Page 5 | My son seems to have a Mrs Robinson thing going on!

leprintemps · 28/05/2021 17:45

I was 19 when I met DH and he was 27. We've been together 37 years! A male school friend met his 28 year old future wife when he was 20, and that raised more eyebrows than my situation. He's been with her ever since and is very happy.

katy1213 · 28/05/2021 17:52

Mrs Robinson? At 26?

motogogo · 28/05/2021 17:57

We have an 8 year age gap, doesn't seem a lot once you are older. I would keep an open mind, it's unusual but ultimately he's an adult. I would think she would be more sensible at that age!

OhWhyNot · 28/05/2021 18:26

I wouldn’t be pleased

At different stages of your life even if you are a mature 18 year old

I would hope one of them gets bored very quickly

Original poster

JustMarriedAndLovingIt · 28/05/2021 19:11

@katy1213

Mrs Robinson? At 26?

You know it’s a joke?!! Older woman/younger man 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 28/05/2021 19:13

Yes op, I’m fairly sure your son and his girlfriend would absolutely see rhe humour in you face book stalking her, starting threads to millions of people about her, calling her mrs Robinson as a joke at her expense and asking if she’s going to trap him into babies,

I’m fairly sure rhe pair of them would be totally impressed with you.

Bluntness100 · 28/05/2021 19:15

Oh and mrs Robinsons character was at least mid forties, but don’t let that stop you in being horrid about your sons girlfriend.

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 28/05/2021 19:20

@JustMarriedAndLovingIt

Seriously, I met his girlfriend yesterday and she’s absolutely lovely but after a facebook stalk she’s at least 8 years older than him. He’s only 18 so not worldly btw. I’m pleased for both of them btw but just wonder what they both see in each other. Maybe they like the older/younger dynamic? My son is an only so has spent a lot of time with adults.

Would anyone be worried about him ending up tied down with babies very doing, eg before 23/24? Am I overthinking this?

Lastly, for anyone else with grown up sons, did it feel weird the first time you saw them larking about with someone you knew they really cared about? Like they’d finally grown up.

TIA.

This was the OP's first post. Doesn't seem like she's being particularly horrible? She's described the girlfriend as lovely and has merely expressed a concern about the age difference.

Looksabitbig · 28/05/2021 19:20

I think most of us would be concerned if we were the mother of the son in the situation.

Bluntness100 · 28/05/2021 19:24

This was the OP's first post. Doesn't seem like she's being particularly horrible? She's described the girlfriend as lovely and has merely expressed a concern about the age difference.

I’m sorry, maybe you didn’t have the time to read past rhe first paragraph. Where she explained she face book stalked her, called her mrs Robinson and rhen asked if she was going to trap her son into having babies?

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 28/05/2021 19:25

@Bluntness100

This was the OP's first post. Doesn't seem like she's being particularly horrible? She's described the girlfriend as lovely and has merely expressed a concern about the age difference.

I’m sorry, maybe you didn’t have the time to read past rhe first paragraph. Where she explained she face book stalked her, called her mrs Robinson and rhen asked if she was going to trap her son into having babies?

Lightheartedly calling her Mrs Robinson in reference to her being older? And looked her up on Facebook? Which I bet most people on here have done at some point?

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 28/05/2021 19:27

@Looksabitbig

I think most of us would be concerned if we were the mother of the son in the situation.

I agree. I would be concerned. Concerned doesn't mean opposing the relationship or being awful about the girlfriend, it's just odd frankly for a 26 yr old woman to date an 18 year old lad.

Bluntness100 · 28/05/2021 19:29

Lightheartedly calling her Mrs Robinson in reference to her being older? And looked her up on Facebook? Which I bet most people on here have done at some point?

No I’ve never treated my daughters partners like that. I’m guessing you do, but doesn’t mean it is ok or everyone does.

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 28/05/2021 19:30

@Bluntness100

Lightheartedly calling her Mrs Robinson in reference to her being older? And looked her up on Facebook? Which I bet most people on here have done at some point?

No I’ve never treated my daughters partners like that. I’m guessing you do, but doesn’t mean it is ok or everyone does.

You've never looked someone up on FB @Bluntness100 ?

If you say so...

IndiaMay · 28/05/2021 19:49

Almost the same age gap as my brother and his gf when they first started dating (but other way round). She was 18 and he 25, 2 years later 20 and 27 doesnt seem so weird. Not that we ever voiced that it was weird because just seeing them together you could tell they were a good couple but I'm sure other people had raised eyebrows

Bluntness100 · 28/05/2021 19:51

You've never looked someone up on FB @Bluntness100 ?

I never looked up my daughters partner, started a thread on them to a site with sixteen million people, made jokes at their expense and then asked if they’d be trapping her into babies.

No. Hope that clarifies.

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 28/05/2021 20:00

Oh come on @Bluntness100 it's an anonymous site, bit harsh maybe.

Agree about the trapping the son with babies thing but I get why the OP is concerned about the age difference and asking for thoughts on here for perspective is hardly that bad.

Bluntness100 · 28/05/2021 20:03

Strawberry I don’t disagree with you on asking for advice etc but I don’t think the op did it nicely, there’s a feeling of gossip about it, and I think if her son and his partner knew what she was doing and saying there would be a lot of hurt.

I’m no paragon of virtue, but I try really hard not to do anything to hurt my child, even if she doesn’t know I’m doing it,

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 28/05/2021 20:10

@Bluntness100

Strawberry I don’t disagree with you on asking for advice etc but I don’t think the op did it nicely, there’s a feeling of gossip about it, and I think if her son and his partner knew what she was doing and saying there would be a lot of hurt.

I’m no paragon of virtue, but I try really hard not to do anything to hurt my child, even if she doesn’t know I’m doing it,

I agree with you there obviously, I'd never want to hurt my child!

I dunno- perhaps the thought is that the DS/girlfriend are really not likely to venture on here!

Age gaps must be really stressful for parents.... at 16 I was seeing a 24 year old and I look back now and see how much he was taking advantage of me and how inappropriate it was... my poor mum must have been horrified.

OTOH when I was seeing a 22 yr old when I was 31 i wouldn't have called it inappropriate in the slightest. We both got exactly what we wanted from it and it was great. I did ask him what his mum would think though! 😂

Bluntness100 · 28/05/2021 20:16

I dunno- perhaps the thought is that the DS/girlfriend are really not likely to venture on here!

But that doesn’t make it ok. Doing it to your own child hoping they won’t find out.

It’s not juicy gossip.

I went out wirh a 25 year old at sixteen, a 32 year old at 17. Yes as a fifty two year old I can look back and say it was inappropriate. But you know what, I liked them, they treated me wirh respect, and I had a better fine with them than I did the spotty teens my own age.

If I’d found any of my parents behaving like the op I’d have been deeply upset about it, which is why if I was to ask for help due to my own daughters relationship, I’d do it with some respect.

Sssloou · 28/05/2021 20:20

How did they meet?

Do you know much about her background?

Does she have friends and family locally and is he introduced and involved with her wider circle?

Does he have any plans to move away to college or anything?

It is unusual but as long it’s mutual and respectful it should be OK.

Maybe he is mature and she is a bit immature?

Miseryl · 28/05/2021 20:52

No I would not be happy if either my son or my daughter was having sex with someone at 8 years older at the age of 18, I would express co concern.

PigletJohn · 28/05/2021 21:17

despite all the people saying they've had older/younger relationships, and they are/are not happy with other people doing the same

surely an alternative question is

"should I attempt to interfere with my 18-year-old son's/daughter's love life?"

to which the answer is pretty sure to be "no."

Bluntness100 · 28/05/2021 21:37

@PigletJohn

despite all the people saying they've had older/younger relationships, and they are/are not happy with other people doing the same

surely an alternative question is

"should I attempt to interfere with my 18-year-old son's/daughter's love life?"

to which the answer is pretty sure to be "no."

This.

Shelddd · 28/05/2021 21:57

[quote Mumoblue]@Shelddd

You can’t see the difference in life experience between an 18 year old and a 26 year old? Okay.

I generally have no issue with age gaps as long as the people are generally in the same stage of life and don’t have a big power/experience gap, but someone in their late 20s dating someone who has just stopped legally being a child is a bit eugh to me. No jealousy involved.[/quote]
Yeah it's fine. They're an adult. They are capable of making their own decision. If not then we need to change age of adult to older than 18.

Now... dont get me wrong I understand why OP doesn't want her son to date an older woman. That's perfectly fine to want the best mate possible for your son. Maybe you want your son to date someone his age who makes millions of dollars and is beautiful and super nice/ good person. It's fine to want those things for your son.
But I think it's interesting that people suggest there is something inappropriate between 2 consenting adults just because of the age gap.