Am I being a holiday snob?

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Looking to book a cottage/apartmenr (uk) for a weeks break at some point over the summer. There are, thankfully; still places to choose from. We have two DC 7 and 10.

Dh keeps sending me links to places that just dont look comfortable at all. He is a fan of a particular holiday let website that only ever seems to upload one or two pics of each place, and 100% of the properties on there look like they've not had so much as a lick of paint or a new mattress since the 1940s.

I honestly am not a snob. But I feel like I'm being made out to be one when it comes to these places.

They are all off the beaten track, no beaches near or attractions to visit near.

They (in the main) do cost less than going to more touristy areas but what's the point in saving 100/200 if there is literally nothing to do?

2019 he chose somewhere off this site that was similar to all the other ones - shabby and v v old, location was truly awful, I did the whole "it will be what we make of it" and we both found the trip so crap that we did the same (one) attraction with the kids twice in one week, and left a day early. It was so disappointing.

I just think the ages they are I would like

1. To see more of the place I'm staying, not 1/2 pics
2. To have days out available (kids at an age where they are ready to do a theme park, or failing that good beaches)
3. I'd like the place to look and feel comfortable. We spend evenings in the property as our kids crash out by 8pm. I want it to be at least as comfy as sitting on my sofa at home!

Surely it has to be the best thing for the kids? I love a stately home, preferably with a lake you’re allowed to look in/fish with crappy pound shop nets, play area, decent café with cream teas on offer. Then a proper exciting day-Go Ape if the kids are old enough, a speedboat on a lake etc. Go to somewhere like Northumberland, then you all get the best of everything, interesting cities, rivers, forests etc, loads to do.

We have been together for 18 years. Pre kids (years 0-8), we had a couple of abroad beach hols, and lots of city breaks.

Once the kids came along, our income took a nosedive so we basically picked "cheap" and got lucky if the place was nice.

For the last few years we have had more disposable income and, thus, more flexibility. Similarly, when the DC were 0-4yo all we wanted was a beach, a play park and maybe a soft play in case the weather turned.

Now, the DC are older and need more stuff to do. Tie that in with a dh who, as he has aged, has become more tree hugger/pack the ordinance survey map and a square of Kendal Mint Cake, and the holidays are becoming increasingly difficult.

Go to somewhere like Northumberland, then you all get the best of everything, interesting cities, rivers, forests etc, loads to do

This exact location is about 20 mins from our front door.

@Cherrysoup

Surely it has to be the best thing for the kids? I love a stately home, preferably with a lake you’re allowed to look in/fish with crappy pound shop nets, play area, decent café with cream teas on offer. Then a proper exciting day-Go Ape if the kids are old enough, a speedboat on a lake etc. Go to somewhere like Northumberland, then you all get the best of everything, interesting cities, rivers, forests etc, loads to do.

I would query your assertion that 'surely it has to be the best thing for the kids'. Ideally there is something to make everyone happy some of the time and equally unhappy some of the time too 😁. And on balance, the parents who work, who run a house, who have a wide set of responsibilities edge it in terms of having their needs met.

Had a look. Accommodation prices are relatively cheap. Actually the first place I searched and found looked quite nice but it was booked out solidly from mid June till October! So if you are quite picky you probably need to book well ahead on this site to get something you would like.

Otherwise try more expensive websites or companies where things dont get snapped up so quickly because they are more expensive and you may find something you like but for a lot more money. We paid about £1.5k for a week in a cottage in Devon in August this year and that’s probably quite average in price. Cottages on your DH’s chosen site are £600-£700 typically.

Edinburgh ( my home city) might be a good compromise. Should be some decent apartments left and you can have a nice compromise between outdoors activities and others.

Personally I'd tell him he had his chance last year and book London as it's your only opportunity to do it when not busy - but that's just me.

I think we are slowly coming to a compromise.

Narrowed it down to:-

• Dorset coastline
• Aviemore
• East Sussex (relatively close to the coast)
• The area around Longleat (just need to find some nature!)

There's plenty of countryside around near Longleat. If you want to send your DH off on a long walk there's the Imber perimeter path, a 30 mile circular walk around some of the closed-off military firing ranges and an abandoned village from WW2. The Westbury white horse is nearby too.

Not a snob. I’ve had a few miserable holidays in rabbit hutches. Now I have a list of requirements and nothing gets booked without my approval.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

Can we know what the site is please?! Name and shame.
We had a rented house near Inverness in about 2006 and it was dog friendly. I remember the carpet in the living room had white dog hairs actually woven into the weave of said carpet. No shower, only bath with no shower attachment so hard to wash hair, and a pre-war Aga which I left to DH!

I'm really fussy when it comes to where I'll stay. DH would stay anywhere whereas I have certain criteria and like to research first. We once stayed over at a well known beach area at short notice and I felt like we were on the set of A League of Gentlemen or Inside Number 9. Nothing worse than old smelly sofas, stinky wooden spoons, greasy kitchen or psycho-esk staff 🤢

Norfolk coastline as well!

Kelling Heath - loads of attractions on site and around the area and beautiful walks from the door. In fact, they do guided walks for the super nature nerds 😁

You sound very tolerant so far! The break a holiday gives me is SO important and I’m usually so worn out by the time we go that last holiday we went on I cried because the lighting in the accommodation was bad

DH is like you, OP, in that he thinks day on holiday when we don't go on a day trip is a day wasted. I like a few trips, but when it involves packing the kids into a hot car and sitting in traffic jams for two hours or more I can definitely take it or leave it.

I got close to a solution the year we went to the Isle of Wight, because it's literally impossible to take a day trip that's more than around 30 minutes' drive away. But sadly there's only so much you can do there before you've tried everything.

That sounds crap. Booking.com is great for a variety of budgets and has great cancellation policies, plus normally at least 10+ photos. Agree you may struggle to find somewhere for summer holidays at this point - although I booked a lovely cottage in Wales for the first May bank holiday only 4-5 weeks before with no problem.

Air BnB for sure. Take a look and share with DH. See if you can tempt him over to your suggestions.

@Whatelsecouldibecalled

We are currently et ‘the bay’ in Filey. Ticks a lot of your criteria. Aria resorts is the owner site but loads of air B and B which is who we booked through

We own a caravan on Primrose Valley, Filey is lovely

Go with what you want. I am so tired of being called a snob or high maintenance or whatever comes out. Stand your ground. Be specific of what your minimum standard is and set your mind to that.

Always avoid cottages / villas with excessively close up shots of minor decorative features and/or bottles of wine but no decent full sized pics of the bathroom. DH seems drawn to such places like a magnet and they’re always hiding some grizzly horror of 90s decor.

It seems an arse over tit way to do it
Do you not pick the area and then look for accommodation rather than the other way around?

Have stayed on some lovely holiday cottages and some shitty ones over the years and have learned that shitty is always a false economy.

The last one we went to pre lockdown was chosen by DHs family for his mums 70th. The main limitation was less the price and more somewhere that would accommodate their vast number of dogs. The place we wound up at was quite pretty but had a leaking shower, erratic hot water and heating, a very odd layout with some 'bedrooms' that definitely were more like landings and a general down at heel air that was not especially luxury or celebratory.

@PrimeraVez

100% with you.

DH and I have a rule that anywhere we go on holiday has to be 'better' than where we live (which is a lovely holiday destination in itself) So either the property has to be really luxurious or the location has to be incredible with lots to do or something truly amazing to see.

Travelling with young kids is hard work as it is, there's no point paying to go somewhere to be miserable, uncomfortable or bored!

Hi please could you talk to my husband? He needs this information.

For me it either has to be luxe accommodation or so much to do nearby that you only use it for sleeping. In which case as long as it’s clean, safe and reasonably comfortable (has air con and enough beds etc.) I’m not fussed. No point spending money to be unhappy just stay home and do day trips instead.

I don’t think you are a snob at all, personally I want my holiday accommodation to be equal or better than our home, you work all year and want a holiday to be memorable for the right reasons.

I personally like Center Parcs or a caravan/lodge with Park Dean.

Have you considered bluestone near tenby. Lots of walks/beaches/ day trips/ theme park etc etc.

Best of both worlds for everyone.

Lovely walk to barafundle bay which is a beautiful beach.

Try Sawdays.

I actually would rather a caravan for a cheap hol than a dodgy cottage.
It all being clean and in good repair is super important to me. I hate if it there are dodgy stains or yucky bits in corners
I'd rather a scrupulously clean caravan (and I think they tend to be because they are small and easy to clean) than a bigger house where there are any doubts over soft furnishings harbouring dust etc.