant woman and refuse to pay towards his child’s care then it’s his responsibility to prevent the pregnancy not just hers.

I have always wondered if my sons ‘dads’ parents know about him because I thought that surely no woman would allow her son to do this or not want to see her grandchild herself but now I’ve read this I realise women like you actually do exist so maybe she does. I guess it explains a lot about how he turned out.

Jesus wept. Have a word with yourself.

You should be ashamed of yourself for bringing up a son who thinks this way. There is a CHILD involved- your grandchild in fact- who, unlike your son had no say in the matter.

What a shocking excuse for a woman you are.

@Fudgecase Did he wear a condom? If a man feels so strongly about not having children that he will abandon a pregnant woman and refuse to pay towards his child’s care then it’s his responsibility to prevent the pregnancy not just hers.

I have always wondered if my sons ‘dads’ parents know about him because I thought that surely no woman would allow her son to do this or not want to see her grandchild herself but now I’ve read this I realise women like you actually do exist so maybe she does. I guess it explains a lot about how he turned out.

If his feelings about having a child were that strong then he shouldn’t have fucked her. End of.

Another mother who is enabling their son’s poor behaviour. I take it you didn’t give him the birds and bees chat when he was younger. As others have said this is your grandchild and an innocent human life. I hope the poor excuse for a man does the mature and moral thing by supporting his child. If not I hope she gets every penny from him, next time he might suggest wearing a condom.

Did your lovely son do anything to prevent the pregnancy? If I was you I'd be ashamed.

Why should he pay for something he clearly stated he didn't want.
Because the ‘something he didn’t want’ is a living human child. He’s already messing up their life in part by ignoring their existence. He has to take some responsibility for the result having sex.

@Fudgecase I think you chose the wrong thread to come on for sympathy for your poor son. I’m genuinely shocked that a Mother could support this behaviour and as I said above it’s really opened my eyes to my own situation as I always thought if his Mum knew then things would be different. But perhaps if she’s managed to raise a monster like you have then her attitude towards her living breathing grandson is probably as disgusting as yours.

How bizarre. In your shoes I would feel utterly ashamed that my grown up son was denying responsibility for his own flesh and blood, particularly when he could very easily have avoided any possibility of an unwanted pregnancy with just the smallest iota of effort.

My ds is only just 17. I don’t think he is sexually actively yet, but he has been provided with condoms and told to use them every time as it’s his responsibility to ensure that there are no unwanted babies. If he doesn’t manage to do that then he is fully aware that he will be expected to step up and support and parent the child. He would not get away with blaming the female in this situation because he has the tools at his disposal to ensure that a pregnancy is avoided. As do all men if they could be bothered to use them.

You’re an utter disgrace and it’s no wonder your disgusting son has turned out the way he has. Only the lowest of the low abandon their own children.

Laurajohnson1981 Hi..
I’m in the same situation father not on the birth certificate, how long the process takes?
Did he opened a court order to take his rights?
Thank you for any advice.

Having read your posts I completely understand why your son turned out to be the kind of man to desert his child. I pity any woman or children who end up in your family.

Don't let this deter you OP. You could get £200 per month. It's worth the claim for your child, you never know if you may need it, it could be a big help. Also people's earnings increase over the years.

Claim away.

@CrisA95 Hi, through CMS it took about a month to all process and for them to confirm how much he has to pay. No he didn’t take any action. The only action a father can take when CMS contact them is to provide a DNA test proving the child isn’t his which of course he couldn’t do. If he doesn’t pay one month then CMS get in contact and chase for it and if necessary they take it to court.

Laurajohnson1981 thank you!
God bless you, your baby&family🤗

Now she is chasing for maintainance , this really isn't fair as he never wanted pregnancy in that situation. Why should he pay for something he clearly stated he didn't want. I feel he has been used

^

😭😭🤣🤣🤣

Cry me a river

So your son has just abandoned his child? Your grandchild? Surely if he didn’t want a kid he’d have used a condom? Your son has behaved really, really, badly. Imagine denying your own child.

The baby became your ds’s responsibility at the point he had sex without ensuring he was using effective contraception.
Lets hope your ds has learned that having sex is ultimately for procreation.