If you see a Young Woman in distress - Please Help Her

[BigWoollyJumpers]

Didn't know which board to pop this on, but really just wanted to share my DD's experience.

She had been out to dinner in the city after work, and was on her way home to South London on the bus. She felt unwell, so got off the bus one stop early. At the bus stop, and in front of a Tesco and a pub, lots of people around, she passed out. She couldn't breathe, her lips and tongue had swollen. She came to and managed to stagger home, a place she has only been in for two weeks, she said she really didn't know where she was. She made it. She took some anti-histamines, felt a bit better, but on calling 111 her flatmate took her to A&E. She had had an allergic reaction, thank goodness not worse. But.......

I am so, so, sad, that on a Thursday night, about 9pm, a young woman, well groomed, well dressed, obviously straight from work, and obviously in distress, was not assisted by anyone. With everything that has been going on with women's safety, even if they thought she was drunk, surely someone could've just checked on her?

I'm sorry but it's rubbish to think that a slightly built young woman is more vulnerable when she's passed out, than a bigger built older woman!

Ridiculous in fact.

We're all vulnerable when we're passed out at night in the street!

@Christmasfairy2020 have you even been to London? You’ve made another ridiculously parochial comment about it on a different thread. As if Barnsley is a desirable place to live for god’s sake .
I lived in Yorkshire for ten unfortunate years and found it the grimmest, most insular place imaginable. Escaped to London luckily.

@WorraLiberty

I'm sorry but it's rubbish to think that a slightly built young woman is more vulnerable when she's passed out, than a bigger built older woman!

Ridiculous in fact.

We're all vulnerable when we're passed out at night in the street!

I said MORE VULNERABLE THAN A MAN - FFS

Years ago I noticed a woman slumped on a bench in a local shopping centre. She was upright but looked odd. As I went to go over a woman and security guard went over so I walked on.
She was still there on my way back out. I went to go over and the same woman was standing talking to 2 other people. She grabbed my arm and said she's drunk don't worry. I replied she didn't look right and the woman said she was a nurse and could smell the drink on her.
I still went over and the poor woman was dead. I have no idea if she was dead earlier and could have been saved.
I was absolutely horrified by it all.

I said MORE VULNERABLE THAN A MAN - FFS

Then I stand by my original point.

Her weight, her clothes, her employment and the fact she's 'pretty', has literally nothing to do with it

Glad that your daughter is alright OP but not so keen on the implication that she is somehow more deserving of help because she's young, pretty and (of course) slim. I suppose aging fat heifers like me have no chance then.

@Cocolapew

Years ago I noticed a woman slumped on a bench in a local shopping centre. She was upright but looked odd. As I went to go over a woman and security guard went over so I walked on. She was still there on my way back out. I went to go over and the same woman was standing talking to 2 other people. She grabbed my arm and said she's drunk don't worry. I replied she didn't look right and the woman said she was a nurse and could smell the drink on her. I still went over and the poor woman was dead. I have no idea if she was dead earlier and could have been saved. I was absolutely horrified by it all.

That's awful. And a nurse should know better. Even ppl who smell of alcohol still have medical emergencies. At least you did the right thing.

@ ufucoffee no really no. Having grown up in a few places in the North and then moved South I can honestly say that people - shock horror - are pretty much the same everywhere. Apart from Yorkshire where I came across the most petty, insular, smug individuals in existence. “God’s own country” my arse.

@TheMNChicken

Glad that your daughter is alright OP but not so keen on the implication that she is somehow more deserving of help because she's young, pretty and (of course) slim. I suppose aging fat heifers like me have no chance then.

Please, please, please. I just don't understand why the hate coming back to me. So many posters have been so supportive.

I never said she was more deserving. That has been extrapolated from the fact that I dared to describe her as she is. I suppose I should have just said she was a "person", but then that doesn't really set the scene does it? I felt more devastated because she is my daughter, and I feel more protective of her in particular. Surely I shouldn't be derided because of that. So, not more deserving, of course not, but just not in any way intimidating to others. Of course you are deserving, equally so. In fact, sorry, I have had this out with another poster, but I still think women in particular, any woman, young, old, fat, thin, well dressed or not, is more vulnerable than a man. I just can't understand why others would not think that, it doesn't make sense.

Perhaps I should have put this on the feminist board, but really, surely, this is a parenting site, and we all have DC's we would want to be assisted in an emergency.

Anyway, thanks for the support from those who did, and for those who shared their experience too. I think I might bow out now, as I am beginning to feel a bit bullied .

Of course you are deserving, equally so. In fact, sorry, I have had this out with another poster, but I still think women in particular, any woman, young, old, fat, thin, well dressed or not, is more vulnerable than a man. I just can't understand why others would not think that, it doesn't make sense.

I think the point that you’re being picked apart for is pretty unfair.

I felt a lot more vulnerable in my late teens and early 20s than I do as a grown woman. I was physically weaker, I made choices to put me in more vulnerable situations, I had far less awareness / street smarts about me. I was far more attractive and slimmer, putting me in the eyes of the disgusting creeps who pray on women for power but also the younger guys who think they can take a chance on a young woman and may not have fully thought through the consequences. Now, I am much stronger, older, wiser, am more risk adverse and have no problem with making a scene / walking away if something doesn’t feel right / being seen to be rude.

Of course young women are more at risk than older women. Of course they’re more at risk if they’re dressed a certain way. It doesn’t mean that “old, fat women” (or however it was phrased) are safe but I think there are definitely more risky situations.

Your poor daughter :( I hope she's OK now. My heart goes out to her - I have a chronic illness that make sme feel very unwell all the time, and occasionally keel over or have to sit down before I fall down, and I've been tutted at and stepped over on a number of occasions. I always try to be a helper, even though I'm not always in a state to, because I wouldn't wish the alternative on anyone.

@WickedQueen

I’m an emetophobe. This, to be honest, prevents me from helping in a lot of situations. I’m not proud of it but I just can’t. I wouldn’t just step over someone though I would phone an ambulance etc.

Me too. I can't risk someone being ill. I would help from a distance if I could, I wouldn't walk away but I couldn't be close enough for someone to be sick near me.

@Thingstodotoday I live in the middle of lots and lots of countryside. Its lovely and people are so friendly. Where I live one of the chaps on cul de sac on our Estate (big private estate with a big lake in middle) does a santa on a sleigh, dresses up as Easter bunny and does a big parade and gives gifts for kids. They also arrange a Christmas singing with music etc at Xmas. Very nice up here. Some awful places but also very nice and lovely greenery what area of s yorks was you.

We saw a young girl last weekend in our local park at dusk , who was drunk and upset so I walked up to ask her if she was ok, she couldn’t find her friends and one of them had her bag and her phone was flat so she was very upset. We offered to get her a taxi home but her keys were in her bag, luckily three young women who were walking to their flat just beside the park said she could come back with them to charge her phone so she went with them. I’m glad we stopped and the other women helped.