Am I being a holiday snob?

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Looking to book a cottage/apartmenr (uk) for a weeks break at some point over the summer. There are, thankfully; still places to choose from. We have two DC 7 and 10.

Dh keeps sending me links to places that just dont look comfortable at all. He is a fan of a particular holiday let website that only ever seems to upload one or two pics of each place, and 100% of the properties on there look like they've not had so much as a lick of paint or a new mattress since the 1940s.

I honestly am not a snob. But I feel like I'm being made out to be one when it comes to these places.

They are all off the beaten track, no beaches near or attractions to visit near.

They (in the main) do cost less than going to more touristy areas but what's the point in saving 100/200 if there is literally nothing to do?

2019 he chose somewhere off this site that was similar to all the other ones - shabby and v v old, location was truly awful, I did the whole "it will be what we make of it" and we both found the trip so crap that we did the same (one) attraction with the kids twice in one week, and left a day early. It was so disappointing.

I just think the ages they are I would like

1. To see more of the place I'm staying, not 1/2 pics
2. To have days out available (kids at an age where they are ready to do a theme park, or failing that good beaches)
3. I'd like the place to look and feel comfortable. We spend evenings in the property as our kids crash out by 8pm. I want it to be at least as comfy as sitting on my sofa at home!

My in laws are like this and they wonder why I don’t want to go away with them. Last time we did in 2019 there was nothing around for a toddler and the accommodation was so tiny we were on top of each other the whole time. We left early.
It’s not a money thing for them either OP, I think some people either like to find a ‘bargain’ or are just too lazy to shop around online to se what is out there.

YANBU but is there much left for this summer? I like a video tour and photos of every room as a minimum. Maybe these are the places with availability?

I feel totally the same as you, DH and I have often had a discussion of what is the point in going somewhere else luxe than we have at home and spending hundreds to do so.
We live in a nice area we could spend a week doing different things locally and still be home to crash in our own beds and bathe in our own bathroom.
Anything you could do to make a staycation locally?

I really want to know which site he uses 😂

It sounds as if your DH is just crap at researching holidays. A lot of men are, sadly. But I don't think many would actually go back and use the same website again after the spectacular fail of a holiday last time.

Either do the research and choose something yourself, or tell DH very clearly that the previous holiday he booked was a disaster, if he doesn't up his game you're heading for another one, to stop looking at the shite website and find some better options.

FWIW I do all the holiday research in my house!

I think my stepdad took us camping to the place near the nuclear power plant in the 90s.

YANBU, @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz. I think you need to find two or three acceptable places yourself and present them as a choice.

Well, when do you want to go, and for how long? Let us help!
Some people really struggle with booking trips, but I love it!

Are there reviews for these places/this site? If so, it seems unlikely they’d be wholly positive based on what you’ve said. Maybe he’d be persuaded by others’ views?

What site is it??

I also want somewhere as nice if not nicer than our own home. We do lots of day trips and don't mind driving to see stuff.

Can't you book it instead? Surely you just decide on the location first and then look for somewhere to stay in the area?

That's the issue, you're doing it the wrong way round. Choose a location and then accommodation.

What site is he using?

YANBU. Holidays with children are hard enough work somewhere nice. If it's going to be less comfortable than home, with nothing to do, why would you pay to go there?

Agree with @MGMidget , good luck with finding something decent at this point for summer.

Just look for somewhere you would like, and that will be suitable for the kids, come up with a few options and then discuss with DH.

As a general rule unless there are some fabulous attractions on the doorstep, I will not stay somewhere worse than my own home.

No sharing bathrooms with My DC; no sitting rooms set up to seat 4; or a kitchen that looks like it was last updated in 1986.

If I’m on holiday it’s supposed to be a treat.

How about introducing a new system? No links to be shared in advance. Instead, you each have to find your three best suggestions. At 8pm tonight (or whenever works for you), you each ‘present’ your top three. The presentation must include: accommodation and how it will work for your family; journey times and any stop off opportunities; local attractions...

Surely if you find a few decent options and present them to him then it's on him to justify why his choices are better. Which presumably they won't be.

YANBU it's one thing staying in a rough and ready place but what the hell is the point of the holiday if there's nothing to do? I don't mind too much about where I'm staying as long as it's clean and safe but I definitely do need the location to be good.

Everything is so booked up for this summer though, I'm not surprised you're struggling to find what you want. What's your budget and which regions are you considering?

Why is he booking it if you are not happy with his choice, surely you will sort something out and then tell him where you are going.

I think you'd to better to either start with an area you want to visit, an activity you want to do or a maximum budget and go from there.

I'm taking a reluctant DH on a UK holiday this year, it really hasn't been easy but as we're in the guts of London I've gone for places with good beaches and driving distance to stuff our 3yo might enjoy.

Nothing wrong with being a holiday snob! I let my "snob" slip last year out of desperation to get away, did a caravan holiday at a well known holiday park for a few days. Never again! I mean it wasn't horrendous, but honestly given the choice I'd rather go away less frequently to nicer places. Quality over quantity for me.

Have you given him reasonable alternatives or just criticism of his ideas? Maybe present him with three or four options and let him have final say or do a family vote?

We always put location first. There's no point in being anywhere if there's fuck-all to do! DH likes value and is pretty impossible to convince that features like hot tubs are worthwhile, but in a hotel he'd pay for adjoining rooms as that's about getting a little quiet, child-free time at night. If we're not camping, we'll often do a static caravan as they're simpler and easier to judge than the vast range of cottages out there.

I thought from the title that it would be about dismissing Butlins/ Centre Parks/ Disney as being common, not crap "cottages" in crap locations.

I don't understand why he is such a fan of this one holiday let site when it appears to only have crap lets on it? Nor do I understand why you would even consider letting him book anywhere when he's clearly not thinking about anyone else's needs!

Take the job off him - find a decent place yourself that you're happy with and book it. Unless there's a really good reason why you can't.

I wouldn’t use ‘snob’ at all for this. It would be snobby (as I understand the word) to look down on those who can’t afford what you can, those whose tastes and expectations are what you consider ‘less’ than yours, and where you define yourself largely by a superiority about those things.
All you are doing is wanting the best you can afford, to do what you want, to prioritise what you want to do and to avoid what you both know hasn’t worked in the past.
Not snobby at all. Sensible.
Good luck !