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Original poster

My son seems to have a Mrs Robinson thing going on!

125 replies

JustMarriedAndLovingIt · 28/05/2021 07:58

Seriously, I met his girlfriend yesterday and she’s absolutely lovely but after a facebook stalk she’s at least 8 years older than him. He’s only 18 so not worldly btw. I’m pleased for both of them btw but just wonder what they both see in each other. Maybe they like the older/younger dynamic? My son is an only so has spent a lot of time with adults.

Would anyone be worried about him ending up tied down with babies very doing, eg before 23/24? Am I overthinking this?

Lastly, for anyone else with grown up sons, did it feel weird the first time you saw them larking about with someone you knew they really cared about? Like they’d finally grown up.

TIA.

OP posts:

Original poster

JustMarriedAndLovingIt · 28/05/2021 13:02

Haven’t disappeared! My son had told me her age a few weeks ago and my checking on FB showed that she was a supervisor at a shoe shop in 2013 so even if she got that role literally straight from school it would correlate with the age. Hopefully I’m just looking too far ahead.

OP posts:

Peanut91 · 28/05/2021 13:08

I met my now husband when I was 18 and he was 27. We got married after 7 years together and 12 years after we met we have a toddler and another on the way.

Age is just a number and they are both consenting adults

Bluntness100 · 28/05/2021 13:10

That makes no sense op. If he told you her age a few weeks ago, why did you say “at least” eight years older and indicate you only knew after a face book stalk.

How old did he say she was?

Myusernameisnotmyusernameno · 28/05/2021 13:17

When I met my DP he was 18 and I was 21 and some people's reactions were hilarious. When I was 18 I dated a 24 year old for 2 and a half years and no one batted an eyelid (except my Dad but that's Dad's for you).

MangosteenSoda · 28/05/2021 13:18

As an objective observer I say it’s nice that they are both happy and to just leave them to crack on and enjoy it.

If I were the mum in this situation, I’d feel protective of my son, but I’d probably feel that way regardless. I’d expect him to treat his gf nicely and be treated the same in return.

It’s actually trying to imagine myself in that position that weirds me out a bit. By 26 I had been living independently for 8 years, at uni for 3 then working for the next 5. I had lived in two different countries by then as well and would definitely not have been interested in an 18 year old who was still at college. 8 years at that stage is massive.

DeeCeeCherry · 28/05/2021 13:21

WeevilsAreEevils
If this was a mum posting about her daughter the posts would be full of concern and very different to the sentiments echoed here"

Very true. If this were my DD or DS I wouldn't be happy at all. I wouldn't be afraid to ask questions and share possible concerns. I'm open enough with DCs it wouldn't be seen as an antagonistic query, hopefully same for you OP.

StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind · 28/05/2021 13:21

Age gaps are fine but I agree it's about life stages. 18 is only just an adult and I don't know why a 26 yr old woman would want to date an 18 yr old tbh, it's odd.

When I was 31 I was casually dating a 22 yr old but it was clear that it was only casual, we both had an absolute blast and we were actually quite good friends too. Very different life stages but he was what I needed after a horrible separation and I'm pretty sure it suited him too! He was into his 20s though- the thought of dating a teenager is really icky.

EmeraldShamrock · 28/05/2021 13:22

He is probably mature however I'd have reservations too.

EmeraldShamrock · 28/05/2021 13:24

Look at Harry Styles he's an only DC who dates older. It wouldn't be for me.

amusedbush · 28/05/2021 13:30

When I was 22 I went on a date with a guy who admitted that he'd lied on his profile because he wanted to meet me, and he was actually 18. I told him he was too young and never saw him again. It would have been even more unthinkable to date a teenager in my late 20s!

8 years isn't a huge gap but it's relative. This particular age difference is weird, in my opinion, but it wouldn't be if they were 30 and 38.

Thisisus909 · 28/05/2021 13:58

I absolutely would not like this, but would play it cool and keep her close

Uptheduffy · 28/05/2021 14:01

I can remember snogging an 18 year old at a party when I was 8 years older. I had not asked as it was a student party and assumed he was also at uni - he wasn't, he'd just left school. I still feel guilty about that actually, and certainly wouldn't have dated him or gone any further!

grannycake · 28/05/2021 14:04

I met my DH when he was 18 and I was 24. We have been married 40 years next year

AGirlsGotToDo · 28/05/2021 14:18

I know someone who is 28 (man) woman is 37. Shes ready for a baby and he isn't. Yet I think he'll try just to keep her happy. He is quite obviously immature for his age (drinks and parties a lot, buys expensive stuff without thinking about saving for a deposit etc) in this case, I don't think it works but I guess it depends on the maturity of the man.

Dixiechickonhols · 28/05/2021 14:36

Do they have a hobby in common? If not it’s odd as they are at quite different life stages. Is he off to Uni that might be end of it. There’s nothing you can do. It’s good he’s open with you. I’d be friendly and include her. If not all that will happen is he’ll spend all time at hers. I’d also make sure he wasn’t daft re contraception.

ChaiTeaLattes · 28/05/2021 14:43

My husband was 23 when I met him and I was 35! That said, he was living independently with a responsible job and was mature for his age. He was actually more mature than me in many ways so we just worked! Married for 6 years now!

That said, there's no way I could have found an 18 year old attractive, nor would I have found my husband attractive had he been living at home and at college! That's the aspect that's a bit odd, not the age gap itself iyswim.

Myusernameisnotmyusernameno · 28/05/2021 15:47

@Uptheduffy

Why feel guilty?

Uptheduffy · 28/05/2021 16:06

Not sure, the gap seemed really big? I was doing teacher training at the time (a mistake!) and because he had not long left school it felt wrong! Though clearly not enough to make me stop the snogging

chocatoo · 28/05/2021 16:29

I’m 9 years older than my husband. Met him when he was 24. We are now heading towards our silver wedding anniversary! He’s kept me young I think.
I hope your son enjoys his Mrs Robinson! I’m guessing she will give him confidence and maybe lots of 'lessons in love'. Just pray that he wraps up carefully so no unwanted pregnancy!

LynetteScavo · 28/05/2021 16:40

I have an 18yo son and I would find it very odd.

When I was 26 I was getting married, and thinking about babies - I would have viewed an 18yo as a child.

I'd worry about her maturity OP, unless your DS has some sort of amazing maturity and leadership skills in the style of President Macron.

newnortherner111 · 28/05/2021 17:03

@LynetteScavo you beat me to it!!!

Is he planning on a career in French politics? He is fulfilling one of the qualifications.

Original poster

JustMarriedAndLovingIt · 28/05/2021 17:15

For the people saying life stages I think that’s what it is really. He’s more into gaming and football and I remember at 26 I wouldn’t have been interested in someone like that.

OP posts:

bumblingbovine49 · 28/05/2021 17:28

@ThePlantsitter

I mean he's 18 and she's 26. What makes you think either is the other's 'the one'? I understand feeling weird about it (I would too) but I don't think you ought to worry about the long term future just yet.

Absolutely. I have seen threads about 18 year old DDs with men in their late 20s/ early 30s and the vast majority said the man was creepy to be doing this and they would not be happy if it was their DD .

Also most nobody jumped on the op asking why they were judging the man though some did say there was nothing that could be done as the DD was 18. Nearly all said they would not.be happy though and.wpuld have liked to put a stop to it if it had been possible

Blankspace101 · 28/05/2021 17:33

Would anyone be worried about him ending up tied down with babies very doing, eg before 23/24? Am I overthinking this?

I’d relax about it. They are both young and I’m sure babies are the last thing on their mind. They might not even be dating anymore when he’s 23.

belimoo · 28/05/2021 17:41

My grandad was 18 when he got together with my 25 year old grandmother. They were utterly devoted to each other until he died before her in his late 80's.

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