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Original poster

If you see a Young Woman in distress - Please Help Her

114 replies

BigWoollyJumpers · 22/05/2021 10:45

Didn't know which board to pop this on, but really just wanted to share my DD's experience.

She had been out to dinner in the city after work, and was on her way home to South London on the bus. She felt unwell, so got off the bus one stop early. At the bus stop, and in front of a Tesco and a pub, lots of people around, she passed out. She couldn't breathe, her lips and tongue had swollen. She came to and managed to stagger home, a place she has only been in for two weeks, she said she really didn't know where she was. She made it. She took some anti-histamines, felt a bit better, but on calling 111 her flatmate took her to A&E. She had had an allergic reaction, thank goodness not worse. But.......

I am so, so, sad, that on a Thursday night, about 9pm, a young woman, well groomed, well dressed, obviously straight from work, and obviously in distress, was not assisted by anyone. With everything that has been going on with women's safety, even if they thought she was drunk, surely someone could've just checked on her?

OP posts:

Summerfun54321 · 22/05/2021 21:41

I lived in London for 10 years and saw a lot of people helping others. I’ve been helped myself by a stranger in a couple of circumstances. Your daughter was unlucky but try not to worry, she said she passed out and came round and got home but to others it might not have looked so dramatic.

AZisgreat · 22/05/2021 21:46

I would hope that if when she came around, she had thought to go into Tescos, they would have helped her at Customer Services.

GarlicThread · 22/05/2021 21:54

" I am so, so, sad, that on a Thursday night, about 9pm, a young woman, well groomed, well dressed, obviously straight from work, and obviously in distress, was not assisted by anyone".

Sorry for your daughter's experience but I would help anyone in distress - regardless of the day of the week, time of day, their age, sex, level of grooming, choice of clothing, and employed or not!

SylHellais · 22/05/2021 21:59

@Christmasfairy2020

Thats london for you. If she did this in South yorkshire. Especially barnsley she would have had lots of people help her and an ambulance I guarantee it

Way to go trying to reinforce that north (nice people) south (selfish cunts) divide. You’d be wrong.

spongedog · 22/05/2021 22:07

My ex (husband, male) had a serious allergic reaction to tuna (there can be a bacteria). Normally it is fine due to canning processes but not always. We were in London at a friend's party but were early so went to a very posh hotel for pre-drinks and canapes. He began to feel ill and by the time we started home he was most unwell. At our local station I was supporting him up the stairs off the platform - no help at all from all the commuters. He was staggering and probably looked drunk.

I posted several weeks later on on the local facebook page that all was not as it seemed. Not everyone who is staggering, slurred speech, wobbly, incoherent is drunk. I can understand the fear about women helping men in distress - I feel the same. But I do try to help young people where I can.

Sally872 · 22/05/2021 22:12

An allergic reaction where she couldn't breath and passed out is very serious. Does she know what caused it? Does she have an epi pen? Sounds awful. Very lucky she got home and to antihistamines in time.

Backtoblack1 · 22/05/2021 22:16

I think this is indicative of London/city life. In Wales, people would have helped her.

I hope your daughter is ok now x

WorraLiberty · 22/05/2021 22:32

@Backtoblack1

I think this is indicative of London/city life. In Wales, people would have helped her.

I hope your daughter is ok now x

Seriously, has someone left the gate open at the ignoramus farm tonight? 🤷‍♀️

afterthestormagain · 22/05/2021 23:23

That happened to me one time in London. I was on the tube and passed out as I'd been feeling unwell during the day. No one but one family from Germany helped and the tube was pretty packed. Says a lot about the people in London. I'm in my 20s.

ShirleyPhallus · 22/05/2021 23:42

God would people give the London bashing a fucking rest. Some of the supposedly friendly towns listed on this thread are the most small minded, cliquey, insular places I’ve ever been.

WorraLiberty · 23/05/2021 00:42

@ShirleyPhallus it's just small-minded bigotry.

The people who tar Londoners with the same brush, would probably be seen screaming about racism and xenophobia if they witnessed anyone doing the same about a country or its inhabitants.

NoToast · 23/05/2021 01:22

I've always helped people in distress. If it's a man passed out then I will find and ask another man to check on them. I've never been refused.

In terms of the bystander affect I remember reading that if being attacked for example, you should single people out and directly ask them for help or to call the police.

SE13Mummy · 23/05/2021 01:42

How's your DD doing now @BigWoollyJumpers? I hope she's recovered from the allergic reaction and I'm so sorry to read that no one offered to help her on Thursday. I'm in SE London and can't imagine someone in your DD's situation being ignored by passers by round here as people seem to be good at offering help.

Myself and a number of others on our street responded to the screams of a 20-something who'd been mugged, called the Police, wrapped her in blankets and sat on the pavement with her until the Police arrived. I've scooped up a cold, sobbing student on the last train out of Charing Cross, charged her phone and then driven her to her student house a few miles away to make sure she got back safely, my 11-yr-old fell flat on her face on the way home from school and was helped by local sixth formers before the closest adults had got to her, my 14-yr-old got stuck in a bus diversion and subsequent cancellation so couldn't get to where she was meant to be meeting me. Her phone had died and she was panicking and crying. A postman offered the use of the charger in his van and let her sit there (it was parked right outside a main PO so there was lots of foot traffic) whilst he made endless trips back and forth, unloading his van into the PO.

There's a lot of kindness in London and I'm sorry none was spared for your DD last week.

eurochick · 23/05/2021 07:41

I hope she is ok now.

The London bashing on this thread is awful. Can you imagine if all Scottish or Welsh inhabitants were being talked about in the same way?

These are unusual times. There are fewer people around on the streets. And after more than a year of being told to stay 2m apart from others it is not surprising that people might feel hesitant about approaching a stranger.

grapewine · 23/05/2021 07:50

@eurochick

I hope she is ok now.

The London bashing on this thread is awful. Can you imagine if all Scottish or Welsh inhabitants were being talked about in the same way?

All of this. I was always helped while living in London. The bashing is so unhelpful.

Dozer · 23/05/2021 07:57

Sorry that happened to your DD.

Agree, very often people in London do help. DH has a fair few times. Including when a problem is due to booze, eg man shouting at or physically intimidating his girlfriend, drunk man injured after falling down station stairs.

But I haven’t, when alone, intervened to help a man, due to fear.
.

SweatyBetty20 · 23/05/2021 07:59

It’s not a north-south thing. It’s probably more of a gender thing - people are more willing to help women than men. I’ve been helped twice when ill when I lived in London, but I’ve lost count of the times nobody helped my brother when he had epileptic seizures in the middle of Manchester when he was on the commute.

anon12345678901 · 23/05/2021 08:04

These kind of threads bring out the London bashing. It's pretty immature to constantly bring out the north good, south bad all the time. Not just immature but also incorrect. London like all places has people who will help and people who won't, As does Wales and the North of England. (The two mentioned so far)

Curatingchaos · 23/05/2021 08:05

Do people who don’t live in London realise there are people from all over the world coming into a london every day, including people from Barnsley and Wales ?

LemonRoses · 23/05/2021 08:06

How odd, poor girl.

I can’t imagine anyone in the U.K. not assisting regardless of age, or even if they were drunk. Maybe it was because it was late? It is horrible knowing your children have been attacked or unwell and nobody has helped.

Hopefully she’ll know what the reaction was too and be able to avoid it happening again.

WickedQueen · 23/05/2021 08:23

I’m an emetophobe. This, to be honest, prevents me from helping in a lot of situations. I’m not proud of it but I just can’t. I wouldn’t just step over someone though I would phone an ambulance etc.

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 23/05/2021 08:56

London is no different to other places in my experience. Many times I have stopped to help and in turn, been helped when I needed it. I hope your daughter is ok.

Bourbonandcoke · 23/05/2021 09:20

I always do being an ex-paramedic. Just needs someone to take charge and direct others to help, call 999 etc.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/05/2021 10:20

Fully agree. However I fail to see the relevance in her being well groomed.
Would it have acceptable had it been someone homeless who had washed or changed their clothes in months

WorraLiberty · 23/05/2021 10:43

@Curatingchaos

Do people who don’t live in London realise there are people from all over the world coming into a london every day, including people from Barnsley and Wales ?

No, the London bashers clearly don't, which is what I meant about small-minded. It's embarrassing 😂

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